Spoilers!

Alias
Michael Vartan is not leaving the show.
Someone Sydney loves is killed by someone else Sydney loves.
Nadia and Weiss are rumored to get it on. But I hear Weiss might not make it through the season (Greg Grunberg is working on a new bounty hunter show with JJ Abrams).

Arrested Development
Speaking of bounty hunters: We also see Lyndsay swing into full slut gear and hit on a bounty hunter named Ice.

ER
Noah Wyle may return.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge
The next season will be "Goodies vs. Baddies"
Cameron (San Diego) and The Miz (New York via Miami University) are dating. My old roommate hooked up with The Miz in college.

Desperate Housewives
Do you want to know what's in the box? It's a full-grown woman and not a baby!

Lost
Claire might not last much longer.
Love triangle between three characters. Can you guess who?

Six Feet Under
Two main characters get married in the first episode.
George goes completely nuts (I didn't know he hadn't already).
Claire quits art school.