Monday, February 28

Amazing Race

The 7th edition debuts tomorrow (Tuesday) on CBS at 9pm EST. Let's hope it doesn't turn into the Rob & Amber show.

Idol Guys

Mario Vasquez: He wore a white had that resembled a noodle strainer but his shoes were pretty cool, so it all evens out. Judges seemed to like him but I wasn't too thrilled.

Anwar Robinson: He's amazing. Very gracious. Love to see him in the finals.

Joe Murena: Vegas Lounge Act. Shortly after I wrote that down, Simon called him a Portuguese lounge singer. Joe also has a big head. Literally. Has anyone else noticed that?

David Brown: Nasty. Yuck. Ugh.

Constantine Maroulis: Cute and charismatic. However, I wasn't as impressed with him this week. Enough with the screeching.

Scott Savol: Amazing how they are transforming him into a more hip & cool guy. He even sported some bling. He needs to get more lively or something. I doubt he'll last much longer.

Travis Tucker: Lionel Richie song? Ugh. He's not as great as he thinks he is.

Nikko Smith: no hat this week which made him look like Bobby Brown. That isn't a good thing.

Anthony Fedorov: I wasn't sure about him covering a Foreigner tune, but it actually wasn't bad. I'm impressed. The hair-do is another matter.

Bo Bice: He rocks! The total package. I just hope he appeals to a broad enough base to keep him in this.

Sunday, February 27


I don't have a whole lot to say other than "why????" Why do they subject us to Josh Groban? Also, was Beyonce the only singer available? I mean, nothing against Beyonce, but I'm pretty certain there are some other female singers worthy of performing.

Oh and the pre-show. Why did they sequester Kathy Griffith away on the roof? Did I miss something there? Why does Star get to do all the interviews? She bored the hell out of me. She has nothing interesting to ask and frankly, she's embarassing to watch as she practically drools over the stars. But then again, she's still better than Joan and Melissa.

As far as the rest of the Oscars..... yawn. I was expecting at least some controversy with Mr. Rock at the helm. Damn you, Janet Jackson... you ruined everything!

Friday, February 25

The O.C.: Back to being good!

I have been extremely annoyed with this show lately.

Sandy and Kirsten are supposed to be, as Julie Cooper puts it, "the moral center of the universe." So why is he spending so much time and energy with his exgirlfriend from 20 years ago? They get in a car accident and instead of facing the police (she ran from a crime 20 years ago and faces trouble with the law) she flees.

She's gone!!

Ryan has been dating his surrogate-mom's sister, Lindsay. But there's been this drama whether Caleb is actually her father. And she looks like she's 35 (even the actress that plays her was born in 1980). Lame plot. Anyways, she moves to Chicago with her mom, even though Caleb is really her father.

She's gone!!

Summer has been dating Zach ever since Seth sailed away to wherever he went at the end of last season. Zach is great and all, but Seth and Summer are like Ross and Rachel. So it was great to see Summer leave Zach right before they were to go on a trip to Europe. It was also great for him to say, "You can't escape fate" or something like that.

He's gone!!

Marissa has been flirting with vagina lately. It doesn't seem natural, and contrary to what the producers say, it is a ratings ploy. Marissa doesn't seem comfortable in her new lesbian role, and the episode ends with her and Ryan hugging under an umbrella, while her lesbian-girlfriend-slash-Playboy-model-look-a-like goes into a bar with her friends.

Is she gone?!!

Welcome to The O.C., bitch! Back to being my favorite guilty pleasure.

Monday Night HBO?

I guess this is a good thing? HBO is moving Six Feet Under to air on Mondays starting in June. The official word is that HBO is hoping to expand their programming line-up. My official response: finally something to watch on Monday besides bad CBS sitcoms!

Stone Love

Sharon Stone has told E! that there is "lesbian love" in Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction. Folks, this movie ain't gonna be pretty.

Penguins: Part Two

SEAN "Puffy" Combs took flack from PETA for having unhappy-looking penguins at his party last weekend at South Beach's Hotel Victor, but the hip-hop producer was handsomely rewarded for showing up. Insiders say Puffy was paid a whopping $100,000 just to host the party and spend the weekend at the hotel. The Victor even paid for Combs' flight down to Miami and for his car — which caused an issue with another hotel guest, Tara Reid. "Tara only had a car for the weekend and was paid nothing," said our source. "When she found out from Puffy that he was being paid, and how much, she was furious." Combs also irked the hotel because he was supposed to "not go to any other hotels in the area that weekend but was seen having breakfast with Demi Moore at the Delano." A rep for Combs declined comment. Reid's rep said, "That is not true because I would have been the first to know if that was the case."

--Gosh, where can I get a deal like this? Simply show up somewhere and get paid that kind of money!!! As far as Ms. Reid.... get over yourself!

Idol Chatter

February 25, 2005 -- RYAN Seacrest's abrupt dismissal of contestants on Wednesday's live episode of "American Idol" has raised some eyebrows. Especially jolting was the way in which Melinda Lira, the first contestant booted off the show, nearly went into a state of shock when she got her abrupt marching orders from Seacrest. "Melinda, you're out," Seacrest barked at the 19-year-old from Hanford, Calif. — who covered her face as the audience sat in stunned and uncomfortable silence. Seacrest was equally abrupt with Sarah Mather, the second woman booted off the show. "Sarah, you are out," he said. Then seemed to apologize for his tone. "The journey ends for you tonight, darling. Sorry to put you through this," he said.

Passionate "Idol" fans weighed in on the show's message board yesterday — with some expressing anger over the way in which the contestants were axed. "I felt it was extremely mean, and while I'm sure they were going for the dramatic effect, these are young people with hopes and dreams," wrote one fan.

Wrote another fan of the way in which Judd Harris, the New York singer also booted off Wednesday's show, was told: " 'Judd, you're out' — you might as well hit that kid with a 2x4. It would have been less painful."

The show's producers declined to answer questions yesterday about the show's suddenly cruel turn. While "Idol" has always been known for hard knocks and bad news for losing competitors, Wednesday night's harshness seemed to stand out.

--Is this for real? Do these contestants think they'd have it any easier if they were trying to get into the music biz the traditional way? Puh-leeze!


From EW:
So, I've got this party coming up, and I'm deciding whom to invite. My uncle Dale is on the list, because he can play guitar, which means free entertainment (okay, so I'm a bit of a cheapskate). My old college buddy Ludwig is definitely in the mix because he always ends up with his lips surgically attached to a beer bong, and truth be told, that's free entertainment as well. I think I'll also invite Will Smith, just so I can tell people, ''Hey, Will Smith might show!'' One person I won't be putting on the guest list? Ashlee. Sorry. Seems nice enough. Is attractive. But there's one thing my party doesn't need, and that's a party pooper.

Ashlee was as good as gone once she began separating herself from the group. You're not hungry and don't want to eat with the rest of the group? Fake it! Take some food and chuck it behind a bush (a time-tested variation on the old feed-the-veggies-to-the-dog-under-the-table trick we all played as youngsters). Don't want to swap stories by the campfire? Fake it! Just sort of sit there, nod along, and then nod off when no one's looking. The one thing you never do is isolate yourself. Survivor is not just a test of strength and smarts; it is a test of social skills as well. There have been winners who were not that strong (hi, Amber), and winners who were not that smart (hi again, Amber) but never a winner who wasn't a key member of the group (even if said group was a bunch of knuckleheads). I also had a sneaky suspicion Ashlee would be sent packing just by the sheer number of shots in this episode aimed squarely at her enormous breasts. It's like Mark Burnett and company felt they had to take advantage of the boobalicious blonde while they still could.

Unfortunately, since we hadn't really had a chance to get attached to either Ashlee or her Ulong tribemate Kim (who is too busy getting attached to Jeff), it was hard to really care which one got the boot, so the last 10 minutes were a little dry. (Although we did get some classic eye rolling and facial squinting from Angie, James, and Stephenie. That stuff cracks me up. As does the enormous gun sitting behind Jeff Probst at tribal council. If someone gets a little sassy, is he allowed to use that thing?) And other than when Ian (my personal favorite so far, mostly because us lanky dudes have to stick together) recovered Koror's fire-starting equipment from the bottom of the sea, there wasn't a whole lot happening at the camps in this episode. Thankfully, we got two good challenges to liven things up.

Actually, good isn't the right word for the reward challenge — more like insane! Was I the only one feeling dizzy after watching that wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am affair? Bobby Jon was either getting bloody or smacking himself silly, Angie was completely falling out of her suit, Katie couldn't make the first swing to save her life, and Coby . . . well, I don't know what the hell Coby was doing with that while moment-of-Zen thing, but it was quickly followed by a moment of pure hilarity when he took one step and then wiped out. Who knows, maybe I was just disoriented the whole time by Jeff Probst's lime-green shirt. Looking at it, I sorta felt like those Nazi guys who opened the ark in Raiders of the Lost Ark and had their faces melt off from the extreme brightness. Not quite sure if that shirt took C or D batteries, but I do know this: It was loud and it was proud.

The immunity challenge was pretty bitchin' too. Honestly, I don't know if it was the way the challenge was designed that I loved or just the pleasure of watching one team blow a huge lead and then get absolutely smoked, but either way, it was good stuff. (I even dug the little submarine sound they inserted every time one of those distance-marking buoys rose to the surface. (Why a submarine noise? I have no idea. But I enjoyed it anyway.) Now, it is true that Kim didn't even try to dive down and pull the trunk, but c'mon, that challenge should have been all about Ibrehem, Bobby Jon, and Jeff, and those dudes did not do squat. (Just look at how Tom was hooking up Koror!) So I don't really blame her too much for that. I'd invite her to my party. She would come too, because who knows? Will Smith might be there!

What do you think? Did Ashlee blow it by isolating herself? Will Jeff and Kim's cuddling help them or hurt them? And does Ian score extra points for calling out The Bad News Bears?

--Personally, another boring eppy

TV Guide

We get it. You know how to use photoshop. Guess what. Marg Helgenberger (or whatever her name is) does not look like that.

Breaking News

J. Lo is married!!!!!!


Thursday, February 24

Stars Without Makeup

This show is bad.... but oh so good. I really feel guilty for watching this shit.

Barbra, Goldie, Sally Field, Cher. Not lookin' so hot. At least without the makeup.

Another thought. Why is this on Fox? They have American Idol three nights a week. You'd think that they could come up with something decent for all the other nights, right? Guess they ran out of shows about midgets.

More thoughts.

Cher being pissy to a videotaping paparazzi.... "You're not a man!" He says he couldn't pay for anything better, and I agree. All that drama... it's HELPING the paparazzi. If you ignore them, Cher, then you win. That's what my mom told me to do when people made fun of me in grade school! Ignore them!

Melanie Griffith... not lookin' good. My friend Shane met her when she was perfoming on Broadway across the street from Antonio (her husband). My friend Shane told her it must be nice to work so close to her husband. Her response... "There's lots of cars in the street. Beeeep. Beeeeep." Um, okay.

Note: Trying to make music that sounds like the songs performed by stars is a really bad idea. "Fake Titanic Theme Song" is so awful.... but thanks for trying. And by the way, Celine looks like a Star Trek villain. Get a wardrobe.

I enjoyed watching Bjork beat the living crap out of the paparazzi.

Okay this is getting boring. Bye.

Oooh.. This Could Be Interesting

CAMP Michael Jackson is worrying, if convicted, would he do himself in. The stick-straight black hair turns curly grey. The nose falls apart. Makeup's forbidden. And the wardrobe definitely changes. He knows he couldn't sustain prison longtime.

--Never really thought about this angle before. Can you imagine????

About Damn Time

HAS Star Jones finally learned her lesson? The freebie queen actually turned down a Mexican vacation that a p.r. company offered her for her upcoming 43rd birthday on March 24. "She was offered a trip and she turned it down," Jones' rep said. Instead, Jones and her hubby, Al Reynolds, will visit old pal Kim Cattrall in London, and presumably (gulp) pay for it

Pigeon Blood?

Of mics and (wo)men Forget all the designer-this and designer-that during Sunday's Oscars — no one else but TV Guide Channel's Joan Rivers and daughter Melissa will be able to boast about, get this, diamond-encrusted microphones. Really. Famed jewelry designer Gigi has fashioned the mics, valued at $1 million each, out of black- and-white diamonds and rare pigeon-blood-color, diamond-cut rubies measuring 200 carats (pigeon blood?). Joan and Melissa will use the mics in their pre-show coverage.

--who cares?


FINALLY! This season is getting back to what the show does best....

Sark and Anna Espinosa!!!
Family drama.
Bad Sloane. Bad.

The short of it goes.... Nadia is kidnapped by Anna Espinosa, Sydney's first-season rival from K-Directorate. She's up to no good, and Sark may be involved somehow. Nadia is rescued, but then shot at the end of the episode. Will she survive? We have to watch next week... which looks equally good!

Pilot News

Too much to sum up, so here's the Reuters article:

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Sarah Clarke, who played the devious Nina Myers on Fox's "24," has been cast opposite Benjamin Bratt in the NBC pilot "E-Ring," which Oscar nominee Taylor Hackford ("Ray") will direct.

"E-Ring" focuses on the fight for America's safety revealed through the inner workings of the Pentagon. Clarke will play the wife of the show's lead (Bratt).

Clarke next will be seen in the indie "Happy Endings," which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival.

In other pilot casting news:

- Carla Gugino ("Spy Kids") will star in CBS' "Threshold," which revolves around a team of scientists and military personnel who get in contact with a mysterious alien life-form.

- Dylan Baker ("Hide and Seek") has joined Aidan Quinn in NBC's "Book of Daniel," which centers on an Episcopalian minister (Quinn) with a prescription drug problem who converses with a hip, modern Jesus. Baker will play the senior warden at the minister's parish.

- Natasha Henstridge has landed a role in ABC's "Pros and Cons," a caper focusing on a group of con artists who work for the FBI. Henstridge, most recently seen in the Lifetime movie "Widow on the Hill," will play a member of the con team.

- Judy Greer has come aboard CBS' "Love Monkey," which chronicles the lives of four male friends in various stages of dating and marriage. Greer, recently seen in "The Village" and "13 Going on 30," next will co-star in "Elizabethtown.

- and "American Dreams" star Will Estes has joined Fox's "Reunion," which follows six close friends, one of them played by Estes, from their high school graduation in 1986 to their 20th reunion in 2006. For Estes, who plays JJ Pryor on "American Dreams," "Reunion" is in second position to the NBC drama, whose future is uncertain.

Zach Morris is Back!

Since NYPD Blue is over, Mark Paul Gosselaar will star in a Fox drama. It's basically Six Feet Under set in a wedding chapel. Sounds cute.

Pulp CSI

Quentin Tarantino is going to direct the final episode of CSI this season. So don't expect it to be family-friendly like the other episodes.

Russell's Wang

From E!:
Russell Crowe penning an email to Sydney's Sunday Telegraph explaining that filming on his upcoming film Eucalyptus was delayed because he was "taken aback at the addition of a scene requiring me to expose my penis to the young Queen Elizabeth."

Well, if that's the case, we want filming stopped now too!

Lost Recap

From EW:

Before we start dissecting last night's superb episode of Lost, before I lay on ya some kooky theories and quasi-intellectual ruminations on themes and deep meanings that'll either leave you dazzled or send you clicking over to the news page for the latest on Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick (personally, I got 10 bucks on the latter), let's address some really, really, really important issues, right away:

1. Hellllllllo, Sun's two-piece turquoise swimsuit!

2. ''Four days until Oscar.'' (Why is that fact lodged in my head?)

3. Line of the night: Shannon flirting with Sayid: ''Perhaps we should get some rope, spend a Saturday night alone together, and see what happens.'' All that was missing from Sayid's eye-popping, jaw-dropping silent response was an arrroooogah! sampled from a Chuck Jones cartoon.

4. What in the name of PETA was Locke cutting up and eating? A rat? A frog? A saucy pizza pocket with legs?

5. ''Four days until Oscar.'' (It's almost like there's this logo in the bottom right corner of my mind's eye, seared on my brain like a brand on a steer. . . .)

Last night's episode was titled ''Lost: . . . In Translation,'' and for the second week in a row, island mysteries took a back seat to character-driven back story, a gambit that certainly runs the risk of alienating fans who initially got hooked on Lost's plethora of puzzles. In fact, yesterday, EW columnist Stephen King (who apparently also writes novels) was quoted as saying he felt the show has been ''stuck in neutral.'' If you asked me two weeks ago, I would have agreed. But in the wake of the recent (and creatively successful) focus on our castaways' pre-island lives, my position is in flux. What's becoming clear is that Lost is not the show many of us assumed it to be — namely, ''the next X-Files.'' Slowly, Lost is revealing itself to be something different — more elusive, more dramatically dynamic, definitely more risky. And all for the better.

''. . . In Translation'' was all about lovers and fathers. Taking center stage was the island's resident good-time, fun-lovin' Koreans, Grim Jin and his I live a life of quiet desperation (and I also secretly speak English) wife, Sun. It was good to see these two at the forefront again, since they tend be completely forgotten when they're not. That lovin' feelin' between them has been gone, gone, gone a good long time now. Yeah, we kinda knew that, but we assumed it was because Jin was an emotionally remote, way too traditional workaholic jerk, whose idea of getting close to his wife is keeping her three paces behind him. But it turns out he's deeply in love with Sun, yet all spiritually screwed up over how her auto mogul father is a total [unprintable] and has Jin's life by the [unprintables]. Before he became a Monster Island castaway, Jin worked as a ''special assistant'' to Sun's dad, a corrupt fellow who'd sooner kill his employees than give them an extra potty break. Initially, Jin thought ''special assistant'' meant a respectable white-collar job. Instead, it meant getting his white collar splattered with blood working as a glorified goon. Remember the scene in the Sun-centric episode earlier this season when Grim Jin came home bloody? Well, we finally found out how — but in a nice twist, it was revealed that Jin actually saved a life instead of taking one; his savage beating of an uncooperative government official actually prevented said government official from getting blown away by an assassin who wears rubber surgical gloves. See? Jin's a good egg!

Jin has a whole magazine rack of father issues, most of them due to his shame that his own dad is a poor fisherman. (I liked the implication that Jin's attraction to Sun had as much to do with her strong, powerful, successful father as her sweet smile, soulful eyes, and — who knew until now? — swimsuit-flattering curves.) After learning there are worse things to be than a poor fisherman, Jin reconciled with his dad shortly before his trip into the Twilight Zone, and also disclosed the reason why he can't talk to his wife anymore, why he can't just quit and start over: Apparently, it would be dishonorable to tell Sun just how much of a dirty rotten scoundrel her dirty rotten scoundrel father really is. The fisherman's sage advice to his son: Run away. Take Sun to America, disappear, live happily ever after. It appears he was planning to do just that when he and Sun boarded that ill-fated flight to Los Angeles. . . .

Really rich, truly heartbreaking stuff, and it made for a gripping read, as most of it was in subtitles. It also played out against the backdrop of an island crisis: Who torched Michael's raft? Michael accused Jin, with whom he's had some Racial Tension in the past, and everyone else seemed to agree, and so they all stood in a circle on the beach and allowed Michael to pound Jin to a pulp before Sun put a stop to it, revealing her I-speak-English super powers in the process. No one was more shocked than Jin, who felt so betrayed that he stalked back to the caves, packed his stuff, and left Sun for the beach enclave. Now, he's helping Michael rebuild the boat. The man wants off the island, ASAP.

The real boat torcher was — and honestly, I didn't see this coming — Michael's son, Walt, who confessed to Locke he prefers life stranded in sunny limbo. ''I like it here, too,'' said Locke. And with his new legs and the all-you-can-eat jungle buffet, really, why would he want to leave? The resident wise man articulated the big theme: ''Everybody gets a new life on this island. Perhaps it's time to start yours.'' Wading into the ocean at episode's end, Sun seems ready to begin that process, while Jin seems figuratively trapped in his old life and determined to get back to it literally. Lost, then, is a place where the baggage each passenger has brought is unpacked and sorted out. Seen from this point of view, the series isn't ''stuck in neutral'' — it's been blazing full speed ahead. I'm guessing that Lost's writers have always known the series can't survive for long on mysteries and monsters, because they know — and, really, we should know, too — that the answers will inevitably disappoint us, if only because the journey into the unknown is always more interesting than the destination. The key to Lost's long-term survival, then, is maintaining the vitality of its character-driven approach. If the back stories can remain as rich and intriguing as this episode, Lost can go anywhere, for as long as it wants.

What do you think? If Locke knew Walt was really behind the torching, why did he point the finger at the mysterious enemies living in the jungle? And how about the allusions to Locke's own father issues? (Sounds like a future flashback to me.) But I know what you really want to gab about: Hurley! You saw him on the TV in Jin's flashback, right? What was going on there?

Wednesday, February 23

Idol Losers

Commence with the bawling.... it's time to see who gets booted!

Melinda Lira-not surprised AT ALL
Sarah Mather-mildly surprised. Thought the 'cute factor' would see her through for another week. I will say that I was reminded of how horrid her singing was when she sang at the end. Gack!

Jared Yates-definitely a Halle Berry look-a-like and can't sing worth a crap. Bye bye!
Judd-surprised, although I didn't mention him in my initial review so clearly he wasn't memorable to me. Last song=yuck

And, is it possible to drag out this show or make it any more dramatic?

Just in case you thought it might be good....

It's not. Son of the Mask reviewed by The Onion:

The law of diminishing returns dictates that sequels to bad movies are the worst movies of all, because the producers are not only working to rebottle the original non-magic, they're inevitably doomed to come up short. Even by those standards, Son Of The Mask is more handicapped than most, since 1994's The Mask was a vehicle tailored to the specific talents of rubber-faced fartsmith Jim Carrey, who's wisely keeping his distance. But as with Dumb And Dumberer, another sequel to a Carrey hit minus its principal cast, New Line owns the property and has retooled it for the thumb-sucking set, so parents are advised to bust out the emergency Ritalin. It's hard to believe that beings as young and delicate as children are the target audience for such a frantic, retina-searing assault on the senses, but as pure visceral experience, Son Of The Mask borders on the experimental.


Does anyone else do netflix? If so, wanna be "friends?"

Does Your Mom Not Feed You?

Seriously, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Eat.

Pilot Season!

That means the networks are putting together their worst shows for next fall! Here's the LD:

J. Love Hewitt, who got kicked off an ABC comedy pilot, will now play a newlywed psychic in an untitled CBS drama.

James Van Der Beek will star in the CBS comedy "Three." He'll play a newly married husband. No word on who will play the wife or his recently-divorced friend.

Barry Watson ("7th Heaven") and Rosanna Arquette ("Desperately Seeking Susan") have been will star in ABC's drama "What About Brian" about a thirtysomething single guy surrounded by his married friends.

Denise Richards is moving to the UPN for "Wildlife," AKA Sex and the City in Silver Lake.

My Idol Thoughts - The Chicks

Aloha Mischeaux. Yes, odd dance moves. And I think that choppy song hid the fact that she can't sing good.

Amanda Avila. Gorgeous. Looks wise, not singing wise.

Carrie Underwood. This girl can blow, dude! She's a contender.

Celena Rae. Worst. Song. Ever. But I think she can sing. A little dramatic, though. Like one of those kids in high school who's totally into Hello, Dolly!

Janay Castine. She reminds me of an old, crazy black woman singing at church. But she's adorable. Just needs a better song. And it was kind of bizarre how she was always looking into the camera but her head never moved.

Jessica Sierra. A chubby Madonna, and I mean that in a good way. Pick a song not by Phil Collins and I bet she's awesome.

Lindsay Cardinale. I think she may have a good voice. Simon says she's not boring. I beg to differ.

Melinda Lira. Overrated.

Mikalah Gordon. Have you seen that mugshot of Yasmine Bleeth? It's Mikalah Gordon! God, what an annoying woman. It's like Courtney Love meets Fran Drescher meets Sharon Stone meets a drag queen.

Nadia Turner. Wow, this girl will make it to the end. I'm not sure about her range, but I just love black woman rockers. Seriously. Even though there are like... none. So she fills a niche.

Sarah Mather. Not. Talented.

Vonzell Solomon. She didn't do anything for me... except forward through her performance.

The BBC Has The Best Quizzes

Check out their Oscar quiz. I got 8 out of 12.

New iPods Alert!

Apple Computer Inc. introduced new versions of its hugely popular iPod on Wednesday.

The No. 1 seller of portable digital music players introduced a six-gigabyte iPod mini and 30- and 60-gigabyte models of the iPod photo with a color screen. The new offerings also include a four-gigabyte model for $199 -- down from $249 previously -- and the new six-gigabyte model for $249. Both iPod mini models have increased battery life and are available in kicked-up colors, Apple said in a statement. The new 30-gigabyte model of the iPod photo sells for a suggested $349 and holds up to 7,500 songs, while the 60GB model, for $449, holds up to 15,000. Both iPod photo models can store up to 25,000 digital images and can import photos from a digital camera with the iPod Camera Connector, an optional accessory. The iPod Camera Connector is expected to be available in late March for $29.


Apparently Sean P.Diddy Combs held a party recently with six live penguins serving as decor. They were placed on a plexiglass platform in the middle of a pool. Can anyone tell me why? Why would someone get penguins and use them as party decorations? It's just wrong!

Major TV Night

I am overwhelmed with my viewing choices for this evening. I can barely concentrate at work I am soooo excited!!!

Project Runway-2 hour finale on Bravo, 9pm
LOST-new episode, 8pm on ABC
American Idol-Big vote-off episode, 8pm FOX

My Tivo and VCR are going to be working overtime tonight!!!

Tuesday, February 22

Idol Chicks

I am now a complete geek. I am taking notes. Gah!!

Vonzel-judges liked her. I didn't
Amanda-mixed reviews, not great
Janay-bad song. the girl has spunk. I think she'll improve
Carrie-great reviews. i liked her a bunch. plus she's cute. that never hurts
Sarah-nasty song but did okay. she'll advance since she's got the cute factor
Nadia-Can you say, Baaaaa??? Her hair needs a bit of pruning! She does a lot of postuering out there and has a 'tude but she'll go far
Celena-seems too old. maybe she'll improve. quite beautiful
Mikalah-i used to like her. now she seems very cartoony and immature
Lindsay-not pretentious and was quite awesome
Jessica-boring song, great voice, cute.
Aloha-confident but had the oddest body movements. great voice. lose the flower.

It's About Time Real Time's Back

"God Bless Bill Maher."

- George W. Bush

Okay, so he didn't really say that, but I did. Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO is one of the most intelligent and hilarious shows on television. I'm glad it's back. Friday's episode was a little over the top, thanks to the manic presence of Robin Williams (he has a one-liner for everything, which is impressive, hysterical and annoying, all at the same time).

But it was priceless hearing Joe Biden and Tommy Thompson discuss "Jeff Gannon," the gay jigalo that has been in the White House Press Corps for two years now. Check it out in reruns this week and then add it as a season pass on tivo!

AP: Josh Groban Looking Forward To Oscar Performance

Glad someone is.

American Idol Thoughts

Each year, I tell myself I will not watch this show. And then I watch it and get hooked. This season is no different. And I actually thought most these guys can sing. Here are some thoughts:

Anthony Federov. This guy reminds me a lot of Aaron Carter, except not as queer. The boy can sing, but you know, the song was way lame.

Anwar Robinson. This guy is Bob Marley meets Broadway. Kind of cool, but your outfit looks like a banana.

Bo Brice. I like. Good song. But you can't move very well. Get a haircut.

Constantine. He reminds me of this girl (yes, girl) I know. But I like his voice. Who knew you could rock out on Seal!

David Brown. You look like Eric Benet. And I have nothing else to say about you.

Jared Yates. You look like Halle Berry. You and David Brown should get together.

Joseph Murena. OK, you can sing. But you are a B-O-R-E. And you look like a bloated Enrique.

Judd Harris. Again, a good singer. Kind of remind me of the hobbit guy from last season. Don't remember his name, but he was good at singing Elvis songs only.

Mario Vazquez. You are a lady. But you can sing! I bet this guy wins the whole competition.

Nikko Smith. You were my favorite of the night. Great Stevie Wonder song. And you remind me of Jacqueese from Real World San Diego. Like, a lot. And he is a badass!

Scott Saval. Hedgehog.

Travis Tucker. Nice smile. Pick a better song.

Best Engagement Story Evah!

Vote for my friend's Chris & Julie! They rock!

More Paris

This site is a little... um, porno. (It has a screenshot of that Paris video you've already seen.) But it has a link to Paris' address book. So if you want Fred Durst's email (who doesn't?!) check it out.

Paris in "San fran"

From Wonkette:

How, exactly, does America's second-sexiest (and newly-single) mayor end up in Paris Hilton's hacked phonebook, with this entry:

Newson, San fran gavin 1-415-722-XXXX

Although the misspelling and "San fran" mnemonic reference leads us to believe he didn't leave the most lasting impression. Maybe he performed her dog's gay marriage?

Wonder Woman

Apparently a big-screen version is coming, and the title role is being offered to Kim Basinger and Jessica Biehl. Not even kidding. Because those two actresses compete for a lot of the same roles.


I'm in the middle of watching Ray. It's good and all, but I can totally see it as a made-for-television movie on Lifetime.

Chris Rocks

Funny AP article about Chris Rock, putting the Oscars into perspective (get over yourself, Drudge):

LOS ANGELES - Chris Rock wants to clarify what he meant when he said straight men don't watch the Oscars (news - web sites. "I did not say that. I said only gay people watch the Tonys," he joked Monday during an appearance on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno."

But later he stuck to his guns. "I really don't know any straight men who aren't in show business that have ever watched the Oscars," he said.

The Emmy-winning comedian has taken some heat for an Entertainment Weekly interview in which he called the notion of giving awards for art "idiotic" and added: "what straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars?"

But he offered Leno some toned-down criticism of Oscar hype.

"The awards don't really affect anybody's lives in the crowd," Rock said. "Meanwhile, the Nobel Peace Prize, there's no one there. Nobody cares what the scientists are wearing. What are you wearing Professor Allen? 'Pants!'"

Rock, asked if he was rooting for anyone to win, said he would favor Don Cheadle, who is up for best actor for his role in "Hotel Rwanda."

"I like it if the award will affect the person's life," Rock said. "If he wins, he's gonna get better scripts, he's gonna work with better directors."

And he had some advice for acceptance speeches.

"Don't thank God," Rock said. "God's busy working on the tsunami, so leave him alone."

People Hollywood Daily Oscar Picks

Hilary Swank, Jamie Foxx, Thomas Haden Church, Cate Blanchett, Martin Scorsese and The Aviator are winners, according to People Magazine.

I'm going to say their wrong, and Clint and Million $ Baby win the last two.

And I'm willing to bet The Incredibles wins. D'uh.

Sadness Part III

The pathetic kind, though. Charlie O'Connell (brother to Jerry, the fat kid from Stand by Me who's no longer fat) is the next Bachelor on ABC. Sad.

Sadness Part II

Blink-182 are on indefinite hiatus. This is one band who I thought got infinitely better with each album. Their latest, Blink-182, was a fucking rocker. I hope they get back together. But for now they are going to spend time with friends and family and smoke weed and stuff.


Hunter S. Thompson commited suicide. I'm going to watch Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas this week.

Royal Scandal

Camille and Prince Charles really have had a 35-year whirlwind romance. It's kind of sweet. And then you look at them.... and it's not so sweet anymore. It's kind of disturbing.

Now Paris is slutting out her address book

A really over-dramatic article about this from imdb:

Socialite Paris Hilton has been left devastated after a computer hacker broke into her mobile phone and published her personal photographs and celebrity-laden address book on the internet. The sensitive information quickly flooded the web - and Hilton's celebrity pals have been inundated with unwanted calls from fans hoping to speak to their idol. One celebrity has recorded an answer phone message stating the caller is in breech of a Federal Communications Commission (FCC) code, according to Fox News correspondent Roger Friedman. The stars who have had their privacy compromised include hip-hop superstars Jay-Z and Pharrell Williams; pop stars Christina Aguilera and Avril Lavigne; tennis stars Andy Roddick and Mark Philippoussis, and Oscar-winning actor Adrien Brody.

On my iPod playlist...

And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead - Worlds Apart

This album is so awesome. It reminds me a little bit of The Who's Tommy, a little bit of U2. It's loud and beautiful and one hell of a good listen.

Ray LaMontagne - Trouble

This guy is like Van Morrison and Ben Harper put together. Track #3 is my favorite, with a good beat and some good guitar strumming.

k.d. lang - Hymns from the 49th Parallel

I have never listened to k.d. before, but he voice is really gorgeous. There are a few songs I can't stop listening to (Helpless).


CHER is not a fan of the younger generation of pop stars. During a concert in Auckland, New Zealand, last weekend, she told 20,000 fans: "I'm not going to give up show business but I'm going to give up touring because, you know, there are all of these young girls coming out like Britney [Spears] and J.Lo." The crowd booed at the names and, according to New Zealand wire reports, Cher smirked: "I know — they are ho's, aren't they?" A rep for Spears and Lopez told PAGE SIX: "For someone who has had their fair share of bad press, it is surprising she would comment on two women she hardly knows."

What A Shame

PETRA Nemcova is finally going to talk about her tsunami horror. ABC's Diane Sawyer flew into Prague Friday morning to interview the Sports Illustrated supermodel, who lost her love, Simon Atlee, in the disaster. "Petra wanted to tell her story," said a pal. "She will eventually go back into modeling, it is what she does." Meanwhile, Nemcova is also entertaining seven-figure offers from both Simon & Schuster and Judith Regan to tell her tale of survival in a book.

---Glad Petra is "finally" going to talk. Guess she needed some money since she isn't working at the moment. Why don't the book publishers offer up some money to the people who actually LIVE where the tsunami happened, instead of some stupid model who just happened to be vacationing over there? I hate stuff like this.... the model is making money off the tragedy and the networks are looking to exploit it and then the book people.... it just never ends. Yuck.

"Project" May Get Snipped

'PROJECT Runway" may get snipped from Bravo's lineup, despite becoming a hit this season. The second season of the popular cable show — which follows a group of designers competing for a big-bucks contract to produce a line of apparel — is in jeopardy because of the expected split between Miramax, the studio that produces it, and Disney. While it is clear that Bravo wants to renew the show, there is currently no deal in place because TV executives are not sure who will have the rights to "Project" next year: Disney or Miramax.

Warning: Addictive

Aha!..... Mystery Solved!

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Sculptors in London's Madame Tussaud's museum were forced to break up a waxwork figure of Hollywood superstars Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston embracing following their separation last month. "It involved quite a lot of work, because they were entwined and had their arms around each other," said museum spokeswoman Diane Moon Monday. "Jen had one of her hands on Brad's chest and her other hand was resting on his bottom."

The procedure, which involved remolding their arms, cost around $19,000, and the separated figures have been put back on display with their backs to each other. Pitt and Aniston were married in July 2000 and their entwined figure was installed in July 2004, after the museum decided they were a "safe couple."

--Aha! So it wasn't Angelina Jolie! It was the wax museum's fault!

Monday, February 21

Male Idols

I must say I am impressed. All the previous showings of American Idol don't even come close to talent I am seeing (and hearing) on this year's edition. There were a few obvious ones tonight who I doubt will go very far (Nikko, David, Jared) Scott doesn't have the "look" but certainly has the voice. Travis will go far because of his "look. I have mixed feelings on the Clay wannabe, Anthony and also Joseph.

I voted for Anwar, Constantine, Bo, Judd and Mario.

No clear-cut fave yet although I've had a soft spot for Anwar and Constantine through the whole process.

Totally Cool

Go check out.....

Camp Cupcake

MARTHA Stewart isn't out of the slammer, but she's already flying her hairstylist in for a consultation before her release next month. Sources say the domestic diva, now at Alderson prison in West Viginia, flew celebrity hairdresser Frederic Fekkai down on a private jet to seek his advice on restoring her signature blond mane. According to insiders, Martha regularly wears a bandanna to cover what's left of it. "Her hair is looking much different these days," said a spy.

--As we all know, it's better to look good than to feel good.

Project Runway

From the NY Post:

NOT that Wendy Pep per should care one way or another what I think, but I am praying for her to win it all on "Project Runway." I crave nothing more than to see the looks on the faces of the two other finalists — sanctimonious Kara Saun, 37, and malicious Jay McCarroll, 29 — when the judges award the 39-year-old mom from Middleburg, Va., the show's grand prize in this Wednesday's two-hour finale (9 p.m. on Bravo). She richly deserves it. Few reality-show participants have ever been as maligned as she has been over the course of this cutthroat series. And, as she demonstrated last Wednesday, when she had mud flung at her from all sides during that bitchy reunion special, she can take the heat.

I'm certain her two co-finalists would have run crying to their mommas if they had been the ones under attack. Come to think of it, that's exactly what one of Wendy's more outspoken critics — the atrocious Vanessa Riley — did during the reunion show as soon as tart-tongued Jay aimed his venom at her. Vanessa, who was the fourth contestant eliminated on the show, got up and ran from the room — not only a loser, but a sore one, just like most of the other nine losers whose design instincts were not sharp enough to get them to the finals.

Getting to the finals is one of the grand prizes on "Project Runway," the fashion-biz reality show spearheaded by supermodel Heidi Klum. For their final competition, the three surviving contestants were each invited to design a collection of 12 pieces and then mount a real fashion show for the industry, the press and the "Project Runway" judges on the opening morning of Fashion Week under the big tent in Bryant Park. The winner also gets $100,000 in seed money to invest in his or her own business.

The fashion shows, which I was lucky enough to attend, were Feb. 4. Predictably, Jay and Kara were cheered wildly like the crowd favorites they are. Wendy received a more reserved style of polite applause, thanks probably to the way she has been portrayed as a villainess on the show. It's an unfair portrayal because her alleged transgressions always seemed so slight — such as the time she grabbed a bolt of orange cloth that Kara was thinking of using. The alleged hijacking took place in a Garment District fabric store, where, as most New Yorkers know, if you snooze, you lose. I'm siding with Wendy on this one — if Kara wanted that bolt so badly, she should have kept her hands on it.

Meanwhile, back at the fashion shows, Wendy stunned all her naysayers by putting on a knockout presentation. When it was over, it was clear she had just as much a chance of winning as Kara, the L.A. costume designer who most "Project Runway" fans are picking to win.

Wednesday's finale is all about the fashion shows and the four months of preparation that went into them. I've seen it (minus the announcement of the winner) and I won't spoil it by revealing anything that happens. However, I can tell you it is a hell of a TV show.

----Alrighty folks, get those Tivo's tuned in to record Project Runway!! Sounds like this will be a good one!! I for one, can't wait!!!


Just had to take up some space and chat about the newest addition to the family...... my brand new GMC Envoy! I'm very excited as it's being delivered today. Now I no longer need to worry about going over my mileage on the TrailBlazer!! I love the GM pull-ahead program!!

Desperate Recap

From Television Without Pity:

This week, Miguel's roommate tries to blackmail Gabrielle into sleeping with him. When she threatens to tell Miguel about it, the roommate admits that he wanted to nail Gabrielle because he's worried he might be gay. See, he's been fooling around with this guy for a long time, and he thinks he might be developing feelings. The other guy? Andrew Van de Kamp! Susan discovers the two of them making out in the Youngs' pool. Speaking of Susan, she has the misfortune of finding out that her boyfriend, in addition to being the prime suspect in Mrs Kravitz's murder, has a record: manslaughter and drug trafficking. She's heartbroken. Mike's boss, Noah, promises he'll get him out of this legal mess by paying off the detective in charge of the case, who's played by Nick Chinlund, better known to those of us who watched The X-Files as the creepiest villain ever, freaky killer and lover of hair, Donnie Pfaster. Damn you, Marc Cherry! This is a cunning blow against me! What's next? BOB as Susan's new boyfriend?

Anyway, in other News of the Heartbroken, KimberBree finds out that Danielle is planning to give Miguel the flower of her virginity as a way to win him back. KimberBree convinces Miguel to be as brutal as possible when turning down this kind offer, so as to keep Danielle from holding onto false hope. We don't get the see the brutality in action, but Danielle does a lot of crying after she has a private talk with Miguel, so presumably he carried through his end of the bargain. Speaking of bad boyfriends, Julie sneaks out of the house to go to Zach's Dorky Pool Party That Turns Into An Adolescent Gay Orgy, and finds out that Zach really is, as Susan puts it, "Rampage-Crazy" (as opposed to what she defines herself, "Adorable-Crazy") when he threatens very creepily to shoot Andrew. Danielle's wigged. Finally, Gay Matt gets a promotion he really, really wants and Lynette sabotages it, because she's a bitch. Good stuff this week.

Friday, February 18

Coldplay's New Baby

Their new album is pushed back to June (originally scheduled for March). Darn.

Wash Post on Chris Rock and Why Americans Aren't Stupid

Drudge Takes The Oscar For 'Clueless'

By Donna BrittFriday, February 18, 2005

I never thought I'd say it, but Matt Drudge has made me feel better about America.
As manufactured media "news" goes, the right-wing Internet curmudgeon's effort to scuttle Chris Rock's appearance as host of the Oscar telecast Feb. 27 hasn't gained much steam. Which explains my cheerfulness.

As one who hasn't missed an Oscar telecast since childhood, I've always had strong opinions about emcees' performances: Steve Martin was classy, Billy Crystal's trademark opening songs were uproarious, Whoopi Goldberg was oft-embarrassing. I looked forward to Rock's appearance because the comic isn't just hilarious; he's frighteningly honest.

The guy could be a complete disaster -- or one of the Oscars' best hosts. I can't wait to see which.

Clearly, Drudge feels differently. The Feb. 13 edition of his Drudge Report featured a screaming all-caps headline: "HOST CHRIS ROCK SHOCK: ONLY GAYS WATCH OSCARS; ACADEMY MEMBERS ALARMED OVER CHOICE OF COMIC." The "exclusive" report describes how "concerned" some conveniently unnamed members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are over the choice of Rock as host.

Members' concern supposedly deepened after Rock joked to Entertainment Weekly that the only black men who watch the Oscars are gay. Of course, Drudge upped the ante by suggesting that Rock said that only gays, period, tune in. Rock's actual quote: "Come on, it's a fashion show. What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one!"

To which Rock added: "Awards for art are [expletive] idiotic."

Rock's words did stun me -- with their frankness. The telecast has always been a celebration of expensive attire. And it's always been slightly absurd. Oscar often rewards popular and/or profitable films while ignoring brilliance. The 1941 film "Citizen Kane" -- the choice of countless critics and the American Film Institute as the greatest-ever film -- lost Best Picture to "How Green Was My Valley," and won only for its screenplay.

Everyone knows Oscar is a culturally fascinating crock. But what host has admitted it, even in jest? A statement by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation pointed out what Drudge apparently missed: "Chris Rock isn't making fun of gays -- he's poking fun at the Oscars," GLAAD executive director Joan Garry said.

What's more, some conservative writers and visitors to right-leaning Web sites wondered why Drudge didn't get it. A British observer suggested that the true victims of Rock's comments were those suffering from the "blight of Oscarphobia," and that anyone harboring "unnatural urges to . . . watch a bunch of phony old actors congratulating themselves" deserves sympathy, not condemnation.

Amazing. In an age in which people of every possible demographic are primed to screech, "I'm offended!" folks got the joke. More astonishing was Drudge's suggestion that academy members fear that Rock might "tarnish" Oscar's rep.

Rock would need superpowers to tarnish a show twice hosted by noted pratfaller Chevy Chase, and whose 1995 host, David Letterman, presented a dog that spun in circles whenever the audience applauded. Must I mention Rob Lowe painfully "singing" to Snow White in 1989 or the naked man who in 1974 "streaked" across the stage?

People tune in precisely to see who will cuss, trip or insert a Jimmy Choo pump or Gucci loafer into his or her mouth. Surely Crystal, Chase, Letterman and Goldberg made a discomfiting joke or two before they hosted.

Vomit of the Day

This one has to do with, surprise!, Michael Jackson. From Page Six:

Private investigator Ernie Rizzo, who was hired by the family of the boy who accused Jackson of molestation in 1993, predicts that Jackson's latest alleged victim could provide damning testimony about the pop oddball's uniquely marked manhood.

Rizzo, a former Chicago police detective who has seen photographs of Jackson's genitals taken by cops in 1993, claims that because Jackson "bleaches" his body twice a week, distinctive markings on his penis are visible when he is aroused.

"It looks like a barber's pole," Rizzo tells Page Six. "That's exactly what it looks like. The first kid and all the other kids who have seen his penis know that there are brown circles around it."


I love Tori Amos, and I have been lucky enough to see her in concert. But I haven't seen a solo piano tour yet, so now's my chance! Here are the tour dates:

April 1: Clearwater, Fla. (Ruth Eckard Hall)
April 3: Orlando, Fla. (Bob Carr Theatre)
April 4: Atlanta (Symphony Hall)
April 6: Washington, D.C. (Warner Theatre)
April 8: New York (Hammerstein Ballroom)
April 11: Philadelphia (Kimmel Center)
April 12: Boston (Orpheum Theatre)
April 14: Detroit (Detroit Opera House)
April 15: Chicago (Auditorium Theatre)
April 17: Grand Prairie, Texas (Nokia Theatre)
April 19: Denver (Paramount Theatre)
April 22: Seattle (Benaroya Hall)
April 24: San Francisco (Davies Symphony Hall)
April 25: Los Angeles (Royce Hall Auditorium)

Britney vs. Us

Us published photos of the Spears' private honeymoon.

A furious Spears says in a statement: "Kevin and I chose a resort location where we were promised absolute privacy and seclusion. Unfortunately, staff members took photographs of us, which we allowed them to take once we were assured they were being taken only for private use in a scrap book they gave us as a souvenir. Other magazines, including Star, contacted us when presented with these photographs and refused to publish them. Kevin and I thank those other magazines for respecting our rights of privacy."


But defiant bosses at US Weekly hit back, "Coming from a celebrity who sold pictures of both her wedding and her stepdaughter, it's unlikely the issue here is privacy. Could it be that Britney is seeing red after not seeing the green from these photos? Britney Spears should start a magazine if she'd like to dictate her own coverage."


Thursday, February 17

The Pacifier

I admit it, this movie looks funny.

Shaun of the Dead

I didn't hear much about Shaun of the Dead when it was in theaters, just a few radio spots. I was skeptical that it was hilarious and scary at the same time. But it is.

I was going to explain a few scenes, but I don't want to ruin it. There are too few movies with such original and unexpected humor as this movie. Even the bonus features had me cracking up. Now rent this movie.

Survivor Snewz

Was supposed to be like nothing we'd ever seen before. Yawn. Whatever. Okay, so they started out with 20 instead of 18 or 16 and made them paddle to their island with the one male and one female gaining immunity by reaching the immunity necklace, on shore, first. Big Whoop. Team were chosen and the last two remaining were eliminated. Ba-bye Jonathon, Ba-bye Wanda.

Let's a take moment to thank The Higher Powers that Wanda was chosen last. I swear to God that if she lasted on that show another millisecond, i would have quit watching forever. Any woman who wears a freaking dress to a Survivor event has got to be a complete idiot. And furthermore, anyone who makes up "survivor songs" and sings them (if you can call her screeching that) as people are working very hard to row the damn boat into shore, deserves to be beaten to a pulp. Okay, I'm done now.

Survivors are now divided into two camps. The usual camp scenes are shown with one person being bossy and the others grumbling about them. Next, a challenge ensues with one team being really stupid and the other team winning. Yawn. Tribal Council is shown next and the loud, mouthy, bossy woman is canned. Surprise. Surprise.

I think it's clever when the gossip mags:

- Showcase the home of a "celebrity" (this week, Star features Janice Dickinson, of UPN's America's Next Top Model)

- Incorporate the word "friend" into any headline involving a former cast member of Friends

- Talk about Oprah's weight (how ground-breaking)

- Pretend to know what a celebrity is thinking based on their body language in a snap-shot photo

- Pretend pictures are timely, when I saw them in another gossip magazine 3 months ago (Star is the most guilty of this)

- Ask the question "Are Paris & Nicole Interns From Hell?"

- Review TV and movies, like their opinion matters

Do we really need this, America?

I'd like to point out the arrival of American Idol: The Magazine. As if that's not bad enough, Diana Degarmo is on the cover.

If anyone purchases this magazine for anything other than pure laughter, please stop reading Media Sluts right now. Thanks.

I'm sorry, but VOMIT

Venus Williams is in the 2005 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. What? Did they sell too many copies last year and they need to sell less this year? Cause you know what? I don't want to see her in anything less than a tennis uniform. And frankly, that's too little.

Another Alias View

TV Without Pity says:

I have no idea what happened in tonight's episode. Really. No idea. I got new contact lenses today and I spent most of the show squinting at the screen and wondering why Sydney's head was cowering beneath a big foggy square of cloudiness. But, as far as my murky eyes could make out, some Russian guy has his hands on some new explosive or chemical or something called "Black Thorine." So, of course, Syd and Nadia and their boyfriends have to go to Monte Carlo to get it. But, really most of the episode is mired down in the rather rocky sisterly relationship that comes about from Nadia being Sloane's daughter and Syd, you know, wanting to slit his throat with a dull X-Acto knife.

Oh, and the idea that spies are hot but sister spies are hotter than the dripping molten surface of a thousand burning suns is pretty much shoved down our throats from the moment Syd and Nadia start tandem target shooting. We get them shooting guns, showing off their spy smarts to their boyfriends, stealing dresses, looking sexy, drinking champers with Russian Guy's girlfriend, and cloning a computer drive and a PDA without breaking a sweat or getting caught. So. Sister spies. Hot. Mixing up episodes? Not.

In other news, Syd delivers a spitting speech about how much she detests Sloane right to his face, and all he can do is gently daub the saliva from his cheeks and wonder how soon he can go back to being a bastard and have her ass iced. Then the sisters have to, um, dive or something, in the Black Sea, in order to, um, go get the stolen chemical or whatever, but I suspect the real reasoning behind the dive is the slick, skin-skimming black wetsuits that they have to wear throughout the rest of the episode. Syd and Nadia single-handedly take down the entire ship and have a little sister bonding over some dead Russian guy's vodka. Syd winds up the entire episode with a little "I'll never forgive your sorry cobra ass but…see you tomorrow!" Then she grabs her hot little leather jacket, swaggers her hot little Bristow butt out to her buddies, and goes on yet another double date with her hot little sister and their drooling boyfriends. Man. I wish my day at the office would end like that. Instead of in tears, like it usually does.

What's My Alias, Bitch?

What a fun episode! I love Sydney and her South American sister teaming up to fight the baddies! I also like Sydney telling Sloane she doesn't trust him and never will. I am also intrigued what Sloane's next move is, since Dixon and now Sydney have both made it clear that they despise him. This season's got to be going somewhere, and I know it has to do with Sloane somehow someway. But how is Jack involved?

I think the whole sisters dating best friends plot is cute, too.

I could use a cliffhanger, though. That is what made this show so much fun at the start.

Oh yeah, looking forward to Sark and Anna Espinosa next week.

Due to Nyquil

I still need to watch Alias and Lost. I fell asleep halfway through Lost, which doesn't mean I wasn't enjoying it. It seemed like an exciting episode, but it may have just been my medication and its mind-altering effects.

Cold Medicine

Nyquil gives you funny dreams. But not as funny as TheraFlu, or as funny as both taken together.

Mariah Emails Her Fans...

I mean Lambs....

Hello Lambs,
We've got a brand new ecard for you to check out and send to your friends. We hope you enjoy it and are looking forward to "The Return Of The Voice" on April 12th as much as we are!

-Mariah Carey

Did Anyone Notice?

Britney won a Grammie. For best dance track ("Toxic"). I can live with that.

Drudge Sucks Rock

Drudge Report is all of the sudden posting all these nasty things Christ Rock is saying and trying to piss off the Academy for having him as host. Problem is... these things that Chris Rock is supposedly saying? He said in 1991.

Way to be timely, Drudge.

I love fun Spielberg

but there's nothing quite like serious Spielberg. His next:

For his next project, the Oscar-winning director has decided to tackle the thorny issue of terrorism, announcing that he will start work this summer on an as-yet untitled Universal Pictures drama about the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The film was initially slated to be in the works by now, but Spielberg temporarily shelved it after Tom Cruise became available and the two agreed to ramp up production on War of the Worlds, which began filming in November.

The delay gave Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner more time to polish the script, which was originally written by Forrest Gump's Eric Roth and Charles Randolph, who wrote the upcoming thriller The Interpreter.

The story reportedly is based on the account of a former agent of the Mossad--Israel's intelligence agency--of the day five Arab terrorists calling themselves Black September stormed the Olympic Village and took 11 Israeli athletes hostage.

The hostages were killed during a botched rescue operation by German authorities. Police captured three of the terrorists alive, but they were released after Palestinian terrorists hijacked a Lufthansa flight and traded their hostages for the jailed Olympic plotters.

The tragedy led to Israel's creation of the Mossad, whose agents hunted down and killed many of those responsible for the Munich incident.

The Daily Show and The White House Jigalo

Priceless. Check it out.

Wednesday, February 16

The Boss

New album in April!!

Aww, George Michael

He's saying farewell to the entertainment world. I guess he didn't notice it when the entertainment world said goodbye to him in 1995.

I'm Young & Wealthy!

As many as 22 million American adults, or about 11 percent of the U.S. population, own iPods or other MP3 players, a new study has found. The study, carried out by the nonprofit Pew Internet & American Life Project through phone interviews of more than 2,200 people, showed that those who are younger, wealthier and use the Internet are more likely to own such gadgets.

Did that article just say I am "younger and wealthier"?????????
Jen... proud iPod owner

Home Sick Network

I am home sick today, and there's NOTHING on TV. When I become a network exec, I'm going to start a channel called The Home Sick Network, and it will have the best programming on all day (I envision Saved by the Bell, The Cosby Show, Ellen's talk show, old SNL skits, and the best dating shows).

J. Lo Low Down

Superstar Jennifer Lopez has cancelled her trip to London and forthcoming European album tour because of a mystery illness. The Latina actress and singer was due to promote her latest movie, the hit romantic comedy Shall We Dance, with Richard Gere today at a press conference and gala premiere, but has pulled out. Citing an unspecified illness, Lopez – who performed at Sunday’s Grammy awards alongside husband Marc Anthony – apologised for her absence from her forthcoming commitments. In a statement issued to journalists, Jennifer says, "I very much wanted to be in London today, but unfortunately I am not well. "At the advice of my doctors I am unable to travel. Being sick has also forced me to cancel my European album tour. Please accept my sincerest apologies as I have to remain in Los Angeles."

She's sick???? WE'RE sick of her!!!! She can't sing. She can't act. Make her go away!

Tuesday, February 15

Breaking "Lost" News

Kristin was on E! News tonight with the following report:

Vincent (the dog) will have an episode devoted to him. Apparently it will show the story from the cargo section through his eyes, and will be "very relavent".

Sayid scores with Shannon

Hurley is a lottery winner

Charlie and Kate are a thang in real life

Kristin says the character who is killed is a much beloved, major character. Their death and the way it happens, will leave you heartbroken.

Take That!

Star Jones Reynolds' coverage of red carpet arrivals for E! only got her so much juice at the Grammy after-parties. A music industry source tattled that Star "had her assistant call all the music labels and RSVP herself plus four guests. But the thing was, she wasn't invited. People had to call her back and tell her, 'Sorry, the party is only for artists and label executives.'

bwahhhh! haaaa! haaaaa!

What's Next, Amnesia?

Michael Jackson Hospitalized With Flu. Delays jury selection until next week.


KLATU2224: so what's up
PKPHI: nothing
PKPHI: what's up there
PKPHI: i keep listening to that west indian girl song
KLATU2224: ha ah
KLATU2224: well...I'm being lazy.
KLATU2224: i woke up this morning at 6...stayed up til 8:30...then napped until 20 mins ago.
PKPHI: haha, good for you
KLATU2224: yay
KLATU2224: ugh...our takeover people are getting stupid now.
PKPHI: how so?
KLATU2224: I will not be attending the tea dance that has a $12 cover this Sunday.
KLATU2224: it's slowly turning clubby...which is why I liked it orginally (no club).
KLATU2224: bah
PKPHI: that sucks
KLATU2224: lol
KLATU2224: what should I eat?
PKPHI: why do all things gay mean club
KLATU2224: that's why i'm disappointed....for 4 months it hasn't been that way. Hopefully this event will be a flop...and they'll never do it again.
PKPHI: chipotle
KLATU2224: we don't have Chipotle here.
PKPHI: have a kabob
KLATU2224: an ass kabob

Do You Trust Your Tattoo?

Monday, February 14

Long Lost Teen Idols Found

Check out this week's Us. Richard Grieco and Corey Haim are FREAKY now.

Defense Witnesses

The defense witness list in Michael Jackson's trial includes Jackson's own children and a variety of celebrities, among them Kobe Bryant, Elizabeth Taylor, illusionist David Blaine, TV newsman Ed Bradley, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and relatives of actor Marlon Brando.

His own children? An illusionist? Kobe Bryant?

Hair Report

Pink and Michael Moore have the worst hair in showbiz. That's the word from the 11th annual Sally Beauty CelebHead survey that honored glamour girl Julia Roberts and perennial "Sexiest Man Alive" George Clooney with having the best hair in Hollywood. The Harris Interactive poll surveyed 1,023 adults nationwide on which celebrities have the best and worst hairstyles, as well as the worst reality show hairstyles.

Female Celebrities with the Best Hairstyle:
1. Julia Roberts
2. Jennifer Aniston
3. Jennifer Lopez

Female Celebrities with the Worst Hairstyle:
1. Pink
2. Lil' Kim
3. Nicole Richie
(where's Britney?)

Male Celebrities with the Best Hairstyle:
1. George Clooney
2. Sean Connery (huh? he beat Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey, etc, etc.....)
3. Colin Farrell

Male Celebrities with the Worst Hairstyle:
1. Michael Moore
2. Dr. Phil (can you really vote for someone with NO hair?)
3. Eminem

Female Reality Show Celebrities with the Worst Hairstyle:
1. Nicole Richie, "The Simple Life"
2. Caroline Rhea, "The Biggest Loser"
3. Kelly Clarkson, "American Idol"

Male Reality Show Celebrities with the Worst Hairstyle:
1. Donald Trump, "The Apprentice"
2. Simon Cowell, "American Idol"
3. Jay London, "Last Comic Standing"


SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- Mary Kay Letourneau plans to marry the former sixth-grade pupil with whom she had two children. Letourneau, 43, and Vili Fualaau, 22, set a wedding date of April 16, according to their registry at a department store. Letourneau served 7 1/2 years on a 1997 conviction for raping Fualaau, who has said in the past that he hoped to wed his former teacher.

Is anyone else as sickened by this as me?

My Grammy Fave's

Melissa Etheridge and Joss Stone. Totally awesome.
Alicia Keys and Jamie Foxx. Amazing.
Kathy Griffin. Hysterical (lose the dowdy hair-do, though)
Also loved Queen Latifah as host. Classy lady.

Sunday, February 13

Other than J. Lo

It's been a good show so far. U2 rocked, of course. The opening number was clever, with Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani & Eve, Maroon 5 and Franz Ferdinand. All of these bands (with the exception of M5) know what stage presence is. Alicia Keyes with Jamie Foxx (of all people) was outstanding! That guy is so talented, I just wish he would stop reminding people he's black all the time. We know. You're talented, isn't that all that matters?

Star vs. Kathy


Kathy Griffins is so funny, I can barely take it. She asks the most inappropriate questions. The interviewees have no idea how to respond, you can see desperation and embarassment in the air. E! needs to keep her on staff.

"Is it fair that you're nominated for four Grammies and Lindsay Lohan isn't nominated for any?"

"Who are you most excited to see lip-sync tonight?"

My headache just got worse

God Damn, why did J. Lo and Marc Antony need to perform together? She can't sing. (At least it was obvious she wasn't lip-syncing). And re-enacting whatever it is that goes on in their bedroom is completely unnecessary.


They're on tonight. I'm going to watch them live while I tivo my Sunday night programs.

Expect Ray Charles to win big.


I can't be the only one who forwards through everything but Weekend Update and the musical performances, can I? Even when Jason Bateman is on, this show is not very funny.


Kristin at E! has some scoop you may not want to hear:

Not so ticklish: The word I got this week on exactly which castmember gets killed off. I can tell you this: It is a well loved, much swooned over main character.

You guys are gonna die.

Say What?

Sharon Stone is writing and producing a song that will benefit the tsuanmi victims. That's nice of her and all, but is she a little bit crazy or what?

Boogie Nights

I can't wait to see "Inside Deep Throat." It sounds like an intriguing documentary. And for the record, I've never seen "Deep Throat."


She's engaged. Any good jokes?

Saturday, February 12

Better Than O-Town

My friends Ryan and Kevin are in a band. Check it out.

Friday, February 11

Usher sure knows how to use his head

From Page Six:

Looks like Usher is well and truly over his split with Naomi Campbell. The hunky singer was recently involved in a sixsome at the Sanderson hotel in London, says model Joanna Bond, 19. When she walked into the star's room she found "three men and three women interlocked on the bed," Britain's News of the World reports. Bond, who said she was "powerless to resist," added, "He has a fantastic body. He obviously works very hard at it and is very proud of it. His six-pack was amazing. And he's impressively built where it matters, too."

Um, Gross?

E! Online:

WHO'S BAD: Corey Feldman revealing that Michael Jackson showed him pornography when he visited Neverland Ranch as a young teenager, according to excerpts of his interview with ABC's Martin Bashir airing Friday. Feldman was subpoenaed by prosecutors in Jackson's child-molestation trial last week, his manager said Thursday.

The O.C.

This episode really pissed me off.

1.) Sandy made out with an ex-girlfriend from 20 years ago. Damnit, the Cohens are "the rock" in this show. Kirsten is justifiably pissed, and so is everyone that watches this show

2.) Seth is a pussy and should've told Summer how he felt

3.) Summer's dumbass boyfriend went from being totally oblivious to feeling insecure about Seth. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DUMBASS?!

4.) Mirissa needs to stop making out with the girl that is only hot if you are into Playboy models. That was just so there to increase ratings.

Overall though, still enjoyable!

Arrested Development developments

"We at Fox love Arrested Development and we look forward to having the Bluth family back on Fox in the future--hopefully for many years," Fox Broadcasting entertainment president Gail Berman said Thursday.

During May sweeps, Arrested Development will be replaced by another show. Appearing on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live early Thursday, comic David Cross--Arrested's sexually ambiguous Tobias--said that he hoped Fox would come up with something original to sub for his show, "like, you know, America's Cutest Retards."

And thank God for the New York Times for clearing this one up: "Arrested Development really is very funny."

Also, Jason Bateman will host SNL this weekend!

Grammy Special Edition Part I

J. Lo and M. Antony will perform at the Grammies for the first time as husband and wife. I hope this means they'll be singing.

Duran Duran

I just love their new CD. Too bad I'm 22 years late!

TV's Hottest New Reality Show

This site has me laughing my ass off. Fake journalists are all the rage, thanks to the propoganda-likin' Bush White House.

Check out The Next Top Fake Reporter!!

Thursday, February 10

Yes, Mother, California is part of the U.S.

My mom called last night to tell me that, if we get American Idol out in California, I should watch because she was one of the contestant's kindergarten teacher.

Oh My God, the Sky is Falling!

Prince Charles is getting remarried.

Happens everyday, folks. Happens everyday.

(However, most people don't pay to have their ex-wife killed in the process. Only royalty does that.)

Lost Thoughts

Dan... Dan... Dan.... you missed so much last night! There were many clues!

First, there must be a system of tunnels on that island. How else can Ethan rise up out of the ground and try to capture Claire? Same goes for the ocean. Remember the drowning woman who was an experienced diver? Steve/Scott getting beaten to a pulp and Ethan escaping unnoticed? What about the cable Sayid was following into the water (and then he was suddenly captured by Danielle?). There must be a portal out there that Danielle and Ethan have used. We're still unsure what the metal box thing is that Locke & Boone discovered. I suggest it's part of an underground tunnel system or something similar.

Secondly, have you noticed that water seems to be a common theme? Seeing "dead" pilot in puddle of water. Woman drowning in ocean. French woman's song "La Mer" (The Sea), Coastline is encroaching further inland, Two fights between Jack & Ethan were both while raining, Jack was led to the cave by 'his father' to a place with fresh running water.... a place where Charlie later convinced Claire to go, Locke always seems to know when its going to rain

Next, did you notice that there 4-5 references to "The Others" when the castaways referred to themselves as "the others". I don't think this could possibly be a coincidence. Up until this point we have always thought of "the others" as being the bad guys, people from before the plane crash. Danielle accussed Sayid of being one of "the others." It's got to be significant.

And yet more..... The number 815. Boone's t-shirt in "Raised by Another" read 815 in Chinese characters. Their Flight was 815. Kate's deposit box was 815. Charlie's copy machine he puked on was C815.

I also think Jin knows Sun can speak English and I think Sun is pregnant.

Lachey Sashay

Jessica Simpson is denying rumors of any impending split with husband Nick Lachey -- again. After tabloids ran pictures of Lachey, 31, surrounded by cheerleaders at a Super Bowl party in Jacksonville, Fla., and reports of a dinner with ex-girlfriend Jordana Jarjura, Simpson says their difficulties have been greatly exaggerated.
"I trust Nick totally, and he trusts me," Simpson told Us Weekly magazine in an issue hitting newsstands Friday. "We are committed to our relationship."

Wonder how long they'll continue to deny the rumors? Anyone willing to place a wager?


Will something please happen on this show? I'm losing my patience.

However, they did kill Tom Cruise's cousin, which means we'll probably never know why Claire was kidnapped or what happened to her.


This episode rocked! I thought it was going to be lame (vampires? come on!) but it was great (mind-altering drugs? yeah!).

Sydney got bit in the neck by a missing CIA agent who had taken a drug that puts you in a violent dream state, and the drug was transfered to her. Vaughn and Jack rush to get the antecdote before she is completely taken over by the drug, as Sydney gradually becomes pretty f'in nasty! (She almost kills both of them.)

Meanwhile, Dixon tells Sloan that he knows something's up, and that he'll be there when Sloan turns back over to the dark side. And Sydney's Argentinian half sister (will someone please explain to me how she is Argentinian?) almost sleeps with Agent Weiss! Best episode yet (of season four)!!!

Bush's Male Whore

Journalism is media, so I'm reporting to you now that a male prostitute has infiltrated the Bush White House Press Corps. I'm not even kidding. This has all the qualities that a good scandal should include, and a male whore is way more scandalous than a fat intern with a beret. Check out AmericaBlog which has been keeping track of this developing story.


Does anyone else think this movie will suck? I really do not enjoy movies with special effects that are supposed to be scary, but instead they just look fake.

Corey Feldman

Is anyone else looking forward to his 20/20 interview on Friday? My tivo is already set.

Now the question is... where the hell is Corey Haim?

Super Bowl

I forgot to bring this up before...

My favorite spot was the one with the cat and the guy cooking pasta for his lady. I also enjoyed the monkeys (no matter what company they were pushing). Pepsi had some good commercials, and Cindy Crawford and Carson from Queer Eye were hilarious for whatever soda company the commercial was for (Diet Coke? Diet Pepsi?).

GoDaddy was the worst, as well as whatever that nut company was.

And don't even get me started on the halftime show. At least it wasn't everyone and their mother like the last few years, but come on, The Beatles? As well as the music has aged (I can hear Franz Ferdinand putting out these songs now and they'd still be fresh), Paul McCartney is not exciting. Although I have to admit he's a vast improvement over Janet's nasty right breast.

North Korea Has Nukes

And Marcia Cross is not gay.

Lack of Posts

My back went out on Sunday and I'm very fragile :) I'm also interviewing for a huge job at one of my favorite entertainment magazines, so that has been taking up a lot of my time.

Thanks for stepping it up, Jen!

Wednesday, February 9


STAR Jones Reynolds — watch your furry back! People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals took note of Bridezilla's ample showing of fur at her wedding and at red-carpet events. The group has hired drag queen Flotilla DeBarge, "The Empress of Large," to "parody the gluttonous newlywed" in a new ad campaign, said a PETA rep. "I've been asked in the past to impersonate Star Jones at parties, so I thought I might as well do it to make a point," says DeBarge.

Bwaaaaa Haaaa Haaaaa Haaaa Haaaa..... this is too funny!!

Tuesday, February 8

Start My Engine!

Ladies, if you haven't yet joined the NASCAR crowd, here's the perfect opportunity......

Matthew McConaughey was selected the Grand Marshal for the Daytona 500. The actor will give the command "Drivers, start your engines" at the Feb. 20 race in Florida.

If nothing else, you can drool over Mr. McConaughey and then let the droning of the cars put you to sleep so you can take a nice little nap.


Singer Elton John's face will begin appearing on 20 AirTran jets.

Really wish I could come up with something funny here, but I can't.

This could get interesting....

Seems Corey Feldman is beginning to re-think the friendship he had with Michael Jackson years ago.

In an exclusive interview with Martin Bashir, Feldman, now 33, speaks out with surprising new claims about his relationship with Jackson. The actor has stood by Jackson until now. He tells Bashir why he is now coming forward with allegations about their friendship. "I started looking at each piece of information, and with that came this sickening realization that there have been many occurrences in my life and in my relationship to Michael that have created a question of doubt."

The interview will air on "20/20" this Friday, February 11.

Burt Reynolds Gone Bad

Take a look at this picture!

Ack! Run away!! Hide the children!

Lena Olin and more...

Possibly the best character in Alias (in a show full of great characters) is Lena Olin's Derevko. So her return would be freakin' awesome! From Chat With Kristin:

From katherine: Did you hear the news? Lena Olin is in talks to come back to Alias for two episodes. Spoil it, pretty girl! Spoil it!

Kristin: I've heard that they've approached her once again, but so far, no commitment. Frankly, given everything they offered last time (a ridiculous chunk o' change), I'd be surprised if she were to sign on. But I'm nonetheless holding my breath, crossing my fingers and praying to the almighty telly god.

Also about Alias:

From rjbrown2020: So, Jennifer Garner won a SAG Award! How cool is that! Finally a person who deserves the award actually wins!

Kristin: I know! So thrilled for her, as she clearly has acting chops--the public-at-large can forget that with all the Bennifer-Elektrafer nonsense. A cute little tidbit: I'm told that as Garner was waiting her turn to walk the red carpet yesterday, the friend with her snapped, "Ugh, Look at this line. We don't have to wait in this. Come on." But Jen, ever so gracious, pulled her back and said, "No, it's okay. I can wait." Seems her good karma paid off, no? Also, later that night, FYI, she met up with Ben, at an after-party thrown by his agent.

Desperate Housewives:

From bianca_j: Anything on Desperate Housewives? There is a rumor going around the Internet that one of the actresses is going to come out in the May issue of The Advocate.
Kristin: Hmmm. I hadn't heard that, and I'm not outing anyone.

From shutuprob: How true are all the gay rumors surrounding Desperate Housewives?
Kristin: A Desperate Housewives character is gay.

From taranoelle: Any hints on the gay character? Come on...
Kristin: It's someone we already know who gets caught in a very shocking position with someone we meet...and they are both males. And it all happens in the place where all great things happen on Desperate the pool.

The O.C.:

From skeenan923: Is it just me, or is Marissa on The O.C. getting less and less likable? I used to want her and Ryan together, but now I'm hoping he'll stay away! Any scoop on the status of their relationship?

Kristin: Sadly, they are not over. Neither are Seth and Summer. They lock lips in the next few weeks, but not before Seth endures some serious pain. Also, supposedly Marissa's little sis is getting a spinoff. Kaitlin Cooper, who conveniently disappeared at some point last season, is coming back to Newport in the not-so-distant future with hopes of launching her own series depicting the struggles of boarding school. With any luck, she'll take big sis with her! Julie Cooper's got some serious secrets to spoil. Let's just say that a lad named Lance drops by Newport, threatening to spill something that the new Mrs. Nichol doesn't need publicized. Johnny Messner, the actor playing Lance, told me at Fox's White Hot Winter party that, "Julie's got skeletons of the Paris Hilton sex tape sort." Also, Ryan isn't the only Atwood in The O.C. this season. Look for the return of his bro, whom we haven't seen since early season one, before spring.

Armstrong-Crow Update

Their appearance on Oprah is scheduled for Friday, February 11th.

Monday, February 7

Another Bachelorette Bites The Dust

So much for The Bachelorette's much-ballyhooed perfect relationship record. Last year's The Bachelorette 2 couple is no more, with Meredith Phillips and Ian McKee having announced recently that they have ended their relationship.

Not only did Bachelorette co-executive producer Lisa Levenson brag that Meredith and Ian would be "getting married this year" during her pre-Bachelorette 3 promotional interviews with the show broadcasting similar claims during its promos, but current bachelorette Jen Schefft also cited The Bachelorette's then-perfect 2 for 2 matchmaking record as one of her reasons for agreeing to participate in the third edition.

Is Jen Schefft delusional or just plain stupid?

Ma & Pa Ingalls

ABC is bringing the famous 1970s series, "Little House on the Prairie", back in a special, short-form series that begins next month. This time, the series will be much closer to the original Laura Ingalls Wilder books, the network says.

If the series does well in the ratings, expect to see it come back as a full-fledged series next fall, insiders say.

OMG!! My all-time favorite show. Loved the books, too!! Very exciting information!

Sheryl Crow Alert!!

Oprah will also offer the first sit-down interview with Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow since they became "a couple." In this outing, Oprah and Lance hit the bicycle path together and Crow will debut her new song to Armstrong called "I Know Why."

Not sure when it will air, but sounds like sometime this month.

Networks Pledge Restraint

NEW YORK - There was a sinking feeling last week when CNN, Fox News Channel and MSNBC all trained their cameras on a California street to catch Michael Jackson returning from a lunch break during jury selection at his molestation trial. Is this what the next few months are going to be like? (um... I think I posted something here, saying as much) Many in television insist not. While they expect Jackson's upcoming trial to be newsworthy, they don't see it becoming a national obsession, and don't expect to cover it as such. (uh, yeah.... right....)

"It's certainly not going to dominate our air, not the way that O.J. did and not when you think of all the other things that we're dealing with as a nation, like terrorism, the state of the war, the tsunami," said Mark Effron, vice president of news and daytime programming at MSNBC (didn't stop 'em from smashing the Peterson case into our faces each and every day). Jackson may be one of the world's biggest stars, but there are several reasons why TV programmers aren't anticipating a case that will grab interest like Simpson's murder trial, or even Scott Peterson's. One is simple logistics. With cameras not allowed, viewers can't get engrossed in the action themselves, or see compelling characters like Johnnie Cochran or Judge Ito develop. (doesn't stop 'em from talking to the people who were present in the courtroom, like they did in the Peterson case)

"Because there are no cameras in the courtroom, it's going to lack a certain sizzle," said Jonathan Klein, CNN chief executive. "A lot of the buzz is going to be manufactured rather than real. (isn't this normally the case?) Therefore, you might see a dwindling of interest."

While many viewers could relate to Laci and Scott Peterson as personalities, and become engrossed in a murder mystery, that's not the case with the oddball Jackson, he said. (I think because he is an oddball is why the media is all over this case!)

Then there's the "yuck factor." Molestation is repellent, and certainly doesn't promote watercooler talk, Klein said. Since such allegations have long dogged Jackson, there's little shock value. (oh, so is that why we got the play-by-play on what Jackson was wearing on his first day in court?)

"There will be some interest in this case, don't get me wrong, but there will not be the constant national fascination that we have seen in a lot of other trials," Abrams said. (no, the constant national fascination is being manufactured by the networks and other media outlets... constantly jamming it down our throats)

In other words, if there's great public interest in the case, it hasn't manifested itself yet. But things change. Some dramatic testimony from Jackson, a few unexpected revelations, and the spotlight can become brighter. (gee, what a surprise)

Sunday, February 6

Force Me To Read This

And I'll Kill Myself... Here is possibly the worst article ever written, from today's NY Daily Post:

February 6, 2005 -- BYE-BYE, AT&T. Hello, lousy service. I'm sorry to see AT&T disconnect. We can thank the Carter administration for that. I mean, Carter didn't care. Only time anyone ever calls him is when some 4-F country is basting together an election. The other brain to thank is that judge who ruled against the AT&T monopoly. Him we should have given $200 and let him pass "Go."

AT&T was this country's gold standard. Widows invested in it. Alexander Graham Bell made a portfolio of it. Don Ameche made a career of it. Next to the Mickey Mice who went after Martha, it was the most efficient network ever devised.

A person could actually get a human on it who'd actually locate the number of an office in, say, Bucharest, when you wished to speak to a friend working there. Now, without these digits already in your possession, on hand, in advance, plus the overseas code, country code, city code, area code and callee's ATM PIN number, you can't call them. You can't even call an operator!

You need to go online. This means for one lousy phone call, you have to have a computer. You have to be technologically savvy. You have to wait for Windows to boot, log on to the Internet, discover your service provider is, for some reason, not providing service that day and, by the time you get it all together, you've decided you're not crazy about this person in the first place, don't know why you're blowing all this money to speak to them, they don't appreciate you anyhow, so the hell with them — and you never make the call.

Bye-bye, Ma Bell. I already miss you even though I lost money on your stock. But then, I miss so much that's newly wrenched from me. I miss Pan Am, TWA, Eastern, Sabena, Swissair. I miss Le Cirque, Lutece, La Cote Basque, the Russian Tea Room. I miss something that was Yugoslavia and is today a chow mein of Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Slovenia. I miss Tom Brokaw and Dick Grasso. Well, Brokaw, anyway. And I'm soon to miss The Plaza hotel I knew. Entering this august, glorious, historic famous grande dame in the future to buy a pair of drawers on sale in a department store? Hellooooo!?

I long for those relics like, for instance, a motion picture that ends after 90 minutes. Forget large checkered yellow cabs. How about English-speaking cabbies? Going back a ways, how about UPI and that other initialed organization that once was so valid — CIA? The Burma Road is now The Myanmar Road. Bombay is now Mumbai. Madras is now Chennai. Kirstie Alley is now fat. Even patience doesn't exist anymore. It's bye-bye, AT&T, and bye-bye, Social Security. Modernization is breaking up that old gang of mine.

And let mother tell you what we have in exchange, kiddies. I needed a phone-service installation. Whom do you call? Lucent? Avaya? Nextel? Nokia? IT&T, Southwestern Bell? Northeastern Bell? Rocky Mountain Bell? Newark Bell? Bell, You Is My Woman Now? T-Mobile? Cingular? Comcast? Qwest? SBC? Verizon? Sprint? Screw? Who? I ended up requiring four different companies. One set of dwarfs just ran wire upstairs from the basement. Other Lilliputians then ran the lines to my telephone outlets. Someone else did the equipment. Someone else repaired the equipment. Someone else broke the equipment. Someone else suggested I shove the equipment.

My own techie mislaid the manual on actually how to equip this equipment. He couldn't program it once we got it. They said a new manual is $65. We said we owned a dozen telephones and shouldn't that entitle us to a free manual? They said, "No." We asked, "Why?" They said, "Because." We asked, "Can't we just go online and get it?" They said, "Sure." We went online. The information that came back was: "You can get a manual for $65."

Last year, cellphones in India zoomed 260 percent. Ten Asian markets sold 163 million handsets. America sold 129 million. And all of them — ALL — are in my neighborhood, in my elevators, in my restaurants, in my face and on my nerves.

And the hotels. I called one. The voice said: "Good afternoon . . . no, sorry, I meant good evening . . . this is the So-and-so Hotel, a division of the Inter-International Hotel Group, the weather is 32 degrees Celsius and my name is Florence, how may I assist you?" How may you assist me? By getting off the phone, idiot! All I want is to talk to the person I'm calling. If I wanted to talk to you, I'd call you direct!

And don't even discuss the brilliance of whatever cockroach had the idea of bisecting Manhattan's 212 with 646. May they dial an airline and be put on hold forever.

I wonder if Candice Bergen ever really used Sprint or Catherine Zeta-Jones ever really uses T-Mobile. In any case, AT&T? I really don't like you anymore — but I really will miss you.
From E! Online:

U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jr. issuing open letter to members of the band's fan club who were shut out of presale tickets to the band's upcoming Vertigo tour -- a perk that the paid membership was meant to ensure. "The idea that our longtime U2 fans and scalpers competed for U2 tickets through our own Website is appalling to me," Mullen wrote. "I want to apologize to you who have suffered that."

He also added at the end:

"By the way, a note to those so-called U2 fans who are quick to accuse U2 of unseemly behaviour, I've only got two words for you..."

I am back to loving U2, but the only way I'm going to see their concert is if I a) win tickets b) get free tickets or c) they come back to the U.S. and I successfully get tickets.

By the way, I called and emailed Ticketmaster a billion times to find out what the fuck happened with the scalpers. Besides a few computer-generated responses, I heard nothing from them. Why does this company exist? I am going to begin a letter writing campaign to the CEO of Ticketmaster, as well as U.S. Senators. They essentially have a monopoly and that is not good for people who like music.

SAG Winners


Actor: Jamie Foxx, "Ray."
Actress: Hilary Swank, "Million Dollar Baby."
Supporting actor: Morgan Freeman, "Million Dollar Baby."
Supporting actress: Cate Blanchett, "The Aviator."
Cast: "Sideways."


Actor in a movie or miniseries: Geoffrey Rush, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers."
Actress in a movie or miniseries: Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter."
Actor in a drama series: Jerry Orbach, "Law & Order."
Actress in a drama series: Jennifer Garner, "Alias."
Actor in a comedy series: Tony Shalhoub, "Monk."
Actress in a comedy series: Teri Hatcher, "Desperate Housewives."
Drama series cast: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation."
Comedy series cast: "Desperate Housewives."

I kind of like these winners, although I don't think CSI or Monk should ever be nominated for anything again. And let's face it, Jerry Orbach won because he died. I'm glad J. Garner won, but it was kind of insulting when Sean Hayes called her "Elektra." It's like, "You won best actress and you're great in Alias, but that doesn't excuse you for making the worst movie of the year."

Show Me Some Skin!

I am so sick and tired of hearing about how the Superbowl halftime is going to be "family friendly" and that there will be no nudity. Honestly! Does anyone think for a moment that the broadcasters and producers will allow it? It's going to be so far in the other direction, it's ridiculous.

Just for spite I'd like to see some nudity. Just for the hell of it.

late night IM's

i tivo'ed little house on the prairie just to see jason bateman.
omg....that's hillarious
he was an ugly kid
i am so michael jackson
and i'm so courtney love
hahaha she's so fat now!
have you seen her in those trashy mags?
of course
but she got her daughter
she's taking a course in anna nicole
"not without my daughter" starring sally field
i thought foo fighters were raisin' the daughter
ha, the foo fighters?

Friday, February 4

Jen Fights to Get Brad Back

Star's cover

Brad Wants Jen Back

Us Weekly's cover

J. Garner

In about the dumbest story I've ever read on, a writer claims Jennifer is going to quit the film industry to pursue other career goals:

"I want a graduate degree, I want to be a business woman, an investment banker, a writer, a pianist. I really wish I could cook. I've never had specific goals in life. I don't say, 'I'd like my next step to be this', and then write it down and go after it. Actually, I don't write anything down. I just think things to myself and they actually start to happen. So watch out."

Does anyone really talk like that? Does Garner have A.D.D? Is the writer making shit up?

Wet Dream of a Movie

If you haven't heard of the Chinese film Internal Affairs, you should rent it. It's about two undercover cops both attempting to bring down a crime boss. Martin Scorcese is doing a remake. Jack Nicholson will play an Irish crime boss, and Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon will play the opposing undercover cops. Mark Wahlberg is also going to be in the movie.

Fuckin' Aye!

MJ Headline

Here's a headline from from AP: "Jackson Says Celebrity Made Him Target." I guess that sounds better than "Jackson Says Sleeping With Little Boys Made Him Target."

Yet Another Peterson Book

He must have really pissed her off, huh?

MODESTO, Calif. (AP) -- The half sister of convicted murderer Scott Peterson has written a book about the "untold story" of the case - and why she believes he's guilty, her publisher announced Thursday. The book by Anne Bird, "Blood Brother: 33 Reasons My Brother, Scott Peterson, is Guilty," will go on sale March 1. The publisher says it will detail "the untold story of Scott, Laci and the Peterson family." Bird was adopted at birth, and reunited with her birth mother, Jackie Peterson, and half brother, Scott, in 1997, according to a statement from ReganBooks, a division of HarperCollins

Kabbalah or the Highway

MADONNA ditched her pal Debi Mazar when Mazar expressed doubts about kabbalah, and now the Material Mom is cutting off family members who won't follow her spiritual path. reports Madonna no longer lends a helping hand to brother Christopher Ciccone, who worked for her Maverick Label for years. Nor is she speaking with siblings Martin, Anthony, Paula, Melanie, Mario and Jennifer Ciccone, because they won't join the mystical movement. Brother Christopher, always the closest to the singer, is said to be "struggling."