Thursday, April 7

Too Funny!

Stank, and Other Proposed Titles For Britney Spears's UPN Reality Show

The Osbournes did it. Anna Nicole Smith did it. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey just cannot stop doing it -- starring in a "celebrity" reality show, that is! Back when one-time pop star Britney Spears married deadbeat dad/background dancer Kevin Federline, there was talk that his baby mama, Shar Jackson, might get her own reality vehicle, but we all knew which show we really wanted to see: the one where the girl Shar lost Kevin to obliviously embarrasses herself for our viewing pleasure. And now the gods of schadenfreude have heard our prayers, and UPN is readying a reality show about Spears and Federline -- largely made up of their own home videos, but including their present-day commentary on same -- to debut as early as next month. Y'all...it's going to be a brilliant train wreck, and nobody had better pull the emergency brake.

But what on earth will UPN call it? Executives recently held a brainstorming session, and we've obtained the minutes:

Stank
G-String Diva
Dancing Barefoot
Fed X
Suck On This, False Tabloids!
America's Next Top Mouth-breather
Marries Spears
Spears In Heaven
Spears In Kevin
Spears Of A Clown
96 Spears
Spears On My Pillow, Pain In My Ass
Spears For Fears
Fears For Spears
Don't You Know That Spears Are Not Enough?
Even Newerlyweds
Juggs
Red Bullspit
Mr. And Mrs. Smith
Trailer Park Confessions
Suck On This, Pepsi!
Non-Toxic
I'll Love Honor And Obey 4 You
Us Against The Pre-Nup
I've Just Begun (Spending Her Money)
Control Your Woman
Suck On This, Shar!
ProTool My Marriage
Cheetos And Chafing
Look How Much Money We Have
Married...With Another Woman's Children
Drunk About You
Moonlighting
Kevinly Father
Offensive Federlineman
Private Dancer
The Next Great Chump
Stepmom
Lynne's Complaint

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