Ban Forks

This is totally, seriously from a Washington Post Presidential Inauguration story:

12:28 p.m. ET
Put Down Those Forks
The group of protesters stood a few feet away from the entrance to the Federal Triangle Metro station, holding signs and timing their chants for the arrival of Metro riders: "Two, four, six, eight--no more forks!" One protester asked, "Were forks mentioned in the Constitution? No!" A sign read, "Jesus hates forks."The young men identified themselves only as members of the anti-fork movement. Their chants drew stares, guffaws, and expressions of bewilderment. It wasn't long before a transit police officer made them move away from the Metro entrance. They regrouped a few feet away and resumed their chanting. --Susan J. DeFord