"It was reported that since the verdict was announced, sales of Michael Jackson's CDs have gone up significantly. After hearing about it, Michael Bolton announced he sleeps with young boys."
--Conan O'Brien
"President Bush said I wish I could wave a magic wand and lower gas prices. And then he said I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring the troops home. And he said I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix health care. And I was thinking this guy waves his wand more than Clinton."
--David Letterman
"Last night in his speech, President Bush called for a complete overhaul of the tax code. He said he was shocked to find out that some millionaires in this country were still paying taxes."
--Jay Leno
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