Friday, December 9

Survivor

From EW:

''I'll think about you guys when I see the stars through my sun roof of my new car.'' — Cindy, after being voted out at tribal council

You know what I'll think about from now on as I look at the stars? Well, probably Halle Berry in a bikini, but you know what else I'll think about? What a moron Cindy is! First she wins the car, which guarantees you won't win the million dollars. You know why they call it the ''curse of the car''? Because you just won a freakin' car! In a game that is all about finding a reason to vote someone off, this is the ultimate reason. But then Probst goes and tells her about the curse and gives her an opportunity to give up the car while also giving away four free cars to her tribemates. Granted, having those four Pontiacs rolling up single file was the most blatant case of peer pressure since Mike Harmon in eight grade tried to convince me that ''all the cool kids smoke menthols.'' (Turns out he was wrong about that.) Anyway, after much hemming and hawing, Cindy decided to keep her new ride. Great. Now, not only was she getting a free car, but she was basically taking four free cars away from the people with the power to deny her a million dollars.

And who was the one to get all huffy and puffy about it? None other than Mr. Morals himself, Rafe! Now, it should be noted that I see Cindy's point in that they may have just voted her out anyway, so why not grab the free car at the very least? But that's a bunch of hooey. Rafe said it himself: ''If Cindy had decided to give the four of us cars, there is no way on earth I could vote her out at the next tribal council.'' Again, no way on earth!

Speaking of no way on earth, that brings us to the funniest line of the episode, which comes to us from Lydia before the reward challenge: ''I haven't really won anything, so I just have this crazy feeling that this might be my opportunity.'' Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That is just too precious. Almost as precious as her comment about Rafe: ''We're looking at him as one of the girls.''

Hold on! Stop the presses! Stephenie has won an individual immunity challenge! It's funny because in Palau we talked about how Stephenie was such a fierce competitor stuck with a tribe full of lame-os, but this season she's been on top more for her strategizing than for her physical prowess (although we did see her pretty clearly swayed by Rafe in this vote). I do think Steph has pissed off too many people to win the final vote, though. It seems everyone who has come through Survivor Live has had less than kind things to say about the Jersey girl. And I don't know if anyone has enough respect for Lydia to hand her an oversize novelty check. (Although Judd surprisingly had some nice things to say about her last week — surprising in that Judd usually says nice things about…well, no one.) That leaves Rafe and Danni as the two people most likely to bring home the bacon.

Of course, when considering all this, one must also take into consideration what we saw in the promo clip for Sunday's finale. Why? Because there was a shot at tribal council of the final four that blatantly showed who was wearing the immunity necklace and the last letter of the 15th person voted out! What the hell? I freeze-framed that sucker, and it's as clear as day! Don't worry, I'll keep this spoiler free, but it's there if you want to check it out.

Speaking of checking out, that's me. I'm heading out to the finale in L.A., specifically to see if Bobby Jon is busting out any more sweet Miami Vice threads. (Don't worry, you'll still get a finale write-up — and surely from a much more qualified writer.) So thanks, as always, for playing along this season. Happy holidays and all that jazz. As the immortal Casey Kasem would say, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars. And when you reach for those stars, think of Cindy.

What do you think? What would you have done in Cindy's place? Did they really goof and put a spoiler in the preview of the finale, or was it a red herring? And who is going to win Survivor: Guatemala?

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