Next up... Podcasting?

Since I'm all about The Pod now.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4120773.stm

I Smell Oscar

5,808 ballots were sent out to Academy Award voters yesterday!

Oh, Liza

Liza Minnelli was hospitalized yesterday after falling out of bed.

Normally, this would be one of those stories that has me in tears (of laughter), but I kind of feel sad since she was so funny on Arrested Development.

Toasty? I think not

Let me start by saying that Quizno's rocks. I love that place. Now, onto my story... I am at Subway recently when they offer to toast my sub. Okay, what the heck... go ahead and toast (into what appears to be a microwave on steroids). This should be interesting, I say to myself. And it is... interesting. But not necessarily in a good way. Yes, the sub is warm and yes, it appears as though there are areas which resemble bread having been toasted. But in no way does this sub look, taste or feel like an actual toasted sub.

Don't fall for the ploy, kids. Subway might offer to "toast" your sub but it will never compare to Quizno's.

I am now cool

I am the proud owner of an iPod. It's all very exciting, actually. And of course, there is an amusing story to go along with it. My husband, who is rather computer illiterate, but tries really hard..... (honest, he does!)... went out and bought me an iPod that was loaded for Windows. Don't ask how, he just did. Knowing I was headed for Columbus, I decided I would make time to stop at the Apple Store to puchase the correct version. Dan and Megan volunteered to go with me and thankfully we didn't leave another moment later. By the time we got to the store, there was no 20 GB Pods left.... except for the one the sales guy was holding. As he was telling another customer that he would probably be getting more, I reached out for the one he had and said, "I'll take that". No apologies from me... I was a woman on a mission. I wasn't leaving without an iPod!!

So, it's all very exciting and I'm sure my family won't be seeing me again anytime soon cuz I'll be holed up on the computer downloading music to the Pod. Wheeeeee!!!!!!!

Lists

If you haven't yet noticed, I love the lists. Here are a ton for you to enjoy over the holidays (ignore the links below, use the one up here):

6 Ways To Die in Southern California, by MIKE DAVIS
Charm School for Celebrities, by MARGY ROCHLIN
Hockey: The Most Macho Sport, by RICHARD BELLIKOFF.
Surviving the Holidays at Your Republican Parents’ Home, by KERRY MADDEN
14 Hairstyles of the Pundits, by NORA ZELEVANSKY
Hollywood Breakup Techniques, by FLINT WAINESS and ANNA JANE GROSSMAN.
Hollywood Overheard, by NIKKI FINKE
Exile From Bushville, by JUSTIN CLARK.
12 Man-Made Disasters, by JUDITH LEWIS
100th Anniversary of Empathy, by GREG BURK
Random Acts of Stupidity, by STEVEN MIKULAN.
10 Los Angeles Moments. Illustrations by CHANDLER WOOD.
JOHN POWERS on The Meta-Media Madness Top 10.
26 Clubs To Join, by KATE WOLF.
All About Laura, by SEVEN McDONALD
6 Blogs of the Samizdat, by JOHNNY ANGEL
Observed at The Grove, by JON ALAIN GUZIK
8 Famous People Whose Smiles Give the Willies, by JUNE MELBY
Love and Hate, L.A. Style, by Justin Clark.
6 Reasons Why November 2 Wasn’t a Total Gay Political Nightmare, by CHRISTOPHER LISOTTA.
6 Bush Scandals To Come, by DAVID CORN
8 Alley Shortcuts, by ELIZABETH ARNOLD
3 Arnold Predictions, by BILL BRADLEY.
4 Ways to Learn the Truth About Iraq, by DOUG IRELAND
Full Court Press, by JUDITH LEWIS
Top Five Sandwiches I Invented in 2004, by JON ALAIN GUZIK.
Where Are They Now? Illustrations by J.T. STEINY.
10 Great Profiles, by ANTHONY MILLER
Essential Reading From the Government, by GREG GOLDIN
Top 10 Numbers, by ANNE FISHBEIN
Top March-On-D.C. Tees, by NORA ZELEVANSKY.
11 Villains, by GENDY ALIMURUNG
Global Warming, by WILLIAM KELLY
Best New Drugs on TV, by DAVE SHULMAN
L.A. vs. O.C., by PETER FLETCHER.
Best Dishes of 2004. BY JONATHAN GOLD
10 Memorable Moments on the Local Stage, by STEVEN LEIGH MORRIS
Classics Illustrated, by STEVEN MIKULAN.
COLE GERST’s Year in Rock Posters.
Some Very Excellent Books, recommended by JOHN POWERS, DAVE EGGERS, JOY NICHOLSON, VENDELA VIDA and more.
5 List-Obsessed Books, by ANTHONY MILLER.
2004 in Film, by ELLA TAYLOR
Top 10, Er, 12 Movies, by SCOTT FOUNDAS
DVD Roundup, by PAUL MALCOLM, RON STRINGER, ERNEST HARDY and ELLA TAYLOR
11 Great Small Performances, by ROBERT ABELE
Notable Scene Stealers, by MATTHEW DUERSTEN
7 Ways To Waste Time Inside Your Xbox, by JOSHUAH BEARMAN
Film Editor’s Choice, by RON STRINGER
TV 2004, by ROBERT ABELE.
Materialistic Fetishism Reconsidered, by DOUG HARVEY
2004 Fashion Trends We’ll Regret By 2006, by NORA ZELEVANSKY
10 names for Kush Strains, by BEN QUIÑONES.
Light and Dark 10, by GREG BURK
6 Reasons I Survived 2004, by KATE SULLIVAN
2 Accordion Repair Shops, by JUNE MELBY
Audio Pepper Spray, by PETER FLETCHER
13 Great CD Reissues You May Have Never Heard Of, by MATTHEW DUERSTEN
5 Instant Folk Anthems, by PIOTR ORLOV
Punk Rock History Lessons, by FALLING JAMES
Metal and Wood, by GREG BURK
On-Deck Playlist, by BEN QUIÑONES
Call me Nostradamus, by ALEC HANLEY BEMIS
12 Musical Highs, by FALLING JAMES
8 Eerie CDs, by JONNY WHITESIDE
Gobbing on Empires, by MATTHEW DUERSTEN
Sounds of Music, by ALAN RICH
On the List, by LINA LECARO
Song titles from Cambodian Rocks, by AMIR ZAKARIA
15 Unacceptable High School Band Names, by FLANNERY LUNSFORD and MARTIN HIRSCHLAND.
Welcome to the Doll House. Photos by ANNE FISHBEIN.
Kobe Bryant timeline, by JON ALAIN GUZIK. Plus, Guzik on Why Moneyball Sucks.
10 Ways to Avoid a Fiery Descent Into Hell, by JAMI SUPSIC
26 Food Banks Where You Can Share Your Wealth, by CHRISTINE PELISEK.

Vince & Owen

Quickly becoming one of my favorite comic duos. They're costars in The Wedding Crashers. "You know how they say we only use 10% of our brains? I think we only use 10% of our hearts." - Owen Wilson

Merry Christmas!

Santa's in a good mood.

Those Sexy Olympians

From E!:

The FCC's investigation into whether the opening of the 2004 Olympic Games was obscene was prompted by only nine complaints. One offended individual complained about having to "to sit there with my kids and watch a guy basically rip off a girl's clothes while appearing to have sex." NBC said it never received any complaints during the Olympics.

I don't remember that part, but it sure sounds like it required skilled athleticism.

In all seriousness, you do not have to sit there and watch anything with your kids. You are a parent. It is your responsibility to make sure what your children watch is appropriate. If people are simulating sex, then change the channel! Finally, I do not recall anyone basically ripping each other's clothing off and appearing to have sex during the Olympics. So essentially, you are a bad parent and you are stupid.

Summerland

Anyone watch this show? I guess it's kind of a hit?

Carmen Electra is joining the show as a bad girl! Her motivation for being bad? She's probably still pissed about being the "host" of Manhunt.

RW/RR Challenge Update

I'm catching up on three episodes with random capitalization....

The first one: the girls vs. the guys playing doctor. do you remember "operation?" it's basically that, with a really big stick. without resorting to dirty puns, nick and aneesa get voted off.

The second one: they have a pop culture quiz. (or they can ride their bike over a half-pipe.) It is so easy, I think my mom could do OK on it. My favorite question is who was voted off first on the real world. everyone knows it was david, but the guys guess puck. (my second favorite: what is madonna's two kids names. anyone who reads people or us knows the answer to this question.) the girls win the challenge for the second time (guys are on eight). tonya spoons with theo. frank goes home (which is okay, otherwise i probably wouldn't have seen him out at the bars in LA). and veronica goes home... thank goodness! i think she is such a bitch. so i'm glad. i do love that tonya has turned into a "leader."

The third one: the girls are already fighting, which is such a huge surprise (i didn't even have to think about this to offer sarcasm.) side note: did johnny mosley get one of those japanese straightening perms? they have to put food through a shedder, and whoever has the most at the end wins. new phrase: "if you think you're fast, you should have a bucket on your head." i'm gonna use that at work. the food they have to throw through the shredder is leftover butcher meat. nice. and now the bucket phrase makes sense, cause they have to catch the food in buckets on their heads. by the way, this is nasty. you should watch. new phrase: "i can't just seem to get a lot of meat in my bucket." another useful one for work. "robin decides it's gonna be funny to come up to me and get meat, blood, potatoes, corn, everything all over me, which is kind of erotic in a weird way." uh-huh. thanks, mark. the men win. they have more meat. randy goes, and so does ibi (ibie? ebie?). see you at the next mission. bye.

Looking Back

In 2003, Movie City News scored films based on their placement on dozens and dozens of top tens lists around the country.... at the end of the day, here is how the top ten overall shook out:

Lost in Translation
LOTR: Return of the King
Mystic River
American Splendor
Finding Nemo
In America
Capturing the Friedmans
Master & Commander
21 Grams
Kill Bill: Volume 1

Here is how 2004 looks right now. With many lists still to come...

Sideways
Million Dollar Baby
Bad Education
Eternal Sunshine
Before Sunset
Notre Musique (huh?)
The Incredibles
Tarnation
The Aviator
House of Flying Daggers

I wouldn't mind seeing Kill Bill 2, Finding Neverland and Garden State creep up the list to the top 10. This is kind of like the BCS system, you NCAA fans, right?

Film Quiz: 2004

How well do you remember the films of 2004 (with a slightly-British slant)?

I scored 18 out of 30. Not bad for a Yank!

People's Best of 2004

I hate People Magazine, yet I can't avoid reading it. I think it is tacky, and my perception of its reader is a 50-ish woman, smoking a cigarette sitting on a lawn chair in her trailer park. So I take Peoples' opinions with a grain of salt. Here are their favorites:

MOVIES
Spider-Man 2
The Incredibles
Ray
Sideways
The Motorcycle Diaries (eh)
Kinsey
Hero (way over-rated)
Hotel Rwanda
Vera Drake

Basically, I think this is an okay, uncreative choice of 10.

TV
Lost
Broadway: An American Musical (PBS' uber-boring doc)
Desperate Housewives
Rescue Me
Deadwood
Huff (this was a piece of shit, by the way)
House
The Daily Show
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
Pimp My Ride (ok, this is an unexpected choice)

More creative, and accurate, than its movie choices.

MUSIC
Gwen Stefani
George Michael
Brandy (huh?)
Eminem
Van Hunt
Talib Kweli (great CD)
Jill Scott
Jamie Cullum
Gretchen Wilson
U2

OK, but I don't think the trailer crowd is into intellectual hip-hop, no? People also lists Randy Jackson's playlist, but I don't care.

The list you don't want to be on...

Britney Spears tops "Access Hollywood's" list of top stars of 2004.

2. Beyonce
3. Donald Trump
4. Michael Jackson
5. Tom Cruise
6. Jessica Simpson
7. Paris Hilton
8. Nicole Kidman
9. Jennifer Lopez
10. Whitney Houston

(It should be noted, it's based on number of Access Hollywood stories)

Real World 16

Set in Austin. It starts in June. And features a hot tub. And some neon cowboy kitsch.

Catching up on Joey

First of all, why am I watching Joey and not The OC? Well, I wasn't into The O.C. when the second season began. Honest mistake.

The writing on Joey is so obvious it makes me want to dry-heave.

What is Bob Sagat doing on Joey? Jesus, get someone who isn't totally desperate for some cash.

The cast is so cute, I just wish they would give them some decent material.

Dark Water

Just watched the trailer on apple.com/trailers. This has a great cast (Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly, Tim Roth, Dougray Scott) and looks pretty creepy. What is it with horror movies and kids singing kids' songs (in this case, "Itsey Bitsey Spider") in a freaky voice?

Martha Talks

Dear Friends,

When one is incarcerated with 1,200 other inmates, it is hard to be selfish at Christmas -- hard to think of Christmases past and Christmases future -- that I know will be as they always were for me -- beautiful! So many of the women here in Alderson will never have the joy and wellbeing that you and I experience. Many of them have been here for years -- devoid of care, devoid of love, devoid of family.

I beseech you all to think about these women -- to encourage the American people to ask for reforms, both in sentencing guidelines, in length of incarceration for nonviolent first-time offenders, and for those involved in drug-taking. They would be much better served in a true rehabilitation center than in prison where there is no real help, no real programs to rehabilitate, no programs to educate, no way to be prepared for life "out there" where each person will ultimately find herself, many with no skills and no preparation for living.

I am fine, really. I look forward to being home, to getting back to my valuable work, to creating, cooking, and making television. I have had time to think, time to write, time to exercise, time to not eat the bad food, and time to walk and contemplate the future. I've had my work here too. Cleaning has been my job – washing, scrubbing, sweeping, vacuuming, raking leaves, and much more. But like everyone else here, I would rather be doing all of this in my own home, and not here -- away from family and friends.

I want to thank you again, and again, for your support and encouragement. You have been so terrific to me and to everyone who stood by me. I appreciate everything you have done, your emails, your letters, and your kind, kind words.

Happy holidays,
Martha Stewart

Hmmm.. does anyone else find it interesting that Martha is doing much the same "work" inside prison as she does outside prison?

Roger Ebert's Films of 2004

I don't necessarily agree with him most of the time, but his analysis of films is usually very in-depth and respectable. His top ten:

1. Million Dollar Baby (I guess this is the must-see of the year)
2. Kill Bill: Volume 2 (I totally agree with this)
3. Vera Drake (I don't get Mike Leigh films)
4. Spider-Man 2 (OK)
5. Moolaade
6. The Aviator
7. Baadasssss!
8. Sideways
9. Hotel Rwanda
10. Undertow (this is a suprise - it stars Billy Elliot)

Special Jury Prize (15 films that were really good that aren't in the top 10)

The Assassination of Richard Nixon
Closer
The Dreamers (blech)
House of Flying Daggers
Kinsey
The Merchant of Venice
The Passion of the Christ (overrated)
The Polar Express
Ray
The Saddest Music in the World
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
The Terminal (suprise)
Touching the Void (a very watchable reenactment)
Twilight Samurai
When Will I Be Loved

Best Documentaries

The Argronomist
Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (frightening)
Fahrenheit 9/11
My Architect
Riding Giants (surfing docs are back!)
Tarnation (I need to see this)

Ebert's Worst Films of 2004:

1. Troy and Alexander (tie)
2. Christmas with the Kranks
3. The Girl Next Door
4. Dogville (totally agree)
5. New York Minute (who was expecting anything else)
6. The Grudge
7. White Chicks
8. Resident Evil: The Apocalypse
9. The Whole Ten Yards
10. The Village

I kind of think that worst lists shouldn't go for the obvious, but the films that tried really hard and really ended up being shitty (ie Alexander vs. White Chicks).

Apple's Daddy Says Merry Chrismakkah

From the Coldplay newsletter:

Check out the homepage of www.coldplay.com to watch the exclusive festive message from the band.Next year is set to be huge with the release of the third album. As a member of In My Place you'll be among the first to hear album news as it breaks and see some great footage on our brand new video channel.

They are in need of a third album. Number two was a big success (too big).

I feel bad for the teacher...

Ashley Olsen, according to Page Six, has signed up for acting classes. I think her sister, Mary Kate, is smart enough just to take regular classes.

The Producers Are Smart

Uma Thurmann has joined the cast of film version of The Producers!! She will play the buxom Swedish secretary Ulla, originally taken by Nikki Kidman, who was too busy becoming an elf to star in the film.

...and starring Camryn Manheim as....

Bend It Like Beckham star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers will portray Elvis Presley in an upcoming fact-based CBS miniseries. Camryn Manheim and Randy Quaid will also star.

Who the heck is Camryn playing???

Dead Like Dead Like Me

Dead Like Me is cancelled on Showtime. I have some friends (a friend, actually) that really liked this show.

Doggie Style

Natasha Lyonne was arrested was arrested for threatening her neighbor's dog.

America Has Become Predictable

1. Desperate Housewives (22.3 million)
2. CSI: Miami (20.5)
3. CSI (19.5)
4. 60 Minutes (18.6)
5. The Apprentice (16.9)
6. Two and a Half Men (16.22)
7. Without a Trace (16.2)
8. Everybody Loves Raymond (15.9)
9. CSI: NY (15.6)
10. Cold Case (14.8)

Thank goodness for Desperate Housewives (Lost was not on last week) or else America might have become boring, too.

NY-70

No, it's not a congressional district, it's the new NBC cop drama, based on the real-life experiences of Sonny Grosso and Eddie Egan. They were the cops behind a huge drug bust, which was previously turned into the 1971 Oscar-winner "The French Connection."

Normally I wouldn't care about a new cop drama, but they just cast Bobby Cannavale. He's been on "Will & Grace" (as Will's b-friend), "Oz" and "Six Feet Under" (as Keith's coworker during the bodyguard period). But the movie that really made me like him was "The Station Agent." He is so cool and so likable in that movie. If you haven't seen it, you need to check it out.

Free Fiona

Fiona Apple's third album has reportedly been finished for a year and a half, but the record label feels that it isn't commercially viable. So it's been sitting on the shelf over at Epic. Go sign a petition at www.freefiona.com if you want to hear the follow up to "When The Pawn..."

Dining for a Dollar: The Holidays

Balls

The Frankford Candy & Chocolate Co.'s "Balls" offer the traditional frustration of trying to unwrap foil-wrapped confections without gouging them, plus the added and equally traditional frustration of finding streaks of waxy white blooming on the unwrapped chocolate. But who really wants to eat them anyway? The main reason to buy these stocking stuffers is their unfortunate name.

Scariest-sounding ingredient: "Cocoa (Processed With Alkali)."

Seasonally appropriate? Nothing says holiday fun like these seven words: "Would you like to taste my balls?"


Santa's Gummy Gifts: Candy Pops

Not quite lollipops, not quite Gummi candy... This special Santa-related treat was seemingly designed both to frighten and queasify small children. First, there's the packaging, which depicts a snowman holding a stick bearing—the head of another snowman! And if ritualistic snowmanicide isn't enough, there's the piece of plastic used to cover the Santa lolly: Remove the candy, and all that's left is a Mr. Claus with eyes so dilated he looks either homicidal or completely wasted.

Scariest-sounding ingredient: "Glucose syrup."

Seasonally appropriate? Not in the least. Halloween is for sickening and scaring children, not Christmas. Get it straight, Chinese company that manufactured these lollies for sole U.S. distribution by R.L. Albert & Son!

Marshmallow Peeps Cutouts: Holiday Cookie Flavored

Peeps are called Peeps for a reason, or so it would seem: They're marshmallow gunk shaped like little birds, and birds make peeping noises. But the Just Born candy company (founded by Russian immigrant Sam Born in 1923) has expanded the line so far that there's even a "not just for breakfast any more"-style slogan to accompany the various non-avian Peeps. Ready? "Peeps. Always in season." For this holiday, Peeps take the shape of gingerbread men and assume a noncommittal flavor called simply "holiday cookie."

Scariest-sounding ingredient: "Soy protein."

Seasonally appropriate? Not really. Peeps still taste like that other Jesus-related holiday, Easter. As everyone knows, the first Christians drank eggnog when Christ was born, and ate marshmallow birds when He died: So it was written, so it shall be done. In spite of the seasonal incongruity, though, these Peeps are quite delicious.

Meet the Fockers

From The Onion A.V. Club:

Needless to say, the film's illustrious, Academy Award-winning cast is a long way from Taxi Driver, The Graduate, Funny Girl, or even Meet The Parents. Meet The Fockers has assembled a historic, once-in-a-lifetime cast, then stranded them in the laziest, most mercenary kind of sequel imaginable. It's like the 1927 Yankees taking on the Special Olympics softball team.

Chat with Kristen on E!

Q: Lost?
A: Two of the characters are related in a way that is different than what we think. And there's a big shocker coming up. One of the much-loved good guys (at least, he's seemed good so far) kills someone. Your eyes might pop out of your sockets. Wear protective gear.

Q: So, how surprised were you to find out Rex [Desperate Housewives] isn't gay, he's just, uh, kinky?
A: Very. But I hear another hubby is not so much straight.

Disaster Strikes

"Spanish actor Javier Bardem accidentally broke a former model's nose while dancing at the New York launch party for his new movie The Sea Inside. The 35-year-old was attempting to dance with Jill Marshall at Chelsea nightclub Gypsy Tea at the December 9 bash, when disaster struck."
OK, the writing in this article is way over-dramatic, but this happened to me at Kim Winderl's house when I was in 7th grade. Jenni Dietz totally hit me in the eye when I was dancing, and we thought my contact was knocked out (I even went to my eye doctor that night - we had to wake him up for an emergency appointment!). No sign of my contact, so I just got a new one. Six months later, I feel something strange in my eye, and my contact comes out! It has all this puss all over it. So I can really relate to Javier and that former model, Jill Marshall.

Projects for the Holidays

Figure out how to tivo one thing and watch another.

Watch the Alias promo on tivo as many times as possible.

Catch up on movies. I need to see about 3 a day over the break to feel good with where I'm at.

The O.C.

I finished it last night (at the same time I finished a bottle of wine). The first season was great! Very impressed that it ended on such a depressing note. Seth sailing out to God-knows-where, Marissa drinkin' from a flask, Ryan driving back to Chino with pregnant Theresa, Rachel all sad she blew it with Seth, and the wedding from hell (Caleb and Julie Cooper), and of course, Kirsten and Sandy sad that Ryan is gone (that Kelly Rowan is good!).

Can't wait for season 2! Oh wait, it's halfway through the season already. Damn! I missed it!

Would You Like Some More Mashed Potatoes?

Could that question be any creepier?

This week on Desperate Housewives, from Television Without Pity:

So, it turns out that Perfect PTA Mom Maisy Gibbons (Sharon Lawrence) turns ricks when her kids are at school. And one of her johns is Rex, who is into some S&M stuff that he's scared to ask KimberBree to try. Maisy suggests that he be honest with KimberBree, but he never gets a chance: he has a heart attack while Maisy's working him over. This, of course, means that KimberBree finds out Rex has been stepping out on her, but she waits until he gets out of surgery to tell him that she's getting the most vindictive divorce lawyer she can find and she's going to take him for everything he's got. She rules. In other stories, Lynette has issues with how competent Claire the Nanny is -- like, what do you WANT, Lynette? Either you have a great nanny and get back to good mental health and maybe go back to work part-time, or you don't have a nanny and you go out of your mind. Make your choice. Carlos is still in jail, and asks Gabrielle to burn some incriminating documents for him and to bring him his passport so he can get out of the joint. Instead, a suspicious Gabrielle keeps the papers and burns the passport. She's beginning to suspect that, like Britney Spears, Carlos is not that innocent. Susan finds out that Julie's been harboring Zack, and orders Zack back to his father's house. Paul then proceeds as normal -- in other words, he acts all squirrelly and potentially abusive, but mostly just creepy. Julie reads Susan the riot act for acting more like a child than a parent, in a scene that's remarkably thoughtful for this show. And, finally, Edie begins to wonder what happened to Mrs. Kravitz and calls in the cops. Also: y'all know that James Denton doesn't really do it for me, but he was really charming in this episode.

Stephen King's Top 10 Films of 2004

From EW:

10. Red Lights
9. The Bourne Supremecy
8. Collateral
7. The Incredibles
6. Shrek 2
5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Fahrenheit 9/11
3. The Manchurian Candidate
2. Dawn of the Dead
1. Maria Full of Grace

Definitely one of the more interesting and random top ten lists. He describes his reason for picking each one in the mag.

Vomit

Bush is Time Magazine's Person of the Year.

Buscapades

DC, unlike LA has a nice public train system. however, in my 'hood, we have no train stop. it seems that the georgetown set prefers to keep the "riff raff" out by constantly voting down any intitatives to bring the train our way. so as a result, i take the DC metrobus to work. i'd like to give y'all a glimpse into my fun commute to/from work on thered line bus. i've been tracking the daily happenings of the redline#s 32,34,35,36 buses. i call them "club redline" since the buses areso much fun....and usually standing room only.


2 weeks ago -- meet a friend's spring soiree date from 2 yearsago....she's nice.....wants me to apologize to my friend for ditching him for her friends.....i laugh...would have been funnier if it was someone brandon biegenzahn knew.

2 weeks ago -- guy sits next to me as i board the bus on capitol hill.he looks older, but completely normal.....that is until he gives me abrochure regarding george w. bush's ability to control the weather,blaming him for the severe hurricane season. i laughnervously....planned bus escape route.

last tuesday -- bus driver stops at the national archives. turns busoff. leaves bus....20 or so passengers wonder what happens to the busdriver.....driver returns 20 minutes later...no explanationLast wednesday -- woman sitting next to me praying the rosary, withfull rosary beads, the entire (45 minute) bus ride.

Last Friday -- bus driver tells us that he's going to take an"impromptu detour"....not sure if he can make that decision....i saynothing.last friday -- bus brakes suddenly -- about 5 people standing are nowlaying on the ground.

monday -- bus #34 hits a parked car. just keeps going.

also monday -- bus stops at national archives......10 blocks fromwork.....bus driver announces that this will be the last stop of theday....bus should have continued further.....i think the bus driver is improvising again....i acquiesce, exit the bus with several otherconfused people and walk.....getting used to the constant footpain/bleeding.

Tuesday -- bag lady asleep on bus. by "bag lady" i actually mean a lady wearing bags. she was covered in garbage bags. she slept for most of the ride, but managed to wake up in time to get off at her stop. she carried with her a handbag, as well as a cart of bags.

Tuesday -- miss 7:58 bus -- waited for a half hour while 4 busses of\another number pass by. by the time a red line approaches,\approximately 100 people are at the stop waiting to ride.

this morning -- wating in the front of the bus to get off.....elderly\woman in front of me.....she smelled of old lady really bad......black man with no teeth comments how bad she smell.....he does this out loud.....very loud......he doesn't realize that he smells of beer andwinstons."

Bizarro Christmas

Since we're all kvetching about our lame weekends, I'd like to add my own little story. I did not drink (I wish I had!). I did not deal with stinky old ladies on a bus. And I did not watch anything even mildly entertaining except for Desperate Housewives (for that little bonus, I am thankful). Instead, I got to celebrate Christmas at the nursing home. Is that depressing or what? Plus my husband came down with some weird stomach virus and spent his weekend puking. So I got to deal with his cranky-ass attitude on top of hearing all the moaning and shrieking at the nursing home (make it stop!).

a declaration

i'm hereby declaring the end of a trend. from this point on, nobody can use the term "anyhoo" in lieu of "anyhow." i've decided that this word has an effect on me not unlike ugg boots, that is, it makes me want to throw up in my mouth, saw my leg off with construction paper, etc.... Now, not to sound too harsh, i'm initiating a phase out period. i realize that "anyhoo" has been used by many for many years. i also realize that many people will unknowingly continue to use this word, just like i used to write the wrong year on my school assignments every january. regardless, as of 1-5-04, a moratorium will be placed on the word. g'day.

http://www.ulc.org/

Planet Sick-Boy

And his top ten films of 2004:

BEFORE SUNSET
DOGVILLE
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
THE INCREDIBLES
KILL BILL, VOLUME 2
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
PRIMER
SIDEWAYS
SPIDER-MAN 2

I think I've said it before, but I only agree with him about half the time. And I'd say this list proves that. There is no reason for Dogville, Spider-man 2 or The Motorcycle Diaries to be up there. (And there are a few I haven't seen yet.)

Drunken Weekend, Lotsa O.C.

I had a very drunken weekend, beginning on Thursday with my company's holiday work party. Friday was a down night, and I continued in my quest to watch the complete first season of The O.C. I think I have five episodes left.

Saturday was another drunken night, at two holiday parties. When I was a kid, I never could've imagined how the holidays corelate to alcohol. At least with my friends.

Sunday was catch-up-on-TV night. Saturday Night Live was not that great. There was a potentially-hilarious TV Funhouse involving Santa's refusal to deliver gifts to red states. But there was only one truly funny moment when Santa showed his reindeer a revised map of American and Dumbfuckistan (a joke I saw on the internets around November 4th). Destiny's Child performed, and I really just don't like them.
Arrested Development was, as always, very funny. My favorite moment might have been George Michael's girlfriend Anne's very religious family's creepy Christmas celebration. It was also a nice touch to have all the employees of the Bluth company fired during the holiday party.

Simpsons, I fell asleep during. I'll rewatch tonight.

Desperate Housewives review to come.

more musings on my weekend

so i travelled to phila for a holiday party this weekend. here's the thing: so lawyers should not be allowed to drink....at all. i just want to know at what point in the evening i thought it would be appropriate to tell everyone about my sex life while sipping champaign from a mini-bottle (through a straw). i also told everyone that i like to do tae-bo in my living room wearing a white t-shirt and black socks....and that's it. but i wasn't the only inappropriate soul at this function. oh no, i was cornered by a classmate for an HOUR regarding the possible impropriety of other people at the soiree. the good news is that i managed to clear off an entire bottle of beefeater, and looked good doin' it. i bought a velvet blazer recently and i feel compelled to wear the living fuck out of it because i spent too much on it. but that's neither here nor there.

crazy lady

is anyone else really freaked out by the kansas woman who allegedly killed a missouri woman and then cut a fetus out of her? equally disturbing is the picture of the alleged killer holding what looks like a chihuahua in doggy clothing. this incident is going on my "con" list on reasons to move to kansas.

it is like negative 500 degrees in washington today. the schools are all closed. i couldn't feel my face as i waited for the bus and i think my ipod headphones may have froze to my inner ear.

my weekend

Dan,
I know this is an "entertainment" blog but i figured i'd write about my crazy exploits because i've discovered that my life is way funnier than most tv shows, with the exception of arrested development. so i got pulled over on friday night. i was on my way to illadelphia (for a holliday debaucle, which i'll write about later) fighting dc rush hour traffic and decided to take a calculated risk by turning left onto connecticut ave from nebraska ave. the turn was of course, illegal (like most things in dc), and it follows, that i was pulled over. so i give the po po my license, registration, and insurance, which are all from ohio. trying to play the stupid tourist, i threw on my best midwestern accent (oh gash, officer blah blah) and explained that i didn't see the gigantic neon sign that clearly prohibited a left turn.
turns out i didn't have to be so stupid because apparently my driver's license didn't come up in the ohio registry. that's right. i've been driving for a year now on a license that apparently doesn't exist. so instead of assuming that i'm a terrorist, the office left me with a stern warning.
i've already had 5 hershey minis this morning, and i think i'm going to spit up.

Daredevil

Why do superheroes always fight on rooftops?

Neverland

From AP, busloads of kids visited Michael Jackson's Neverland for the holidays.

Friday's visitors, from six organizations and ranging in age from about 3 or 4 years to their teens, were bused to Neverland and then rode a train up from the parking lot. They included children with special needs from Santa Barbara and some affiliated with the First AME Church in Los Angeles, according to a list of groups issued to reporters. Jackson defense attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. attends the First AME church.

Because if I were an adult in charge of a kids' group, Neverland is where I would take them for Christmas. Everyone's so "friendly" there. Seriously, it'd be safer to take a scenic drive through Compton.

Yes!

The Washington, DC Critics have their say:

Best Film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Director Michel Gondry - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Actor Jamie Foxx - Ray
Best Actress Imelda Staunton - Vera Drake
Best Supporting Actor Jamie Foxx - Collateral
Best Supporting ActressCate Blanchett - The Aviator
Best Acting Ensemble - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Screenplay, OriginalCharlie Kaufman - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Best Screenplay, AdaptedAlexander Payne and Jim Taylor - Sideways
Best Foreign Language Film - Maria Full of Grace
Best Animated Film - The Incredibles
Best Documentary - Fahrenheit 9/11

I agree.

THE OC

Christmakah was celebrated with the Cohen family yesterday evening. Leave it to the OC writers to write such a drama-packed hour of tele. Seth over-invites all the peeps to the Cohen festivities, where Cal confesses he cheated with the only woman who can absolve him of bribery charges. All shit hits fan. Marissa will use this as an excuse to drink more, and as rumor has it, will become a lezzie before the end of the season. god i love this show.

B-52's news

"A fire has gutted the five-room cabin in Athens, Georgia, believed to be the inspiration for The B-52's song "Love Shack." Singer Kate Pierson lived in the cabin in the 1970s. All that's left of the cabin is the burned-out frame and the infamous tin roof."

I'll never forget this song as long as I live..... I wrecked my boyfriend's car while fiddling with the cassette player; which just happened to be playing "Love Shack".

My Favorite Videos....

on iTunes.

The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" - A little Moulin Rouge meets Marilyn Manson

Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - I'm ten years late, but I want to be Billy Joe.

Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" - She does Avril better than Avril does Avril.

Outkast's "GhettoMusick" - It's like someone remixed the actual video!

Excellent!!!

The 1976 AMC Pacer used in the 1992 movie "Wayne's World" is among the items to be sold by an Illinois car museum. Price: $15,000.

If I win the auction, I promise I will ride around in the Pacer singing "Bohemian Rhapsody".

Oscar Race

I am so behind on my movies, it's pathetic. I haven't seen any of the three movies sure to get a best picture nomination: Sideways, The Aviator and Million Dollar Baby.

There are 5 movies vying for slots 4 and 5: Ray, Finding Neverland, Phantom, Hotel Rwanda and Fahrenheit 9/11. My bets go towards Neverland and Rwanda (although I've only seen Neverland and 9/11 here).

Unfortunately, Eternal Sunshine and The Incredibles and Bad Education and Garden State and Before Sunset have no chance. Although Eternal Sunshine and Bad Education (and maybe Before Sunset) will get a writing nod, Incredibles will win best animated feature, and Julie Delpy has a shot at best actress for Before Sunset. The most surprising thing I'm reading is that Tina Fey has a shot at writing for Mean Girls! Go girl!

Made-For-TV Christmas Movies

Does anyone watch these? There are like 84 of them this year. The one I keep hearing about is Snow on ABC Family starring NBC's Ed. Then there's one on NBC called Secret Santa starring 90210's Jennie Garth. The Story of Santa Claus on CBS. Then there's Tony Danza's Stealing Christmas, A Very Cool Christmas with George Hamilton, Karrol's Christmas with Mini-Me, Christmas Everyday, 12 Days of Christmas Eve with Molly Shannon, A Boyfriend for Christmas, The Christmas Box, Christmas in Connecticut, Kathy Ireland's Once Upon a Christmas and the sequel Twice Upon a Christmas (I was just dying for the sequel), I'll Be Home For Christmas starring Home Improvement's JTT, Shelly Long in A Different Kind of Christmas, A Carol Christmas with 90210's Tori Spelling (90210 really has a monopoly on these made-for-TV Xmas movies), Steve Guttenberg in Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus, Santa Junior and Santa Who on USA Network, and.... okay, I think I'm sick of this.

My favorite Made-For-TV Christmas movie, the one I watched all the time as a kid but haven't seen in years because I wore out the VCR tape and I really doubt it's on DVD, is One Magic Christmas. It gets three stars in the Yahoo! TV Guide, which is really good for a Made-For-TV Christmas movie (Roger Ebert only gave it 2 stars, but I think it's because the movie is so depressing for a Christmas movie). It stars Mary Steenburgen as a woman who has lost her Christmas spirit and Harry Dean Stanton as her family's angel Gideon. Everything goes wrong for the family when her husband is shot during a bank heist and her kids are tragically kidnapped and driven over a bridge into a river and drowned. (This being my favorite Christmas movie as a kid might explain my totally dark and depressing DVD collection.) The angel Gideon grants Mary Steenburgen a miracle and the father and kids are brought back to life. Somehow, the daughter goes to the North Pole to meet Santa, the family has a great Christmas, and viola... mommy gets her Christmas spirit back.

I always thought Mary Steenburgen gave an Oscar-worthy performance (hey, I was eight!) and I think the movie deserves to be ranked among A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation as required holiday viewing. Especially for kids whose future DVD collections include Magnolia, Fight Club, Y Tu Mama and Requiem for a Dream.

It's really one of the darkest Christmas movies I've ever seen and worthy of your tivo.

Phew!

Don Johnson can breathe easy again. All the creditors listed on bankruptcy petitions involving the former "Miami Vice" and "Nash Bridges" star have been paid off. Thank god cuz I haven't slept well in ages, fretting over Don's financial situation.

Two Seconds into U2's "Miracle Drug"

0:02 At this point, it becomes clear that the reason Bono never used his famous "Edge has fallen back in love with the guitar for this record" sound bite is because Edge has decidedly not fallen back in love with the guitar for this record. He has, in fact, fallen hard for what we call "keyboards." Taking a page from the Geddy Lee handbook, Edge was tired of only one of his feet doing anything substantive during live shows. To counter his lollygagging, he found a way for one foot to play distortion, while the other plays one of those huge floor keyboards last seen in Tom Hanks' Big. It should be fun to watch him jump around during the tour.

Read the whole dissection of the song... and album here.

And in more Simpson news....

Well sorta.....

"Nick Lachey will star as a baseball player who retires from the game and returns home to his dysfunctional family in an upcoming Fox sitcom, to be written and produced by Etan Cohen (King of the Hill). It's one of several solo projects in the works for Jessica Simpson's hubby, including a new album and a new MTV reality show about his search for a new record label deal. (Tentatively titled The Nick Lachey Project, the MTV show is due in March.) Even with all this alone time, Lachey and Jessica Simpson have denied rumors that their marriage is on the rocks; in fact, a new season of their MTV series Newlyweds premieres next month."

Ashlee Update

I am officially sick of Ashlee Simpson.

Ashlee's dad, "She's going to be a huge movie star. She's like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we're done, she'll play it all."

This is not only presumptuous, but really annoying, too.

Does she have an alias?

Expect Us Weekly to report that Jennifer Garner is preggers.

Give me Showtime now!

Showtime will air Weeds, a new comedy series starring Mary-Louise Parker (who I think is so great) as a responsible housewife, mother and pot dealer living in the suburbs, according to the Hollywood Reporter. She was so great as a loopy Mormon in Angels in America, so I am really looking forward to this.

24

Fox is going to premiere the fourth season of 24 with a two-day, four-hour season premiere Sunday and Monday, Jan. 9 and 10, starting at 8 p.m. I really need to figure out how to tivo one thing and watch another. Or maybe Desperate Housewives will be a re-run. Why do these networks put all the good shows on at once!?

Merry Christmas, FCC

E! Online:

The ladies of ABC's Desperate Housewives, Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Nicolette Sheridan, taping a controversy-free NBA-themed promo that will air Christmas Day during the Miami Heat-Los Angeles Lakers game, according to TV Guide Online.

Thanks to the FCC, no towels will be involved.

Whitney

Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus in Atlanta, but no one was hurt. Unfortunately, she had to get rid of her stash before the cops came.

E!'s Year End Poll

You get your say. How many is too many movies this year... Ben Affleck or Nicole Kidman? Is the best reason for a constitutional ban on celebrity marriage Britney Spears, Nicky Hilton or Britney Spears? Is the precise moment we've had enough of Ashlee Simpson her reality show? Her new hair color? Her album? Her lip-synching? Pretty much from the beginning?

The choices are soooo tough!

Anna and Enrique

I guess they got married. Does this mean that they will move in together and have sex in their own bed instead of on benches in Venice Beach?

Batman Begins

It's very Last Samurai meets Lord of the Rings meets Daredevil. I guess thank God Joel Schumaker is not involved.

Check out the trailer.

Another Year-End Film Award

But these nominations seem very well-rounded. And me like the categories.

BEST PICTURE
The Aviator
Collateral
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Finding Neverland
Hotel Rwanda
Kinsey
Million Dollar Baby
The Phantom of the Opera
Ray
Sideways

ACTOR
Javier Bardem - The Sea Inside
Don Cheadle - Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp - Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
Jamie Foxx - Ray
Paul Giamatti - Sideways

ACTRESS
Annette Bening - Being Julia
Catalina Sandino Moreno - Maria Full of Grace
Imelda Staunton - Vera Drake
Hilary Swank - Million Dollar Baby
Uma Thurman - Kill Bill: Vol. 2
Kate Winslet - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Thomas Haden Church - Sideways
Jamie Foxx - Collateral
Morgan Freeman - Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen - Closer
Peter Sarsgaard - Kinsey

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett - The Aviator
Laura Linney - Kinsey
Virginia Madsen - Sideways
Natalie Portman - Closer
Kate Winslet - Finding Neverland

ACTING ENSEMBLE
Closer
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Ocean's Twelve
Sideways

DIRECTOR
Clint Eastwood - Million Dollar Baby
Marc Forster - Finding Neverland
Taylor Hackford - Ray
Alexander Payne - Sideways
Martin Scorsese - The Aviator

WRITER
Bill Condon - Kinsey
Charlie Kaufman - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
John Logan - The Aviator
David Magee - Finding Neverland
Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor - Sideways

ANIMATED FEATURE
The Incredibles
The Polar Express
Shrek 2

YOUNG ACTOR
Liam Aiken - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Cameron Bright - Birth
Freddie Highmore - Finding Neverland
Daniel Radcliffe - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
William Ullrich - Beyond the Sea

YOUNG ACTRESS
Emily Browning - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Dakota Fanning - Man on Fire
Lindsay Lohan - Mean Girls
Emmy Rossum - The Phantom of the Opera
Emma Watson - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

POPULAR MOVIE
The Bourne Supremacy
The Incredibles
Napoleon Dynamite
The Passion of the Christ
Spider-Man 2

FAMILY FILM (live action)
Finding Neverland
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Miracle
Spider-Man 2

PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
The Five People You Meet in Heaven
The Life and Death of Peter SellersS
omething the Lord Made
The Wool Cap

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
House of Flying Daggers
Maria Full of Grace
The Motorcycle Diaries
The Sea Inside
A Very Long Engagement

SONG
Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows
Believe - Josh Groban
Old Habits Die Hard - Mick Jagger and Dave Stewart

SOUNDTRACK
Alfie
Beyond the Sea
De-Lovely
Garden State
Ray

COMPOSER
Michael Giacchino - The Incredibles
Rolfe Kent - Sideways
Howard Shore - The Aviator

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Control Room
Fahrenheit 9/11
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
Super-Size Me

Top Videos of 2004

Rolling Stone's list, with links:

1. Britney Spears - "My Prerogative"
2. Eminem - "Just Lose It"
3. Usher/Alicia Keys - "My Boo"
4. Avril Lavigne - "My Happy Ending"
5. Black Eyed Peas - "Hey Mama"
6. Fabolous - "Breathe (Rolling Stone Original)"
7. Chingy - "Balla Baby"
8. Simple Plan - "Welcome To My Life"
9. Jadakiss - "Why (Rolling Stone Original)"
10. Korn - "Word Up"
11. Ciara - "Goodies"
12. Destiny’s Child - "Lose My Breath"
13. Evanescence - "Everybody's Fool"
14. Linkin Park - "Lying From You"
15. Bowling For Soup - "1985"
16. U2 - "Vertigo"
17. Hoobastank - "The Reason"
18. Yellowcard - "Only One"
19. Jay-Z/Linkin Park - "Numb/Encore"
20. Gwen Stefani - "What You Waiting For"

I have to admit, I don't know if I agree. There isn't much of a chance to catch videos on TV anymore. I am surprised Eminem's "Mosh" video isn't up there. And why is Britney #1?

TV Guide's Top 10 of 2004

1. Lost
2. The Sopranos
3. FX (The Shield, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me)
4. Arrested Development
5. Desperate Housewives
6. The Amazing Race
7. Curb Your Enthusiasm
8. Without a Trace
9. Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars
10. 24

OK, I mostly agree with this guy. What is he doing at TV Guide??

Tara Reid, please sit down

She's doing such a great job cleaning up her image. From Stuff:

“I love to drive fast, and I’ve been lucky, because I’ve never really been pulled over. Recently, I was driving my Porsche convertible on this empty freeway, and this cop pulls next to me. I think, Shit. I’m gonna get a ticket. And he asks, ‘How fast can you burn?’ And I say, ‘Maybe 100.’ I wasn’t sure how to answer, you know? Then he says “Do you want to go faster?” and he just let me go to the end of the freeway as fast as I wanted. I went 130.”

“Don’t get me wrong — I love to dance on a table every once in a while. I like to work hard and play hard. Fun and I go hand-in-hand.”

[I haven't seen much work, lately, Tara.]

“I am such a Jersey girl. I am totally cheesy at heart. I’m gaudy; I like wearing tchotchke jewelry; I like cheesy guido music.”

Nice. So classy.

I Heart Real World Previews

So the last episode was not so good (and slightly depressing, Sarah). But the previews for the rest of the season look fan-freakin-tastic!

- During a dance-floor threesome, Big Willie says, "I'm bad, but I'm not as bad as I wanna be"
- The cops make a surprise visit to the RR house
- Melanie gets scabies (Karamo, "who has that in 2004, seriously")
- They go to Fiji and a) MJ is naked b) Shavonda and Landon get busy and c) Sarah hooks up with a Euro-boy and Melanie doesn't seem too happy about it. Which is such a surprise because she's usually so happy about everything (sarcasm)
- Melanie calls home because her roommates hate her (and she has scabies)
- Landon has a knife and is threatening a roommate

I'll be tunin' in!

Million Dollar Baby

This may be the first boxing movie I've wanted to see since 1980 (although I didn't really want to see Raging Bull when I was three).

I Challenge You to a Duel

Georgia's outgoing Senator Zell Miller, who butted heads with MSNBC's Chris Matthews during the Republican National Convention, has been signed by Fox News Channel as a regular contributor.

This is really no surprise and gives me one less reason to watch Fox News.

What the hell?

"A judge refused to delay a trial Tuesday when an attorney objected to his wearing a judicial robe with the Ten Commandments embroidered on the front in gold. Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan showed up Monday at his Covington County courtroom in southern Alabama wearing the robe. Attorneys who try cases at the courthouse said they had not seen him wearing it before. The commandments were described as being big enough to read by anyone near the judge. Attorney Riley Powell, defending a client charged with DUI, filed a motion objecting to the robe and asking that the case be continued. He said McKathan denied both motions.

McKathan told The Associated Press that he believes the Ten Commandments represent the truth "and you can't divorce the law from the truth. ... The Ten Commandments can help a judge know the difference between right and wrong." He said he doesn't believe the commandments on his robe would have an adverse effect on jurors. Powell said if he loses his case, he expects the judge's wearing of the Ten Commandments robe to be part of an appeal. "

The case raised comparisons to former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, who was removed from office in 2003 for refusing to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the rotunda of the Alabama Judicial Building in Montgomery. Moore said Tuesday he supports McKathan's decision to wear the Ten Commandments robe. "I applaud Judge McKathan. It is time for our judiciary to recognize the moral basis of our law," Moore said.

What the hell is wrong with these Alabama judges? Could someone just take a Bible and whap them up side the head please?

Get Lost

Don't forget.... special re-broadcast of the first two episodes of Lost. Two hours of pure excitement will commence at 8pm tonight. Now is the time to set those VCR's or Tivo's and revisit everything you thought you knew about the show.

Maybe now all the theories and what-iffing will start to make sense. Or, maybe not.

Arrested Development

I can't get over the mom using her "rape horn" to come onto her husband's brother.

Are you sick of this, yet?

Toronto Film Critics Association:

Best Film: Sideways

I Hate Blockbuster Less

Blockbuster will announce today that starting Jan. 1 it will still set due dates—one week for games and two days or a week for movies—but that it will give customers a one-week grace period at no additional charge.

Survivor stuff

On Sunday, December 19th at 8pm, the E! channel airs the True Hollywood Story of "Survivor"., if you are so inclined to watch. I am a Survivor junky so it will definitely be put on the Tivo list.

If you're really addicted, head on over to Eonline and take the Survivor quiz. I scored 8 out of 10.

http://www.eonline.com/On/Holly/Shows/Survivor/index2.html

Best of....

It's that time of year when all the channels start rehashing 2004. VH1 is airing "Best Of Best Week Ever" on Friday, December 17th at 11pm. Just in case you want to schedule it in your Tivo to-do list.

Wickedly Perfect

"Emmy Award-winning journalist Joan Lunden hosts WICKEDLY PERFECT, a new reality show that pits 12 people with a creative knack for the finer things in life in a no-holds-barred competition to crown the country's new authority on at-home living. These perfection-obsessed contestants, whose motto is "anything you can do, I can do better," will compete in different areas of beautifying the home and entertaining, including party planning, gardening, cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, floral arranging and decorating. In addition to chronicling the sometimes funny, sometimes factious relationships that develop among the tightly wound, extremely competitive participants, each week a contestant will be eliminated from their luxurious estate located in New England. Renowned chef and restaurateur Bobby Flay (Mesa Grill), Emmy Award-nominated stylist David Evangelista ("The Rosie O'Donnell Show") and best-selling author Candace Bushnell ("Sex and the City" and "Trading Up") will serve as judges.
The winner will receive numerous prizes, including six appearances on "The Early Show" on CBS, a development deal for a lifestyle-oriented television show and a publishing deal with Atria Books, a division of premier publisher Simon & Schuster. Don't miss the start of this exciting new reality show, premiering January 6th at 8:00PM ET/PT, only on CBS. "

Oooohhh.... get ready for the cat fights, folks!! Too bad Martha's in jail. She'd kick ass.

I Knew It!

There was something funny about Lindsay showing up on SNL when Colin was hosting. Page Six:

Colin Farrell spent last weekend sniffing around teen queen Lindsay Lohan. The Irish wolfhound sipped double Johnnie Walker Blacks on the rocks while huddling with Lohan at Marquee Friday night, ignoring fellow celebs Chris Rock, Adam Sandler and Owen Wilson. Farrell left Lohan at about 2:30 a.m. to hit Nur Khan's birthday bash at Hiro, where he ogled supermodel sibs Frankie and Missy Rayder on the dance floor. But the next night, after hosting "Saturday Night Live," Farrell partied at Compass and Viscaya with Lohan and assorted cast members until 7 a.m. Doesn't this girl have a curfew?

DeGeneres and De Rossi

Apparently Ellen and Portia are living together.

Teri Hatcher on Eva not getting a GG nod

I haven't spoken to Eva yet, but she's young. She's beautiful. She's got a movie with Michael Douglas. I mean, she's good. And she'll get plenty of these, I know it, years later. And I'll be dead, so there!

More FCC

Nearly a month after it's broadcast, FCC chairman Michael Powell recommending his agency dismiss indecency complaints against ABC television stations for airing Saving Private Ryan on Veteran's Day last month.

It only took a month? Why couldn't he say this BEFORE it aired?

Fox TV

Fox planning to debut "Who's Your Daddy?," a reality game show in which adopted contestants must try and figure which one of eight men is their real father, as a 90-minute special Monday, Jan. 3.

This is suprisingly classy from the network that brought you "Who Wants To Marry A Midget?"

One Ring to Rule Them All

The darned best movie in a long time is now on DVD! The special extended edition four-disc DVD of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King hits stores today along with an extended trilogy box set as well.

Queer Eye Christmas

This is the cutest episode ever! The five (FIVE!) kids the couple has are adorable.

And Carson, unfortunately, gives new meaning to hung stockings.

More Proof That Elton Heads the Gay Mafia

Associated Press:

In an open letter to Heat magazine, released Tuesday, Michael accused John of spreading unsubstantiated gossip picked up on the "gay grapevine.

In comments published last month, John, 57, told Heat that "George is in a strange place. There seems to be a deep-rooted unhappiness in his life and it shows on the (latest) album. All I would say to George is: you should get out more."

Michael, 41, said he and John were not close, and that he had kept his distance because "I was always aware that Elton's circle of friends was the busiest rumor mill in town, and that respect for my privacy was not exactly guaranteed."

"And to this day, most of what Elton thinks he knows about my life is pretty much limited to the gossip he hears on what you would call the `gay grapevine' which, as you can imagine, is lovely stuff indeed," Michael added. "Other than that, he knows that I don't like to tour, that I smoke too much pot, and that my albums still have a habit of going to number one.

F the FCC (Part II)

The FCC is investigating the Opening Ceremonies to the Athens Olympics. Remember those men dressed up as Greek statues? Well, someone complained because the costumes included the statues' cocks. Although they were COSTUMES, not actual cocks. In addition, some family organization (I hate most of them) actually awarded the Olympics for being the best family-friendly special in 2004. So someone doesn't like seeing an interpretation of ancient Greek art and the history of the Olympics on display and the FCC investigates. Welcome to Bush country. I'm red just for embarassment. (By the way, there was probably only one complaint, according to a source.)

GG for the Housewives

Poor Eva Longoria. She's like the Kristen Davis of Desperate Housewives, watching the rest of the cast get nominations for all the awards but sitting them out. I am glad the three leading ladies got GG noms, and I guess I'm glad for Nicolette Sheridan, although I wouldn't call what she does on the show "outstanding."

CBS vs. ABC

Actually, Survivor vs. Desperate Housewives. And Desperate Housewives wins! Take that, Jeff Probst.

No Kidding

Nikki Kidman quit the film version of "The Producers." I don't want to sound like a frat boy, but doesn't the character she was to play have a big rack? And Nikki's not really known for a sense of humor. I think this is a good move.

David Ansen's Bottom 10

The Village (I couldn't help it and looked up the ending on the internets. Fascinating, but apparently he blew it)
Van Helsing
Alexander (does this mean Baz Luhrmann gave up on his version?)
The Alamo
Dogville (I seriously watched 12 minutes of this 188-minute movie and turned it off)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Silver City
A Very Long Engagement (this must be on the wrong list, right?)
The Terminal (compared to expectations, yes this movie deserves to be on the worst list. Compared to other movies in 2004, it doesn't)
De-Lovely

David Ansen from Newsweek

Top Ten (with my commentary):

Sideways (d'uh)
Before Sunset (I loved this movie)
Osama
Million Dollar Baby (this still looks like just another "boxing movie" to me)
Bad Education
The Aviator
Friday Night Lights (I guess this is now officially a rental)
The Manchurian Candidate (same)
Harry Potter (I'd rather see Spider-man 2 here)
Kinsey

S.F. Film Critics Circle

Bored yet? Another win for Sideways.

Best Picture
Sideways

Best Director
Alexander Payne for Sideways

Best Actor
Paul Giamatti for Sideways

Best Actress
Julie Delpy for Before Sunset

Best Supporting Actor
Thomas Haden Church for Sideways

Best Supporting Actress
Virginia Madsen for Sideways

Best Foreign Language Film
Maria Full of Grace

Best Documentary
Fahrenheit 9/11

Yet More Awards

Welcome to the end of the year.... most critics have been fairly consistent this year! Big year for indies.

Boston Film Critics:

Best Film
Sideway
Runner-up: Before Sunset

Best Foreign Language Film
House of Flying Daggers
Runner-up: Very Long Engagement

Best Director
Zhang Yimou (House of Flying Daggers)
Runner-up: Alexander Payne

Best Documentary
Control Room
Runner-up: Touching the Void

Best Actor
Jamie Foxx, Ray
Runner-up: Paul Giamatti

Best Actress
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
Runner-up: Annette Bening/Kim Basinger (tie)

Best Supporting Actor
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Runner-up: Clive Owen

Best Supporting Actress
Laura Dern and Sharon Warren (tie)
Runner-up: Cate Blanchett (Aviator)

(Not so) Rockin' New Years

Regis will fill in for Dick Clark. Way to invigorate this program with some much-needed youth.

Rock Hall

This year's inductees are pretty solid.

U2
Pretenders
O'Jays
Percy Sledge
Buddy Guy

I guess you really don't have to do rock 'n roll to be a member.

Top Tours of 2004

Madonna with $125 million. She sold out 55 of 56 performances. Too bad her album sold like 9 copies.

Prince is second with $90 million. 1.5 million people saw this tour. Wow!

The rest:
Shania Twain
Simon & Garfunkel
Metallica
Bette Midler
Sting
Kenny Chesney
David Bowie
Toby Keith

I want to be a country star or an 80s pop star.

More Awards

AFI Movies of the Year (listed alphabetically):

The Aviator
Collateral
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Friday Night Lights
The Incredibles
Kinsey
Maria Full of Grace
Million Dollar Baby
Sideways
Spider-Man 2

OK, interesting collection of movies there.

The L.A. Film Critics Awards:

Picture: Sideways; runner-up: Million Dollar Baby
Director: Alexander Payne, Sideways; runner-up: Martin Scorsese, The Aviator
Actress: Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake; runner-up: Julie Delpy, Before Sunset
Actor: Liam Neeson, Kinsey; runner-up: Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Screenplay: Sideways by Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor; runner-up: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by Charlie Kaufman
Supporting Actress: Virginia Madsen, Sideways; runner-up: Cate Blanchett, The Aviator and Coffee & Cigarettes
Supporting Actor: Thomas Haden Church, Sideways; runner-up: Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby

Those Pesky Globes

I like when they get it (at least partly) right:

Best Picture (Drama):
The Aviator
Closer
Finding Neverland
Hotel Rwanda
Kinsey
Million Dollar Baby

Best Picture (Comedy or Musical):
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Incredibles
The Phantom of the Opera
Ray
Sideways

Best TV Series Drama:
24
Deadwood
Lost
Nip/Tuck
The Sopranos

Best TV Series Comedy:
Arrested Development
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
Sex and the City
Will & Grace

Good stuff. No Robin Williams in Patch Adams this year. Check out the full list.

NY Critics

New York Film Critics Circle gives:

Best Picture: Sideways
Best Actor: Paul Giamatti, Sideways
Best Actress: Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Best Supporting Actor: Clive Owen, Closer
Best Supporting Actress: Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Best Director: Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Best Screenplay: Sideways, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor
Best Cinematographer: Christopher Doyle, Hero
Best Foreign Film: Bad Education
Best Nonfiction Film: Fahrenheit 9/11
Best Animated Film: The Incredibles
Best First Film: Maria Full of Grace

Back from Mammoth

After a weekend in Mammoth that included my back going out, a flat tire, and my friend's sprained ankle, I am back in business.

I got one word: Mullet

Maybe it was just me, but did anyone else catch Twila's mullet on the Survivor reunion show last night? Oh, and by the way, Chris won the million bucks. I myself cannot get past that mullet. Damn it was beautiful!

Everything about Survivor is becoming like a bad cartoon. The incessant eye-rolling during tribal councils, the cheap shots at the contestants, the hurt feelings (c'mon people... it's a GAME!), Jeff Probst bush-whacking his way from Tribal Council, parachuting to LA and zipping away on a motorcycle with votes in tow (huh?). And what's up with that stupid stroll down memory lane and obligatory nice comment about fellow contestants who are long gone? Let's have more time with the reunion show!! More fights! More snide comments! More mullets!!

I must say there are some out there who didn't feel Chris deserved to win. I say both he and Twila were equally deserving. They both lied and bluffed their way to the end. But, when all was said and done it was the ponytail vs. the mullet and although the mullet has made a startling comeback as of late, it apparently has not won over the classic ponytail look.

The 3 hour saga ended with Probst previewing the next installment of Survivor. Which of course promises all sorts of twists from anything we've ever seen before. Maybe it will be 20 players, all with mullets. We can hope!

Survivor-Final Four

Let's just preface this by saying I have not watched last night's episode, but I have read quite a few summaries, so here we go.....
Final Four are: Chris, Twila, Eliza and Scout.

If Scout wins, I will refuse to ever watch another episode.The woman is completely useless in any form of competition and does not deserve to win a million dollars. No matter how clever she thought she was, or how many others she thought she had under her spell, she does not warrant anyone's vote. Excuse me while I step off my soapbox.....

Next we have Twila. She's an awfully good strategizer and has lied just like everyone else does in this game. Her problem is that she doesn't know when to stop and with the latest shenanigan of burying the bananas, I'm pretty well convinced that SHE is bananas. She's still the most entertaining of the bunch (ha! ha! get it???) but she's also pissed a lot of people off. She'll be fun to watch at the final council. If she goes up against Eliza, the vote will be too close for me to predict. If she goes up against Chris, she'll lose.

Eliza. Sweet little thing with the mouth that never stops. Annoying yes. Deserving of the million dollars? Possibly. She's got the vote of the women, 'cept Scout or Twila, depending on who wins immunity. Plus, she's a real go-getter on challenges, no matter if they're physical or mental. But again, her big mouth could get her into trouble and ruin her chances of winning.

And finally, Chris. The Last Man Standing. I'm still amazed that even with his inability to walk on a balance beam, he's made it this far. How the hell did that happen? He should have gone home in episode one! But lately I am not impressed with his gloating. He's been lucky that the women were wrapped up in their cat-fighting and forgot he needed sent home. If they had stopped clawing for a moment they would have noticed him and got rid of him. But, with all that said, I still think he is quite clever and has an outstanding chance of winning.

Tune into CBS on Sunday at 8pm for the big finale, followed by the one hour reunion show. (guess I'll be taping Desperate Housewives!)

Another Take on Lost

From Television Without Pity (its readers gave the episode an A-):

It's Role Reversal Week on Craphole Island! Once Sayid was a torturer; now he's repentant. Once Kate was useless; now she's a trained tracker. Once Locke was a crazy-eyed loon; now he's the calm voice of reason. Once Jack was the responsible, level-headed leader of the castaways; now he plunges headlong into danger, risking the lives of others. Once Walt was bad at backgammon; now he's a tournament-caliber player. Once Ethan was an anonymous Red Shirt guy; now he's evil. Once Boone was God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity; now he's God's Friggin' Gift to Wedding Planning. Once the island was made of rocks; now it's made of steel. And, finally, once, Charlie was alive; now he's dead. Oh wait, now he's alive again.

Oscar Update

The front runners, according to Movie City News, are:

Million Dollar Baby
The Aviator
The Phantom of the Opera
Sideways
Ray
Finding Neverland
Fahrenheit 9/11

Meanwhile, those illustrious Golden Globe nominations will be announced Monday morning.

Top Paid Actresses

Makes me wish I was an actress:

$20 million
Julia and Cameron

$15 million
Nikki Kidman, Reese and Drew

$14 million
Halle

$12-15 million
Angelina and Sandra

$12 million
J. Lo and Renee

The New World

Also the prettiest movie about the year 1607 ever!

You Think You Know Musicals, eh?

Test your knowledge. I got a 6 out of 10. Not bad for seeing about 3 of the movies.

What to Watch

Here you go Jen,

Friday's Best bet in sports: HBO, "Reverse of the Curse of the Bambino," 8 p.m. When HBO started filming this documentary, the Red Sox were still cursed. But the story ends happily, as we all know.

Sunday's Best bet on cable: Disney, "Twinkle’s Star," 7:30 p.m. Higglytown makes it on the map when an animated elf pays a visit to one of the town’s residents, Twinkle, and makes him into Santa’s helper.

[Sounds like the gayest Christmas story ever.]

Also...

Friday on MTV, "Jammed," 9 p.m. See Bono & Co. strut their stuff in honor of U2’s recent album release.

Saturday on ABC, "“Wonderful World of Disney: Naughty or Nice," 8 p.m. George Lopez learns the hard way that it’s better to be naughty than nice. At least if you want gifts from Santa.

[Sounds dirrrty. Christina Aguilera dirrrrty.]

And of course Desperate Housewives on Sunday!!

Organize Your Movie Viewing?

I found a great site called cin-o-matic. It allows you to see average critical ratings for films, rate them yourself, add them to your netflix queue, and basically organize how you want to see movies. I am already addicted.

My Next Gadget?

I am a gadget whore. The one thing I've been reluctant to buy is XM Radio. Everyone that gets it raves, but I just don't drive very often. But now they are selling it with some iPod-type device, and I think I need one. Check it out...

Sad Day in Columbus, Ohio

From E!:

A man opened fire onstage Wednesday night at a packed heavy-metal show for the rock band Damageplan in Columbus, Ohio, killing guitarist Darrel Abbot--a former member of '90s headbanger band Pantera--and two other men, before a security guard shot the assailant to death.

This is very sad for metal fans (sorry Josh!). Too bad it had to happen in my hometown.

The song's not the only thing that's Toxic

Britney Spears took her shoes off on an airplane and the other passengers complained to the flight attendants that they stunk. Maybe less barefoot gas station visits?

Two New Trailers - Must See

Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka? (Or is it Michael Jackson?)

War of the Worlds

Both creepy for very different reasons.

TV

I'm still on The O.C. (although I managed to catch Lost). So no new updates for me. I'm so glad it's Chrismukkah season!

Bush Cabinet vs. ER

Which cast changes quicker?

From a U2 Website

Answer Guy Dismantles U2 Song by Song

I've finally finished recounting the ballots in Ohio's Cuyahoga County and can now get back to the business of U2. Thanks to VH1.com and some rudimentary MP3 recording software, I had the CD for about a week before it "dropped." Due to the poor quality of both the MP3s and my stock Honda CD player, I always had to start listening at the beginning of the disk with "Vertigo," so I am proportionally sicker of songs towards the beginning of the album than I am of the ones at the end. I've heard "Miracle Drug" 15 more times than "Yahweh."

Then on "Super Tuesday," I was at my local big box store to pick up the deluxe CD/DVD/finger-painting book, which is so avant garde as to not include lyrics. I have purposely not read any other reviews on the album. I also am terrible at hearing the right words. For example, the opening line of "Bennie and the Jets," a song I first heard in 1973, goes something like this: "hey kids, sittin' in the river." Or perhaps Bono's most stunning lyric: "it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, Shamu, the mysterious whale." Your mileage may vary.

1. Vertigo.

0:00 As usual, Larry hogs the spotlight by clicking the countdown.

0:05 Unos, Dos, Tres, Catorce. It takes exactly ten seconds for Bono to say something that we'll have to defend to non-fans. I got this question just last night. Why 1, 2, 3, 14? You might quiet these people by saying that it's something "God-related." That's usually a safe bet with Bono's lyrics.

0:12 "Oh Captain, my Captain!" Larry reciting Walt Whitman? These guys are incredibly well-read. I'm getting the feeling I've heard this song somewhere before. It would make a great advertising jingle. If only the right product could be found to pair it with. I'm seeing a woman with a huge afro and white things coming out of her ears. Good guitar jam. Not only is this a great album kickoff, but it will be a great concert kickoff.

0:24 "lights go down, it's dark"? Thank you Captain Obvious.

0:33 Word Count "Soul": One.

0:37 The band can wave hello as they come onstage. Perhaps they'll be a "Trippy Vertigo Remix" that they'll play over the loudspeakers. A version we'll never be able to find. This part seems almost perfectly designed. First the band will say "hello", then we in the crowd can yell "Hola!" It's like mind control. We're defenseless against the powers of Bono's suggestion. They might as well have called this song "Hello Cleveland". Perhaps they'll change the words for each venue: "Hello, Tacoma, I'm at a place called Tacoma Dome-rain falls down and all I know is the sound, in here, is unreal-unreaaall." All the Bono wannabees can sing along with "feel".

1:00 "as bullets rip the sky". Bono finds his lyric journal from the Unforgettable Fire era.

1:22 at this point during the show, all your friends who don't really know the songs will be able to sing along with the "oh, oh", just like they do during WOWYou and AIWIYou. They'll be the ones in the heart when you couldn't get in. They'll be the ones who got in for free because they work for a cellphone company. At least you've got them beaten lyrically.

1:55 This would generally be considered a "guitar solo", which in this case means Edge playing four notes over and over again.

2:09 Instead of singing along with "all of this..." substitute the following: "there's a place I go when I am far away", because it's from 1980. At this point U2 is hoping that the young fans don't know "Stories For Boys."

2:37 "I can feel your love teaching me how owow owow". This is a Bono trademark. Dragging a word out longer than necessary. He lifted this from Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats "...and there's no doing anything abow owow owow it!" Rum Tum Bono is a curious cat, and there isn't any need to doubt it, indeed.

2:50 Word Count "Kneel": One.

2:54 Word Count "Kneel": Two.

Tomorrow: "Miracle Drug"

All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

So this week's eppy of Lost finds them trying to hunt down Charlie and Claire. Locke, Boone, Jack and Kate are all involved in tracking the abducted. They find Charlie's finger tape, as if he was leaving a trail of breadcrumbs. Conjecture amongst the group whether it was done by Charlie or done as a way of throwing them off track. They decide to split up. Locke and Boone leave a trail of red shirts with Boone referencing Star Trek episodes and the meaning of red shirts. What could it mean????

Kate & Jack have a moment when Jack wants her to tell him something real. She tells him something real even though in an earlier episode he tells her that the past doesn't matter. Make up your mind Jack! Geesh! So then Jack supposedly hears a scream. Kate doesn't. Does this mean Jack is hallucinating again? What could it mean? So basically Jack falls and Ethan springs from nowhere to beat the living crap out of Jack and threatens to kill Charlie. Where's Kate? Is Jack still hallucinating? Has he been getting into the stash of drugs? And why are we being subjected to more Jack flashbacks when we got nothing on Walt, Vincent, Boone, Shannon or Hurley? I'm getting impatient here folks!

Jack & Kate continue on their journey to locate the abducted. They are shocked to find Charlie hanging from a tree. Miraculously Kate manages to cut him down and Jack performs another miracle by bringing Charlie back to life (cuz back in his doctor practicing days he let a pregnant woman die, so he couldn't possibly let Charlie die). Now, how the heck did Charlie get strung up there? Ethan couldn't have possibly done it himself. So does that mean the "others" did it? Are the creatures on the island able to walk/fly through the tree tops. What could it all mean?

Back at the beach, Hurley and Walt are playing backgammon. There's that pesky black and white theme again. Whenever Walt tosses the dice, he gets the exact combination he needs. What could it mean? Is Hurley who he really portrays himself to be? Do we know for a fact he was on that plane? What if he is just saying Ethan wasn't on the manifest??? Is Walt a serial killer in disguise? I mean, he did say something about his stepdad being dead. And, what about Vincent? Where has he been? And that brings me to another question..... where the heck is Rose??? Did she sit on the beach so long she actually sank into the ocean? Too many damn questions and not enough answers I say!!

So, at the end Boone and Locke accidently discover a metal box of some sort. Coffin? Prison? Hidden lair? Room? What could it be? What could it mean? One thing's for sure, next week they are re-playing the first two episodes. That should give us all time to reflect, analyze and pick apart the show and perhaps shed light on how these characters are connected or why they are on this island.

Salute to Hamm

Mia Hamm has retired. But, her legacy, class and competitive spirit will long live on in her fans around the world. Kudos to her for being a stand-up athlete and shining example to our kids, especially our daughters. For her, it was never about the fame and fortune. I only wish other pro athletes would take note.

So long, Mia. You're an amazing woman!

The Rivers' are back

"Joan and Melissa Rivers are returning to red carpet duty starting with next month's Golden Globes, a job they were shut out of during this year's Emmy Awards because of a contractual tangle. The mother-daughter tandem say they are more than ready to dish it out to the stars. "I think it will be notched up just because the energy is going to be so amazing," Joan Rivers said on Tuesday. She missed covering this year's Emmy Awards when she and her daughter jumped from E! Entertainment Television to TV Guide Channel."

Hmmmm..... Joan and Melissa were missing from the Emmy Awards? I hadn't noticed.

The O.C. Part II

I'm watching Season One about a year after everyone else has. But I'm totally addicted. A couple thoughts:

- It's Queer As Folk with no gay people and much less sex (and nudity)
- The law firm Sandy works for.... is it really just two people there?
- Summer is funny as hell
- Mischa is so cute, but too skinny
- Kirsten is a mix between Holly Hunter and Laura Linney
- They didn't consider age when casting (Mischa is 18, her mom is 35, Tate is 40, Adam Brody is 25)
- The music is really good
- I am going to stay up late to watch the next episode

12 episodes since Sunday. Yeah!

F'in Blockbuster

There's a reason I hate Blockbuster. Actually, several reasons.

1. They censor or do not carry movies that are not rated (this includes family films that happen to be released as NR)
2. They have a shitty selection of independent and foreign films
3. They have a monopoly and charge way too much

Add to this:

4. They do not carry enough television DVDs, which are really taking off now.

I went to Blockbuster to rent The O.C. Disc 2. They didn't have it. Not even to buy. So Tower Records gets my money, bitches!

TV Gossip

Colin Farrel will guest-star on Scrubs.

Did you know that evil Ethan on Lost is Tom Cruise's cousin? There is a rumor he is the evil French woman's lost son, Alex.

24 begins with a walk of shame... by Keifer Sutherland's character!

Martin Short is guest starring on Arrested Development as Lucille's former 90-year-old love interest.

Evil Melissa (Lauren Reed) will probably be returning to Alias in some way or another.

And in 80's News

Motley Crue is going on tour! The 60-city tour, starting in February, will feature their greatest hits plus a few new songs.

Billy Idol is releasing an album of all-new songs! March 22nd. I saw him in concert a little over a year ago, and he can still kick some ass.

The Aviator

It's getting awesome early reviews. Two of my friends saw a Q&A with Mr. Scorsese and both cannot wait to see the film. They didn't even see the film, but were amazed at the amount of artistry that the director put into the film. And what they told me confirms that he is truly a film historian (using old color techniques to represent the time that the story is being told in, etc.).

Can't wait.

Do the Grammies Rock?

I'm not sure. This year's nominees seem even more random than usual. Fortunately, there are no Steely Dan out-of-left-field nominees (that would probably end up winning the thing). But there's an awful lot of Ray Charles. I haven't heard his album, but I bet the nominations have way more to do with him dying than his artistry. And I am totally sick of Usher. Totally sick of him. Here is a sample:

Record of the Year:
Let's Get It Started - The Black Eyed Peas
Here We Go Again - Ray Charles & Norah Jones
American Idiot - Green Day
Heaven - Los Lonely Boys
Yeah! - Usher Featuring Lil Jon & Ludacris

Album Of The Year:
Genius Loves Company - Ray Charles & Various Artists
American Idiot - Green Day
The Diary Of Alicia Keys - Alicia Keys
Confessions - Usher
The College Dropout - Kanye West

Song Of The Year:
Daughters - John Mayer, songwriter (John Mayer)
If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys, songwriter (Alicia Keys)
Jesus Walks - C. Smith & Kanye West, songwriters (Kanye West)
Live Like You Were Dying - Tim Nichols & Craig Wiseman, songwriters (Tim McGraw)
The Reason - Daniel Estrin & Douglas Robb, songwriters (Hoobastank)

It is nice to see Ryan Adams, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, Velvet Revolver, Brian Wilson, Modest Mouse, U2, PJ Harvey, Wilco and N.E.R.D. get some major category nominations.

See a full list.

America

The book. Won best book of the year by Publishers Weekly. I guess this is a big deal. From AP:

In announcing the award Monday, Publishers Weekly called the book "a serious critique of the two-party system, the corporations that finance it and the 'spineless cowards in the press' who 'aggressively print allegation and rumor independent of accuracy and fairness.'

Stewart's book was released in September and immediately topped best-seller lists even as Wal-Mart declined to stock the book, citing a page featuring the faces of the nine Supreme Court justices superimposed over naked bodies. The page facing the nude photos has cutouts of the justices' robes, complete with a caption asking readers to "restore their dignity by matching each justice with his or her respective robe."

I guess Walmart proved the point they were trying to make in the book.

The O.C.

Welcome to the O.C., bitch!

This might be my new favorite show. Not season 2, but season 1. I rented it on Netflix and watched the first four episodes in a row. I usually don't like giving money to Blockbuster, but I can't wait for the next four episodes, so I'm going after work at 5.

Cheesiest Lines

According to a U.K. survey, the cheesiest movie lines of all time (or I guess the last ten years?):

1. "Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio's "I'm the king of the world!"
2. "Dirty Dancing": Patrick Swayze's "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."
3. "Four Weddings And A Funeral": Andie McDowell's "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed."
3. "Ghost": Demi Moore's "Ditto." to Patrick Swayze's "I love you."
5. "Top Gun": Val Kilmer to Tom Cruise: "You can be my wingman anytime"
6. "Notting Hill": Julia Roberts' "I'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her."
7. "Independence Day": Bill Pullman's "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
8. "Braveheart": Mel Gibson's "They may take our lives, but they will not take our freedom!"
9. "Jerry Maguire": Renee Zellweger to Tom Cruise: "You had me at hello."
10. "The Postman": A blind woman says to Kevin Costner: "You're a godsend, a savior." He replies: "No, I'm a postman."

I agree with Dirty Dancing, but isn't that what makes the movie great? And I'm surprised enough people even saw (or remember) the Postman to have it included on this list.

Arrested Development

Funniest.Show.Ever.

Although this was one of the weaker episodes (tends to happen when a show has too much plot for just one episode), it did have some truly hilarious moments.

- Buster, whose family thinks he's going to Iraq but he's not even in the army, comes to his father's funeral in "regulation miltary uniform" that his brother Gob got him. He looks like Liza Minelli in Caberet.

- Lindsay attends the funeral in a shirt that says "SLUT" since she's trying to hit on the bounty hunter slash caterer (Ice).

- Gob tries to get into "POOF," which happens to be a magazine for magicians and not the new gay guy in the office.

Simpsons

How is this show one of the funniest on TV after so many years? I don't have an answer, but I'm glad it's still on the air.

This country is not red...

According to MediaWeek, 99.9% of the FCC complaints in 2004 (not including Janet Jackson's infamous wardrobe malfunction) have been from one organization, the Parents Television Council. 99.9%

Maybe it's time someone starts a leftist group with a narrow political agenda that compliments the networks for airing (and the FCC for allowing them to air) entertaining television programs for adults. Because I think if all those red-state-of-minded people had their way, we wouldn't have Desperate Housewives to look forward to every Sunday.

I always agreed that the whole Ms. Jackson (Janet if you're nasty) thing was a little out-of-control and not appropriate for all the little kids watching the SuperBowl and deserving of all the complaints. But regular programming should be monitored by PARENTS. Not some right-wing Christian group who hates gays and thinks abstinence is the answer to teen pregnancy and AIDS, all in the name of God.

Decisions... decisions....

Let's see... on Wednesday, shall I watch Ryan Seacrest host the Billboard Music Awards or A Clay Aiken Christmas? Why.. oh WHY??? do the networks put us in these difficult positions?

Oh wait.... "Lost" is on at the very same time. Phew! That was a close one!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

What happens when you put two of the world's most prettiest people together in one movie? They try to kill each other?

The trailer.

Heidi dishes pearls of wisdom

"NEW YORK, (Reuters) -- When supermodel Heidi Klum decided to write a book, she didn't want it to be just a picture book. She wanted to offer some words of wisdom. Of course the book, "Heidi Klum's body of knowledge," does have pictures -- 400 of them to be precise, including a number of nude shots and plenty of the German temptress clad in the underwear brand that launched her on the way to super-stardom. But that's not the point of the book. Among eight "rules of model behavior" Klum outlines are such maxims as "You have to want it, baby" and "Have a blast while it lasts." And there are tips on getting ahead at work and getting better sex -- Heidi's advice: "Become the fantasy." "I wanted to write something because I thought I had so many great stories to tell and I had so many pictures and I didn't want to just do a picture book," Klum said after signing copies at a Wall Street bookshop in New York on Friday. "It's for guys who want to know more about girls and for girls who want to know more about guys," she says, adding that she sees it as her equivalent of a greatest hits album. Klum has enlisted a host of famous friends to share their favorite pearls of wisdom -- among them Donald Trump on how not to let criticism beat you down and Miramax movie mogul Harvey Weinstein on how to break into show business. And just to prove that she's a normal girl, Klum admits in the introduction of the book that she pigs out and gets pimples like anybody else. "In fact, thanks to my adolescent acne, some snotty kids in high school used to call me Pizza Face."

Thank god Heidi decided to write a book with actual words of wisdom. I wouldn't be able to take just another "picture book".

CNN = Funny

Ok, so I like me some CNN. As some of you know, I don't get to watch it much these days because I work for a (R), and thus am required to watch Fox. However, I was at cnn.com today and I happened across the TV spots for their new "under your control" news. the spots are wicked good (I like the Paula Zahn one the best). http://www.cnn.com/yourcommand/

Three Minute Read

Us Weekly, that is.

"I don't date. Nobody ever calls." - Anna Nicole Smith, not entirely unexpected confessional.

J. Lo's short haircut looks like Julia Roberts in Hook. I guess it's just a wig for a video.

Britney makes a lot of gas station stops.

No joke, three pages later she's stopping in at another gas station. What is up?

Xtina's boyfriend really looks like Fievel from American Tale.

OK, I'm done.

First Amendment Project

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

"In December, Sundance Channel and Court TV present an original four-part series exploring contemporary issues that redefine our Constitutional rights in "The First Amendment Project." In recent years, various international events - from 9/11 and the War on Terrorism to the politicization of religious groups - have pulled and pushed on our concept of the First Amendment. In response to these new times, Sundance Channel and Court TV invited a group of filmmakers to explore the First Amendment on their own terms and in their own way. The resulting four films, much like the filmmakers who created them, demonstrate a fascinating range of ideas and approaches, each returning to that central conflict of freedom and responsibility that is embedded in the First Amendment."

Tune in to the Sundance Channel at 9:00pm and 9:30pm on December 7th and again on the 14th and see all four segments of the series. Court TV will be playing the episodes on the same dates but at 10:00pm and 10:30pm.