LeeAnn goes bye-bye!

If it's one thing I've learned from watching Survivor is that you can never, ever, ever trust anyone. Poor LeeAnn must have forgot that little tidbit of advice somewhere along the line cuz this week she was blindsided by the alliance of Scout, Twila, Chris and Eliza. Ba bye you over-confident, attention-seeking reality show contestant!!

Things oughtta start getting reeeealllly interesting now that the all-girl alliance has finally cracked. Power matron Ami *thought* she had the game all wrapped up. I don't know about anyone else but I took satisfaction in seeing Ami's shocked face and dropped jaw when her buddy LeeAnn had her torch snuffed. Watching Chad & Sarge enjoy a moment of sweet revenge was priceless.

Inside Lost

The new issue of Entertainment Weekly brings us some serious insider information. Couldn't wait to post it here. Although quoted from the magazine, I took the liberty to edit it down a bit.

"There is a key inside the US marshal's wallet. The key opens a briefcase. The contents of that case are important and involves a startling betrayal."

"Locke makes a huge discovery. Someone will build a raft to try to escape. We'll meet other folks on the island who weren't on the plane,, and learn two secrets about Hurley. The Bermuda Triangle continues to overlap with the Jack-Kate-Sawyer Triangle."

"The flashbacks serve as a great conduit to learn more about these characters, but that's not all they're there for. The idea that these people – way before they got on this airplane – have interacted with each other either directly or through third parties is one of the cool pieces of tapestry of the show."

One theme I have recently picked up on is the fact that most of the characters have been involved with death. Sayid killing the guards, Korean guy killing someone, Jack's dad dying, Sawyer's parents, etc. I am beginning to wonder if that is the common thread that brings all these people together. I have read a theory that the island on Lost is really purgatory. Could that be true?

New Number and info

Hello All,
Sorry for the mass email. I wanted to let everyone know that I got
my final job offer this week! I am now legislative assistant to
Congressman Mike Turner from the 3rd District of Ohio.
Also, I have a new cell phone number. My new number is
202.386.3170. I hope to hear from y'all soon!

--Joe

First it was puppets, now it's cartoons?

More to come, for sure. But the Christian Spotlight doesn't like SpongeBob SquarePants:

There is nudity throughout the movie. We view Patrick's bare buttocks during three scenes, and SpongeBob's once. At one point, Patrick surprises SpongeBob at a community gathering by swinging over the crowd, naked, holding a sign between his buttocks which bears a message to his friend. SpongeBob and Patrick are also shown in their underwear a few times. The underwear is drawn to look like men's fitted briefs.

These characters are not real, and are not even human, so many may choose to gloss over the animated nude scenes, though it sends a wrong message to children that it's okay to pull down one's pants for a laugh.

People Weekly

I'm reading People...

- Jude Law beats Jesus to become the sexiest man alive
- Marc Antony looks like a Latino Woman Action Figure
- Gwen Stefani is turning into Willy Wonka
- I hope Star Jones gets divorced
- "Sexiest TV Tool Guy" didn't go to Tim Allen?
- 2 of the 4 "They're Backs" (Blair Underwood and Dean Cain) just had their new shows cancelled in the last week. So "Now They're Gone Again..."
- I'm sorry, but if you're married to Britney Spears you aren't sexy
- Jenna and Barbara turn 23. Take a shot
- I just can't get enough about Laci Peterson and Elian Gonzalez

On Top Of The World with Van Halen

Saw Van Halen in concert recently. My ears rang for nearly a week but damn, it was worth it! Sat in the front row, just to the left of the stage. Got to see Sammy, Eddie, Alex and Michael Anthony up close and personal. Let me say though, Eddie looks like he could keel over dead at any given moment. The man's heart has got to be a ticking time bomb. He's still smoking. Tsk! I'm also not sure about his current hair-do. When the band came onstage, before the lights came up, we could see this shadowy figure that resembled a very skinny Grinch. Once the lights were up we realized it was Eddie with this odd pony-tail thing similar to Pebbles from the Flintstones. I don't get it and no one else we were with did either.

All fashion and health comments aside, I must say these guys still kick ass. Each of them had time doing a solo thing on stage and they were amazing, especially Eddie's guitar playing and Alex on the drums. At one point during Eddie's guitar solo, he stopped and said, "You guys having fun out there?" To which everyone started screaming in response. He then said, "Good, cuz I'm havin a great fucking time up here." At the end of his solo, Eddie thanked the crowd and was in tears over the response he got by the audience. Sammy signed autographs on people's shirts throughout the entire concert (they would throw them up to him and he'd sign and toss back) and seemed almost humbled by it all. After the concert, me and the others wondered if this might be VH's last hurrah.

Whatever happens to VH, I'm happy to say that I got to see them in concert and hear all the great songs from over the years. I don't know how much longer they'll be touring or where they'll be, but I'd recommend seeing them if you get a chance.

Oh and in case you wondered, the latest news on David Lee Roth is that he's studying to be a paramedic. Interesting.

Must-Flee-TV

Is anyone else about to bail on Joey and Will & Grace for The O.C.? I know I'm totally missing out on The O.C., and I think I've just about had it with NBC.

more smitts, s'il vous plait

ok, so west wing will always be one of my fav. shows, but admittedly, it gets stale every now and then. for this reason, i was excited for the new jimmy smitts character to interject some excitement into the show. granted, with the leo heart attack, and cj's new job, etc... there's been plenty of excitement, but i need more. so that's why i'm pissed about the latest west wing installment. last week the show was all about introducing smitts character, yet he didn't make an appearence at all this week. next week promises to be good, with more smitts action.

Makes sense

Especially with the absence of Sex and the City. According to E! Online:

Despite the high drama on ABC's Desperate Housewives, the show has been submitted for consideration as a comedy at the Golden Globes, per Daily Variety. The show's stars, Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman and Marcia Cross are also up for consideration for Best Actress in a Comedy Series.

And in more Alias news

This season will feature the best sex scenes ever filmed!

"Actress Jennifer Garner had to change the name of her new production company Vandalia Films, after discovering it shared its name with a hardcore porn manufacturer."

Oh damn. Just when I was getting my hopes up.

Best News of the Day!

Alias is one of my favorite TV shows, so I'm glad it's returning in full-force this year. More from MediaLife:

"Just last spring, the future of J.J. Abrams’ cult favorite 'Alias' seemed rather murky. But ABC has rewarded Abrams, the man behind this year’s mega-hit 'Lost,' with a plum spot for his Jennifer Garner drama – the lead-out spot behind 'Lost.' Granted, that spot loses some of its allure in January, when Fox switches its 'American Idol' results show from 8:30 Wednesdays to 9. 'Alias' will switch from Sundays, where it was replaced at 9 p.m. by 'Desperate Housewives,' to Wednesdays at 9 p.m. when it returns Jan. 5. That will bump 'The Bachelor' franchise to Monday nights, where it will anchor a new night of reality post-'Monday Night Football.'"

When I heard the news that Alias wasn't coming back in the fall because a show called Desperate Housewives would be replacing it, I was pissed! Now Desperate Housewives is one of my top 5 shows, and I can't wait to watch Alias develop with no weeks off.

By the way, there's lots of rumors on the internets about Alias, including:

- Sydney won't talk to her daddy at all this season
- The show is going back to its first season underground roots
- More focus on Sydney's home-life, including the return of Will (!!)
- Someone important will be killed off by the end of the season

Bring it!

Sick of U2 yet?

"We will do a commercial with Apple for our album, and no money will change hands, which is important, because we have been offered boatloads of money from many other people. But we will make an Apple commercial that's as good as any video. And next year, you will be able to go to a U2 show and download the concert onto your iPod. We're going to make a digital box set, where you can get every U2 album and every U2 B-side and every U2 lyric, all at once. We want to do this because we like their company."

And I like U2. The new album is fucking awesome! I cannot stop listening to "City of Blinding Lights." And some of the tracks are real surprising ("Love and Peace or Else").

Shortlist

TV On The Radio won this year's shortlist prize. The concert will be broadcast on November 20th on MTV2.

I haven't heard their album yet, but I hear it's damn good. Past "Shortlist" winners were Damien Rice, N.E.R.D., and Sigur Ros.

Gayest.Song.Ever.

Look out kids. SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney and Clifford the Big Red Dog are joining forces to rerecord the disco tune "We Are Family" to promote diversity and tolerance in classrooms.

This will go over well with all those Bush supporters. I wonder if Tinky Winky will be part of this collaboration.

Toy Story 3

Disney, who owns the rights to the characters, is going ahead with Toy Story 3 without Pixar.

Great. I'm looking forward to this as much as I'm looking forward to Pocahontas 3.

How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

It's streaming over on VH1.com and MTV.com. It really rocks compared to ATYCLB. Favorite Song on first listening, "City of Blinding Lights."

Ashlee Update

The New York-based group HOPE--Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment--giving people the opportunity to trade in their Ashlee Simpson Autobiography CD for an album "of a higher entertainment quality" at Manhattan's Knitting Factory. In other words fans can get a work by a performer who doesn't lip-synch.

Is there anywhere in Los Angeles to do this?

AMA's Update

"I'm just portrayed as some bimbo, and never taken seriously."

- part of Anna Nicole Smith's AMA appearance

No comment.

Let's Get High

Battle of the Sexes II Recap:

This week's challenge: High Noon. And a new thing for me: Live Blogging.

Frank has a huge unit, according to Steve. Angela decides to "step it up" since she royally screwed up last episode by stepping up and then stepping down. The boys have no aim when they go to the bathroom, so the girls think they have a better chance of winning the paintball duels.

Of course Coral is in a fightin' mood, which is appropriate for this Western-themed episode. After kicking Nick's ass, she challenges Zell Miller to a duel. And then - out of nowhere - a dust storm brews. Not even kidding. After the dust settles, Ibis gets shot by Mike and the boys pull way ahead of the girls and Mike will probably stay another week now.

The girls need to win the final three rounds to win this challenge. But Angela loses. So she's probably going home even though she "stepped it up." The boys win and their prizes are gift certificates to Pottery Barn Teen (I'm so jealous). Frank and Angela walk to Elimination Hill together holding hands. Angela knows she's going home and only has a few more hours to find out how big his unit is.

Sean goes home. I don't have any feelings about this.

And the girls... ANGELA!!! Now, I think she totally sucks when it comes to the challenges, but I do think she is kind of cool. She says this game is about backstabbing and going behind people's back and Coral and Veronica start cheering! They know how to play this game.

This show is so silly and they take it so seriously. That's why I can't miss an episode.

Ten Reasons Why the AMA's Suck

1. Jimmy Kimmel.
2. Anna Nicole Smith provided the only moments of humor (unintentional, of course).
3. There are just three nominees in most categories.
4. The nominees in each category have nothing in common (Avril, Sheryl and Jessica Simpson? Josh Grobon, Lenny, Michael McDonald and Usher?).
5. No one knows how the results are tabulated.
6. No one cares how the results are tabulated.
7. Half of the performances were by country singers and the other half totally sucked anyways.
8. Rod Stewart should not be allowed to sing "It's A Wonderful World." (Come to think of it, Rod Stewart should not be allowed to sing.)
9. The pairing of totally disparate celebrities to present awards has got to stop. (Kathy Griffith and Clay Aiken? Give me a break! Kathy makes a living by making fun of these people!)
10. Dick Clark is 109.

Caroline, or Change

I went to the opening night of this musical in Los Angeles. First off, it was phenomenal. It is the work of Tony Kushner, who wrote Angels in America. The entire work is sung, and the music is beautiful and difficult and the play is soooo out-of-the-box. Loved it.

Now onto the good stuff. I saw Doogie Houser MD, Arthur from Six Feet Under, Cameron Mannheim, Tony Kushner, Jimmy Smits, Barry Bonds (well, someone pointed out that I did, in fact see him because I honestly wouldn't know him from Barry Manilow), some guy from the OC (the blond one who was on it last season), Jonathan Silverman. It was like a B-list wet dream!

Male Model

Peter Fonda suing a clothing company for more than $123,000 for allegedly failing to honor a licensing agreement allowing it to sell clothes bearing his image.

Because when I shop for clothes, I look for stuff that makes me look like Peter Fonda. Yeah.

Tom Hanks' next Oscar-bait movie...

He's set to star in Ron Howard's adaption of The Da Vinci Code. I am the only person in the world that hasn't read this book yet, so tell me, is this good casting?

Fuck the FCC

Another reason Kerry should have won. The FCC is ridiculous. There are so many complaints by so-called "Family Values" groups about the airing of "Saving Private Ryan" on ABC last Thursday. The film was shown unedited (as it should be seen), which means soldiers said the "f" word some 20 times. Oh, I'm sorry. Wasn't this a tribute to WWII veterans on Veteran's Day? Don't you think, if they don't want their children to see it, some asshole parents should've sent their kids to bed? And don't you think, if parents DID want their kids to see it, that it would be a great way for them to have a conversation with their kids about WWII and the devastating loss this country has had in many wars to fight for freedom not just in our country but all over the world? I'm sorry, FCC. Fuck you. I remember in college watching "Schindler's List" on NBC - unedited. "Saving Private Ryan" is similar in importance, and I would just go completely nuts if "Family Values" groups went crazy over the airing of "Schindler's List." Some people have their priorities completely wrong and don't see it when there is an opportunity for their children to learn an important lesson. They're gonna say the "f" word no matter what. They might as well learn something while they're at it.

Sounds like my weekend...

Jake Gyllenhaal’s same-sex love scenes hurt. The actor is starring opposite Heath Ledger in “Brokeback Mountain” — about two cowboys who fall in love. “Heath almost broke my nose in [a kissing] scene,” Gyllenhaal tells the December issue of Elle magazine. “He grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him and I slam him up against the wall and I kiss him. And we were doing take after take after take. I got the shit beat out of me. We had other scenes where we fought each other and I wasn’t hurting as badly as I did after that one.”

Neverland

There's nothing really funny about "Finding Neverland," so I won't even try. It is a fantastic movie, and there wasn't a dry eye in the theater at the end. It's a must-see.

Breaking News!

Lindsay and Wilmer have broken up. I guess we can forget about a surprise Wilmer cameo in Herbie the Love Bug.

Coming Attractions

Last night I saw "The Incredibles." All of the trailers were crappy (especially "Cars" and "Son of the Mask"), so I spent this afternoon on Apple's website watching coming attractions. Some high- and low-lights.

"Tarnation" - A man videotaped most of his life from childhood through young adulthood, bought a Mac with iMovie and edited it all together. This is the result. Looks utterly fascinating.

"House of Flying Daggers" - OK, I could sit through another "Hero," which was another "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," but both were great movies (especially "Tiger").

"A Very Long Engagement" - I have no idea what this movie is about, but I loved Amelie, which shares the same director and star.

"In Good Company" - I read about this and thought, "No." But watching the trailer, it has a very Cameron Crowe feel to it. Plus the cast is great! Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace (!), Scarlett Johansson, Marg Helgenberger and Selma Blair.

"Monster-In-Law" - The trailer opens with "From the director of Legally Blonde and starring Jennifer Lopez" which means I'm not going to see it.

That's great you're from Indonesia, really it is.

ok, so i'm on friendster, and i generally have no objections to it. i've met some nice people, reconnected with old friends, etc.... however, recently i've inundated (sp) with propositions from indonesians. at first i was like "is this really happening?" and then i was like "is this really happening this much?" these propositions (from both men and women) have forced me to reevaluate my attractiveness....i mean what is it about my drunken friendster photos that attracts people from southeast asia.

i realize i'm not special, that is, lots of people get propositioned from the indonesians, which made me think, "what's with people in indonesia?" are they looking to get out of indonesia? do they want us to teach them how to type WiThOuT PuTtInG EvErY OtHeR LeTtEr In CaPs? as the french say, "je ne sais pas."

this blog is really a cry for help....a plea if you will. if someone can enlighten me on this penominon, please comment away!

Goldie and Kurt

IMDB: "Hollywood power couple Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell reportedly split after a 21-year romance. Friends have revealed the couple's relationship has "lost its zip" in recent years and Hawn has moved on to realize her dream of traveling the world."

Lost its "zip?" They're, like, 60!

The Oscar Race

From Movie City News: "I don't really like to make declarative statements in the heat of a still developing Oscar season… but here I go… The only movie that can keep The Phantom of The Opera from winning Best Picture is The Aviator. Breathe..."

Are they serious?

Sideways, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Incredibles, Spanglish, Finding Neverland, Kinsey, Closer, Hotel Rwanda, The Life Aquatic, Garden State, Fahrenheit 9/11, Spider-man 2, Bad Education, Alexander...

Granted, I haven't seen many of them, but to cut the Oscar race between just Phantom and Aviator, when we haven't seen either of these, is ridiculous.

Incredible!

I saw The Incredibles last night. It was fantastic. Quite possibly my favorite of the Pixar flicks. Check out what the critics have to say:

Planet Sick-Boy: "Okay, another dollar for anyone who thought Craig T. Nelson would ever be mentioned in the same essay as “the best film of the year.” Actually, the voice-work in The Incredibles is easily its weakest aspect. Or maybe it just seems that way because Bird’s storytelling is so damn strong, and the Pixar animation once again breaks the very ground it destroyed last year. If you can, pay attention to the character’s hair and clothes, and the effects that water has on them. Look at the way the scenes are lit, and at the shadows that light creates. Pardon me for the Joel Siegel moment, but it’s all pretty fricking incredible."

Flick Filosopher: "[Director Brad] Bird's most outrageous and delightful invention, however, is Edna Mode (whom Bird himself voices, to hilarious effect), the gnomelike fashion designer-slash-mad scientist who creates superhero costumes. Her explanation of why capes are a bad idea is instantly one of the classic moments in all of film history."

Christian Spotlight on Entertainment: "Unlike the Shrek films, which are often crass and crude, the humor in The Incredibles is clean fun. Sadly, there are two fleeting instances of God’s name used vainly. However, there are several issues that can be used to initiate discussions of spiritual matters. Early in the film, for instance, Mr. Incredible jokes that he wishes he would not have to save people again after he has already saved them once. He jests, “Why can’t they stay saved?” Of course, this serves as a great bridge to speak about the One Hero who saves people with total efficacy and for eternity, Jesus Christ."

Whatever. Just go see this movie. If you have kids, I bet you'll like it better than them. And while you're at it, check out The Iron Giant on DVD. Same writer/director.

Violence is not the answer

Peanut butter is! Here's a recap of "Lost" from Television Without Pity:

"Stop! Sawyer Time! The hard-drinkin', hard-livin', hard-nicknamin' Tennessee outlaw is revealed to be a big ol' softy, still mourning the murder-suicide of his parents 28 years ago. He's specifically upset that after a confidence man ruined his parents' lives, he himself became that which he hated, bilking hot wives and their dumb husbands out of cashola. Back on the island, Sawyer gets tortured via bamboo shoots shoved under his fingernails when he refuses to give up Shannon's asthma inhalers to Sayid and Jack. He also shares a sweaty, bloody kiss with Kate Beckinsale. Meanwhile, Claire likes the sun, Mercutio likes Sun, and Charlie conjures up some invisible peanut butter. Oh, and Sun saves Shannon via the healing properties of Mentho-Lyptus."

das west wing

god bless cj craig. she's decided to "jump off a cliff" for president bartlett and take the position of chief of staff for the bartlett administration. in this week's episode, cj learns that the COS job isn't just state dinners and rides on marine 1. the republic of georgia has a stockpile of uranium that they want to sell to the us, and cj must jump into action. she proves that she's one kick ass daytonian and hits the learning curve head on -- even katie couric is pleased that a woman is getting the position, and when katie comments, the nation listens. anyhow, toby shits the bed in his first press briefing, and is forced to hire a sassy little blonde that'll be sure to shake things up in future episodes. speaking of the future, jimmy smitts' do-good-latino congressman character makes his first appearance of the season....does anyone smell democratic nominee? for now, however, josh is trying to keep smitts in the house, pushing a potentail patients bill of rights. overall, the season is progressing nicely. i think leo will end up dying, and a new transition into the new administration will be made.

TV Guide

Who's that lesbian on the cover of TV Guide? Oh, it's Clay Aiken, of course!

That Guy From the new Guess Campaign

Forget Paris Hilton and her Louis Vuitton sportin' ass...who is the boy in the ads with her?

check out www.guess.com

He's obviously a big 'ol nelly boy, as Paris complained about there being a lack of romantic charisma between the two of them...eh...who thinks her rail and bootish ass is attractive anyway? She has a good face, but that's about it. Chicken wings need a little meat on 'em. Does anyone else find it humorous that "Guess" defines their pieces as "Tops" and "Bottoms"...must be the closet queen in me.

But back to the matter at hand. Hot pool boy...who to date doensn't have a name. I got frustrated with Google, askJeeves, and HotBot. Can anyone help a brother out with this one?

Real (Skanky) World

And in this episode, Shavonda talks on the phone. Like, a lot. With Shaun. Her exboyfriend-slash-boyfriend.

It's also MJ's birthday. Besides running around the RR house dressed as Muja Star (his superhero alterego - by the way, it was funny when "The Miz" did it), nothing much happens.

Except Landon hooks up with a bartender. Shavonda, who I thought was overreacting until I saw the bartender's snake-skinned boots, continually complains how gross it is that Landon hooked up with her and that he probably has a disease now. She then says she will never share a bed with him again. Which is probably a good thing considering she made up with her exboyfriend-slash-boyfriend Shaun (who sent her a lame note along with flowers exclaiming "I am sorry and I love you" - how thoughtful).

Cut to Shavonda and Landon in bed together. Seriously.

By the way, did I miss the episode with Karamo going home? Oh wait, just saw him in a preview for next week. See ya then!

Battle of the Sexes Recap

And in this episode they build a boat. After contemplating using Robin's breasts as flotation devices, the girls decided to use the scrap of junk that the producers provided for them to build a boat. The boys did the same, but to less effect. Theo says, "We're like Noah's Arc, only on our ship we got two of every kind of idiot," apparently describing this entire season of The Battle of the Sexes . The girls finally win a round and, as a result, win a trip to Greece. Derrick is voted off since he started building the boat before he was supposed to, sparing Mike ("The Miz"), who screwed up in just about every other challenge. And in a surprise ousting by the girls, Cynthia goes home. I thought it would be Angela for sure. "See you bitches in Greece," Cynthia shouted as she exited. Most of the girls wanted Angela to go. So after finally winning a challenge, the girls' arguing has escalated to new heights. See ya next week, bitches!

Team America Reviews

Team America, probably the most expensive and most successful puppet movie of all time, has been getting rave reviews from just about all my friends that have seen it. What about the critics?

E! Online provides a synopsis: “In Team America, puppets sing, dance, explode, curse, puke and perform oral sex. In other words, it's exactly what you'd expect from South Park masterminds Trey Parker and Matt Stone.” Planet Sick-Boy writes Team America “made me laugh so hard, I almost blew snot all over my own mother. She was amused by neither the snot nor the film. Who could blame her? Nobody wants to watch naked marionettes pretzeled together in the Daisy Chain-Helicopter position while sitting next to a relative.” The Flick Filospher thinks, “If everyone else -- the Michael Moores and the Swift Boat Veterans and the Al Frankens and the Rush Limbaughs -- has been preaching to their own friendly choirs, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are dragging all those competing choirs out onto Main Street, farting on them, and telling them they're all full of shit.” The Filthy Critic doesn’t like it that much, calling it “a movie that plays like a really bad Hot Shots, but with puppets to add that extra little bit of shittiness.” And the Christian Spotlight on Entertainment refused to endorse the film, instead directing readers to other films (G-Rated) featuring puppets.

Oh those pesky paparazzo

"Cameron Diaz turned into a real-life Charlie's Angel as she tackled a pesky paparazzo, ripped the camera out of his hands and marched off with it. The 32-year-old star turned street brawler when photographers snapped her and boyfriend Justin Timberlake leaving Hollywood's Chateau Marmont hotel over the weekend."

One little camera-ripping episode and you too, can be a street brawler!!

"Meanwhile, Justin, 23, tried to block photographer Jos Gonzalez as he snapped pictures of the wild melee."

Nice guy... let your girlfriend do the dirty work.

"One of Diaz's sandals flew off in the fight -- but it didn't stop her from overpowering the lensman and marching off with her expensive prize."

Oh my god! How ever did she do it wearing only ONE sandal? Wow. She's amazing.

America's Sweetheart

It's nice to know that the woman who used to throw makeup at Madonna during Kurt Loder interviews has finally cleaned up her act.

"An arraignment scheduled in Los Angeles for Courtney Love, who has been charged with felony assault with a deadly weapon stemming from an April incident when Love allegedly bludgeoned another woman with a variety of objects, including a liquor bottle and a flashlight."

Lovely. Did Courtney intentionally shift careers from rock star to habitual felon?

Stupidest Audition Ever

Nicole Kidman, looking more and more like an elf these days, thinks she'd be the perfect choice to play Coco Chanel in a film version of the designers life. Kidman says, "I think I'd be too tall, but hey, why not. After all, Chanel No 5 was the first perfume I used and I've been faithful to it since I was 14."

Is that how she chooses her roles?

In Birth, she takes a bath with a 10-year-old boy. You gotta wonder what previous experience made her appropriate for that role?

Blame Game

"Jude Law's latest film Alfie's poor results at the American box office have been blamed on last week's presidential election," said Paramount president Wayne Llewellyn.

OK, Wayne. There are a lot of bad things that will come as a result of last week's election, Alfie's box office being none of them.

Llewellyn goes on to say, "It could be the mood of the country right now. It seems to be the result of the election. Maybe they didn't want to see a guy that slept around."

Anything's better than Bush. I'm going to see Alfie.

U2 Listening Party

It's actually on the web. And it's in Europe. But...

Tuesday, November 16, NME.COM will have a world exclusive stream of How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb from 9pm. That must be around 12pm on the West Coast?

According to coworkers, KROQ (in L.A.) has been playing most of the songs from the album.

UPDATE: VH1.com's "Hear Music First: U2" and MTV.com's "The Leak" will stream the entire album for free a week in advance of its November 23 release.

Manhunt Update

Carmen Electra showed up yesterday. She's the host, right?

Tate got kicked off. But the good sport didn't seem too bothered, admitting he was surprised he made it that far. I was surprised, too.

The "male model" judge, Bruce, is annoying, mainly because he says "male model" way too much.

The guest female judge (eat much?) had the same comment for each contestant: "more attitude." She also, like, totally uses the word like too much.

The episode was actually funny, and not in the usual train-wreck kind of way. Next week the show moves to Puerto Rico where the final five (actually four, if you count the "imbedded male model") compete for $100,000.

Bad Vibrations

I saw five minutes of "From Justin To Kelly," enough to know that whoever made the following decision didn't see any of the movie:

"He may have lost the first "American Idol" singing competition back in 2002 to Kelly Clarkson, but Justin Guarini has made the cut from the workshop production to the Broadway version of "Good Vibrations," the new musical that uses songs by the Beach Boys." - AP

And in Ohio news...

"Former Ohio State tailback Maurice Clarett accused coach Jim Tressel, his staff and school boosters of arranging for him to get passing grades, money for bogus summer jobs, thousands of dollars in cash and loaner cars. The school immediately labeled the charges as lies."

Haven't we been down this road already with this Clarett character?

"Friends and family members say Clarett has been working out at an undisclosed location with a personal trainer in preparation for the 2005 NFL draft. He has not spoken publicly in months."

Oh, so then this new accusation is a way to get his name back in circulation?

"Clarett said the main reason why he spoke with ESPN was because he wanted to "clear his name" with NFL owners and general managers."

I see... the appeals to the courts weren't panning out so now he's making these accusations? Why weren't these brought up previously? Does this guy really think the NFL is going to take him seriously?

Frankly, I'm tired of this Maurice guy. Would someone just make him go away already?

Always good news...

According to Rolling Stone, a lot of bad-ass musicians have some new stuff coming out soon...

OUTKAST is currently at work on a new album, titled 10 the Hard Way, featuring the duo returning to their rap roots.

Rockers QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE will release their third album, Lullabies to Paralyze, on March 22nd. Guest appearances for the still in-the-works record will include GARBAGE frontwoman SHIRLEY MANSON and the DISTILLERS' BRODY DALLE.

NINE INCH NAILS' next album, slated for the end of the year, has been pushed back to March. The original title, Bleedthrough, has also been scrapped. Frontman TRENT REZNOR does promise, however, that the eventual release will be accompanied by "extensive touring."

The ROOTS are in the studio recording their seventh album, Game Theory, due in stores next August.

And in other news, BRITNEY is releasing her "Greatest Hits" album this month.

Four More Years...

I just turned on the news to see what happened in Iraq today (apparently a juror was excused.... oh, wait... wrong story), and they're talking about the 2008 Presidential Election and who might run. PLEASE! STOP! Give us a few days before this starts up again.

Polar Express

An early review from Planet Sick-Boy:

"But be warned: When I say “computer animated,” I don’t mean the good, cartoonish way, like The Incredibles.  I mean the unsettling “realistic” way, like Final Fantasy, with characters sharing the same creepy, dead-behind-the-eyes look of the robots in The Hall of Presidents at Disney World.  Or Kate Hudson."

He gives it a 5 out of 10. Meanwhile, The Incredibles gets a 10. Sick-Boy is usually pretty reliable.

Boogie Nights

"Pamela Seals, the former longtime girlfriend of Burt Reynolds, has sued the actor for palimony and assault and battery. The filing comes a day after Reynolds sued Seals for extortion." - E!

Sounds like a nice relationship of "give and take" they have.

Huff

"The hourlong drama starring Hank Azaria as a troubled psychiatrist drew just 456,000 total viewers -- a big disappointment for the premium channel given the multimillion-dollar marketing blitz it lavished on the series." - AP

Good. Last week, EW had a free DVD of the first episode. I saw it. And then I threw it away.

TGI(not)F

What is happening to ABC? The less the Olsen twins eat, the less ABC sucks!

Unfortunately, "Alias" is still on hiatus. But "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives" are both must-see-TV, and both had their largest audience this past week (18.7 and 24.6 million viewers, respectively). And "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is a good cry (so is "Extreme Makeover," but in a bad way).

If you're not watching ABC, you should tune in. Tonight's episode of "Lost" focuses on the "bad" guy. It's a good place to start.

I liked Bobby Brown's version better...

Six words I never thought I would ever say!

From Britney's Letter To Her Fans:

"I'm just getting back from my honeymoon and it was absolutely breathtaking," Spears gushes as the letter begins. "This is the happiest I've ever been in my life."

Happier than last year's marriage?

"I may be disappointing some fans out there, but I don't think I'll do another tour for a couple of years."

Nope. No disappointment here. The feeling's more like relief.

"I'm redecorating a lot of things because when we decide to start a family, everything in it needs to be perfecto! I love decorating; it's very therapeutic for me. I believe your house is a reflection of yourself, so I want everything in mine to be exquisite."

If it's a reflection of yourself, then "exquisite" isn't the first word to come to mind. Remember, there are pictures of you coming out of gas station bathrooms without shoes. Plus, you just used the word "perfecto."

Don't Speak

Lindsay Lohan's new album, Speak, will be released.

"As an actress, Lohan is immersed in six film projects in various stages of development, including a revival of the "Herbie" franchise, a starring role as a young fashion designer in "Fashionistas" and an as-yet-untitled project with fellow musician/actor Nick Cannon."

With a film career like that, how can she NOT be taken seriously as a musician. I bet she's even better than Ms. Lopez!

Good Education

If you haven't seen a Pedro Almodovar film before, treat yourself. This quote is, I think, why he is such an amazingly emotional filmmaker.

"For me, premieres are like when you fall in love," Almodovar explained, speaking in Spanish. "It's like the first time in that it's going to last forever. So, in that sense, this premiere is like the first time I've premiered the movie, and that's the way I'm celebrating it." - AP

He is such a romantic. Check out "All About My Mother" and "Talk To Her," and then go see "Bad Education." But not too close together or you may become a cross-dresser.

No Golden Globe For You

I thought you automatically got a nomination if you are famous and you had a movie released, but apparently the Golden Globes DO have rules. Father Mel's "The Passion" cannot be nominated for Best Picture:

"As you know 'The Passion of the Christ' is not in English and under our rules it qualifies as a foreign language film even though it was produced and directed by an American," said a member of the Hollywood Foreign Press.

He also forgot to mention that it's a really shitty movie.

Country Music Awards

Can you say ick? What was with all the ratty jeans on the men? You know these people can afford to clean up for an awards show. Between that and Randy Travis' mumbling, uh, I mean singing, it all got on my nerves and I had to quit watching. I was pretty happy Martina McBride won a big award though. She's pretty cool.

And by the way, I think Willie had a doobie stashed in his braid.

Best.Night.Of.TV.Ever.

If only Six Feet Under or The Sopranos were on, too, it would've been the most incredible night of television ever.

Simpsons is back, but next week is the "official" season premiere. Last night was the very wacky Treehouse of Terror episode.

Arrested Development is back!! The first ten minutes had me laughing hysterically, and the rest of the episode never really let up. And Julie Walters brought back the face that Jason Bateman asked never to see again. Classic.

Desperate Housewives. Why do we have to wait two weeks to see the next episode? Oh yeah, so Ashlee Simpson can lip-synch at the American Music Awards.

Sweet Sweet Dallas

god bless dallas. seriously. ok, so the network dallas reunion aired last night. this reunion was much better than the soapnet reunion which you can find on the new seasons 1-2 dvds. here are the nuts and bolts: the cast talks to each other.....they have really bad patter.....then they talk about the "who shot JR" episode, go through the 10 best cliffhangers in dallas, then we saw bloopers, larry hagman's home videos of the cast, and then questions from the fans. here are a few things that i've noticed. sue ellen looks phenominal......simply beautiful. i would have put money on victoria principle aging better, but sue ellen was damn hot. this is explained by the fact that she took kathleen turner's place as mrs. robinson in broadway's "graduate." victoria principle has had a lot of botox, and a lot of lip work. charlene tilton(lucy) is a slut, and none of the other women like her. JR must have had sex with all of them. bobby is gay. i'll write more on all this later.

Rent Cast

From E! Online:

FOR RENT: Rosario Dawson signing on for the film adaptation of Broadway musical Rent, per the Hollywood Reporter.

Word has it that most of the original Broadway cast (Adam Pascal, Idina Menzel, Taye Diggs, Jesse L. Martin) will be in the film version. The only problem is... Christopher Columbus is directing this. He directed "Home Alone" and "Stepmom." What happened to the rumors that Spike Lee was gonna direct this? He would bring much more grit to this project.

Best Animated Feature

It's November, so everyone has begun talking about the Oscars. Frankly, there are only a few films I can think of so far this year that are worthy of the top prize: Eternal Sunshine and Garden State. Neither will be nominated. As for the animated category, here are the contenders:

- The Incredibles
- Shrek 2
- Shark Tale
- SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
- The Polar Express
- Home on the Range
- Teacher's Pet
- Ghost in the Shell 2
- Clifford's Really Big Movie
- Sky Blue
- The Legend of Buddha

I have to admit, I've only seen Shrek so far. But from what I've heard about The Incredibles, it is the one to beat in 2005.

Team America

I'm behind on everything, especially going to the movies. Last night I saw Team America, and it is quite possibly the best movie I have ever seen that stars puppets. Several songs stood out for their hilarious lyrics, but my favorite may be "America, fuck yeah!" And of course, the sex scene is ridiculous! I have to sort out what Trey and Matt are saying about America's fight against terror, but it sure does skewer both Republicans and Democrats (Sarandan's death scene is especially nasty). I definitely recommend everyone to check it out.

Worst.News.Ever.

The upcoming 5th season of Six Feet Under will apparently be the final season.

"The pay cabler confirmed Friday that the upcoming fifth season of "Six Feet" will be the last for the ensemble drama revolving around the trials and tribulations of a family that runs a mortuary. Series creator/executive producer Alan Ball recently informed HBO executives that he felt the show will have run its creative course by the end of the upcoming 12-episode season." - Hollywood Reporter

Sad news for people who enjoy compelling and complicated television.

Worst.Birthday.Ever.

My birthday was November 3rd. Not only was I hungover, riding in a car all day for business, but George Bush won reelection. Politics has consumed me the past several months, especially the final week of the election. I think Joe will agree. However, we are back!