Cheeky fun... Read on:
Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge Of The Sith
Director: George Lucas
Cast: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, R2D2
Causes for excitement: The by-all-appearances-final entry in the Star Wars series, Revenge Of The Sith looks like it's drawing the saga to its conclusion—or at least its midpoint—in high style. The trailer looks thrilling and dark, more Empire Strikes Back than Phantom Menace, and the film appears to be loaded with Wookies. And who doesn't love Wookies? No one lining up for this movie, that's for sure.
Probable cause for disappointment: Early viewers have complained about the notable lack of sexual chemistry between Natalie Portman and Chewbacca. Also, the film appears to be light on Jar Jar Binks, the lovable, funny-talking man-imp who burrowed into our hearts back in 1999. Will no one shake George Lucas by the shoulders and demand he return to the series' core elements: fart jokes, gratuitous pratfalls, and thinly veiled ethnic humor?
Madagascar
Director: Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath
Cast: Voices of Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith
Causes for excitement: Dreamworks' new computer-animated film about a group of zoo-animal friends who accidentally get themselves shipped from New York City back to "the wild" has it all: Cute talking animals, a lively premise, and a cast of comedians including Cedric The Entertainer and Da Ali G Show's Sacha Baron Cohen. Also, as an animated character, Ben Stiller has no opportunity to do his increasingly irritating hapless pity-me-I'm-harmless-and-sensitive shtick.
Probable cause for disappointment: Unlike other Dreamworks CGI projects like Antz and Shark Tale, this one doesn't seem to have a clear antecedent in a Pixar movie. How could that possibly work out well? Hey Dreamworks... Pixar's next movie is Cars. Where are the cars in Madagascar, huh? Huh?
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Director: Doug Liman
Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie
Causes for excitement: Pitt and Jolie are two of Hollywood's best-looking stars, and as members of America's attractive community, they have a responsibility to give back to the rest of us, if necessary by making cartoony action-comedies about a husband-and-wife pair of assassins assigned to rub each other out. If they want to provide some offscreen entertainment by touching off rumors of home-wrecking affairs, all the better.
Probable cause for disappointment: Alleged scandal-sheet romances often leave viewers scanning the screen for chemistry, not plot. Also, Liman's work on Go and The Bourne Identity have shown him to be somewhat of a literalist, perhaps unsuited to a balance of whimsy, romance, and violence. Plus he's never really had to manage superstar egos. Expect a lot of close-ups.
Batman Begins
Director: Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman
Causes for excitement: Fans who were let down by an increasingly craptastic run of over-the-top Batman films are hoping Memento director Christopher Nolan will get it right with this back-to-basics take on the hero's story. A promising cast—from Michael Caine as Alfred to Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon to Ken Watanabe as Ra's Al Ghul—has the comics geeks geeking appropriately.
Probable cause for disappointment: The Batman origin story has been done so many times that it's going to be hard to put a fresh spin on things without departing from the geeks' beloved canon. And the shoehorned-in romantic subplot will doubtless lower the explosions-per-minute ratio considerably, possibly even cutting into Christian Bale's angsty rooftop-posing time.
War Of The Worlds
Director: Steven Spielberg
Cast: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning
Causes for excitement: Spielberg ranks as one of America's most dependable commercial filmmakers, and he seems like a natural to take on War Of The Worlds. That Cruise kid has scored a few box-office successes in his day as well. Early reports indicate that the filmmakers went all-out to make the film as spectacular as possible, even going so far as to spend thousands of dollars buying fancy computers that can conjure up beasties and aliens and bugaboos that don't actually exist.
Probable cause for disappointment: Then again, the teaming of Spielberg and Tom Hanks didn't seem too shabby either, and The Terminal didn't exactly wow critics or audiences. Besides, is America finally getting sick of Tom Cruise? It probably should.
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Director: Tim Burton
Cast: Johnny Depp, a bunch of kids
Causes for excitement: Roald Dahl's surreal, giddy children's book about an eccentric chocolatier, plus Tim Burton's surreal, giddy production aesthetic, equals a match made in heaven. And Burton will presumably have the sense not to bog down his version with turgid songs and an overlong prologue, like the 1971 film version did.
Probable cause for disappointment: Behold the terror of Planet Of The Apes syndrome. Given Burton's boundless and bizarre imagination, and the aesthetic successes of original films like Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, and Ed Wood, it's disappointing that he so often lets himself get caught up in gratuitous remakes and franchise entries that limit his story sensibility. Still, if this doesn't work out, there's always his Corpse Bride (with still more Johnny Depp) later this year.
The Island
Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou
Causes for excitement: Breaking away from evil mentor/puppetmaster Jerry Bruckheimer for the first time, Bay (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor) takes on the hot-button issue of human cloning, giving audiences reason to scratch their chins as they're being pounded by loud, thrillingly incoherent action sequences. McGregor and Johansson are playing clones who try to escape a system designed to "harvest" them for spare parts, and they have too much integrity as artists to sign onto a dumb commercial project for mercenary reasons. Right?
Probable cause for disappointment: Heady science fiction from Michael Bay? Pfft. Only those who consider Pearl Harbor an austere, sobering account of America's darkest day instead of a vulgar excuse for star-fucking and blowing up ships will purchase that bill of goods. And after the Robert De Niro/Greg Kinnear laugher Godsend, the bar for human cloning movies has been set too high.
The Dukes Of Hazzard
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Cast: Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson
Causes for excitement: Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg. Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse. Waylon Jennings reprising his old Dukes Of Hazzard theme song. The '70s are coming alive again, tongue pretty firmly in cheek, courtesy of Jay Chandrasekhar of the Broken Lizard comedy troupe. Look for a lot of car-leaping, car-crashing, dynamite-arrow-shooting, short-shorts-wearing, yee-hawing action.
Probable cause for disappointment: The Duke boys with grungy facial hair? Jackass star Johnny Knoxville as Luke Duke? Stifler from American Pie as Bo Duke? It's almost like the people behind this film have no respect for the original TV series' clean-cut, all-American, good-ol'-boy way of life, not to mention its frequent-shirtlessness aesthetic. Do people really want to see a half-naked Seann William Scott totin' hay-bales?
The Pink Panther
Director: Shawn Levy
Cast: Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Beyoncé Knowles
Causes for excitement: There is no law forcing anyone to see it.
Probable cause for disappointment: It exists.
On the other hand, all this relentless negativity could be totally misplaced. Maybe this is the summer where everyone gets it right. The comedies will be filled with laughs, the thrillers filled with thrills, and the remakes of old TV shows not totally inconsequential. Yeah! Hooray for movies! Let's all go buy some tickets!
No comments:
Post a Comment