Friday, October 27

Things That Bug Me

I'd like to start a new feature here on Sluts. It's not that I am a negative person or even generally prone to complaining, but I do my fair share and why not share my gripes with my fellow readers?

The thing that's bugging me today?

Toilet paper.

Yup. The stuff you wipe your ass with. The item you, yes you, have purchased in gigantuan quantities in order to wreak havoc around the yard and landscaping of the kid you used to make fun of back in eighth grade.

Exactly what about toilet paper is bugging me? No, it's not the fact that I am the only person in my household who seems to understand the mind-boggling mechanical undertaking involved in changing the dispenser... nor is it the fact that companies seem to be selling ever-larger packages of the stuff, making it seem as though your household has a persistent case of diarrhea.

What's really bothering me is when you place a fresh roll on the holder, the end of the paper has been sufficiently glued so that one is unable to pry it away from the rest of the roll without having shredded the entire area and/or splitting the layers unevenly so that it doesn't roll out properly and/or only a portion of the paper begins to unroll instead of the entire layer.

Why must Mr. Whipple make things so damn difficult? It's a freaking roll of tissue paper for god's sake!!! Am I the only one who finds this entirely frustrating?

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