Tuesday, February 28
Sia's "Breathe Me" ended Six Feet Under brilliantly.
Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah is one weird band.
Danger Doom put out a quirky, fun album called "The Mouse and the Mask" based on Adult Swim!
Madonna made up for a shitty American Life with "Confessions from a Dancefloor"
Death Cab For Cutie made another good one ("Plans").
Sufjan Stevens and Fiona Apple, I can't stop listening to either you.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (probably my new favorite band) put out a helluvan album called "Howl."
Franz Ferdinand is making it hard for other bands to come up with such great guitar hooks!
Gorillaz and Sigur Ros put out some of the most interesting stuff.
...another band that is now one of my favorites: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead...
AND the best concerts:
-U2 (of course)
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (tight)
-Ray LaMontagne (wonderful acoustic)
And that's all for now.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
Looking over this list, it hasn't been a great year for movies. (I mean... the list should be much longer!)
BUT I still have to see:
Good Night & Good Luck
Hustle & Flow
Biggest Let Down (that I saw):
(I usually stay away from movies I think I won't like.)
Jack Johnson: Sing-a-longs & Lullabies For the Film Curious George
James Blunt: Back to Bedlam
Richard Ashcroft: Keys to the World
Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures
13 & God: 13 & God
Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Animal Collective: Feels
Say Anything: Is a Real Boy
Plus singles/b-sides from:
First off and most importantly, Amazing Race 9 debuts with a two-hour premier tonight on CBS at 9pm
Deal or No Deal is on tonight. I have not watched the show but hear it's quite entertaining. It's on NBC and starts at 8pm.
8pm on FOX brings us American Idol. Love this show. Definitely has a spot on my season pass.
For those still subjecting themselves to the train wreck called the Real World, it premiers tonight at 10pm on MTV. I used to look forward to this show. Now it's become a complete parody of itself and is no longer worth watching.
And finally a couple oddball tidbits....
We learn that Fear Factor may not be coming back. Was anyone even watching this? It's so like, 3 years ago.
And last night we learned Travis picked Sarah. I predict they will stay together for the obligatory publicity tour and then go their separate ways. Can anyone tell me why this show is still on the air?
Monday, February 27
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as he…just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
1. THE ISLAND: It's Alive!
Our theory of Lost begins with the question posed in the pilot by smack-addled rocker Charlie: ''Guys...where are we?'' Some have argued that the island could be a hallucination — ''A Psychological Shipwreck,'' to use the title of an 1879 short story by Lost-linked author Ambrose Bierce. Or an alien twilight zone. It's tempting to go with ''limbo'' — an elastic enough idea to corral the show's incredible coincidences and odd details, like a smoke monster and a band of child-swiping Others. But we believe the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 aren't stuck in a mass delusion or a satanic mousetrap. They're alive on the island. A haunted island. And it was made that way by the Dharma Initiative.
2. THE DHARMA INITIATIVE: Head Games
What we know about Dharma is incomplete at best, utterly bogus at worst. According to a choppy ''orientation film'' found in the hatch, Dharma founders Gerald and Karen DeGroot established a research facility on the island in the 1970s to conduct experiments in meteorology, zoology, electromagnetism, psychology, and parapsychology — a dubious science that believes the brain houses mind-over-matter powers. (Think X-Men, Jedi Knights, and sci-fi author Robert Heinlein, whose 1941 short story Lost Legacy is about kids realizing their psychic potential under the tutelage of — COINCIDENCE ALERT! — Ambrose Bierce.) Our theory is that intentionally or not, the Dharma team pulled loose psychic powers from one of its test subjects — skip to No. 5 for the answer about who that might be — with disastrous results. How? With fear. Where? Where else, down in...
3. THE HATCH: Human Testing
The orientation film claims the hatch was originally used to study the island's ''unique'' electromagnetic energy. And indeed, there is a curious wall that seems to be humming with the stuff. But the filmstrip also states that the DeGroots were following B.F. Skinner, a psychologist famous for his Skinner boxes: controlled environments used to study animal behavior. Folks, the hatch is a human Skinner box.
Why wasn't this mentioned in the orientation film? Because the orientation film is part of the experiment! The film was fiction, designed to induce paranoia and fear and observe the test subject's reaction. What Dharma was studying was the behavior every Lost fanatic engages in: the human imperative to organize seemingly random details into some kind of order. The problem is that someone — someone we haven't seen or met yet — was put in the hatch and had a psychic break of world-altering proportions.
4. THE NUMBERS: Those Damn Yankees!
It has been Lost's most baffling conundrum: the seemingly inexplicable connection between Hurley's havoc-causing Lotto picks — 4 8 15 16 23 42 — and the hatch's computer code. This is a two-part riddle. First, the original purpose of the numbers: Skinner box experiments require test subjects to execute empty tasks, like pulling levers or, say, inputting digits into a computer. The Dharma-ites chose the sequence because...they were big Yankee fans, and each number correlates to a retired Yankee jersey. But the second question is far more important: What purpose do the numbers serve now? There are lots of out-there (and fun) ways to go with this, but the truth is that the numbers don't do anything. The ''cursed'' digits are just one more sinister detail in Dharma's elaborate sleight of hand intended to freak out test subjects. The problem was that extreme stress on the subject in the hatch combined with the electromagnetic energy down there to jar loose some suppressed psychic powers. And it jarred them loose in the wrong individual. In that explosive moment, the once meaningless digits were encoded with devilish life. Hence, Hurley's bad luck, and a virus that is rewriting reality on the island.
5. THE ANSWER TO 'LOST': The Island Is Haunted by a Powerful Psychic
The Dharma experiments resulted in the creation of a potent disembodied being. A being deeply steeped in pop culture — think about all the novels, comic books, and random flotsam that make up the DNA of Lost — and powerful enough to bring those bits of pop culture to life. Someone who imprinted his consciousness on the island. Someone whose radioactive corpse was walled up in the hatch. Someone named Aaron.
So how did the Oceanic crew end up on the island? Aaron summoned them, because he has as-yet-undetermined uses for each of them...and he needed a new body. The body of a then-unborn baby. Claire's baby. Which is why the Others (Aaron's followers) have tried to kidnap her child. And why they had to snatch poor, psychic Walt — remember that dead bird from season 1? — who was the only one with the ability to see through their plan.
Of course, the castaways could all be dead. It could be a mass hallucination. The Others could be trying to secure franchise rights to the Twilight Zone Dairy Queen. But this is our story, and we're sticking to it. At least until the start of the next episode.
---Jen here.... I don't know about anyone else but if I am a victim of a fucking Skinner box experiment, I am going postal on somebody!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 24
"Credible research exists that strongly suggests that adopted children raised in Republican households, though significantly wealthier than their Democrat-raised counterparts, are more at risk for developing emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos (and) an alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves...I have spoken to many adopted children raised in Republican households who have admitted that, well, it’s just plain boring most of the time."
This is hilarious. And obviously tongue-in-cheek. But he is trying to make a point that Republicans are being assholes when they introduce legislation that stops gays from legally adopting children.
1. GQ, 10.39% of male readers are gay/bi
2. Entertainment Weekly, 10.35%
3. TV Guide, 5.46%
4. People, 5.1%
5. Newsweek, 4.74% (tie)
6. Time, 4.74% (tie)
7. Men’s Health, 4.68%
8. National Geographic, 4.1%
9. Consumer Reports, 3.96%
10. U.S. News, 3.9%
1. North American Hunter, 99.9% of male readers are straight
2. North American Fisherman, 99.5%
3. Four Wheeler, 99.45%
4. Guns & Ammo, 99.43%
5. Sporting News, 99.41%
6. American Rifleman, 99.37%
7. Cycle World, 99.25%
8. Stuff, 99.23% (tie)
9. Field & Stream, 99.23 (tie)
10. Midwest Living, 99.23 (tie)
This list is mostly obvious, but what straight man reads Midwest Living??
Gina Gershon is set to star in the pilot Lipstick Jungle for NBC based on the Candace Bushnell novel about 3 high-powered NYC woman. Sounds an awful lot like Sex and the City.
Finally, James Van Der Beek joins Sex, Power, Love & Politics on CBS, which is about Joe's life in DC. (Actually, it's about 30-something Capitol Hill staffers. Can't wait!)
Wendy's: Where's the Beef?
Coca Cola: I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing
Coca Cola: Mean Joe Green
Alka Seltzer: I can't believe I at the whole thing - meatball
Staples: Back to School Campaign: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Anheuser Busch: Clydesdales bow heads to NYC and the site of the former World Trade Center buildings
Dunkin Donuts: Time to Make the Donuts
Pepsi: Lots of Puppies climbing all over a little blond haired boy (interesting how many weren't sure what the product was in this ad)
Tabasco: Exploding mosquito
VW: VW driver arrives at the wedding late
Anyhow, here's the EW recap:
I'm a fraud. A phony. A fake. A good-for-nothing know-nothing. Just to recap, let's go back to what I wrote about the two tribes in week 2 after they were split into La Mina and Casaya: ''This could be Palau all over again....Everyone on La Mina...seems pretty physical. And with both [an] astronaut and a rocket scientist on their team, they figure to do well in puzzle challenges as well. Casaya, on the other hand, got stuck with Melinda and Cirie as well as quitter boy [Shane]....They're in a heap of trouble.'' Pretty bad. But I wasn't done. Last week, even after Casaya won immunity, I boldly proclaimed, ''I still think La Mina is going to dominate Casaya....Casaya is just a mess.''
Let's just pause now to let the embarrassment sink in. And pause...keep pausing...almost done now...there, that's enough. That's right, the members of that ''mess'' Casaya, who are ''in a heap of trouble,'' just won their third straight challenge. The funniest part about it is, they are a mess! So if they're a mess, what does that make La Mina, a hot mess? And what does that make me for predicting La Mina dominance, a...uh, messy mess? (And what does that make me for using the term ''messy mess,'' an idiot?) I have no idea about any of this, but I will say one thing in my defense — looking at the makeup of the tribes, Casaya should have not only won that immunity challenge but full-on dominated it, considering it was 100 percent balance oriented, and they had a yogi, a gymnast, and a martial artist running the course. Yes, I'm making excuses, but that's what all the great ones do when they get publicly humiliated.
Speaking of being publicly humiliated, I was almost shot down on a second front when my girl Sally looked like a surefire goner. The Sally Alert appeared to be ready for its final edition until she turned into Carl Lewis on the balance beam. Homegirl was smokin'! And not in the way that she's usually smokin', although she was certainly still smokin' in that way as well. You know what? Let's just consider her double smoked for this episode, shall we? Of course, this posed a problem for the men, who had promised Ruth Marie she could be fifth on their totem pole. This actually proved to be an interesting dilemma. Austin and Terry were right in assessing that Sally gives them a better chance to win challenges than Ruth Marie, but Dan-O (who for some reason insists on competing in swimming-based reward challenges with his shirt on) was also correct in pointing out that Sally is a lot more likely to flip should they make it to the merge. Still, it will be game over by the merge if they don't start winning some damn challenges, so I think they did the right thing in ousting Ruth Marie...even if I am just a tad biased.
I suppose this is the space where I'm supposed to give Terry big-time props for finding the hidden immunity idol. I'm sure Austin would: Does he have a major-league crush on the fighter pilot or what? But let's put it this way: If I find a note saying that there is a hidden six-pack of Milwaukee's Best sitting under the couch, you know what? I'm gonna find it. And then I'm gonna drink it. And then I'm gonna have an animated conversation with my limited-edition Star Wars tauntaun action figure, but that's beside the point. The point is, all those clues basically pointed out exactly where the idol was. (Putting the word ''why'' in quotes twice wasn't exactly the subtlest of moves.)
But while Terry was enjoying his home for the night, Casaya was enjoying its new shack, the Casa de Charmin. (What happened to the good ol' days when Survivor pimped classy stuff like beer and crappy sodas like Sierra Mist? Now it's down to toilet paper?) The best thing about it all was that we finally began to see the self-proclaimed Bob Dawg unleashed. While Aras and company were discussing turning the outhouse into a storage space for blankies, Bob Dawg took matters into his own hands — or, rather, other body parts. ''Anyone mind if I break in the dumpster?'' he inquired. ''I've got a deuce to drop.'' By all means, drop away, Mr. Dawg. And while you're at it, get your tribe to start dropping a few challenges so I don't look so bad.
What do you think? Will Casaya continue to dominate or fall apart? Will Sally survive? And will Dan ever get a tan?
Dancing with the Stars 2 concludes Sunday night with a two-hour live finale starting at 8 p.m. ET. No need to tune in until 9:50, the show will be 99% filler up until that point, I'm sure.
Thursday, February 23
Wednesday, February 22
I put combinations of words into search engines to see what quotes I could find. Please enjoy. I put links to the stories were I found them; several are from the same interview, so read all the quotes first before you click on any stories.
"I don't like to be called a jock," Weir said. "That makes me think of spandex-covered football players. It's not me. I'm in rhinestones and velvet, not spandex."
On his hotel room in the Olympic Village: ''I'm very princessy as far as travel is concerned, having a nice room and things like that. I hate carrying my own luggage. I hate trekking up stairs. I like a nice bed to be laid out for me, so it's not any of that. It's a little dusty, very under-decorated, the beds aren't very soft. But I'm enjoying it. I'm roughing it. It's the same thing as me going out into the woods."
On hearing the news he made the Olympic team: "My mom is getting drunk already."
Tips on proper tanning: "Make sure you wear the hairnet. And make sure you don't shower for two and a half hours, not three. 'Cause three, for some reason, it sticks a little harder. But I've been doing the lay-down tanning bed, and where my butt cheeks push together there's a white triangle because it never gets tan."
On his guilty pleasures: "Cocaine... I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Guilty pleasures -- I love a good steak. I love maxing out credit cards. I feel good when I do that."
To a USA Today reporter who said he wore a boa to a press conference: "Is the writer from USA Today here?" (writer raises hand.) "That was a scarf, not a boa -- dead chinchilla, not feathers."
"...all of a sudden I was causing a stir because I was wearing a chinchilla scarf that someone thought was a boa. First of all, boas are so out. Secondly, I would never wear a boa to a press conference."
Recently, Oprah had the families on her show to talk about the program and their experiences. I was riveted. The basic premise of Black.White is that a black family lives as a white family and a white family lives as a black family. The show is fascinating and eye-opening. I can't wait until March 8th.
Monday, February 20
Friday, February 17
[posted by garden girl on Television Without Pity]
Thursday, February 16
From libbycluck: Secret crush--you! Now give us some Lost scoop.
You are such a suck-up! And there's a special place in heaven for good people like you. I can't remember now what I've said about Claire's next flashback. I don't want to give too much away, the next episode will be very much centered around the baby Aaron (the storyline on the island, not the flashback) and a disturbing development regarding him. She's also getting her memory back and, um, uh...crap, I forget.
From Hillary: Wentworth Miller! And I want to strangle his girlfriend Shmistin Sheech. Okay, my question: Last week, you said that the Others might be "deceiving" the Losties. What does this mean?
Ugh. Seriously. That Shmistin is a Shmitch. It is something that we will find out about in the next flashback episode for Claire. Here's another hint. (Read this only if you want to know and hints don't drive you crazy!) Friendly Mr. Zeke may have something in common with Tobias Fünke.
From buddynbrit: Zeke has hair plugs?
You are sorta, kinda on the right track.
From Geeno: Katherine Heigl. Those lips! Okay, it's still driving me insane about that Easter Egg that Damon Lindelof said was in Charlie's flashback episode. The one about the London skyline? Was it just the Pink Floyd-Animal Farm reference, or was it actually a sign?
I just listened to the latest official Lost podcast. (Can I just say, Damon and Carlton are adorable and funny together! Love them!) And they revealed that the sign on the power-plant building in the skyline was supposed to be bigger, and it read...um, crap, what was it? Who listened? Oh my god, TV has officially made me stupid. I want to say it was Whitmore Construction? Who knows and can save mama from her misery? Anyhoo, they also confirmed that Rousseau's daughter Alex may have something to do with the fact that Mr. Friendly (aka beardy Zeke) called out to an "Alex" to bring out Kate during their little meet and greet. Don't be surprised if Alex is an Other!
From Meagan_Michelle: I wanted to let you know that Glen Miller's plane disappeared over the English channel. He composed "Moonlight Serenade"--the song Sayid and Hurley heard over the radio on the last episode of Lost. Love you!
Oh, wow. I'd forgotten that! Thanks, Meagan. The same song also appeared in an episode of the Twilight Zone in which a guy was receiving radio broadcasts from another time. But I sincerely think that line from Hurley was just to mess with us, and the castaways are still in present day. I also noticed that Oceanic Airlines was launched in 1980, the same year the Hanso video was filmed. Coincidence? Probably not!
From lostlvery: Hurley! Now, Lost scoop, please!
Okay, I am so glad you asked, because I'm freakishly giddy over this amazing, exclusive scoop I just received! I asked our favorite TV superstar Damon Lindelof (executive producer, god, all-around swell guy) for some sort of news about our favorite Lost couples and received this message back from him within minutes. I hope you're sitting down, 'cause it's genius!
From Damon: Apparently, these four Valentines were discovered washed up on the Philippine coast last week. After extensive forensic analysis (a big shout-out to the team over at Criminal Minds), the ink has been restored and we can now tell you what they say:
The First Valentine
Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
Even though you denied it when I asked, I'm still pretty sure
That I know you.
The Second Valentine
Y'know how the Fugitive--from the TV show, I mean--was a doctor? Well, you're a doctor. And I'm a fugitive. How about that?! So...even though I kissed you and ran away because I saw an imaginary horse, I hope you forgive me.
I miss you,
The Third Valentine
Dearest Husband Jin,
If you understood English, you would know that I am writing you this Valentine to tell you that even though you frustrate the hell out of me sometimes, you are so effing hot when you take your shirt off.
All My Love,
And Finally...the Fourth Valentine
There ain't no damn roses anywhere, so...
The One with the Guns
Now, how much do you love Damon? Seriously, he's my hero! Also, from the Hurley one, we can infer that he and Libby probably did know each other before. And according to a little birdie (*ahem* by the name of D.D.K. *ahem*), the Jin-Sun one is a bit spoilerish as well...Apparently, Jin has a big shirtless scene coming up! How's that for a Valentine's present? Yummy!
From Jane: TV crush? If my parents are reading: Josh Holloway. If not: Evangeline Lilly. Now, my question about the two: Is it over for Sawyer and Kate? That twist in last week's episode was insane.
Ha! So true. And if my parents are reading, I thought Josh was a fantastic actor in that ep. If they're not, that whole "new sheriff" tirade made me wanna jump his evil bones. (And also hang Charlie by his grim-reaper hoodie drawstrings! Poor Sun!) But back to the question at hand, Javier Grillo-Maxuach, who is a writer on the show, posted an answer to that very question at TheFuselage.com and it made me giddy: "It's over. Just like Ross and Rachel were over. And Dave and Maddie were over. And Han and Leia were over. And Rick and Ilsa were over. And Antony and Cleopatra were over. And Kristin and Wentworth were over." (I may have added in that last one.)
There's more trouble on the horizon for newlywed and Creed frontman Scott Stapp, 32. Us Weekly has learned exclusively that a sex tape involving the singer and fellow musician Kid Rock, 35, is set to be released. The tape shows both stars involved in explicit sex acts on a tour bus while touring together six years ago. The two don't engage in any sex acts together, but are seen and heard talking to one another during the acts. Footage was acquired by the Red Light District, the same company that distributed Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape One Night in Paris.
The Dark Sayid
On ''Lost,'' a suspicious newcomer leads the former soldier to draw on his skills as a torturer by Scott Brown
TOOL TIME Sayid flashbacked to a plier offense
In the spirit of tonight's episode, a bit of honesty: I've been drifting away from Lost of late, feeling a little less than enraptured. Nothing fatal: just a minor erosion of interest. But this latest installment, imperfect as it was, snapped my retinas to attention. I speak, of course, of the Final Countdown — even though it wasn't quite as final as last week's promo might've led us to believe.
More on that in a minute. Let's take a moment to rejoice in the great, bloody return of Sayid. Golly but we've missed the old torturer. Aside from a sullen throwaway line here and a glower there, he's been Absent Without Plotline for too long. Now he returns to in-torture-gate a suspected Other, one Henry Gale. Yes, Henry Gale. Who arrived in...wait for it...a balloon. Why is Dorothy's uncle from The Wizard of Oz not in Kansas anymore? He'd be happy to explain — but Sayid isn't biting. This, says the erstwhile Republican Guard officer, is an Other, plain and simple. The guy's L. Frank Baum-inflected backstory is just an elaborate ruse. And Sayid's got the pliers to prove it.
Yes, lest we forget, Sayid is a torturer. And Uncle Sam made him that way. In what may be the best Clancy Brown cameo on record, a shadowy U.S. intel officer compelled the captured Lieutenant Jarrah to wring information from his own superior. It's a bit beyond belief: Video footage of a chemical-weapons attack supposedly ordered by said superior was enough to turn Sayid from a loyal soldier into a merciless, nail-extruding interrogator. I don't exactly buy it. But Naveen Andrews played it all to the hilt, looking appropriately horrified under the scorched, CGI skies of Gulf War I Iraq. And the always-marvelous Clancy Brown did a stellar job as the Quiet American. To cap it, we got a couple of glimpses of Kate's dad.
Point is, Sayid's damaged, he's crazed with grief over Shannon, and he's ready to give Henry Gale the Mother of All Manicures. But first he's got to get past Jack and his pesky scruples. This proves startlingly easy, thanks to Locke's complicity and a brand-new combo to the empty arsenal closet. Now help me out here, folks: What does Locke stand for nowadays? Last season, he was telling the castaways to focus on their real enemy, the Others — mostly to distract them from his own secretive activities in the forest. But lately he's been talking more like an Other lover — or, at the very least, a sympathizer. He's wary of Jack's army. Or maybe he's just peeved he wasn't consulted. Then he conspires to let a very emotionally compromised Sayid get his torture tongs on a wounded man — and then does a 180 and delivers a ''We're all Others'' mini-speech. Seems to me Locke has been a little lost since the hatch opened.
Luckily, the button-pressing mystery — which has shackled Locke's destiny to an Apple IIE — took on a new dimension tonight. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: The time ran out. And if chills did not run down your spine when those numbers spun from innocuous, train-station white to menacing black-and-red, then brother, that ain't blood pumping through your shriveled veins. So what, exactly, were the symbols on those tiles? My co-castaway Liz and I noticed a couple of Egyptian hieroglyphs: the whiplike, bobby-pin thing seems to be the phonetic symbol for ''s,'' and the falcon is a glottal stop. Then there was that flame-like glyph — possibly a feather. (Some are speculating it's the feather of Ma'at, goddess of truth, balance, and order. Also justice. But justice and balance, Lost demonstrates, are not the same thing.) The final sign appears to be an arrow (like the one Rousseau shot into Henry Gale to get this plotline in motion). We didn't get a look at the second symbol. So, cheerleaders, what's that spell? Um, no idea. Liz gamely suggested SHT 'P--or ''shut up,'' if pronounced with the vowels the ancient Egyptians omitted from their written lingo. ''Shut up,'' she said, ''as in 'Locke, shut up and stop moralizing!' ''
By the way, did anyone else find it interesting how Locke's curiosity got the better of him? The possibility of the revelation of yet another mystery (what happens when the button doesn't get pushed?) nearly trumped his normal piety vis-à-vis the Hatch and its workings. Good thing he got a grace period, huh?
In other news, Sayid has lost faith in the island's Two Daddies, and he's recruited Charlie into what may turn out to be the Third Way politics of Lostland. Also: Hurley is hoarding, and boy, Sawyer sure hates frogs. But things are politically charged enough: No reason to bring the French into this.
What do you think? Is Henry Gale an Other or just a bad balloon pilot? Will Hurley get busted? And what does the frog mean in the grand scheme of things?
Wednesday, February 15
Tuesday, February 14
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
White House thinks the shooting is a big joke
by Joe in DC - 2/14/2006 03:02:00 PM
As Chris notes below, Cheney shot his 78 year old victim in the heart and the guy also had a heart attack.
Over at the White House and across the Bush family, that's a big joke:
President Bush's spokesman quipped Tuesday that the burnt orange school colors of the University of Texas championship football team that was visiting the White House shouldn't be confused for hunter's safety wear.
"The orange that they're wearing is not because they're concerned that the vice president may be there," joked White House press secretary Scott McClellan, following the lead of late-night television comedians. "That's why I'm wearing it."
The president's brother, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, took a similar jab after slapping an orange sticker on his chest from the Florida Farm Bureau that read, "No Farmers, No Food."
"I'm a little concerned that Dick Cheney is going to walk in," the governor cracked during an appearance in Tampa Monday.
I'm sure that 78 year old guy is laughing his butt off, too. He's back in intensive care according to the AP.
I expect Jon Stewart and Jay Leno to make jokes about this incident. That's their job. But, for Scott McClellan and Jeb Bush to make fun of the whole thing is just creepy and incredibly unseemly.
But ultimately, and probably more sooner than later, I will tell the truth about the sexuality of me, Chris Klucsarits, the man behind the Kanyon character. I am hoping to do so within the next month, but again, I can’t make any promises, and I am determined now to just go with the flow, like a twig in the current of a mighty river. See what life brings me and enjoy the ride.
I have no idea what it is, but I can't get enough figure skating. There was a woman that looked like a very ill Paris Hilton, and then two pairs later, the woman looked like normal Paris Hilton. These skaters are so tragic!
And I can't listen to Scott Hamilton any longer. Or Red Buttons, or whatever his name is.
Monday, February 13
When CBS’ Rock Star returns this summer, the for Van Halen, according to TMZ.com. Citing unspecified “sources,” the site reports that “Van Halen is in the market for a new lead singer, and the marketplace will be the upcoming reality show.”
If this sounds familiar, it’s because last fall, MTV reported that Van Halen had been selected. Then, two days later, MTV corrected its story and said that “The band flatly denies any involvement in the show.”
Today, TMZ says that the group’s “reps are now singing a different tune. Van Halen publicist Larry Solters told TMZ: ‘I’m not denying it. I’m not going to answer any questions about it.’”
Sunday, February 12
Speaking of... Fox aired the Arrested Development "season finale" on Friday. I'm suprised they didn't cancel it mid-way through the finale and start airing "Who Wants To Marry A Midget." The finale was fantastic, just like every other episode (except the one with Martin Short riding a horse on the beach - I didn't really care for that episode). So long, A.D. I loved you. Maybe I'll see you on Showtime soon.
Friday, February 10
Amazing Race moving to 10 p.m. timeslot. CBS will move The Amazing Race 9 from the timeslot the show has held since its sixth season. Instead of airing on Tuesdays at 9, the show will move one hour later to 10 p.m. ET, where it will face weaker competition. There won’t be any competition on FOX (since the network’s programming ends at 10), whereas it would have faced House and super-sized Idol episodes at 9. And at 10, NBC airs Law & Order: SVU while ABC airs Boston Legal. Thus, the move could help the ratings, assuming we don’t fall asleep by the time it airs.
The move won’t happen immediately, though. The series returns February 28 with a two-hour episode, and the show shifts timeslots on March 7, its second week, when CBS will debut a new drama, The Unit (heh), at 9
''Somebody wants to quit? Let him quit!'' —Cirie
If God is a big Survivor fan — and I think we can all agree that He is — and if He ever decides to send Jeff Probst down from the mountaintop with 10 Survivor commandments etched in stone (or perhaps parchment would be more appropriate), that quote from Cirie should be at the top of the list. ''Somebody wants to quit? Let him quit!''
It's simple. They want out. You want in. Get rid of 'em. This is why I'm declaring war on Aras for persuading that lunkhead Shane to stay and sending Melinda packing instead. I know what he's thinking. He's thinking, Shane is in my alliance of four, and if he quits, we lose our number advantage. I get it. I passed remedial arithmetic. (Barely, but that's beside the point.) But you never, ever keep a quitter. If they are letting you down now by trying to quit, they are guaranteed to let you down later as well. It happened in Pearl Islands when Osten contemplated quitting. Savage and Rhino and all those other clowns with nifty nicknames persuaded him to stay, voting off other tribe members who actually wanted to be there instead, and what happened? Osten ended up quitting anyway.
It happened in Palau when Janu went back and forth on whether she wanted to stick it out before finally laying down her torch at tribal council. (Some would say Jeff Probst laid it down for her. Discuss amongst yourselves.) The point is, you're always better off dumping early someone who might turn his or her back on you later. Take Shane, Mr. ''34 going on 12.'' On day 4, he's plotting and scheming and threatening to kill anyone who doesn't stick with his alliance. Then, two days later — day 6, mind you — he wants to quit! (Day 6!) Does that sound like the sort of schizophrenic soul you want to align with? Ditch him, bring in Bob Dawg or Bruce, and you're back to a foursome. But nooooooooooo! Mr. Wavy Gravy Aras first off persuades Shane to stay and then goes and tells Melinda and Cirie to their faces that they are the next two to go. Now, I'm not sure how Ganesh, Shiva, or any other Hindu deities would look upon such actions, but in Survivor, doing that makes you look (1) stupid and (2) like an absolute jerk. And no amount of spiritual hand stacking can change it.
So what about the new tribes? My first impression when I saw the two lineups was that this could be Palau all over again (not that that's a bad thing). Everyone on La Mina (even possibly Dan, who is a freakin' astronaut and no doubt has the endurance thing down pat) seems pretty physical. And with both said astronaut and a rocket scientist on their team, they figure to do well in puzzle challenges as well. Casaya, on the other hand, got stuck with Melinda and Cirie (lovely ladies, but not exactly powerhouses — and why Aras picked Cirie over Ruth Marie is mind-boggling), as well as quitter boy. They also have Courtney, who described herself as being from ''gangsta Hollywood, man.'' Honestly, I have no idea what that means, but I do know that Casaya got smoked in their first two challenges, including that wacky snake-carrying obstacle course. (By the way, how much did we love Nick whacking Austin in the head with one of those snakes? About as much as we loved Probst's commentary during the immunity challenge that ''Shane made zero progress in the water. La Mina is still in the lead, but only because Casaya is absolutely inept.'' Hey, gotta call it like you see it.) Bruce will actually help this tribe in regard to the challenges, as he's obviously a fit, motivated guy (although he can probably run his mouth faster than his feet), but I still think they're in a heap of trouble.
It's now time for...the Sally Alert! Before the game began, I picked Sally to win it all, and not because she's hot. Okay, maybe a little because she's hot but mostly because I thought she would be able to play the sweetheart role while secretly stabbing people in the back — that she'd kill with a smile. Each week, I'll take a little time out to update her progress. So, this was a good week for Sally...in that she looked fiiiiiiiiiine! (I'm not quite sure what's going on with that leg-warmers thing, but it's working for me.) As for the game, however, it didn't go so well. She was the first person Terry picked for La Mina, which was good, but then (even as she sagely tried to form a young-people alliance) it appeared that she may be up against an all-male block of votes. And then she certainly didn't help herself by losing the freakin' fishing spear! It's a good thing her tribe won the immunity challenge. Hopefully someone else will get my girl off the hook by doing something stupid before La Mina has to go to tribal council.
I guess we have to pay our respects to Melinda. She had a bunch of us reporters worried when during interview day (before the game had even started) she was already complaining about the bugs, but she actually seemed to do pretty well for herself out there, except, of course, when she sat around completely useless and doing nothing during the first immunity challenge. She still didn't deserve to go before Shane, though, who — judging by the promo for next week's episode — is already about to cause more trouble around camp. Shocker! Be careful what you wish for, Aras.
What do you think? Will Casaya ever win immunity? Who's going to last longer, Cirie or Shane? And do you think Bruce might have found something on Exile Island?
Thursday, February 9
I heard recently that Denise Richards is "shopping around" her story behind the divorce. Word is that he gave her HIV when they were attempting to reconcile. She found out through routine blood work for her pregnancy. I guess she is ready to ruin his life and make him into the bad guy.
Very sad. We'll see if it's true. But I did see it in The National Enquirer, and The Star is working on a story, too.
Madge looks damn good for her age. But she needs to stop with the sexiness when she hits 50.
U2 rocked. Coldplay didn't. So glad U2 won Album of the Year!
I love Kanye West.
Kelly Clarkson is so cute. I actually watched the pre-show on E! and she said she couldn't wait to drink with her band.
I missed Mariah Scarey's performance. Any good?
Why was Tom Hanks there?
I don't know how much I liked seeing Paul McCartney with Jay-Z and Linkin Park. He looked a little.... uncomfortable.
Overall, I thought it was a good show. Some of my coworkers went to the event and thought it was great. They said Kanye brought the house down. I believe it.
The impromptu, revival-like tribute to Coretta Scott-King led by Stevie Wonder and Alicia Keys. Though the camera crew could've spared us from a few of the bewildered looks in the audience, the sentiment was great and so was the sound. Stevie always hits the right notes.
The opening number. Oh, Madge. Where oh where is my beloved '80s pop icon? From the Barbarella poses to the Olivia Newton-John bodysuit to the anatomically correct animated figures looming behind her, I couldn't tell what age or species she wanted to be. The Gorillaz song is brilliant, the Madonna song is average at best and seeing her bony frame doing "the hustle" with dancers half her age made me long for the days when she would simply writhe around on the ground in wedding dresses.
The cut-to-the-chase pace of the award announcements. Presenters didn't plug their new album or promote their record label or sell boxes of Thin Mints, they got right to the point and did what they were there to do. Bless you writers, for being brief!
Coldplay, start to finish. Before I start, let me just say that I am a fan of theirs. I've seen them live twice and I own all of their albums. They're great musicians. But tonight wasn't their night. First, we saw a pointless interview where Chris Martin joked about his guitarist "doing his business" on national television, then we were held hostage for an excruciating performance of "Talk" featuring Martin flopping around the stage like a starved coyote. He lunged into the crowd a la Bono, touching a few extended hands, then ascended the aisles to seal his yes-I'm-applying-for-the-job routine once and for all. And what was even more annoying was the sudden white-boy 'fro he sported, complete with scruffy half-beard. Last time I checked Gillette hadn't violated any Fair Trade agreements. Get a razor, Chris. And a haircut.
U2's effortless performance of "Vertigo." Though I'm still puzzled as to why they played a song that won last year. Maybe "City of Blinding Lights" was too long since they had to make time for their Mary J. Blige duet? Whatever the reason, it still sounded good and Bono got to show Chris Martin the appropriate "lift your leg" rock-star-jiggle that he clearly should have patented. Kudos also to Jenna Elfman for leading the standing ovation for our boys, even before the song was over.
The out-of-control smoke machine that blocked our view of U2 in the middle of "Vertigo." It was so white there for a while, I thought CBS was cutting in with a Touched By An Angel promo. I'm also over the whole Mary J. Blige hijacking of "One." I didn't like the duet when I saw it first on the Hurricane Katrina relief concert, then I changed my mind when I saw it live at the Las Vegas U2 show. She really did rock the MGM Grand. But I'm back to disliking it, mostly because I'm hearing her in my head now when I think of the song. I never wanted that to happen.
The passion of Paul McCartney's drummer Abe Laboriel Jr. The performance of McCartney's current tune "Fine Line" was good, but when the former Beatle started in on "Helter Skelter," Laboriel lit up like a Christmas tree and stole the show. His energy, his smiles and his talent are an inspiration.
An American Idol beat a Beatle. I'll say no more.
Keith Urban's appearance. I won't pretend that I'm a fan of country music, but even a rock girl like myself can appreciate a good voice and an acoustic guitar. Keith Urban made use of both and gave a solid, impressive performance. Extra points for the absence of an obligatory cowboy hat.
Ridiculous pre-recorded heartfelt vignettes. I have absolutely no patience for listening to "My-grandma-walked-uphill-in-the-snow-to-cut-down-a-tree-with-her-bare-hands-and-carve-me-a-guitar" stories in the middle of an awards show. Won't we suffer enough when the Olympics start on Friday?
Jay-Z with Linkin Park. This was a match made in performance heaven. Crisp delivery, excellent stage presence -- fantastic song. And how great that Paul McCartney got to join in the fun as "Yesterday" ended the medley.
The Jamie Foxx/Kanye West spectacle. I'm all for over-the-top productions. I'll even admit to liking the occasional pyrotechnics. But thrusting "drum majors" followed by gold, bikini-clad "cheerleaders" and an unimaginable dose of ego? The performance should never bury the music -- and unfortunately, this one did.
Sloppy camera work. Okay, this should technically be in the "miss" category, but I can't help but enjoy it when I see other people getting lazy at work. Without the poor direction of this show, I'd never have seen Danny Lanois chewing gum over the shoulder of Jamie Foxx. Or been able to read the teleprompter flashing blue for Kelly Clarkson to shut her piehole as her speech lingered on past the limit. Never has half-assed been so much fun.
Bad hair, worse fashion. The too-blonde tresses of Kelly Clarkson, Madonna with her Farrah Fawcett bangs and Beyonce-dream-of-Jeannie are all reasons to fire stylists. Jennifer Love-Hewitt looked like she belonged on Laugh-In, Kanye West was apparently trying to bring back the fad of recreational gloves and the companion of John Legend (who got more air time than some of the nominees) looked like a walking fire hydrant. Where's Boy George when you need him?
Bono mentioning Achtung Baby losing Album of the Year...again. That one must have really stung for him to keep bringing it up, but good for him. I don't want him to get over it. They were robbed. And for good measure he brought up All That You Can't Leave Behind, too (in case we forgot). Did I mention I love Bono? Thank God they won.
Larry Mullen Jr. getting cut off during the acceptance speech. HE STARTED THE BAND. He deserves to bleedin' talk! How dare they? All of the booing that came from the audience when this happened was absolutely justified. Producers: show some respect. And Larry, if you'd like to finish what you had prepared, by all means let me know. I'll be happy to post it on your behalf. And if you'd like to join me for dinner...
The tribute to New Orleans music. An elegant blend of talent, diverse in musical background and in race, delivering a genuine message. And Edge's Music Rising shirt was a nice touch.
The broadcast cutting off the final jam. Is CBS really hurting that badly for money? Oh, I guess maybe they are. Survivor: Appalachia, here they come.
Greetings, kittenfluffs. I have returned. (Whitney told me y'all love being called ''kittenfluffs.'' I won't pretend to understand that, but hey, I aim to please. Kittenfluffs.)
So...anything interesting happen while I was gone?
As a matter of fact, yes. Charlie turned babynapper, Hurley fell for Libby (ain't nothing like the lure of the Other — which, I maintain, Libby is), and Eko cemented his spot in the Lost yearbook as Most Riveting Screen Presence. And this week? Well, it was a chance for Sawyer to shine. Okay, maybe ''shine'' isn't the right word. Con men do not ''shine'' — too conspicuous. Though the whole 10 pastiche at the opening tested that theory: How many sherpas and/or PA's do you think it takes to oil up Josh Holloway for a ''fresh from the sea'' shot?
But, beefcake aside (and there was an awful lot of Sawyerflesh on display this time out), what was this episode about? It seemed like an attempt by the writers to prove these characters haven't lost their edge. There it succeeded. Lest we forget Sawyer is a lying, murderous sonofabitch, we saw him pulling off two ''long cons'' in parallel: one in flashback (which included a blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot of Kate's mom, Diane, waiting on Sawyer at a diner) and one on the island, involving an unseen and (at least for me) unguessed accomplice, Charlie. Nice to see them diving into the abyss with these characters instead of rehabilitating them.
As for motivations? That's a bit weaker. Sawyer, recently healed by Jack, got pissed off when the good doc policed his meds. He revealed a previously unaired beef: He's mad everyone stole his stuff while he was out a-raftin', getting menaced by Other pirates and Dharma sharks. You'd think he'd be just a little grateful that Jack saved his life, but this is, after all, Sawyer, a born survivor with a well-developed death wish. He's a bundle of contradictions. Did this one take him a little far? It did seem a bit petty, screwing over the whole camp because the big kid touched his stuff. And the ep never completely connected the dots between the con and the con artist. Why does the conner con? Power. Humiliation. Rage. All of which were implicit in Sawyer's choices, but the writing left a big gap where that epiphany should be. Instead, we got a warped love story with Cassidy (Kim Dickens) and more fear-of-intimacy moments. Okay, fair enough. But it didn't fully illuminate Sawyer's anger.
The closest we came was a pretty fine scene between Sawyer and Charlie in which the latter got to embody that anger — he wants to see Locke humiliated, knocked clean off his throne. Sawyer's not quite up to admitting he needs the same from Jack — that would mean admitting he doesn't have Kate in full thrall. But too much of this was left unplumbed. We were instead left with the mechanics of the con, which, quite frankly, weren't that interesting.
I did, however, enjoy the excruciating slowness of Sawyer's typing in those numbers. He's an accomplished prick, our man from the South.
As for the rest of the episode: Spring must be coming, because seeds are being planted all over the place. First there's Locke, rifling through an Ambrose Bierce short story for...what? Clues about the hatch? The real clue, most likely, is the story itself. ''Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge'' is a massive parallel-reality fake-out, the 19th-century granddaddy of ''it was all a dream!'' Goes like this: A Rebel sympathizer is being hanged on a bridge by Union troops. The rope breaks; he falls into the river and escapes. A harrowing journey home ensues. He dodges bullets. He crashes through the woods. Finally he makes it home. His wife opens her arms to him...and the rope catches, breaking his neck. It was all a fantasy, and the joke is on you, dear reader. What does this have to do with Lost? Perhaps it's a clue to the dream state these survivors inhabit. Perhaps it pertains specifically to Locke, who entertains the grandest illusions of the island's inherent beneficence.
And then there's that manuscript, the one Hurley was reading before Sayid came along to play radio. (Yes, Sayid. Remember him? Gosh how I miss that guy. Oh, and by the way, Jack, if you're starting an army? Ask an army officer for help. Not a police officer.) The book is Bad Twin, by Gary Troup, a mystery writer who boarded flight 815 and is now presumed dead. From Amazon (where the ''real'' book will soon be sold, in a gloriously meta tie-in):
Paul Artisan, P.I. is a new version of an old breed — a righter of wrongs, someone driven to get to the bottom of things. Too bad his usual cases are of the boring malpractice and fraud variety. Until now. His new gig turns on the disappearance of one of a pair of twins, adult scions of a rich but tragedy-prone family. The missing twin — a charismatic poster-boy for irresponsibility — has spent his life daring people to hate him, punishing himself endlessly for his screw-ups and misdeeds. The other twin — Artisan's client — is dutiful and resentful in equal measure....Troup's long-awaited Bad Twin is a suspenseful novel that touches on many powerful themes, including the consequence of vengeance, the power of redemption, and where to turn when all seems lost.
The dueling dualities continue. Locke and Eko? Ana-Lucia and Jack? Sawyer and Kate? All light-dark pairings, all ''twins,'' in a sense.
Oh, and speaking of Sayid's new radio: Who's biting? The Lost writers must be impatient: They're dropping hints right from the mouth of Hurley. ''The signals...could be coming from anywhere,'' said Sayid, after they tuned in what sounded like an American oldies station. ''Or any time,'' said Hurley. Pillsbury, my man: You're pre-geeking us! Don't do that! You'll put us out of a job! (By the way, it's been noted: The station's initial call letter was a W, which would make it in the eastern half of the U.S. The full title: WXO, which are letters 23, 24, and 15 of the alphabet. Make of it what you will.)
And that, kittenfluffs, must be my sign-off for the night. It's good to be back. But I don't think I'll be keeping up the ''kittenfluffs'' thing, no matter how much y'all like it. One Mississippi, two Mississippi...and I'm gone.
What do you think? Were you happy to see Bad Sawyer again? Did you believe his or Charlie's motivation? And how disappointed will you be if this all turns out to be a dream?
Wednesday, February 8
The major bummer of the night came when we got to the concert 40 minutes late, only to realize that FIONA APPLE was the opening act! I only saw two songs, so I vowed to see her in concert later this year.
Tuesday, February 7
It all starts when Mere has a feeling. She should really stop having those, because what comes next is pretty awful. A very dumb man -- accompanied by his hysterically screaming wife -- comes in with a sucking chest wound, caused by his friend's World War II replica bazooka. A rookie paramedic, played by Christina Ricci, has stuck her hand inside the guy's chest to slow the bleeding. Unfortunately for her, the ammunition is also still inside his chest and could go off at any second, especially if she moves her hand. Burke calls a Code Black, which we all now know means "bomb threat." The bomb squad comes in to assess the situation and try to evacuate the rest of the hospital. Meanwhile, Bailey arrives to lay a little smack down on her interns, and promptly goes into labor. Unbeknownst to the poor unmedicated thing, her husband crashes his car on his way to the hospital and has to have McDreamy operate on his brain. Also, Izzie decides she needs to have sex with Alex immediately, just in case they blow up. Back in sucking-bomb-chest-wound land, the anesthesiologist helping Christina Ricci keep the patient alive decides he's had enough and hauls ass, leaving Ricci alone to pump the ambu bag her own damn self. She begins to wig, and before Mere and Cristina can say "BOOM!" she removes her hand and runs away. No one blows up, but silly Meredith has instinctively put her hand where Christina Ricci's used to be, and there it shall stay…until next week. I think they call that a cliffhanger!
By the way, the episode recieved an "A" grade from TWP's readers.
First of all, that is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard a public official say. Second, there was a fucking damn law passed in 1978 that says you can't do that shit no more. The law didn't exist when George Washington was authorizing his electronic surveillance. What is the fuck wrong with the news media? Why is this not all over the airwaves!? Our country is run by damn idiots! Law-breaking idiots, at that!
CBS has brought in Jane Krakowski to star in its comedy pilot Sex, Power, Love & Politics, focused on a group of Capitol Hill staffers, all in their mid-30s. This project is from Sony Pictures TV.
This project is also right up my alley. Hope they don't make it cheesy like that stupid Fox show with the hot young lawyer chicks.
Monday, February 6
Sex. Birth. A faux-lesbian shower scene. Christina Ricci with cute bangs. A bomb scare. Creator Shonda Rimes sure pulled out all the stops on the post-Super Bowl episode of Grey's Anatomy. As if I hadn't been uncomfortable enough from the pounds of spinach dip I'd inhaled, the hospital drama ran its most tense hour ever. And there was a noticeable reduction in voice-over! Hallelujah!
The said lesbian fantasy sequence (courtesy of Dr. McHorndog, George) opened the episode, um, memorably, and the action didn't let up for the rest of the night. Once my favorite TV roommates-interns (Meredith, George, and Izzie) reached the hospital, basically all hell broke loose. Dr. Bailey returned, thankfully, but not without some drama of her own: She was in labor. This being the highly hyped Super Bowl episode, I knew her labor wouldn't go easy, but I had no idea that Bailey's husband would be the twist. He got in a car accident on his way to the hospital and required major brain surgery courtesy of McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey). Needless to say, Bailey's eventual reaction to the news brought about my standard Grey's Anatomy weeping session. This one felt a little more manly since it occurred after I'd watched the whole Super Bowl.
The highlight of the episode, though, was the now-famous ''code black'' story line, whispered about for weeks. Apparently, ''code black'' is hospital jargon for a bomb threat. No, I'm not getting this confused with 24. A patient was brought into the ER with a gaping wound that a paramedic named Hannah (guest star Christina Ricci, actually quite good, though it still doesn't erase memories of her performance in Monster) had sealed with her own hand. The wound didn't contain only gross, squishy innards but also an unexploded bazooka shell. Hannah couldn't remove her hand without potentially activating the explosive, creating a rather interesting surgical environment to say the least. To make things worse, the cowardly anesthesiologist left Hannah alone with her hand in the victim and the other hand pumping the resuscitation bag necessary to keep the patient alive. Talk about walking and chewing gum at the same time. Pressure eventually got to the poor girl, and she ripped her hand out of the body and dashed out of the room. I had a similar reaction after viewing Ricci's werewolf flick Cursed, but unlike Christina, I didn't have handy-dandy Meredith Grey there for help. Meredith (who started the day whining about how she felt as if she were going to die) redeemed herself with the brave and selfless act of inserting her own hand into the patient's wound. And that, dear friends, is where the episode ended and where I let out a screeching ''Noooooooooooo!'' How am I supposed to wait a week when Meredith has her hand inside a potentially explosive patient? It just seems mean. And I should know.
The code black prompted the evacuation of much of the hospital and also switched on Izzie's libido. She cornered Alex in yet another convenient supply closet, and the two started to do the dirty deed. While the episode definitely needed some levity, I found it a little odd and selfish that Izzie and Alex wouldn't be the slightest bit worried about the safety of the rest of their posse. But I've heard that bomb threats and major trauma are quite the aphrodisiac. Or is that oysters and chocolates?
What did you think? Were you on the edge of your seat like me, or did you find the plotlines a little contrived? How do you feel about Izzie and Alex's hookup? And what do you think will happen next week? (Remember, these two episodes are titled ''It's the End of the World (As We Know It), Parts 1 and 2.'')
Friday, February 3
President Bush announces his plan to manage the numerous scandals of his administration.
"Tonight, by executive order, I am creating a permanent department with a vital mission: to ensure that the political scandals, underhanded dealings, and outright criminal activities of this administration are handled in a professional and orderly fashion," Bush said.
The centerpiece of Bush's plan is the Department Of Corruption, Bribery, And Incompetence, which will centralize duties now dispersed throughout the entire D.C.-area political establishment.
The Scandal Secretary will log all wiretaps and complaints of prisoner abuse, coordinate paid-propaganda efforts, eliminate redundant payoffs and bribes, oversee the appointment of unqualified political donors to head watchdog agencies, control all leaks and other high-level security breaches, and oversee the disappearance of Iraq reconstruction funds. He will also be responsible for issuing all official denials that laws have been broken.
Hey, this episode is pretty good! First, we have Marissa finally being called out on her feelings for Johnny, with Ryan telling her that he doesn't want to see her until she makes up her mind. And it's Kaitlin, of all people, who gets Ryan to do it! And then she tells Marissa to get over herself already and just make a freaking decision about Ryan or Johnny. Go Kaitlin! She also tells Johnny to figure out what he's going to do about his feelings for Marissa, which doesn't end up working out too well. But more on that later. Meanwhile, Sandy has to make a decision, too, as his smarmy little protégé wants to use his manly wiles to make their hospital project go through. But Sandy wants to be honest and good and right! And it's not like Kirsten's giving him any meaningful advice. Julie forces Dr. Neil's hand by setting him up with one of her dating company's clients and then sulking when Dr. Neil's date goes unexpectedly well. Fortunately for her, Dr. Neil has a taste for wine coolers and Hot Pockets and winds up at Julie's door. Seth's interview-ducking is found out when the Harbor guidance counselor, apparently desperate for some screen time, tells Summer everything. Seth's growing pot addiction is revealed soon after when he gets stoned and a suspicious Summer searches his room and finds his supply. Meanwhile, Marissa writes Johnny a Dear John(ny) letter that sends him on a tequila/bonfire/rock-climbing bender. Marissa and Ryan are in the middle of making up and making out when Kaitlin calls, frantically begging them to come and rescue Johnny and make everything better again. But when they get there, Johnny's just a little bit too close to the cliff's edge to be saved. He falls and it looks like he'll out of our lives forever. Which I'm just a little bit sad about, because I almost liked him in this episode with his angry drunken railing against Marissa.
First off, before we get going with another season of Survivor, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize. Some of you may have been having nightmares lately, and I honestly don't blame you a bit. After all, that picture of me shirtless in EW magazine (accompanying the article about my overnight stay on Exile Island) is one of the scariest things ever. There's really nothing I can do or say — except curse my editors. (And maybe try to eat a few more burgers.)
There was one good thing about going on location for this latest edition of Survivor, however: It gave me a chance to meet all the contestants right before the game started, as well as watch the first few days of filming. What exactly does that mean, besides a mild sunburn and an addiction to DEET? It means I can share with you a few interesting nuggets you didn't get to see in the premiere episode.
For instance, let's start with that opening scene on Exile Island when all the tribes competed in the first reward challenge. The younger women lost and were told they had to immediately pick someone to stay on the island. Danielle, who had lost for her team, volunteered. (Why would anyone in his or her right mind volunteer to spend the night alone on an island? Oh...uh, never mind.) Now, on TV you saw some pretty comical indecision, with the ladies finally settling on a game of rock, paper, scissors — which Misty lost. What you didn't see is that said indecision was even more comical in person. After Danielle volunteered and was turned down, then Courtney (the dread head with the identity crisis) also volunteered! And then she was turned down! Why all these people were volunteering (remember, they didn't know yet that there was a hidden immunity idol somewhere on the island) and why people were not allowing them to isolate themselves is completely beyond me. Probst repeatedly had to tell them to pick someone. It was pretty damn funny.
What you also didn't see was a pretty classic Probst line. After the challenge, as all the teams headed toward their boats to leave, Misty turned to the host and said, ''Looks like it's just you and me, Jeff.'' To which he replied (without missing a beat), ''Not for long.'' That, my friends, is pure uncut Probst. Except, in this case, I guess it actually was cut, so never mind.
Okay, one last behind-the-scenes tidbit to share, and one which I'm sure many of you are trying to decode: Probst's clue to Misty about the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol. For the record, here is exactly what he said: ''You also have a lot of time to think about why fate chose you to be the first one out here, which is also why immunity is so important.'' This oral clue was actually a last-second addition. Right before the castaways showed up, Probst and Mark Burnett were perfecting the exact wording, with Jeff practicing it over and over to get it. (It should also be noted that the twist of not having to reveal that you have the hidden immunity idol until after the vote was also a last-minute switch. Originally contestants were going to have to reveal they had it before the vote, à la Hogeboom in Guatemala. For the record, I like it the new way a lot more.) Now, Burnett told us the meaning of the clue shortly after, but since spoilers are the bane of my existence, I will refrain from sharing it here. (Sorry.)
Okay, enough of that junk, it's time to talk a little Shane. Because a little Shane goes a long way, people. I knew this guy was in for a hard time when in our interview a few days before the game, he told me about his three-pack-a-day habit. He was even smoking while wearing the patch! And it's not just cigs this guy will be missing. He also drinks 15 cups of espresso a day! Caffeine and nicotine withdrawal? Fun stuff! Can't wait to check this clown out on day 5. One interesting Shane moment that didn't make it into this episode was at the immunity challenge. After his team came in second, thanks to Bruce's successful ring toss, Shane started running around the beach yelling, ''Miyagi!'' at the top of his lungs. Bruce actually refers to himself as Mr. Miyagi, so it wasn't completely out of the blue, but it was still pretty damn odd. (The producers may have cut this out because of Pat Morita's recent death. Or maybe just because I'm the only person in the world who would find such a thing funny. I'm also probably the only person who thought it funny that when Misty showed up for the challenge, it looked like she had peed her pants. Go back and watch — you'll see.)
As we know, the older women lost. Speaking of which, how much do you think they wanted to punch Jeff Probst in the mouth every time he referred to them as ''older women''? I'm actually kinda bummed Tina got voted out. She really got a raw deal: She had originally been chosen to compete on Survivor: Guatemala, but 10 days before she was to leave home, her son was killed in a car crash. As a parent, I can't even imagine going through something like that. And then, when she does show up for this season of Survivor, she's the first one kicked off. One can debate whether telling her tribemates about her situation would have saved her, but obviously strategy becomes secondary when you're still dealing with the loss of a loved one. (It should also be noted that in a press round table with Probst the day before filming began, all six of us had Tina in our final four. Four people — including Probst — even predicted Tina as the winner. My pick, Sally, is still alive. Take that, Probst!)
Even beyond the son thing, it's too bad Tina is gone, because she was a big personality, as you saw. Luckily, in between Shane, Cirie, Melinda, and ''Bob Dawg,'' there are plenty of those left. I've got a good feeling about Exile Island, and not just because I'm no longer on it.
What do you think? What's going to be a bigger factor, age or gender? And who are your early favorites?
--My own personal observation? Did anyone notice it looked like the astronaut guy (Bob?) was filmed in black and white and the rest of them were in color? Totally hysterical. My other thought: the older women are STUPID and ANNOYING. Sure, they got rid of the annoying lady but at least she had some smarts about working around camp. If they were smart, they would have voted out Ciera's boobs!
Thursday, February 2
(Idea for question came to me when I saw how many freakin' people watched the State of the Union on Fox News... almost as many as the other three networks, and three times as many as CNN.)
"The Justice Department has subpoenaed Google. They're demanding to see records that will tell them how often people search for porn on the Internet ... First they tap our phones, now they want our Google searches. When did the government turn into our jealous girlfriend?"---Jimmy Kimmel
"Earlier tonight, President Bush delivered his State of the Union address. The president gave the speech at 9 p.m., which means he had to wear his pajamas under his suit."---Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday at a press conference President Bush said he had not seen 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, he did express an interest in drilling for oil there"---David Letterman
"A comet is, of course, frozen bodies of ice and dust formed over 4.6 billion years ago---or created 6,000 years ago, depending on whether or not you're wrong."---Jon Stewart
A new show...
Beyond is a based in a NASA jet propulsion lab during a time when the race to space has been renewed after a global crisis. This project comes from Imagine TV and 20th Century Fox TV
And What About Brian? debuts on Sunday, April 2 after Desperate Housewives. Don't worry, it will move to its normal spot on Mondays at 10pm after the debut, making room for Grey's Anatomy! By the way, What About Brian? is not my favorite show at all. And I wanted to love it because JJ Abrams is involved. But this is... kind of... um... a suck fest. Maybe I'll give it another shot.
Wednesday, February 1
When the show ended in 1995, she said she wanted to be a normal kid. She went to high school and college and by age 20 was married to a Los Angeles police officer — TV older sister Candice Cameron was in the wedding party.
But two years ago, she found herself dangerously addicted to one of the most debilitating drugs, methamphetamine. She said she was unemployed and bored and began simply by experimenting. Soon, she was using meth everyday.
The tabloid press reported a three-day bender as well as an intervention staged by her "Full House" castmates — including the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget.
In case you're wondering, Coachella Arts & Music Festival is an annual 2-day festival near Palm Springs. This year, it will fall on April 29 and 30. Here's the musical line-up (so far). Depeche Mode and Tool (WTF?) are headlining.
Depeche Mode, Franz Ferdinand, Sigur Ros, Common, Damian Marley, Atmosphere, Carl Cox, My Morning Jacket, Ladytron , Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Tosca, Cat Power, Animal Collective, HARD-fi, Derrick Carter, Devendra Banhart, She Wants Revenge, The Walkmen, The Juan Maclean, Audio Bullys, Lady Sovereign, Deerhoof, The Duke Spirit, Editors, stellastarr, Lyrics Born, Matt Costa, The New Amsterdams, The Zutons, Platinum Piped Pipers, White Rose Movement, Chris Liberator, Colette, Imogen Heap, Joey Beltram, Hybrid, Wolfmother, The Like, Living Things, Nine Black Alps, The Section Quartet, Infadels, Youth Group, Shy FX & T Power, Infusion.
Tool, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Bloc Party, Paul Oakenfold, Scissor Sisters, Matisyahu, TV on the Radio, Sleater-Kinne , Mogwai, Coheed and Cambria, Gnarls Barkley, Coldcut, Phoenix, Digable Planets, Amadou & Mariam, Little Louie Vega, Mylo (DJ Set), Seu Jorge, Wolf Parade, The Go! Team, Kaskade, Metric, Art Brut, Dungen, The Dears, Jamie Lidell, The Magic Numbers, Los Amigos Invisibles, Jazzanova, Michael Mayer, Mates of State, Gilles Peterson, Gabriel & Dresden, The Subways, Minus the Bear, Be Your Own Pet, Giant Drag, Kristina Sky, The Octopus Project.
I've always felt that art was better during rougher times. Remember 1990-1991 (Nirvana, NIN, Pearl Jam, Achtung Baby, Seattle, etc.)? It all happened under Bush I's watch. And then the mid to late 1990's saw crap like BSB and Britney, all during the prosperous Clinton years.
Favorite (and by far the most entertaining) part... when Bush stated that Congress had failed to privatize Social Security and the Democrats stood up and cheered in sarcasm! It threw Bush off his game (he clearly didn't expect this!) and he looked pissed and never really recovered. This is like Road Rules vs. Real World! I can't get enough!
WILL Paris Hilton ever learn? When the celebutard was questioned under oath in the $10 million slander suit brought against her by jewelry heiress Zeta Graff, Hilton said Graff was as old as her mother "and should stay at home with her child instead of being at nightclubs with young people. And just that . . . What else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all." A pal of Graff says, "Kathy Hilton has now been sub poenaed to declare her real age in public, since Paris made false claims that Zeta was 'old' and her 'mother's age.' In fact, a little bird tells me that Kathy is 46 - Zeta is 37. And Kathy goes out all the time." Graff's lawyers also sent Hilton's lawyers a "warning" letter cautioning Paris about speak ing ill of Graff to anyone. Meanwhile, we hear Paris has been dumped by her PMK/HBH pub licist, Jack Ketsoyan, for stretching the truth. But her other publicist, Elliott Mintz, says, "Paris takes the high road during this time. She has not talked trash against Zeta, and in the war of words game, Paris has been victim ized. Paris dropped PMK, not the other way around. She didn't feel they were doing any thing for her."
--Celebutard. My new favorite word!!!!
It was a huge coup for Oprah Winfrey when Jennifer Aniston went on her show last September and discussed her tabloid-ready divorce. Now Star magazine reports that Aniston had a tit-for-tat agreement with Oprah — who agreed to hype "A Million Little Pieces," the discredited memoir by James Frey, in return for Aniston's on-air dishing, Star claims. Aniston, whose rep denies the story, owns the movie rights, and Star says Warner Bros. is getting cold feet.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?
Worried About My Reputation