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Wednesday, March 1
Idol Chatter
So I watched last night and can say I am not wowed by any of the ladies. I did, however, catch a glimpse of Ace, which was quite satisfying, if I do say so myself. Definitely made the show worth watching! But I digress.... here's a nice recap from EW:
Wait just a minute here. We're only on the second week of semifinals for season 5 of American Idol, and already the contestants are hedging their bets? Not a bad strategy, perhaps — if you're the kind of singer who's content with merely making it to the final 12. But in a season where at least seven or eight wannabes look like potential champs, safe really ought to be added to the list of banned four-letter words.
Indeed, of the 10 women who performed tonight, I'd argue that half — Paris Bennett, Katharine McPhee, Lisa Tucker, Kinnik Sky, and Melissa McPhee — left a little something in the kitchen cupboard, to paraphrase the increasingly incoherent Randy Jackson. That may not pose an immediate problem for the first three (all of them early front-runners), but I'm betting Kinnik and Melissa's trepidation will result in a reprieve for either the insufferable Brenna Gethers or the depressing Heather Cox.
And seriously, if there's even a chance we'll have to endure another week of Brenna's vocal poison, then Paris and Katharine had better come with the antidote. To be fair, Paris's ''Wind Beneath My Wings'' showcased another powerful vocal this week, but the gifted teen's previous showstoppers — including last week's buoyant ''Midnight Train to Georgia'' — have set the bar so high that it's no longer acceptable just to hear her color within Bette Midler's pre-established outline. What's more, Paris should be careful about looking skyward and declaring, ''I have favor,'' before she takes the stage; you don't have to be the pet student in Bible study to know that pride goeth before a fall, mmkay, kiddo?
Katharine, on the other hand, might as well have waved a white flag to wrap up her listless (though at least on-key) take on Stevie Wonder's ''All in Love Is Fair.'' I'm not sure what her problem was this week, although I'd like to think she was regretting her decision to wear that unflattering halter top, which made it look like her waist started just beneath her cleavage. Egads!
Come to think of it, maybe the Idol producers assigned the same stylist to Lisa, whose overlapping yellow and pink tank tops seemed better suited to a slumber party than to a wobbly live performance of the Jackson 5's ''Who's Lovin' You.'' Good thing for the human doll, she's got enough fans from the audition rounds — and enough love from the judges — to get a free pass into next week.
Kinnik and Melissa have no such luxury, however, which makes their forgettable renditions of ''Here for the Party'' and ''Why Haven't I Heard From You'' all that much harder to understand. If either is lucky enough to last another week, might I suggest a nonstop soundtrack of Eminem's ''Lose Yourself''? The song's chorus pretty much drives home a crucial Idol lesson that seems to have escaped both women: ''You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.'' (Yes, I know there's something kind of unseemly about quoting Eminem in an American Idol TV Watch, and I promise never to do it again.)
Oh, and speaking of unseemly, how about that Brenna? Yeah, they say that disco never died, but it sure as heck received a knee to its groin tonight in the form of her abysmal ''Last Dance.'' You'd think the girl who survived elimination last week on pure chutzpah would've at least brought the attitude this week, but I think deep down she realized she was in no position to tackle a legend like Donna Summer. In some ways, it was the musical equivalent of pitting a toy poodle against a pit bull; one of 'em had better drop to the floor and recognize its inferiority — even if its nifty hammered-metal earrings kinda looked like disco balls.
I could use the same analogy for Heather's attempt to sing Mariah Carey's ''Hero,'' but what would be the point? The big-eyed blonde is never going to make the final 12 anyway, so let's save ourselves the painful trip down memory lane and, instead, ponder the three performers who took some risks and, at least to a certain degree, succeeded.
While Ayla Brown's ''I Want You to Need Me'' was probably my least favorite of these three, I had to completely agree with Simon and Paula's assessments that she works harder and seems to want to win as much as or more than any of her competitors. Indeed, choosing a Celine Dion song proved the kid is ambitious; choosing one of her lesser-known hits (and skipping the played-out ''My Heart Will Go On'') showed she's savvy too. And best of all, by discussing her tomboy roots (and the fact that she only recently discovered what foundation is), Ayla came across as winningly real. That's more than I'm willing to say for Gosh-Golly Pickler, who's coming off a bit too wide-eyed by half, but I'll be darned if her gritty ''Something to Talk About'' wasn't one of the evening's best performances. (Extra points for actually working the stage, Pickles.)
Still, any way you slice it, this ladies' night belonged to Mandisa! and her unflinching reinterpretation of Faith Hill's ''Cry.'' Like Randy, I heard a couple of rough notes from the plus-size beauty, but I also heard something that's all too rare on the Idol stage: an artist who's able to erase a well-known hit from my brain and make me feel as if I were hearing it for the very first time. Add to that Mandisa!'s genre-spanning comfort zone, as well as her megawatt personality (''dog jaw!''), and it's clear why playing it safe simply won't cut it for her competition.
Wait just a minute here. We're only on the second week of semifinals for season 5 of American Idol, and already the contestants are hedging their bets? Not a bad strategy, perhaps — if you're the kind of singer who's content with merely making it to the final 12. But in a season where at least seven or eight wannabes look like potential champs, safe really ought to be added to the list of banned four-letter words.
Indeed, of the 10 women who performed tonight, I'd argue that half — Paris Bennett, Katharine McPhee, Lisa Tucker, Kinnik Sky, and Melissa McPhee — left a little something in the kitchen cupboard, to paraphrase the increasingly incoherent Randy Jackson. That may not pose an immediate problem for the first three (all of them early front-runners), but I'm betting Kinnik and Melissa's trepidation will result in a reprieve for either the insufferable Brenna Gethers or the depressing Heather Cox.
And seriously, if there's even a chance we'll have to endure another week of Brenna's vocal poison, then Paris and Katharine had better come with the antidote. To be fair, Paris's ''Wind Beneath My Wings'' showcased another powerful vocal this week, but the gifted teen's previous showstoppers — including last week's buoyant ''Midnight Train to Georgia'' — have set the bar so high that it's no longer acceptable just to hear her color within Bette Midler's pre-established outline. What's more, Paris should be careful about looking skyward and declaring, ''I have favor,'' before she takes the stage; you don't have to be the pet student in Bible study to know that pride goeth before a fall, mmkay, kiddo?
Katharine, on the other hand, might as well have waved a white flag to wrap up her listless (though at least on-key) take on Stevie Wonder's ''All in Love Is Fair.'' I'm not sure what her problem was this week, although I'd like to think she was regretting her decision to wear that unflattering halter top, which made it look like her waist started just beneath her cleavage. Egads!
Come to think of it, maybe the Idol producers assigned the same stylist to Lisa, whose overlapping yellow and pink tank tops seemed better suited to a slumber party than to a wobbly live performance of the Jackson 5's ''Who's Lovin' You.'' Good thing for the human doll, she's got enough fans from the audition rounds — and enough love from the judges — to get a free pass into next week.
Kinnik and Melissa have no such luxury, however, which makes their forgettable renditions of ''Here for the Party'' and ''Why Haven't I Heard From You'' all that much harder to understand. If either is lucky enough to last another week, might I suggest a nonstop soundtrack of Eminem's ''Lose Yourself''? The song's chorus pretty much drives home a crucial Idol lesson that seems to have escaped both women: ''You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.'' (Yes, I know there's something kind of unseemly about quoting Eminem in an American Idol TV Watch, and I promise never to do it again.)
Oh, and speaking of unseemly, how about that Brenna? Yeah, they say that disco never died, but it sure as heck received a knee to its groin tonight in the form of her abysmal ''Last Dance.'' You'd think the girl who survived elimination last week on pure chutzpah would've at least brought the attitude this week, but I think deep down she realized she was in no position to tackle a legend like Donna Summer. In some ways, it was the musical equivalent of pitting a toy poodle against a pit bull; one of 'em had better drop to the floor and recognize its inferiority — even if its nifty hammered-metal earrings kinda looked like disco balls.
I could use the same analogy for Heather's attempt to sing Mariah Carey's ''Hero,'' but what would be the point? The big-eyed blonde is never going to make the final 12 anyway, so let's save ourselves the painful trip down memory lane and, instead, ponder the three performers who took some risks and, at least to a certain degree, succeeded.
While Ayla Brown's ''I Want You to Need Me'' was probably my least favorite of these three, I had to completely agree with Simon and Paula's assessments that she works harder and seems to want to win as much as or more than any of her competitors. Indeed, choosing a Celine Dion song proved the kid is ambitious; choosing one of her lesser-known hits (and skipping the played-out ''My Heart Will Go On'') showed she's savvy too. And best of all, by discussing her tomboy roots (and the fact that she only recently discovered what foundation is), Ayla came across as winningly real. That's more than I'm willing to say for Gosh-Golly Pickler, who's coming off a bit too wide-eyed by half, but I'll be darned if her gritty ''Something to Talk About'' wasn't one of the evening's best performances. (Extra points for actually working the stage, Pickles.)
Still, any way you slice it, this ladies' night belonged to Mandisa! and her unflinching reinterpretation of Faith Hill's ''Cry.'' Like Randy, I heard a couple of rough notes from the plus-size beauty, but I also heard something that's all too rare on the Idol stage: an artist who's able to erase a well-known hit from my brain and make me feel as if I were hearing it for the very first time. Add to that Mandisa!'s genre-spanning comfort zone, as well as her megawatt personality (''dog jaw!''), and it's clear why playing it safe simply won't cut it for her competition.
Amazing Race Recap
Well... it's sorta a recap... thanks to RealityBlurred. Really loving the "old" format of Amazing Race. When it's good, there's nothing better to watch (at least in terms of reality TV).
Amazing Race
And here's a great run-down of the AR "couples", thanks to EW!
Meet The New Duos
Amazing Race
And here's a great run-down of the AR "couples", thanks to EW!
Meet The New Duos
Tuesday, February 28
And the best music...
Ryan Adams put out three great albums.
Sia's "Breathe Me" ended Six Feet Under brilliantly.
Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah is one weird band.
Danger Doom put out a quirky, fun album called "The Mouse and the Mask" based on Adult Swim!
Madonna made up for a shitty American Life with "Confessions from a Dancefloor"
Death Cab For Cutie made another good one ("Plans").
Sufjan Stevens and Fiona Apple, I can't stop listening to either you.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (probably my new favorite band) put out a helluvan album called "Howl."
Franz Ferdinand is making it hard for other bands to come up with such great guitar hooks!
Gorillaz and Sigur Ros put out some of the most interesting stuff.
...another band that is now one of my favorites: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead...
AND the best concerts:
-U2 (of course)
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (tight)
-NIN (loud)
-Ray LaMontagne (wonderful acoustic)
And that's all for now.
Sia's "Breathe Me" ended Six Feet Under brilliantly.
Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah is one weird band.
Danger Doom put out a quirky, fun album called "The Mouse and the Mask" based on Adult Swim!
Madonna made up for a shitty American Life with "Confessions from a Dancefloor"
Death Cab For Cutie made another good one ("Plans").
Sufjan Stevens and Fiona Apple, I can't stop listening to either you.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (probably my new favorite band) put out a helluvan album called "Howl."
Franz Ferdinand is making it hard for other bands to come up with such great guitar hooks!
Gorillaz and Sigur Ros put out some of the most interesting stuff.
...another band that is now one of my favorites: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead...
AND the best concerts:
-U2 (of course)
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (tight)
-NIN (loud)
-Ray LaMontagne (wonderful acoustic)
And that's all for now.
Okay, it's time...
...to list my favorite films of 2005, in alphabetical order:
BATMAN BEGINS
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY
HAPPY ENDINGS
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
MUNICH
MURDERBALL
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
TRANSAMERICA
Looking over this list, it hasn't been a great year for movies. (I mean... the list should be much longer!)
BUT I still have to see:
Good Night & Good Luck
Capote
Match Point
King Kong
Hustle & Flow
Biggest Let Down (that I saw):
Rent
(I usually stay away from movies I think I won't like.)
BATMAN BEGINS
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY
HAPPY ENDINGS
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
MUNICH
MURDERBALL
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
TRANSAMERICA
Looking over this list, it hasn't been a great year for movies. (I mean... the list should be much longer!)
BUT I still have to see:
Good Night & Good Luck
Capote
Match Point
King Kong
Hustle & Flow
Biggest Let Down (that I saw):
Rent
(I usually stay away from movies I think I won't like.)
New Music Tuesday
Arctic Monkeys: Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Jack Johnson: Sing-a-longs & Lullabies For the Film Curious George
James Blunt: Back to Bedlam
Richard Ashcroft: Keys to the World
Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures
13 & God: 13 & God
Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Animal Collective: Feels
Say Anything: Is a Real Boy
Plus singles/b-sides from:
U2
Bloc Party
Coldplay
Franz Ferdinand
Jack Johnson: Sing-a-longs & Lullabies For the Film Curious George
James Blunt: Back to Bedlam
Richard Ashcroft: Keys to the World
Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures
13 & God: 13 & God
Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Animal Collective: Feels
Say Anything: Is a Real Boy
Plus singles/b-sides from:
U2
Bloc Party
Coldplay
Franz Ferdinand
Arrested Development
The Showtime deal is harder to figure out than the engagement of Keith Urban and Nikki Kidman. But Page Six is reporting that Showtime picked it up for 26 episodes (2 seasons). And this could quite possibly be the best news ever!
Tuesday Tube
Okay, lots of goodies for today. Hope your Tivo (and if you don't have one, why the hell not????????) is prepped and ready to go!
First off and most importantly, Amazing Race 9 debuts with a two-hour premier tonight on CBS at 9pm
Deal or No Deal is on tonight. I have not watched the show but hear it's quite entertaining. It's on NBC and starts at 8pm.
8pm on FOX brings us American Idol. Love this show. Definitely has a spot on my season pass.
For those still subjecting themselves to the train wreck called the Real World, it premiers tonight at 10pm on MTV. I used to look forward to this show. Now it's become a complete parody of itself and is no longer worth watching.
And finally a couple oddball tidbits....
We learn that Fear Factor may not be coming back. Was anyone even watching this? It's so like, 3 years ago.
And last night we learned Travis picked Sarah. I predict they will stay together for the obligatory publicity tour and then go their separate ways. Can anyone tell me why this show is still on the air?
First off and most importantly, Amazing Race 9 debuts with a two-hour premier tonight on CBS at 9pm
Deal or No Deal is on tonight. I have not watched the show but hear it's quite entertaining. It's on NBC and starts at 8pm.
8pm on FOX brings us American Idol. Love this show. Definitely has a spot on my season pass.
For those still subjecting themselves to the train wreck called the Real World, it premiers tonight at 10pm on MTV. I used to look forward to this show. Now it's become a complete parody of itself and is no longer worth watching.
And finally a couple oddball tidbits....
We learn that Fear Factor may not be coming back. Was anyone even watching this? It's so like, 3 years ago.
And last night we learned Travis picked Sarah. I predict they will stay together for the obligatory publicity tour and then go their separate ways. Can anyone tell me why this show is still on the air?
Monday, February 27
John Leguizamo
He was at the dog park yesterday. Seems like a really nice guy, but I felt bad when everyone at the park crowded around him and did tricks with their dogs, like he was a freaking circus ringleader or something. Leave the man alone!
TWP on GA
Wow. We spend FAR too much time between Addison's legs during this episode. I mean, really. Thankfully, though, we don't become personally acquainted with her va-jay-jay. As it turns out, Addison got poison oak on her pookie and she thinks this is a karmic payback for screwing Mark a year ago. Addison finally clues Derek in on her blistering cootch and he enjoys a good hearty laugh over it, as do we all.
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as he…just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as he…just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
Grey's
I passed out before the end, but did anyone else think about why George was the voiceover? Is that the first time?
AD News from Kristin
"Hey all --I, too, have seen the report on betterthanfudge.com that Arrested has been picked up for 12 episodes. My source (*Very reliable*) says: "No deal yet. It's closer, but not done. The chances are now 50/50. "Yee!!! So good news -- it looks like Arrested could be saved! Go Bluths!"
Alias is back!!!
And it's got a cushy time period!
From E!'s Kristin: "ALIAS IS COMING BACK IN APRIL FOR 8 FINAL HOURS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 8 PM! I'm told that there will be a two-hour midseason premiere, then four episodes, then a 2-hour finale in May."
From E!'s Kristin: "ALIAS IS COMING BACK IN APRIL FOR 8 FINAL HOURS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 8 PM! I'm told that there will be a two-hour midseason premiere, then four episodes, then a 2-hour finale in May."
LOST Theory
Courtesy of EW:
1. THE ISLAND: It's Alive!
Our theory of Lost begins with the question posed in the pilot by smack-addled rocker Charlie: ''Guys...where are we?'' Some have argued that the island could be a hallucination — ''A Psychological Shipwreck,'' to use the title of an 1879 short story by Lost-linked author Ambrose Bierce. Or an alien twilight zone. It's tempting to go with ''limbo'' — an elastic enough idea to corral the show's incredible coincidences and odd details, like a smoke monster and a band of child-swiping Others. But we believe the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 aren't stuck in a mass delusion or a satanic mousetrap. They're alive on the island. A haunted island. And it was made that way by the Dharma Initiative.
2. THE DHARMA INITIATIVE: Head Games
What we know about Dharma is incomplete at best, utterly bogus at worst. According to a choppy ''orientation film'' found in the hatch, Dharma founders Gerald and Karen DeGroot established a research facility on the island in the 1970s to conduct experiments in meteorology, zoology, electromagnetism, psychology, and parapsychology — a dubious science that believes the brain houses mind-over-matter powers. (Think X-Men, Jedi Knights, and sci-fi author Robert Heinlein, whose 1941 short story Lost Legacy is about kids realizing their psychic potential under the tutelage of — COINCIDENCE ALERT! — Ambrose Bierce.) Our theory is that intentionally or not, the Dharma team pulled loose psychic powers from one of its test subjects — skip to No. 5 for the answer about who that might be — with disastrous results. How? With fear. Where? Where else, down in...
3. THE HATCH: Human Testing
The orientation film claims the hatch was originally used to study the island's ''unique'' electromagnetic energy. And indeed, there is a curious wall that seems to be humming with the stuff. But the filmstrip also states that the DeGroots were following B.F. Skinner, a psychologist famous for his Skinner boxes: controlled environments used to study animal behavior. Folks, the hatch is a human Skinner box.
Why wasn't this mentioned in the orientation film? Because the orientation film is part of the experiment! The film was fiction, designed to induce paranoia and fear and observe the test subject's reaction. What Dharma was studying was the behavior every Lost fanatic engages in: the human imperative to organize seemingly random details into some kind of order. The problem is that someone — someone we haven't seen or met yet — was put in the hatch and had a psychic break of world-altering proportions.
4. THE NUMBERS: Those Damn Yankees!
It has been Lost's most baffling conundrum: the seemingly inexplicable connection between Hurley's havoc-causing Lotto picks — 4 8 15 16 23 42 — and the hatch's computer code. This is a two-part riddle. First, the original purpose of the numbers: Skinner box experiments require test subjects to execute empty tasks, like pulling levers or, say, inputting digits into a computer. The Dharma-ites chose the sequence because...they were big Yankee fans, and each number correlates to a retired Yankee jersey. But the second question is far more important: What purpose do the numbers serve now? There are lots of out-there (and fun) ways to go with this, but the truth is that the numbers don't do anything. The ''cursed'' digits are just one more sinister detail in Dharma's elaborate sleight of hand intended to freak out test subjects. The problem was that extreme stress on the subject in the hatch combined with the electromagnetic energy down there to jar loose some suppressed psychic powers. And it jarred them loose in the wrong individual. In that explosive moment, the once meaningless digits were encoded with devilish life. Hence, Hurley's bad luck, and a virus that is rewriting reality on the island.
5. THE ANSWER TO 'LOST': The Island Is Haunted by a Powerful Psychic
The Dharma experiments resulted in the creation of a potent disembodied being. A being deeply steeped in pop culture — think about all the novels, comic books, and random flotsam that make up the DNA of Lost — and powerful enough to bring those bits of pop culture to life. Someone who imprinted his consciousness on the island. Someone whose radioactive corpse was walled up in the hatch. Someone named Aaron.
So how did the Oceanic crew end up on the island? Aaron summoned them, because he has as-yet-undetermined uses for each of them...and he needed a new body. The body of a then-unborn baby. Claire's baby. Which is why the Others (Aaron's followers) have tried to kidnap her child. And why they had to snatch poor, psychic Walt — remember that dead bird from season 1? — who was the only one with the ability to see through their plan.
Of course, the castaways could all be dead. It could be a mass hallucination. The Others could be trying to secure franchise rights to the Twilight Zone Dairy Queen. But this is our story, and we're sticking to it. At least until the start of the next episode.
---Jen here.... I don't know about anyone else but if I am a victim of a fucking Skinner box experiment, I am going postal on somebody!!!!!!!!
1. THE ISLAND: It's Alive!
Our theory of Lost begins with the question posed in the pilot by smack-addled rocker Charlie: ''Guys...where are we?'' Some have argued that the island could be a hallucination — ''A Psychological Shipwreck,'' to use the title of an 1879 short story by Lost-linked author Ambrose Bierce. Or an alien twilight zone. It's tempting to go with ''limbo'' — an elastic enough idea to corral the show's incredible coincidences and odd details, like a smoke monster and a band of child-swiping Others. But we believe the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 aren't stuck in a mass delusion or a satanic mousetrap. They're alive on the island. A haunted island. And it was made that way by the Dharma Initiative.
2. THE DHARMA INITIATIVE: Head Games
What we know about Dharma is incomplete at best, utterly bogus at worst. According to a choppy ''orientation film'' found in the hatch, Dharma founders Gerald and Karen DeGroot established a research facility on the island in the 1970s to conduct experiments in meteorology, zoology, electromagnetism, psychology, and parapsychology — a dubious science that believes the brain houses mind-over-matter powers. (Think X-Men, Jedi Knights, and sci-fi author Robert Heinlein, whose 1941 short story Lost Legacy is about kids realizing their psychic potential under the tutelage of — COINCIDENCE ALERT! — Ambrose Bierce.) Our theory is that intentionally or not, the Dharma team pulled loose psychic powers from one of its test subjects — skip to No. 5 for the answer about who that might be — with disastrous results. How? With fear. Where? Where else, down in...
3. THE HATCH: Human Testing
The orientation film claims the hatch was originally used to study the island's ''unique'' electromagnetic energy. And indeed, there is a curious wall that seems to be humming with the stuff. But the filmstrip also states that the DeGroots were following B.F. Skinner, a psychologist famous for his Skinner boxes: controlled environments used to study animal behavior. Folks, the hatch is a human Skinner box.
Why wasn't this mentioned in the orientation film? Because the orientation film is part of the experiment! The film was fiction, designed to induce paranoia and fear and observe the test subject's reaction. What Dharma was studying was the behavior every Lost fanatic engages in: the human imperative to organize seemingly random details into some kind of order. The problem is that someone — someone we haven't seen or met yet — was put in the hatch and had a psychic break of world-altering proportions.
4. THE NUMBERS: Those Damn Yankees!
It has been Lost's most baffling conundrum: the seemingly inexplicable connection between Hurley's havoc-causing Lotto picks — 4 8 15 16 23 42 — and the hatch's computer code. This is a two-part riddle. First, the original purpose of the numbers: Skinner box experiments require test subjects to execute empty tasks, like pulling levers or, say, inputting digits into a computer. The Dharma-ites chose the sequence because...they were big Yankee fans, and each number correlates to a retired Yankee jersey. But the second question is far more important: What purpose do the numbers serve now? There are lots of out-there (and fun) ways to go with this, but the truth is that the numbers don't do anything. The ''cursed'' digits are just one more sinister detail in Dharma's elaborate sleight of hand intended to freak out test subjects. The problem was that extreme stress on the subject in the hatch combined with the electromagnetic energy down there to jar loose some suppressed psychic powers. And it jarred them loose in the wrong individual. In that explosive moment, the once meaningless digits were encoded with devilish life. Hence, Hurley's bad luck, and a virus that is rewriting reality on the island.
5. THE ANSWER TO 'LOST': The Island Is Haunted by a Powerful Psychic
The Dharma experiments resulted in the creation of a potent disembodied being. A being deeply steeped in pop culture — think about all the novels, comic books, and random flotsam that make up the DNA of Lost — and powerful enough to bring those bits of pop culture to life. Someone who imprinted his consciousness on the island. Someone whose radioactive corpse was walled up in the hatch. Someone named Aaron.
So how did the Oceanic crew end up on the island? Aaron summoned them, because he has as-yet-undetermined uses for each of them...and he needed a new body. The body of a then-unborn baby. Claire's baby. Which is why the Others (Aaron's followers) have tried to kidnap her child. And why they had to snatch poor, psychic Walt — remember that dead bird from season 1? — who was the only one with the ability to see through their plan.
Of course, the castaways could all be dead. It could be a mass hallucination. The Others could be trying to secure franchise rights to the Twilight Zone Dairy Queen. But this is our story, and we're sticking to it. At least until the start of the next episode.
---Jen here.... I don't know about anyone else but if I am a victim of a fucking Skinner box experiment, I am going postal on somebody!!!!!!!!
Shocked
That Sheryl has breast cancer. I hope she recovers well, and maybe she and Lance will give it another go?
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