Another Alias View

TV Without Pity says:


I have no idea what happened in tonight's episode. Really. No idea. I got new contact lenses today and I spent most of the show squinting at the screen and wondering why Sydney's head was cowering beneath a big foggy square of cloudiness. But, as far as my murky eyes could make out, some Russian guy has his hands on some new explosive or chemical or something called "Black Thorine." So, of course, Syd and Nadia and their boyfriends have to go to Monte Carlo to get it. But, really most of the episode is mired down in the rather rocky sisterly relationship that comes about from Nadia being Sloane's daughter and Syd, you know, wanting to slit his throat with a dull X-Acto knife.

Oh, and the idea that spies are hot but sister spies are hotter than the dripping molten surface of a thousand burning suns is pretty much shoved down our throats from the moment Syd and Nadia start tandem target shooting. We get them shooting guns, showing off their spy smarts to their boyfriends, stealing dresses, looking sexy, drinking champers with Russian Guy's girlfriend, and cloning a computer drive and a PDA without breaking a sweat or getting caught. So. Sister spies. Hot. Mixing up episodes? Not.

In other news, Syd delivers a spitting speech about how much she detests Sloane right to his face, and all he can do is gently daub the saliva from his cheeks and wonder how soon he can go back to being a bastard and have her ass iced. Then the sisters have to, um, dive or something, in the Black Sea, in order to, um, go get the stolen chemical or whatever, but I suspect the real reasoning behind the dive is the slick, skin-skimming black wetsuits that they have to wear throughout the rest of the episode. Syd and Nadia single-handedly take down the entire ship and have a little sister bonding over some dead Russian guy's vodka. Syd winds up the entire episode with a little "I'll never forgive your sorry cobra ass but…see you tomorrow!" Then she grabs her hot little leather jacket, swaggers her hot little Bristow butt out to her buddies, and goes on yet another double date with her hot little sister and their drooling boyfriends. Man. I wish my day at the office would end like that. Instead of in tears, like it usually does.