Thursday, March 9
Jennifer Love Hewitt
I guess if you can't find a TV show that will last longer than two weeks, then you pose in Playboy. Good luck, Love.
Nora Ephron
"Will Somebody Please Get Rid Of This President?"
Well, that's the smartest thing she's ever said.
In case you're yearning for more Nick Lachey
The new network CW has greenlit a series called He Said, She Said. Producers are currently in negotiations with Nick Lachey to star.
In case you're yearning for more reality.
Bunim-Murray Productions has formed M Theory Entertainment, a spin-off company focusing on new media initiatives. M Theory Entertainment will provide fresh content while adapting BMP's existing programming for the Internet and mobile wireless devices. Already underway are 36 mobisodes produced for The Simple Life which will be available through Verizon V-Cast.
Lost: EW Theories Update!!!
Among hardcore Lostophiles — or at least among obsessives like me who try to decipher the show the way Dan Brown tries to decode Da Vinci paintings — there can occur what I like to call a ''Road to Damascus'' moment, the giddy euphoria that can consume a soul after an encounter with epiphany. For the less religiously inclined, we can call this a ''Keanu Reeves says Whoa!'' moment, as in, ''Dude! I just saw through the Matrix! Whoa.''
Shortly after Entertainment Weekly published Doc Jensen's super-string Aaron Theory of Lost, hundreds of you wrote me with your own theories and Whoa! stories, and beginning next week at EW.com, I'm going to share some of your scholarship and personal testimonies twice a week, in addition to giving you some new Lost gold nuggets (or fool's gold, depending on your POV) of my own.
To kick off the weekly dialogue, I'd like to turn you on to fellow Lostologist Sean Dunleavy. You can check out his intelligently reasoned mega-theory that Lost is an intricately and knowingly constructed allegory for the Patriot Act age in general and the war in Iraq specifically at his website. But several days after e-mailing me his politically charged manifesto, Sean sent me another e-mail, this one bursting with Whoa!-moment giddiness:
''I've just had a massive revelation re: the Flashbacks, the bizarre coincidences found in the Flashbacks, the Hatch, and the Numbers... The coincidences never occurred. The Flashbacks can't be trusted. Why not? Because inside the Hatch there's a great big transmitter, and everytime someone enters 'The Number' into the computer and presses the button, it gets activated, and starts transmitting. But what's it transmitting? Well, if I've got it correct... it's transmitting BELIEFS.'' In a nutshell: Sean thinks the Dharma Initiative is essentially reprogramming human beings with new values and beliefs for the purpose of building a new society. (You can read more of Sean's new theory at the aforementioned website.)
*
Like Sean, my mind changes about Lost every time I watch a new episode, or stumble upon some potentially revealing information. And when I do, man, can I froth at the mouth with Whoa! mania. When I was holed up in my office and manically constructing the Aaron Theory a few weeks ago, my wife and colleagues were convinced I had gone Unabomber on them. They were inches away from calling the boys in white with the butterfly nets. I remember the day I discovered the Wikipedia.org entry for Aaron Charles Donahue, and raved wildly about my (momentary) conviction that the crazy-spooky worldview mythology of this alleged ''remote viewer'' explained much of what was happening with the Dharma Initiative, the Others, Claire's abduction, and the Monster. (Curious: Donahue's personal website is registered to a small island off the coast of Australia. Hmmmm...)
I had another Whoa! moment a few weeks ago during a restless slumber while traveling to Chicago to visit the set of Prison Break. (See next week's EW for that report.) I had just finished reading three volumes of a truly cool, Must List-worthy comic book series called Planetary, which to this day I am convinced is one of the secret source texts of Lost. (More on this later.) This was shortly after the episode ''One of Them,'' in which Sawyer squished a frog to death. My sleepy brain was putting stuff together: a Planetary story about a psychotic suicide cult on a monstrous island; vague memories of reading something about how certain frogs secrete psychedelic enzymes or something; and the opium poppies in the Virgin Mary idols in the Hatch. The word psychotropics came to mind, as in, ''Heroin belongs to a family of drugs called psychotropics.'' Suddenly: Whoa! ''Psychotropics = Psycho Tropics = The island on Lost.'' I was so convinced I was onto something, I woke up the guy next to me on the plane and explained it to him. Before I knew it, an Air Marshal was summoned, a sedative was administered, and I woke up inside a holding cell inside O'Hare Airport. (Please don't tell my editors about this.)
*
Seriously, though: I do think my ''psychotropic'' epiphany sheds some revealing light on the mysteries of Lost, in that I believe Lost is sending secret messages to its audience — and perhaps misdirecting its audience — through sly allusions and a conspicuous choice of words. Recall the whole business with the Black Rock last year. For most of the first season, most of us naturally assumed the Black Rock was Rousseau's name for a foothill or butte or cliff or something — not the literal name of an ancient slave ship inexplicably beached in the middle of the jungle. (Burning question: Didn't Rousseau also say that the radio tower that was broadcasting the Numbers, and later her S.O.S. signal, was located near the Black Rock? Weird how the castaways have never tried to find it....)
But here's a more recent example: I'd love to hear from you H.P. Lovecraft experts out there about the possible overlap between the author and Lost. Of course, a mysterious land mass in the South Pacific, with a weird, mythic history and protected by a formless, monstrous guardian, evokes the writer's classic At the Mountains of Madness. And aesthetically, Lovecraft's pioneering blend of science fiction, horror, psychological suspense and invented mythology seems to have much in common with Lost's creative modus operandi; and considering the fixations with science (both mad and sound), metaphysics, mental illness, blurred lines between fact and fantasy, any Lostologist should consider picking through the author's (formbidably dense) oeuvre for clues.
But Lovecraft may have darker connections to the show. One of many myths about the author — vigorously disputed by his defenders — is that Lovecraft was an eccentric shut-in who lived under the thumb of his two aunts after the tragic deaths of his parents and a brief, failed marriage. In fact, in an issue of Planetary (which also features a character inspired after another Lost-linked author, Ambrose Bierce), Lovecraft is depicted as the original, prototypical basement geek, who dwells mostly within the cellar of his aunt's haunted house. (By the way: In the same story, Lovecraft manages to conjure a supernatural, snowflake-shaped quantum computer in his basement lair that allows him access to alternate realities. Think: the Hatch.)
According to Lovecraft biographer, scholar, and apologist S.T. Joshi, the author's father died in a mental hospital due to syphilis — a disease whose symptoms seem very similar to the symptoms that have been attributed to the phantom virus allegedly on the loose in Lost. Lovecraft was a troubled soul — his youth profoundly affected by intense emotional trauma — and also allegedly something of a bigot; his work is marked by some truly unenlightened language, and the man even named his cat after a certain unprintable racial slur.
Lovecraft's elaborate Cthulhu psuedo-mythology included a Cygnus creature, or ''swan,'' and after his death, he was buried at Swan Point Cemetary in Rhode Island. His gravestone is a granite marker that reads I AM PROVIDENCE, which spoke to the writer's intense identification with his hometown... although the declaration is also a line attributed to Satan in the book The Life of St. Anthony.
Finally, on a more benign note, one of the murkiest if more entertaining bits of Lovecraftian lore is the legend surrounding The Necronomicon, a sinister spell book referenced in several of his stories and allegedly chockablock with symbols and hieroglyphics. So many curious stories surround this thing that it reminds me of a comment one Lost producer made not long ago about Mr. Eko's walking stick. To paraphrase: ''This thing has its own backstory.'' Some say The Necronomicon is a real spell book that was used by Lovecraft for his fiction. Others say Lovecraft's fictional Necronomicon was turned into a real book by enthusiastic fans and Satanists. I dote on The Necronomicon because of the hieroglyphics business, but also to establish firmly in your mind its status as a real-life example of a blurred line between fact and fiction, which seems to be recurring theme in Lost. Bookmark that idea; we'll come back to it next week.
Now: apply Lovecraft to Lost's island, Monster, ''Black Rock'' (racist attitudes + granite gravestone = slave ship?), ''Station Three: The Swan'' (whose logo, as discussed last week, also resembles a devilish snake), the Disease, and the Hieroglyphics in the Hatch — are all these things allusions to Lovecraft? Is Lovecraft the Rosetta stone that can decode the language of Lost's mysteries?
Now I know what you're thinking. You think I'm nuts. Or, at best, you think I am mistaking interesting but utterly incidental or merely coincidental similarities for some grand creative conspiracy. And when it comes to this Lovecraft stuff, I'm willing to concede that you might be right. (But if it turns out that the Others are a Cult of Lovecraft who think the island is some Chthulu hellhole posssessed by the author's ghosts — you heard it here first!) At the same time: This is Lost, a show all about the coincidences that may be or may not be part of some grand and wicked design. Besides, there can be no argument that the show is chockablock with a large amount of meta-fictional wordplay, hidden cues, secret symbols, and explicit nods to external sources. Recently, the producers confirmed to EW that the ''Dharma'' in the Dharma Initiative is actually an acronym. (We'll explore what ''Dharma'' might mean next week.) Earlier this season, the producers loudly announced that a Lost-referenced book, The Third Policeman, is filled with clues. But perhaps the most provocative proof that Lost's subtext is rife with revealing bits and deliberate nods to real-life authors is Hurley's recent discovery of a manuscript amid the wreckage of Oceanic Flight 815 called Bad Twin, written by an author named Gary Troup — an anagram for ''Purgatory.'' Next week at EW.com, I'm going to tell you all about Bad Twin, which is going to be published in our real world in May, and how the book links to writers Paul Auster and Robert Heinlein, and how it all adds up to a brand new Doc Jensen theory I like to call the Ghost Writer Hypothesis. It's going to explain the coincidences, the flashbacks, the blurring of fantasy and reality, and how it all connects to Mr. Eko's current fixation with cutting down trees. If you want a hint, I'll give you one word: Grok. Look it up: Grok explains everything. But that's next week.
Shortly after Entertainment Weekly published Doc Jensen's super-string Aaron Theory of Lost, hundreds of you wrote me with your own theories and Whoa! stories, and beginning next week at EW.com, I'm going to share some of your scholarship and personal testimonies twice a week, in addition to giving you some new Lost gold nuggets (or fool's gold, depending on your POV) of my own.
To kick off the weekly dialogue, I'd like to turn you on to fellow Lostologist Sean Dunleavy. You can check out his intelligently reasoned mega-theory that Lost is an intricately and knowingly constructed allegory for the Patriot Act age in general and the war in Iraq specifically at his website. But several days after e-mailing me his politically charged manifesto, Sean sent me another e-mail, this one bursting with Whoa!-moment giddiness:
''I've just had a massive revelation re: the Flashbacks, the bizarre coincidences found in the Flashbacks, the Hatch, and the Numbers... The coincidences never occurred. The Flashbacks can't be trusted. Why not? Because inside the Hatch there's a great big transmitter, and everytime someone enters 'The Number' into the computer and presses the button, it gets activated, and starts transmitting. But what's it transmitting? Well, if I've got it correct... it's transmitting BELIEFS.'' In a nutshell: Sean thinks the Dharma Initiative is essentially reprogramming human beings with new values and beliefs for the purpose of building a new society. (You can read more of Sean's new theory at the aforementioned website.)
*
Like Sean, my mind changes about Lost every time I watch a new episode, or stumble upon some potentially revealing information. And when I do, man, can I froth at the mouth with Whoa! mania. When I was holed up in my office and manically constructing the Aaron Theory a few weeks ago, my wife and colleagues were convinced I had gone Unabomber on them. They were inches away from calling the boys in white with the butterfly nets. I remember the day I discovered the Wikipedia.org entry for Aaron Charles Donahue, and raved wildly about my (momentary) conviction that the crazy-spooky worldview mythology of this alleged ''remote viewer'' explained much of what was happening with the Dharma Initiative, the Others, Claire's abduction, and the Monster. (Curious: Donahue's personal website is registered to a small island off the coast of Australia. Hmmmm...)
I had another Whoa! moment a few weeks ago during a restless slumber while traveling to Chicago to visit the set of Prison Break. (See next week's EW for that report.) I had just finished reading three volumes of a truly cool, Must List-worthy comic book series called Planetary, which to this day I am convinced is one of the secret source texts of Lost. (More on this later.) This was shortly after the episode ''One of Them,'' in which Sawyer squished a frog to death. My sleepy brain was putting stuff together: a Planetary story about a psychotic suicide cult on a monstrous island; vague memories of reading something about how certain frogs secrete psychedelic enzymes or something; and the opium poppies in the Virgin Mary idols in the Hatch. The word psychotropics came to mind, as in, ''Heroin belongs to a family of drugs called psychotropics.'' Suddenly: Whoa! ''Psychotropics = Psycho Tropics = The island on Lost.'' I was so convinced I was onto something, I woke up the guy next to me on the plane and explained it to him. Before I knew it, an Air Marshal was summoned, a sedative was administered, and I woke up inside a holding cell inside O'Hare Airport. (Please don't tell my editors about this.)
*
Seriously, though: I do think my ''psychotropic'' epiphany sheds some revealing light on the mysteries of Lost, in that I believe Lost is sending secret messages to its audience — and perhaps misdirecting its audience — through sly allusions and a conspicuous choice of words. Recall the whole business with the Black Rock last year. For most of the first season, most of us naturally assumed the Black Rock was Rousseau's name for a foothill or butte or cliff or something — not the literal name of an ancient slave ship inexplicably beached in the middle of the jungle. (Burning question: Didn't Rousseau also say that the radio tower that was broadcasting the Numbers, and later her S.O.S. signal, was located near the Black Rock? Weird how the castaways have never tried to find it....)
But here's a more recent example: I'd love to hear from you H.P. Lovecraft experts out there about the possible overlap between the author and Lost. Of course, a mysterious land mass in the South Pacific, with a weird, mythic history and protected by a formless, monstrous guardian, evokes the writer's classic At the Mountains of Madness. And aesthetically, Lovecraft's pioneering blend of science fiction, horror, psychological suspense and invented mythology seems to have much in common with Lost's creative modus operandi; and considering the fixations with science (both mad and sound), metaphysics, mental illness, blurred lines between fact and fantasy, any Lostologist should consider picking through the author's (formbidably dense) oeuvre for clues.
But Lovecraft may have darker connections to the show. One of many myths about the author — vigorously disputed by his defenders — is that Lovecraft was an eccentric shut-in who lived under the thumb of his two aunts after the tragic deaths of his parents and a brief, failed marriage. In fact, in an issue of Planetary (which also features a character inspired after another Lost-linked author, Ambrose Bierce), Lovecraft is depicted as the original, prototypical basement geek, who dwells mostly within the cellar of his aunt's haunted house. (By the way: In the same story, Lovecraft manages to conjure a supernatural, snowflake-shaped quantum computer in his basement lair that allows him access to alternate realities. Think: the Hatch.)
According to Lovecraft biographer, scholar, and apologist S.T. Joshi, the author's father died in a mental hospital due to syphilis — a disease whose symptoms seem very similar to the symptoms that have been attributed to the phantom virus allegedly on the loose in Lost. Lovecraft was a troubled soul — his youth profoundly affected by intense emotional trauma — and also allegedly something of a bigot; his work is marked by some truly unenlightened language, and the man even named his cat after a certain unprintable racial slur.
Lovecraft's elaborate Cthulhu psuedo-mythology included a Cygnus creature, or ''swan,'' and after his death, he was buried at Swan Point Cemetary in Rhode Island. His gravestone is a granite marker that reads I AM PROVIDENCE, which spoke to the writer's intense identification with his hometown... although the declaration is also a line attributed to Satan in the book The Life of St. Anthony.
Finally, on a more benign note, one of the murkiest if more entertaining bits of Lovecraftian lore is the legend surrounding The Necronomicon, a sinister spell book referenced in several of his stories and allegedly chockablock with symbols and hieroglyphics. So many curious stories surround this thing that it reminds me of a comment one Lost producer made not long ago about Mr. Eko's walking stick. To paraphrase: ''This thing has its own backstory.'' Some say The Necronomicon is a real spell book that was used by Lovecraft for his fiction. Others say Lovecraft's fictional Necronomicon was turned into a real book by enthusiastic fans and Satanists. I dote on The Necronomicon because of the hieroglyphics business, but also to establish firmly in your mind its status as a real-life example of a blurred line between fact and fiction, which seems to be recurring theme in Lost. Bookmark that idea; we'll come back to it next week.
Now: apply Lovecraft to Lost's island, Monster, ''Black Rock'' (racist attitudes + granite gravestone = slave ship?), ''Station Three: The Swan'' (whose logo, as discussed last week, also resembles a devilish snake), the Disease, and the Hieroglyphics in the Hatch — are all these things allusions to Lovecraft? Is Lovecraft the Rosetta stone that can decode the language of Lost's mysteries?
Now I know what you're thinking. You think I'm nuts. Or, at best, you think I am mistaking interesting but utterly incidental or merely coincidental similarities for some grand creative conspiracy. And when it comes to this Lovecraft stuff, I'm willing to concede that you might be right. (But if it turns out that the Others are a Cult of Lovecraft who think the island is some Chthulu hellhole posssessed by the author's ghosts — you heard it here first!) At the same time: This is Lost, a show all about the coincidences that may be or may not be part of some grand and wicked design. Besides, there can be no argument that the show is chockablock with a large amount of meta-fictional wordplay, hidden cues, secret symbols, and explicit nods to external sources. Recently, the producers confirmed to EW that the ''Dharma'' in the Dharma Initiative is actually an acronym. (We'll explore what ''Dharma'' might mean next week.) Earlier this season, the producers loudly announced that a Lost-referenced book, The Third Policeman, is filled with clues. But perhaps the most provocative proof that Lost's subtext is rife with revealing bits and deliberate nods to real-life authors is Hurley's recent discovery of a manuscript amid the wreckage of Oceanic Flight 815 called Bad Twin, written by an author named Gary Troup — an anagram for ''Purgatory.'' Next week at EW.com, I'm going to tell you all about Bad Twin, which is going to be published in our real world in May, and how the book links to writers Paul Auster and Robert Heinlein, and how it all adds up to a brand new Doc Jensen theory I like to call the Ghost Writer Hypothesis. It's going to explain the coincidences, the flashbacks, the blurring of fantasy and reality, and how it all connects to Mr. Eko's current fixation with cutting down trees. If you want a hint, I'll give you one word: Grok. Look it up: Grok explains everything. But that's next week.
Wednesday, March 8
Gayest...Crustacean...Ever
Did everyone see the new species of Lobster that likes fur more than J. Lo? Andy Towle has one of the funnier posts I've seen, and it's about the new lobster. Check it out!
But we remain close friends...
That's what Uma said about her now exboyfriend. Just say you hate the bastard. Because I read too much Us Weekly and Star to know that's not true.
Madonna finally catches on to what everyone else is saying...
Even she doesn't want to see herself in movies anymore. According to the San Francisco Gate, she's no longer pursuing an acting career.
Crisp Lisp
Ted Casablanca is such a nut:
Toothy Tile, you're toast. You've been so damn taken with the breathless watching of whether or not you'd maybe, just maybe, decide to come outta the closet you thought you'd keep your fans (not to mention my readers) on the edge of their slippery seats forever. Think again.
'Cause, girlfriend, there's a new gay in town--meet Crisp Lisp. And he's way cooler. Actually new isn't quite the right word to describe C.L., but more on him in a sec.
Let's face it. T2 was going to be dethroned as King of the Closet one of these days. Everyone is bored, already. I mean, come out or stay in, it's your call. But the way Toothy prances about (lately), never really making any statements that give us something to chomp on, is just plain aggravating.
Yes, I am much more impressed by Crisp Lisp. On Oscar night, he attended one of the hottest-ticket bashes in this damn town. And he didn't go alone. He was with his date--a very nice, if shy, dude. The two made no secret that they were on a romantic outing. And by this fetching factoid, I don't mean to imply they were sucking face and groping each other. I mean, Tara Reid C.L. is not and never will be.
Rather, Crisp and his paramour just kinda chilled. Held hands. Whispered low. Gazed longingly into each other's bedroom eyes, blah-pre-poke-behavior-blah. Sure, everyone knew what was going on and that this is pretty much C.L.'s first foray into serious gay-relationship territory.
I wanna wish C.L. luck. And even though Crisp has a detractor, or three, in this town (who friggin' doesn't?), well, who can hold a grudge against new love?
Oh, and if you think you've seen C.-hon at a lot of high-profile parties lately, you're right. You totally have.
Bye, Joey
"Also last night, NBC’s returning 'Joey,' off the air since December, sunk to a series low in its new Tuesday timeslot, posting just a 1.4 rating among 18-49s and averaging 4.1 million total viewers, fifth in its timeslot on both counts."
Will we see Adrianna back on The Sopranos?
Will we see Adrianna back on The Sopranos?
A Conundrum
Bravo's Project Runway concludes tonight at 10pm. We'll find out whether Santino, Daniel or Chloe win the whole she-bang. Unfortunately, I haven't run across any spoiler info to share, so I guess that leaves us to wait and see what happens.
Also on at 10pm tonight is Black.White, on FX. The premise is worthwhile, so I hope it's more than just a heavily-edited reality show. I guess we'll find out. For now my hope is high that it will be all it's been promoted to be.
Both shows are worth watching, so I hope you have your Tivo (or VCR... gasp!) programmed accordingly.
And for those wondering..... Lost is a repeat tonight. No new eppy's until 3/22. Bummer. If it's any consolation, the Idol Boys will be croning tonight. Go Chris!
Also on at 10pm tonight is Black.White, on FX. The premise is worthwhile, so I hope it's more than just a heavily-edited reality show. I guess we'll find out. For now my hope is high that it will be all it's been promoted to be.
Both shows are worth watching, so I hope you have your Tivo (or VCR... gasp!) programmed accordingly.
And for those wondering..... Lost is a repeat tonight. No new eppy's until 3/22. Bummer. If it's any consolation, the Idol Boys will be croning tonight. Go Chris!
The Guardian
This show has a rockin' cast: Simon Baker, Jonny Lee Miller, Ray Liotta and Virginia Madsen. Set your TiVo's for next fall.
Nibbles O' Lost
Here's some stuff from Kristin, over at E!
What news do you have on Locke? You promised you would have something for us in this week's chat. Spill it!
Ay, chi chi! I nearly forgot! Thanks. I have it on good authority that "Locke will be returning to his roots..." Any guesses on what that means?
From ktgrace426: Locke has hair?
No.
From tbriscoe: Locke's a tree!
Um, no.
From aliasfan612: Locke is going back in the wheelchair?
No, but close. He's going to get one step closer. The word on the street is that (read only if you want to know!) Mr. Clean will be on crutches for the remainder of the season.
From valencia: What happens to Locke? An accident?
Let's just say the hatch strikes back.
From mycatz2: My cat asked me to pass along this question: "Is Sun really pregnant?"
Wow, who knew felines were so inquisitive! Tell your kitty I'm pretty sure she is. And somewhere "He" is smiling.
What news do you have on Locke? You promised you would have something for us in this week's chat. Spill it!
Ay, chi chi! I nearly forgot! Thanks. I have it on good authority that "Locke will be returning to his roots..." Any guesses on what that means?
From ktgrace426: Locke has hair?
No.
From tbriscoe: Locke's a tree!
Um, no.
From aliasfan612: Locke is going back in the wheelchair?
No, but close. He's going to get one step closer. The word on the street is that (read only if you want to know!) Mr. Clean will be on crutches for the remainder of the season.
From valencia: What happens to Locke? An accident?
Let's just say the hatch strikes back.
From mycatz2: My cat asked me to pass along this question: "Is Sun really pregnant?"
Wow, who knew felines were so inquisitive! Tell your kitty I'm pretty sure she is. And somewhere "He" is smiling.
Tuesday, March 7
Barry Bonds Is A Phony (surprise... surprise)
How weird I would post two things about this guy.... and I'll probably never post anything in regards to him again.
Breaking News(at least according to CNN)
Breaking News(at least according to CNN)
The Matrix 3
I mean, X-Men 3. The trailer is out, and I'm sad to report that I think it looks like shit.
Spielberg
Even though he has Lincoln and Indy IV slated for production, word is he'll take a year off. I don't think we'll ever see Indy IV. Harrison Ford is, what, 80?
Prison Break Marathon
FX. Sunday, March 19th. Noon to 7pm. It will catch you up before the show returns to Fox on Monday, March 20th.
Big Love
It starts Sunday after The Sopranos. It's HBO, so I'll be checking it out. But I've heard mixed things about it.
A murder, a suicide and a heart attack...
The final three minutes of The Sopranos on Sunday. At least that's the rumor...
TiVo Mobile
If you’re one of those people who always forgets to program their TiVo before heading out, you’re in luck. The company is expected to announce today that it has reached an agreement with Verizon Wireless to expand TiVo’s digital video recording capabilities to cell phones. Through the new service, called TiVo Mobile, users can program TV recordings straight from cell phones for the first time. TiVo Mobile is specifically designed to work on cell phones, making the on-the-go scheduling process easier and faster. This is the latest feature introduced by the California-based company in its efforts to set itself apart from the growing number of rival DVR offerings from cable and satellite TV operators. Terms of the deal have not yet been disclosed. Starting in the early summer, Verizon subscribers will be able to access TiVo Mobile through the "Get It Now" service menu. Verizon's pricing for the service will be announced then.
This Is Certainly Interesting
American Idol 5 frontrunner Chris Daughtry impressed the judges and the public with his rendition of “Hemorrhage” by Fuel last week. And he also impressed Fuel, so much so that they’ve reportedly offered him a job as their lead singer.
Jeff Abercrombie, the group’s bass player, told Extra that Chris did “a great job. This guy delivered. And he delivered like he’d written the song himself.” The band’s lead singer, Brett Scallions, left the group early in February. And following Chris’ performance, Randy Jackson told Access Hollywood that “Chris just got offered to be in the band Fuel, the lead singer is gone so they are trying to get it together.”
But it may not be a sure thing. The group is having a contest to replace their lead singer. Their web site’s announcement for this search mention’s Chris’ performance, but also asks others to send in performances for consideration. Of course, Chris is currently handcuffed to Idol by its contract, so by the time he can sing for Fuel, its original members will be long gone.
Jeff Abercrombie, the group’s bass player, told Extra that Chris did “a great job. This guy delivered. And he delivered like he’d written the song himself.” The band’s lead singer, Brett Scallions, left the group early in February. And following Chris’ performance, Randy Jackson told Access Hollywood that “Chris just got offered to be in the band Fuel, the lead singer is gone so they are trying to get it together.”
But it may not be a sure thing. The group is having a contest to replace their lead singer. Their web site’s announcement for this search mention’s Chris’ performance, but also asks others to send in performances for consideration. Of course, Chris is currently handcuffed to Idol by its contract, so by the time he can sing for Fuel, its original members will be long gone.
And In Other, Non-Related Baseball News....
Now here's a show you'll definitely want to bypass. I'm only posting it here because I hope it will serve as a warning to AVOID giving this man any attention whatsoever. He's a total disgrace to baseball.
From RealityBlurred:
ESPN2 will air a series that focuses on Barry Bonds’ “pursuit of Hank Aaron’s career home run record,” according to the AP. The show will also be “a weekly behind-the-scenes look at Bonds and the San Francisco Giants.” It will be the next season of ESPN’s series The Season.
Besides “two to three cameras filming Bonds most of the season,” Bonds on Bonds “will also include archival footage and game highlights.” But the team’s manager, Felipe Alou, said “I don’t believe it will affect this veteran team. The main guy is Barry and if he does his thing with the bat and is not affected by it, I don’t think we’ll be.” The show debuts April 4 on ESPN2.
From RealityBlurred:
ESPN2 will air a series that focuses on Barry Bonds’ “pursuit of Hank Aaron’s career home run record,” according to the AP. The show will also be “a weekly behind-the-scenes look at Bonds and the San Francisco Giants.” It will be the next season of ESPN’s series The Season.
Besides “two to three cameras filming Bonds most of the season,” Bonds on Bonds “will also include archival footage and game highlights.” But the team’s manager, Felipe Alou, said “I don’t believe it will affect this veteran team. The main guy is Barry and if he does his thing with the bat and is not affected by it, I don’t think we’ll be.” The show debuts April 4 on ESPN2.
Sad News
Baseball Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett, who helped lead the Minnesota Twins to World Series titles in 1987 and 1991, died Monday after suffering a stroke over the weekend, the team announced. He was 45.
--I remember watching Kirby 'back in the day' and always admired his loyalty to the Twins. He will be missed.
Dana Reeve, who fought for better treatments and possible cures for paralysis through the Christopher Reeve Foundation, named for her late actor-husband, has died, the foundation said. She was 44. Reeve died late Monday of lung cancer, said Kathy Lewis, President and CEO of the foundation.
--I remember watching Kirby 'back in the day' and always admired his loyalty to the Twins. He will be missed.
Dana Reeve, who fought for better treatments and possible cures for paralysis through the Christopher Reeve Foundation, named for her late actor-husband, has died, the foundation said. She was 44. Reeve died late Monday of lung cancer, said Kathy Lewis, President and CEO of the foundation.
Monday, March 6
SNL
Not the best episode. (Don't you hate it when Tina and Amy bring guests on the Weekend Update? The guests are never funny.)
However, Natalie Portman was a riot in the digital short. She was a gangsta rapper, and it was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.
(I also liked her "Stop Wars" t-shirt.)
However, Natalie Portman was a riot in the digital short. She was a gangsta rapper, and it was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.
(I also liked her "Stop Wars" t-shirt.)
New Rule
They must stop arresting Cindy Sheehan. That poor woman was arrested AGAIN this past weekend for protesting in peace.
Thank you, George Bush, for turning the U.S. into Iran. This is, actually, not in jest. I bet the U.S. today is more like Iran than it is like the U.S. five years ago.
Thank you, George Bush, for turning the U.S. into Iran. This is, actually, not in jest. I bet the U.S. today is more like Iran than it is like the U.S. five years ago.
Independent Spirit Awards
They happened on Saturday at the beach in Santa Monica. Sarah Silverman hosted and was the funniest host of an awards show EVER. Here are the winners:
Best Feature: "Brokeback Mountain"Producers: Diana Ossana and James Schamus
Best Director: Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain"
Best Screenplay: Dan Futterman, "Capote"
Best First Feature: "Crash"Director: Paul HaggisProducers: Cathy Schulman, Don Cheadle, Bob Yari, Mark R. Harris, Bobby Moresco, Paul Haggis
Best First Screenplay: Duncan Tucker, "Transamerica"
John Cassavetes Award: "Conventioneers"(For the Best Feature made for under $500,000)
Director: Mora StephensWriters: Mora Stephens and Joel ViertelProducer: Joel Viertel
Best Supporting Female: Amy Adams, "Junebug"
Best Supporting Male: Matt Dillon, "Crash"
Best Female Lead: Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"
Best Male Lead: Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"
Best Cinematography: Robert Elswit, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Best Foreign Film: "Paradise Now"Director: Hany Abu-Assad
Best Documentary: "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room"Director: Alex Gibney
AMC/American Express Producers Award: Caroline Baron, "Capote", "Monsoon Wedding"($25,000 unrestricted grant -- honors producers who, despite highly limited resources, demonstrate the creativity, tenacity, and vision required to produce quality independent films.)
IFC/Acura Someone To Watch Award: Ian Gamazon and Neill Dela Llana, "Cavite" ($25,000 unrestricted -- honors a director of singular vision who has not yet received appropriate recognition.)
Truer Than Fiction Award: Ian Olds and Garrett Scott, "Occupation: Dreamland"($25,000 unrestricted -- presented to an emerging director of non-fiction features.)
Best Feature: "Brokeback Mountain"Producers: Diana Ossana and James Schamus
Best Director: Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain"
Best Screenplay: Dan Futterman, "Capote"
Best First Feature: "Crash"Director: Paul HaggisProducers: Cathy Schulman, Don Cheadle, Bob Yari, Mark R. Harris, Bobby Moresco, Paul Haggis
Best First Screenplay: Duncan Tucker, "Transamerica"
John Cassavetes Award: "Conventioneers"(For the Best Feature made for under $500,000)
Director: Mora StephensWriters: Mora Stephens and Joel ViertelProducer: Joel Viertel
Best Supporting Female: Amy Adams, "Junebug"
Best Supporting Male: Matt Dillon, "Crash"
Best Female Lead: Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"
Best Male Lead: Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"
Best Cinematography: Robert Elswit, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Best Foreign Film: "Paradise Now"Director: Hany Abu-Assad
Best Documentary: "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room"Director: Alex Gibney
AMC/American Express Producers Award: Caroline Baron, "Capote", "Monsoon Wedding"($25,000 unrestricted grant -- honors producers who, despite highly limited resources, demonstrate the creativity, tenacity, and vision required to produce quality independent films.)
IFC/Acura Someone To Watch Award: Ian Gamazon and Neill Dela Llana, "Cavite" ($25,000 unrestricted -- honors a director of singular vision who has not yet received appropriate recognition.)
Truer Than Fiction Award: Ian Olds and Garrett Scott, "Occupation: Dreamland"($25,000 unrestricted -- presented to an emerging director of non-fiction features.)
Oscars
They blew it. I just don't think Crash is a great movie. Yeah, it was good. But come on! Watching this movie was like being thrown in a room with a white guy, a black guy, a Latino, a Middle Eastern man and a fucking racist cop and each one of them gets the weapon of their choice and they yell about how racist the others are at the top of their lungs and it's amplified to concert level decibals and it goes on and on until your ears start to bleed. I'm not even kidding, I just thought it was SO obvious.
They had the opportunity to award a film that was truly groundbreaking (Brokeback Mountain) and subtle and true art. Or they could've awarded Munich, which will be revered as a classic in ten or fifteen years, or they could've given it to Capote or Good Night & Good Luck (which I haven't seen yet... still).
They just blew it. Dumb Oscar voters.
The awards show itself was actually entertaining and under 9 hours long. Jon Stewart wasn't "hilarious," but he was very sharp. His best joke involved Cheney shooting Bjork. Some other thoughts:
-What the fuck was Charlize wearing? Was whoever sat behind her pissed that their view was seriously obstructed?
-Nicole Kidman should just paint herself white and call it a day.
-Why is Ryan Secrest everywhere?
-Dolly Parton was robbed. Rachel McAdams will totally play Dolly in the biopic.
-Jennifer Garner is so damn cute. She pulled off an embarassing trip-up with grace and humor.
-Meryl Streep and Lili Tomlin were silly and fabulous introducing a very deserving Robert Altman.
-George Clooney had a fantastic acceptance speech. This man is smart.
That's all until 2007.
They had the opportunity to award a film that was truly groundbreaking (Brokeback Mountain) and subtle and true art. Or they could've awarded Munich, which will be revered as a classic in ten or fifteen years, or they could've given it to Capote or Good Night & Good Luck (which I haven't seen yet... still).
They just blew it. Dumb Oscar voters.
The awards show itself was actually entertaining and under 9 hours long. Jon Stewart wasn't "hilarious," but he was very sharp. His best joke involved Cheney shooting Bjork. Some other thoughts:
-What the fuck was Charlize wearing? Was whoever sat behind her pissed that their view was seriously obstructed?
-Nicole Kidman should just paint herself white and call it a day.
-Why is Ryan Secrest everywhere?
-Dolly Parton was robbed. Rachel McAdams will totally play Dolly in the biopic.
-Jennifer Garner is so damn cute. She pulled off an embarassing trip-up with grace and humor.
-Meryl Streep and Lili Tomlin were silly and fabulous introducing a very deserving Robert Altman.
-George Clooney had a fantastic acceptance speech. This man is smart.
That's all until 2007.
Friday, March 3
Big News
I quit my job today. After five years working on Honda's advertising, I'm going to work at a different company on the PlayStation account.
It's scary quitting a job for the first time. I thought for sure everyone was going to be pissed, but everyone was so supportive. I'm lucky to have worked at my company for so long. But I'm looking forwarding to learning a ton more at another place.
It's scary quitting a job for the first time. I thought for sure everyone was going to be pissed, but everyone was so supportive. I'm lucky to have worked at my company for so long. But I'm looking forwarding to learning a ton more at another place.
Spring Reality Lineup
As usual, any of this could change. If I hear of any updates, I'll post 'em.
College Hill 3 [BET, March 2, Thursdays at 9]
Pros vs. Joes [Spike TV, March 6, Mondays at 10]
America’s Next Top Model 6 [UPN, March 8, Wednesdays at 8]
Pros vs. Joes [FX, March 8, Wednesdays at 10]
Top Chef [Bravo, March 8 at 11, Wednesdays at 10]
Cheerleader Nation [Lifetime, March 12, Sundays at 10]
Face the Family [Lifetime, March 12, Sundays at 11]
Nashville Star 4 [USA Network, March 14, Tuesdays at 10]
The Surreal Life 6 [VH1, March 19, Sundays at 10]
The Real Housewives of Orange County [Bravo, March 21, Tuesdays at 10]
Texas Ranch House [PBS, May 1 to 4, 8 to 10 p.m.]
The Contender 2 [ESPN, June]
College Hill 3 [BET, March 2, Thursdays at 9]
Pros vs. Joes [Spike TV, March 6, Mondays at 10]
America’s Next Top Model 6 [UPN, March 8, Wednesdays at 8]
Pros vs. Joes [FX, March 8, Wednesdays at 10]
Top Chef [Bravo, March 8 at 11, Wednesdays at 10]
Cheerleader Nation [Lifetime, March 12, Sundays at 10]
Face the Family [Lifetime, March 12, Sundays at 11]
Nashville Star 4 [USA Network, March 14, Tuesdays at 10]
The Surreal Life 6 [VH1, March 19, Sundays at 10]
The Real Housewives of Orange County [Bravo, March 21, Tuesdays at 10]
Texas Ranch House [PBS, May 1 to 4, 8 to 10 p.m.]
The Contender 2 [ESPN, June]
LOST Theory Follow-Up
For those who read the previous posting I made about the Lost theory proposed by Jeff Jensen of EW, here's a LINK to his follow-up. It's a bunch of reader questions that he answers.
I'll continue to post his articles here as they are published.
I'll continue to post his articles here as they are published.
Bootin' Off The Idols
Recap courtesy of EW:
Congratulations, America: You did the right thing this week, eliminating the four least-talented contestants remaining in season 5 of American Idol. Thanks to your votes (or lack thereof), we can all look forward to a rousing semifinal finale next week unmarred by the lackluster vocal stylings of David Radford, Jose ''Sway'' Penala, Heather Cox, and Brenna Gethers.
Not surprisingly, scads of tastemaking EW.com readers on our message boards pegged the foul foursome as the most likely candidates for elimination. Reader LKD pretty much summed up the problem for the two women who received the lowest number of viewer votes: ''Brenna, completely lost in her own ego, broke her promise to 'bring da claws out' this week. Her butchering of the Idol overplayed 'Last Dance' will certainly send her home Thursday night. And, unlike Carrie Underwood, Heather doesn't have the vocal chops or individual style to make up for her wooden stage presence.'' I couldn't have said it better myself, and as a matter of fact, I won't even try.
As for the men, after listening to the abysmal David destroy ''The Way You Look Tonight'' on Wednesday, reader Katnip wrote, ''I wish you could vote someone off 'Idol.' '' Sway, meanwhile, pleased a handful of EW.com supporters but mostly received a tall glass of Haterade on our message boards.
Despite the predictable nature of the voting tallies, tonight's results show nonetheless contained its share of eyebrow-raising moments. For starters, judge Paula Abdul — who has been uncharacteristically lucid most of this season — started blurting giggly non sequiturs every time host Ryan Seacrest asked her a question. I'm not sure what's got her feeling so, um, happy, but maybe it's time she shared with the class. (----yeah... what the hell was wrong with Paula?)
The episode had some contestant-driven oddness, too: Taylor Hicks trying to rub Chris Daughtry's sexy-smooth pate when the latter singer escaped elimination; young Lisa Tucker, looking like she was struggling to conjure up some tears every time Ryan gave a wannabe the ax; Ayla Brown clapping her hands like she had an inner metronome during Sway's ''Overjoyed''; and Paris Bennett offering an extended (and quite possibly unwelcome) hug to Sway in the minutes following his dismissal. Way to get some additional airtime, kiddo!
Still, lest I get accused of dishing it out but not being able to take it, I've got to call attention to a carefully considered reprimand I received from reader Auntie Em: ''Why refer to Mandisa as a 'plus-sized' beauty? I do not recall anyone referring to the other ladies as 'skinny beauties' or 'looks-like-a-popsicle-stick-with-legs beauty' or even 'average-sized beauty.' Hmmm. Just something to think about.'' Duly noted, Auntie Em. Good thing I'll have a chance to redeem myself when the gizzorgeous diva takes to the stage next week.
What did you think of tonight's dismissals? Would you agree with me that Kinnik, Will, and Bucky should consider themselves lucky to still be in the competition? And do you think any of the early front-runners might be at risk of an upset elimination next week when the final 12 are announced?
Congratulations, America: You did the right thing this week, eliminating the four least-talented contestants remaining in season 5 of American Idol. Thanks to your votes (or lack thereof), we can all look forward to a rousing semifinal finale next week unmarred by the lackluster vocal stylings of David Radford, Jose ''Sway'' Penala, Heather Cox, and Brenna Gethers.
Not surprisingly, scads of tastemaking EW.com readers on our message boards pegged the foul foursome as the most likely candidates for elimination. Reader LKD pretty much summed up the problem for the two women who received the lowest number of viewer votes: ''Brenna, completely lost in her own ego, broke her promise to 'bring da claws out' this week. Her butchering of the Idol overplayed 'Last Dance' will certainly send her home Thursday night. And, unlike Carrie Underwood, Heather doesn't have the vocal chops or individual style to make up for her wooden stage presence.'' I couldn't have said it better myself, and as a matter of fact, I won't even try.
As for the men, after listening to the abysmal David destroy ''The Way You Look Tonight'' on Wednesday, reader Katnip wrote, ''I wish you could vote someone off 'Idol.' '' Sway, meanwhile, pleased a handful of EW.com supporters but mostly received a tall glass of Haterade on our message boards.
Despite the predictable nature of the voting tallies, tonight's results show nonetheless contained its share of eyebrow-raising moments. For starters, judge Paula Abdul — who has been uncharacteristically lucid most of this season — started blurting giggly non sequiturs every time host Ryan Seacrest asked her a question. I'm not sure what's got her feeling so, um, happy, but maybe it's time she shared with the class. (----yeah... what the hell was wrong with Paula?)
The episode had some contestant-driven oddness, too: Taylor Hicks trying to rub Chris Daughtry's sexy-smooth pate when the latter singer escaped elimination; young Lisa Tucker, looking like she was struggling to conjure up some tears every time Ryan gave a wannabe the ax; Ayla Brown clapping her hands like she had an inner metronome during Sway's ''Overjoyed''; and Paris Bennett offering an extended (and quite possibly unwelcome) hug to Sway in the minutes following his dismissal. Way to get some additional airtime, kiddo!
Still, lest I get accused of dishing it out but not being able to take it, I've got to call attention to a carefully considered reprimand I received from reader Auntie Em: ''Why refer to Mandisa as a 'plus-sized' beauty? I do not recall anyone referring to the other ladies as 'skinny beauties' or 'looks-like-a-popsicle-stick-with-legs beauty' or even 'average-sized beauty.' Hmmm. Just something to think about.'' Duly noted, Auntie Em. Good thing I'll have a chance to redeem myself when the gizzorgeous diva takes to the stage next week.
What did you think of tonight's dismissals? Would you agree with me that Kinnik, Will, and Bucky should consider themselves lucky to still be in the competition? And do you think any of the early front-runners might be at risk of an upset elimination next week when the final 12 are announced?
Survive This
Recap courtesy of EW: (cuz I'm not awake enough to be witty and creative right now)
Hey, everyone. I'm writing this up last minute because Dalton Ross' VCR crapped out on him. (It probably ate too many half-cooked beans on an empty stomach.) I swear on Shane's kid that I'll try to do a good job. And that kind of promise always works out. Except, of course, when you're Bob Dawg. More on that later.
Since I'm so skilled at this — or, as Courtney said regarding the bottle of wine that Bob and Bruce pilfered, ''super special'' — I managed to record every last second of the poop patrol that ensued back at the La Mina camp after a reward challenge in which they chose to take home a bag of beans instead of rice. (In their malnourished haze, they must have forgotten that the more you eat, the more you toot — and that there are cameras everywhere.)
Speaking of which, that reward challenge was really funny. It seemed as if the entire scenario were really just a ploy to remind the castaways of how hungry they were. Here, take this rice. Just take it and run! And this huge sack of beans. And no, really, grab that fish. Go ahead, it's yours. Throw it! I almost expected Jeff to shout out, ''See, guys? It's easy to catch fish in Panama!'' They just have to be already dead and chilling out in a rowboat ten feet from shore. No biggie.
Even after hacking at those fish like a veteran Iron Chef, Bob Dawg got voted out by the rest of Casaya, a.k.a. the biggest bunch of nut jobs that ever existed. Earlier, Bruce built a ''Zen rock garden'' for no apparent reason. Aras suddenly went Dr. Phil on Bruce for making said garden instead of helping out with the chores. Courtney, who I would call Mother Earth if she weren't so generally off-putting, decided to do (gasp!) yoga at (gasp!) the Zen rock garden. I'm no fan of yoga or Courtney, but seriously, what did Bruce expect? He called it a ''Zen rock garden.'' Courtney's grease-magnet dreadlocks probably perked up at that phrase and yanked her carcass headfirst to the garden, powered by some sort of spiritual/magnetic/fire-dancing mojo. And I won't even get started on the complex nightmare that is Shane, or the son he thinks matters to anyone but him.
Danielle and Cirie had the right idea when they called Courtney over to rally against the guys and ''turn the game around.'' I was all for this, despite the involvement of Courtney. But I cannot comprehend why the girls would confide in Shane about their big plans. They should have voted him out — why not ask Bruce or Bobby to help them? The two oenophiles were already in the doghouse (and outhouse) together.
Instead, Bobby went down with a bang similar to the sound his giant chopper kept making against those fish. (That was awesome!) Danielle pulled a surprisingly sage move at tribal council by suggesting that, as an elder, Bruce deserved at least minimal respect. Cirie's doing pretty well with her act-like-you're-not-there strategy, and as long as Aras spends some quality time in the Zen rock garden (QT in the ZRG), he should be fine. I'm almost afraid for this tribe, but I'm still dying to watch the season unfold. With another relatively sane and calm tribemate out of the way, Casaya should continue on in its quest to go collectively bonkers.
What do you think? Was voting Bobby out more strategic than meets the eye? Was Courtney even entitled to super-special wine after sitting out during the challenge? Are you getting sick of seeing skulls this season? And was Terry's beanless exile a blessing in disguise?
Hey, everyone. I'm writing this up last minute because Dalton Ross' VCR crapped out on him. (It probably ate too many half-cooked beans on an empty stomach.) I swear on Shane's kid that I'll try to do a good job. And that kind of promise always works out. Except, of course, when you're Bob Dawg. More on that later.
Since I'm so skilled at this — or, as Courtney said regarding the bottle of wine that Bob and Bruce pilfered, ''super special'' — I managed to record every last second of the poop patrol that ensued back at the La Mina camp after a reward challenge in which they chose to take home a bag of beans instead of rice. (In their malnourished haze, they must have forgotten that the more you eat, the more you toot — and that there are cameras everywhere.)
Speaking of which, that reward challenge was really funny. It seemed as if the entire scenario were really just a ploy to remind the castaways of how hungry they were. Here, take this rice. Just take it and run! And this huge sack of beans. And no, really, grab that fish. Go ahead, it's yours. Throw it! I almost expected Jeff to shout out, ''See, guys? It's easy to catch fish in Panama!'' They just have to be already dead and chilling out in a rowboat ten feet from shore. No biggie.
Even after hacking at those fish like a veteran Iron Chef, Bob Dawg got voted out by the rest of Casaya, a.k.a. the biggest bunch of nut jobs that ever existed. Earlier, Bruce built a ''Zen rock garden'' for no apparent reason. Aras suddenly went Dr. Phil on Bruce for making said garden instead of helping out with the chores. Courtney, who I would call Mother Earth if she weren't so generally off-putting, decided to do (gasp!) yoga at (gasp!) the Zen rock garden. I'm no fan of yoga or Courtney, but seriously, what did Bruce expect? He called it a ''Zen rock garden.'' Courtney's grease-magnet dreadlocks probably perked up at that phrase and yanked her carcass headfirst to the garden, powered by some sort of spiritual/magnetic/fire-dancing mojo. And I won't even get started on the complex nightmare that is Shane, or the son he thinks matters to anyone but him.
Danielle and Cirie had the right idea when they called Courtney over to rally against the guys and ''turn the game around.'' I was all for this, despite the involvement of Courtney. But I cannot comprehend why the girls would confide in Shane about their big plans. They should have voted him out — why not ask Bruce or Bobby to help them? The two oenophiles were already in the doghouse (and outhouse) together.
Instead, Bobby went down with a bang similar to the sound his giant chopper kept making against those fish. (That was awesome!) Danielle pulled a surprisingly sage move at tribal council by suggesting that, as an elder, Bruce deserved at least minimal respect. Cirie's doing pretty well with her act-like-you're-not-there strategy, and as long as Aras spends some quality time in the Zen rock garden (QT in the ZRG), he should be fine. I'm almost afraid for this tribe, but I'm still dying to watch the season unfold. With another relatively sane and calm tribemate out of the way, Casaya should continue on in its quest to go collectively bonkers.
What do you think? Was voting Bobby out more strategic than meets the eye? Was Courtney even entitled to super-special wine after sitting out during the challenge? Are you getting sick of seeing skulls this season? And was Terry's beanless exile a blessing in disguise?
Thursday, March 2
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Chris Walker, who apparently plays football for Texas A&M, made a video of him shirtless, lip-synching to Total Eclipse of the Heart. What a talent.
Lost
Holy crap, they gave us a lot of information last night. What a fantastic episode. The last three have been SO good. I hope they keep up the quality streak.
Idol Boy Recap
Courtesy of TWOP:
The unofficial theme on Wednesday is "everybody looks great," because seriously. Everybody. The "song choice" bugaboo from Tuesday is still in effect, though at the very least these are mostly songs I've heard before. Taylor is his usual subtle, reserved self, and sings that song from the Levi's commercial. His voice no longer matters, but his grab bag of spasmodic tics and rat-tat-tat WOO-ing at the judges are all clearly part of what makes him such a breath of fresh air in this competition. Elliott switches things up by singing some Stevie Wonder (though, to be fair, "Moody's Mood for Love" has apparently also been sung by humanity itself, so we'll scale that shit off), and I'm finally getting the voice, even if he's still pretty boring. All those waiting for Ace to start growing a personality, here's what he's come up with so far: he wears beanies. Perfect, no? It's the Nermal of hats. He sings that "If You're Not the One" song that I liked that one day two years ago, and he's significantly not as good as last week. Like that even matters, but regardless. Gedeon busts out some Sam Cooke, and pretty much lets the song do the heavy lifting for him. He's really good, but he also picked the right damn week to choose a song everybody loves.
Kevin is put up to even more "sing for Mommy and Daddy's friends" bullshit in his pre-song, and as if that's not painful enough, his song is "Heard It Through the Grapevine." That sound you hear is all of America shedding a tear for how screwed this kid is. And then he gets totally sandbagged by Seacrest with a Chicken Little sight gag. Poor kid. Is Sway even still on this show? Huh. I owe Jacob a Coke. He sings "Overjoyed" by that criminally underutilized AI talent Stevie Wonder, and the judges basically tell him he's in some deep shit. Will opts for "Lady" by Kenny Rogers. And I laugh and laugh. He's remarkably very good for singing such a ridonkulous song, and he's got his shit together way more than the rest of his teen brethren, that's for damn sure. The judges are kind of harsh, but that ceases to matter when Ryan begins to undress him and Simon has to remind everyone who is how old around these parts.
Bucky, much like Kellie, is baffled by the culinary wonders of California. What are you putting on his chicken, restaurateurs of the American west? He sings Garth Brooks's classic ode to wife-beating "The Thunder Rolls," and he looks about 100% more presentable than he ever has before. Randy actually says "dirty," though to be fair the word "south" immediately follows it. David Radford tells the most wondrously "who cares?" story of the night, about a belt and a cell phone charger, but he's super-sincere about it, and if he'd just agree to never, ever sing again, I would like him quite a bit. Oh, but then it's Stealing Sinatra time, and "The Way You Look Tonight," and I want to kill him again. Stop making those sounds with your voice! Right now! Finally, Chris is looking a bit too Bruce Willis for comfort, but he's singing Fuel's "Hemorrhage," which means he's got me, completely. Better yet, he's awesome and the judges give him top honors for the night. I start dreaming of a Mandisa-Chris final that can never be.
Tomorrow: Heather Cox and three others will be sent home, and Jacob will have all the juicy details.
The unofficial theme on Wednesday is "everybody looks great," because seriously. Everybody. The "song choice" bugaboo from Tuesday is still in effect, though at the very least these are mostly songs I've heard before. Taylor is his usual subtle, reserved self, and sings that song from the Levi's commercial. His voice no longer matters, but his grab bag of spasmodic tics and rat-tat-tat WOO-ing at the judges are all clearly part of what makes him such a breath of fresh air in this competition. Elliott switches things up by singing some Stevie Wonder (though, to be fair, "Moody's Mood for Love" has apparently also been sung by humanity itself, so we'll scale that shit off), and I'm finally getting the voice, even if he's still pretty boring. All those waiting for Ace to start growing a personality, here's what he's come up with so far: he wears beanies. Perfect, no? It's the Nermal of hats. He sings that "If You're Not the One" song that I liked that one day two years ago, and he's significantly not as good as last week. Like that even matters, but regardless. Gedeon busts out some Sam Cooke, and pretty much lets the song do the heavy lifting for him. He's really good, but he also picked the right damn week to choose a song everybody loves.
Kevin is put up to even more "sing for Mommy and Daddy's friends" bullshit in his pre-song, and as if that's not painful enough, his song is "Heard It Through the Grapevine." That sound you hear is all of America shedding a tear for how screwed this kid is. And then he gets totally sandbagged by Seacrest with a Chicken Little sight gag. Poor kid. Is Sway even still on this show? Huh. I owe Jacob a Coke. He sings "Overjoyed" by that criminally underutilized AI talent Stevie Wonder, and the judges basically tell him he's in some deep shit. Will opts for "Lady" by Kenny Rogers. And I laugh and laugh. He's remarkably very good for singing such a ridonkulous song, and he's got his shit together way more than the rest of his teen brethren, that's for damn sure. The judges are kind of harsh, but that ceases to matter when Ryan begins to undress him and Simon has to remind everyone who is how old around these parts.
Bucky, much like Kellie, is baffled by the culinary wonders of California. What are you putting on his chicken, restaurateurs of the American west? He sings Garth Brooks's classic ode to wife-beating "The Thunder Rolls," and he looks about 100% more presentable than he ever has before. Randy actually says "dirty," though to be fair the word "south" immediately follows it. David Radford tells the most wondrously "who cares?" story of the night, about a belt and a cell phone charger, but he's super-sincere about it, and if he'd just agree to never, ever sing again, I would like him quite a bit. Oh, but then it's Stealing Sinatra time, and "The Way You Look Tonight," and I want to kill him again. Stop making those sounds with your voice! Right now! Finally, Chris is looking a bit too Bruce Willis for comfort, but he's singing Fuel's "Hemorrhage," which means he's got me, completely. Better yet, he's awesome and the judges give him top honors for the night. I start dreaming of a Mandisa-Chris final that can never be.
Tomorrow: Heather Cox and three others will be sent home, and Jacob will have all the juicy details.
LOST Recap
Courtesy of EW:
Let me begin by saying it's especially nice to write this column on nights when there's so very, very much to write about: the long-awaited story of what happened to Claire during her two-week abduction, a significant advancement of the Dharma mythology (including the discovery of a brand new hatch, the Caduceus), an illuminating look at Rousseau, and a heart-to-heart with Mister Eko. Not to mention some of the best dialogue in a while. For example, when Locke allowed Eko to question their captive, suspected Other Henry Gale:
Locke: Don't tell him what the alarm is for.
Eko: What is the alarm for?
This is inarguably the best-written episode in some time: excellent use of the plot groundwork laid last season (Claire's disappearance, Rousseau's involvement, the mystery illness, and Desmond's lotto-numbered injects), as well as excellent teases for future developments. So let's begin, to the tune of the Perry Como classic, ''Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket....''
My friend Liz called to remind me that this little ditty — the one played by the airplane mobile over Future Aaron's crib — was, in fact, the same song Claire, in last year's flashback, hoped that her child's adoptive parents would know. So how'd the Others know it, when they were preparing a nursery for the baby they planned to harvest from Claire? Well, there's the psychic explanation — increasingly popular round these parts, especially with my colleague, the esteemed theorist Jeff Jensen.
The other explanation, of course, is that Claire's creepy Australian psychic (the one whose advice she sought on her unexpected pregnancy) was nothing of the sort — just a Dharma Other in civvies, sending his cohorts on the island fresh meat. He could've given them the full dossier on Claire. Of course, he's also the one who told Claire she must, must, must raise the baby herself — otherwise it'd turn out all (shudder) wrong. This advice, and Claire's shifting maternal instincts, might all be part of the big Dharma mind game.
Which brings us to the blue-eyed, raven-haired young lady we're assuming to be Rousseau's daughter, Alex. Clearly, the Others have their own insubordination problems. Evil baby injectors they may be, but as Alex and (to a lesser extent) Ethan have shown us, they're not a Hive Mind. (Ethan never should've taken Claire outside — that was a stupid risk, from the Others' perspective. He'd clearly developed an affinity for her, which she, in her drugged state, returned sunnily.)
They're also not a collection of spooky old fishermen and scruffy castaways. Nope, those Scooby-Doo beards conceal well-shorn, well-equipped lab-coat types, with the best technology 1975 dollars can buy. As Zeke (the gruff-voiced Other last seen in fake whiskers) indicated in his argument with Ethan, these Dharma holdouts serve a mysterious Him. And who might Him be, do you wonder? Speculation is rife: Walt? Industrialist and Dharma founder Alvar Hanso? Fyodor Dostoyevsky?
Yes, we have another literary mystery. Head Hatch librarian Locke has pulled yet another book off the shelf, and it's The Brothers Karamazov, a tale of patricide and fraternal rivalry. (Gale requested Stephen King: Intertextual theorists, start your engines.) There is, perhaps, no better way to introduce the final stage of the Jack-Locke showdown — except, golly, does anyone really buy that Locke would be so easily manipulated by Gale? All the battered Gale has to do is tease Locke crudely about his second-banana status to Dr. Jack, and our favorite uni-kidneyed boar hunter throws a tantrum. Let's briefly review what made Locke such a fantastic character in season 1: He marched to the beat of his own drummer. He didn't want to be king of the island; he wanted to be its friend. He thought he had a rapport with the ineffable. To bring him down to a king-of-the-Hatch battle with Jack seems an awful waste. A schoolyard tussle seems beneath Locke. What happened to his mysticism? He's in a father-son struggle with God, not a brother-against-brother one with Jack. In the writers' haste to pit science against religion (and thus, Jack against Locke), they may have written their best character into a corner.
But that's neither here nor there. Let's celebrate what we've got, which is a glorious return to the elements that made Lost great from minute one: sharp, spare dialogue, (mostly) excellent character work, and genuine dread. (Between Ethan's creepy smile, Dharma keychain, rotating retro shirts, and big squirty amnio needle, I was certainly goose-pimpled.) Things have been too damned comfortable on the island lately, and crazy Charlie just isn't enough to stir the pot all by himself. We're now returning to the archetypal fears that animated the show in the first season, and the continued visibility of Libby (who I'm absolutely convinced is an Other) promises even more intrigue. She and Henry Gale are both clearly on an infiltration and subversion mission, putting worms in the mental apples of our castaways.
Oh, and there's also the matter of the ''infection.'' Desmond took most but not all of the supposed vaccine. But is the vaccine the cure — or the disease itself? Do the Others want the baby ''sick,'' so it's like them? Do they share some communal malady? And the biggest question: What if they switched the kids...and Claire's raising Baby Bob? We'll know when it starts croaking its craving for Quiznos in a 40-year-old baritone. Stay tuned.
What do you think?
Let me begin by saying it's especially nice to write this column on nights when there's so very, very much to write about: the long-awaited story of what happened to Claire during her two-week abduction, a significant advancement of the Dharma mythology (including the discovery of a brand new hatch, the Caduceus), an illuminating look at Rousseau, and a heart-to-heart with Mister Eko. Not to mention some of the best dialogue in a while. For example, when Locke allowed Eko to question their captive, suspected Other Henry Gale:
Locke: Don't tell him what the alarm is for.
Eko: What is the alarm for?
This is inarguably the best-written episode in some time: excellent use of the plot groundwork laid last season (Claire's disappearance, Rousseau's involvement, the mystery illness, and Desmond's lotto-numbered injects), as well as excellent teases for future developments. So let's begin, to the tune of the Perry Como classic, ''Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket....''
My friend Liz called to remind me that this little ditty — the one played by the airplane mobile over Future Aaron's crib — was, in fact, the same song Claire, in last year's flashback, hoped that her child's adoptive parents would know. So how'd the Others know it, when they were preparing a nursery for the baby they planned to harvest from Claire? Well, there's the psychic explanation — increasingly popular round these parts, especially with my colleague, the esteemed theorist Jeff Jensen.
The other explanation, of course, is that Claire's creepy Australian psychic (the one whose advice she sought on her unexpected pregnancy) was nothing of the sort — just a Dharma Other in civvies, sending his cohorts on the island fresh meat. He could've given them the full dossier on Claire. Of course, he's also the one who told Claire she must, must, must raise the baby herself — otherwise it'd turn out all (shudder) wrong. This advice, and Claire's shifting maternal instincts, might all be part of the big Dharma mind game.
Which brings us to the blue-eyed, raven-haired young lady we're assuming to be Rousseau's daughter, Alex. Clearly, the Others have their own insubordination problems. Evil baby injectors they may be, but as Alex and (to a lesser extent) Ethan have shown us, they're not a Hive Mind. (Ethan never should've taken Claire outside — that was a stupid risk, from the Others' perspective. He'd clearly developed an affinity for her, which she, in her drugged state, returned sunnily.)
They're also not a collection of spooky old fishermen and scruffy castaways. Nope, those Scooby-Doo beards conceal well-shorn, well-equipped lab-coat types, with the best technology 1975 dollars can buy. As Zeke (the gruff-voiced Other last seen in fake whiskers) indicated in his argument with Ethan, these Dharma holdouts serve a mysterious Him. And who might Him be, do you wonder? Speculation is rife: Walt? Industrialist and Dharma founder Alvar Hanso? Fyodor Dostoyevsky?
Yes, we have another literary mystery. Head Hatch librarian Locke has pulled yet another book off the shelf, and it's The Brothers Karamazov, a tale of patricide and fraternal rivalry. (Gale requested Stephen King: Intertextual theorists, start your engines.) There is, perhaps, no better way to introduce the final stage of the Jack-Locke showdown — except, golly, does anyone really buy that Locke would be so easily manipulated by Gale? All the battered Gale has to do is tease Locke crudely about his second-banana status to Dr. Jack, and our favorite uni-kidneyed boar hunter throws a tantrum. Let's briefly review what made Locke such a fantastic character in season 1: He marched to the beat of his own drummer. He didn't want to be king of the island; he wanted to be its friend. He thought he had a rapport with the ineffable. To bring him down to a king-of-the-Hatch battle with Jack seems an awful waste. A schoolyard tussle seems beneath Locke. What happened to his mysticism? He's in a father-son struggle with God, not a brother-against-brother one with Jack. In the writers' haste to pit science against religion (and thus, Jack against Locke), they may have written their best character into a corner.
But that's neither here nor there. Let's celebrate what we've got, which is a glorious return to the elements that made Lost great from minute one: sharp, spare dialogue, (mostly) excellent character work, and genuine dread. (Between Ethan's creepy smile, Dharma keychain, rotating retro shirts, and big squirty amnio needle, I was certainly goose-pimpled.) Things have been too damned comfortable on the island lately, and crazy Charlie just isn't enough to stir the pot all by himself. We're now returning to the archetypal fears that animated the show in the first season, and the continued visibility of Libby (who I'm absolutely convinced is an Other) promises even more intrigue. She and Henry Gale are both clearly on an infiltration and subversion mission, putting worms in the mental apples of our castaways.
Oh, and there's also the matter of the ''infection.'' Desmond took most but not all of the supposed vaccine. But is the vaccine the cure — or the disease itself? Do the Others want the baby ''sick,'' so it's like them? Do they share some communal malady? And the biggest question: What if they switched the kids...and Claire's raising Baby Bob? We'll know when it starts croaking its craving for Quiznos in a 40-year-old baritone. Stay tuned.
What do you think?
Wednesday, March 1
Maybe it's because I wasn't exactly sober when I watched it...
But Television Without Pity agrees with Jen! Real World sucked! And the readers agreed by giving it a C- grade:
Like a nightmare that you can't wake up from and keep having, like, seventeen times, The Real World is back for another year of drunken sluttery. Meet the new kids. Same as the old kids. Svetlana has a boyfriend she'll cheat on and boobs she will display. Paula is bulimic. Tyler is gay. Janelle is of mixed race and hopes people will accept her. John is a jokey meathead. Zach is a Jewfroed nice guy. Jose is Latino and buys houses. Hurricane Katrina ruins the introductions...they're all marooned on the Keys before even getting to the house. Luckily, while New Orleans drowned, the kids all survived. Priorities! Svetlana and Tyler ride in a puddle-jumper. Svetie is scared. She airs out her vagina. I'm not kidding. The house. It's yellow and tacky and Florida-y and horrible and, of course, absolutely gorgeous. The kids move in, chose rooms, swim, and then go out drinking. Paula cries to Zach while everyone else has fun. She's a basket case. Awesome! Svetlana talks to her jealous boyfriend on the phone; she and Zach are getting close. Svetlana and Paula bond over their warped body images. Nothing. Happens. And then happens again. There is no flow to the episode. Svetlana and John take some sort of nap together. My cable goes out for a minute. Good. The kids go out to the clubs again. My cable stops while Svetlana is getting jealous of John paying attention to Paula. But then Paula runs off while my cable is down and suddenly Paula and John are fighting in the van and Paula has a panic attack and everyone is concerned about her. Mostly, I'm just concerned because...OH MY GOD YAWN!
Fraud is the new irreconcilable differences
That's the reason behind Sophia Bush's divorce of that One Tree Hill guy.
Real World: Key West
I love the gay guy. He sure has some great one-liners on him. I love when he described one of the girls boobs as "going on forever." The anerexic girl looks to me like she had a bad episode, but she'll be a "normal" roommate for the rest of the season. The same can't be said for the Russian Princess. She looks like she'll be a mess.
Jen's over the Real World. But 17 seasons later, I'm still lovin' it!
Jen's over the Real World. But 17 seasons later, I'm still lovin' it!
Wednesday Watch
8pm FOX-American Idol. Guys will sing for 1.5 hours. Whee!!! More Ace, please!
9pm ABC-LOST. A Claire-centric eppy. "A desperate Claire, along with Kate and Rousseau, attempts a return to the scene of her kidnapping where she believes she might find the cure for Baby Aaron's mysterious illness. Meanwhile, Jack and Locke must keep their prisoner a secret from the rest of the survivors." Last new eppy until 3/22.
10pm-ABCBarbara Walter's Oscar special. Due up: George Clooney, Patrick Dempsey (Dr. McDreamy), Matthew McConaughey (I may just pass out from overload.... first Ace then Matthew..... drool!!!!!!), and Mariah Carey. I want to see Mariah, if for no other reason than to see if she will wear something appropriate or if she'll be sporting some sort of floozy-stripper ensemble.
9pm ABC-LOST. A Claire-centric eppy. "A desperate Claire, along with Kate and Rousseau, attempts a return to the scene of her kidnapping where she believes she might find the cure for Baby Aaron's mysterious illness. Meanwhile, Jack and Locke must keep their prisoner a secret from the rest of the survivors." Last new eppy until 3/22.
10pm-ABCBarbara Walter's Oscar special. Due up: George Clooney, Patrick Dempsey (Dr. McDreamy), Matthew McConaughey (I may just pass out from overload.... first Ace then Matthew..... drool!!!!!!), and Mariah Carey. I want to see Mariah, if for no other reason than to see if she will wear something appropriate or if she'll be sporting some sort of floozy-stripper ensemble.
Can You Spare Some Change?
Yes. I would like one. Yes. I am taking donations. Don't leave comments, just leave cash. Thank you.
Apple
Apple
Idol Chatter
So I watched last night and can say I am not wowed by any of the ladies. I did, however, catch a glimpse of Ace, which was quite satisfying, if I do say so myself. Definitely made the show worth watching! But I digress.... here's a nice recap from EW:
Wait just a minute here. We're only on the second week of semifinals for season 5 of American Idol, and already the contestants are hedging their bets? Not a bad strategy, perhaps — if you're the kind of singer who's content with merely making it to the final 12. But in a season where at least seven or eight wannabes look like potential champs, safe really ought to be added to the list of banned four-letter words.
Indeed, of the 10 women who performed tonight, I'd argue that half — Paris Bennett, Katharine McPhee, Lisa Tucker, Kinnik Sky, and Melissa McPhee — left a little something in the kitchen cupboard, to paraphrase the increasingly incoherent Randy Jackson. That may not pose an immediate problem for the first three (all of them early front-runners), but I'm betting Kinnik and Melissa's trepidation will result in a reprieve for either the insufferable Brenna Gethers or the depressing Heather Cox.
And seriously, if there's even a chance we'll have to endure another week of Brenna's vocal poison, then Paris and Katharine had better come with the antidote. To be fair, Paris's ''Wind Beneath My Wings'' showcased another powerful vocal this week, but the gifted teen's previous showstoppers — including last week's buoyant ''Midnight Train to Georgia'' — have set the bar so high that it's no longer acceptable just to hear her color within Bette Midler's pre-established outline. What's more, Paris should be careful about looking skyward and declaring, ''I have favor,'' before she takes the stage; you don't have to be the pet student in Bible study to know that pride goeth before a fall, mmkay, kiddo?
Katharine, on the other hand, might as well have waved a white flag to wrap up her listless (though at least on-key) take on Stevie Wonder's ''All in Love Is Fair.'' I'm not sure what her problem was this week, although I'd like to think she was regretting her decision to wear that unflattering halter top, which made it look like her waist started just beneath her cleavage. Egads!
Come to think of it, maybe the Idol producers assigned the same stylist to Lisa, whose overlapping yellow and pink tank tops seemed better suited to a slumber party than to a wobbly live performance of the Jackson 5's ''Who's Lovin' You.'' Good thing for the human doll, she's got enough fans from the audition rounds — and enough love from the judges — to get a free pass into next week.
Kinnik and Melissa have no such luxury, however, which makes their forgettable renditions of ''Here for the Party'' and ''Why Haven't I Heard From You'' all that much harder to understand. If either is lucky enough to last another week, might I suggest a nonstop soundtrack of Eminem's ''Lose Yourself''? The song's chorus pretty much drives home a crucial Idol lesson that seems to have escaped both women: ''You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.'' (Yes, I know there's something kind of unseemly about quoting Eminem in an American Idol TV Watch, and I promise never to do it again.)
Oh, and speaking of unseemly, how about that Brenna? Yeah, they say that disco never died, but it sure as heck received a knee to its groin tonight in the form of her abysmal ''Last Dance.'' You'd think the girl who survived elimination last week on pure chutzpah would've at least brought the attitude this week, but I think deep down she realized she was in no position to tackle a legend like Donna Summer. In some ways, it was the musical equivalent of pitting a toy poodle against a pit bull; one of 'em had better drop to the floor and recognize its inferiority — even if its nifty hammered-metal earrings kinda looked like disco balls.
I could use the same analogy for Heather's attempt to sing Mariah Carey's ''Hero,'' but what would be the point? The big-eyed blonde is never going to make the final 12 anyway, so let's save ourselves the painful trip down memory lane and, instead, ponder the three performers who took some risks and, at least to a certain degree, succeeded.
While Ayla Brown's ''I Want You to Need Me'' was probably my least favorite of these three, I had to completely agree with Simon and Paula's assessments that she works harder and seems to want to win as much as or more than any of her competitors. Indeed, choosing a Celine Dion song proved the kid is ambitious; choosing one of her lesser-known hits (and skipping the played-out ''My Heart Will Go On'') showed she's savvy too. And best of all, by discussing her tomboy roots (and the fact that she only recently discovered what foundation is), Ayla came across as winningly real. That's more than I'm willing to say for Gosh-Golly Pickler, who's coming off a bit too wide-eyed by half, but I'll be darned if her gritty ''Something to Talk About'' wasn't one of the evening's best performances. (Extra points for actually working the stage, Pickles.)
Still, any way you slice it, this ladies' night belonged to Mandisa! and her unflinching reinterpretation of Faith Hill's ''Cry.'' Like Randy, I heard a couple of rough notes from the plus-size beauty, but I also heard something that's all too rare on the Idol stage: an artist who's able to erase a well-known hit from my brain and make me feel as if I were hearing it for the very first time. Add to that Mandisa!'s genre-spanning comfort zone, as well as her megawatt personality (''dog jaw!''), and it's clear why playing it safe simply won't cut it for her competition.
Wait just a minute here. We're only on the second week of semifinals for season 5 of American Idol, and already the contestants are hedging their bets? Not a bad strategy, perhaps — if you're the kind of singer who's content with merely making it to the final 12. But in a season where at least seven or eight wannabes look like potential champs, safe really ought to be added to the list of banned four-letter words.
Indeed, of the 10 women who performed tonight, I'd argue that half — Paris Bennett, Katharine McPhee, Lisa Tucker, Kinnik Sky, and Melissa McPhee — left a little something in the kitchen cupboard, to paraphrase the increasingly incoherent Randy Jackson. That may not pose an immediate problem for the first three (all of them early front-runners), but I'm betting Kinnik and Melissa's trepidation will result in a reprieve for either the insufferable Brenna Gethers or the depressing Heather Cox.
And seriously, if there's even a chance we'll have to endure another week of Brenna's vocal poison, then Paris and Katharine had better come with the antidote. To be fair, Paris's ''Wind Beneath My Wings'' showcased another powerful vocal this week, but the gifted teen's previous showstoppers — including last week's buoyant ''Midnight Train to Georgia'' — have set the bar so high that it's no longer acceptable just to hear her color within Bette Midler's pre-established outline. What's more, Paris should be careful about looking skyward and declaring, ''I have favor,'' before she takes the stage; you don't have to be the pet student in Bible study to know that pride goeth before a fall, mmkay, kiddo?
Katharine, on the other hand, might as well have waved a white flag to wrap up her listless (though at least on-key) take on Stevie Wonder's ''All in Love Is Fair.'' I'm not sure what her problem was this week, although I'd like to think she was regretting her decision to wear that unflattering halter top, which made it look like her waist started just beneath her cleavage. Egads!
Come to think of it, maybe the Idol producers assigned the same stylist to Lisa, whose overlapping yellow and pink tank tops seemed better suited to a slumber party than to a wobbly live performance of the Jackson 5's ''Who's Lovin' You.'' Good thing for the human doll, she's got enough fans from the audition rounds — and enough love from the judges — to get a free pass into next week.
Kinnik and Melissa have no such luxury, however, which makes their forgettable renditions of ''Here for the Party'' and ''Why Haven't I Heard From You'' all that much harder to understand. If either is lucky enough to last another week, might I suggest a nonstop soundtrack of Eminem's ''Lose Yourself''? The song's chorus pretty much drives home a crucial Idol lesson that seems to have escaped both women: ''You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.'' (Yes, I know there's something kind of unseemly about quoting Eminem in an American Idol TV Watch, and I promise never to do it again.)
Oh, and speaking of unseemly, how about that Brenna? Yeah, they say that disco never died, but it sure as heck received a knee to its groin tonight in the form of her abysmal ''Last Dance.'' You'd think the girl who survived elimination last week on pure chutzpah would've at least brought the attitude this week, but I think deep down she realized she was in no position to tackle a legend like Donna Summer. In some ways, it was the musical equivalent of pitting a toy poodle against a pit bull; one of 'em had better drop to the floor and recognize its inferiority — even if its nifty hammered-metal earrings kinda looked like disco balls.
I could use the same analogy for Heather's attempt to sing Mariah Carey's ''Hero,'' but what would be the point? The big-eyed blonde is never going to make the final 12 anyway, so let's save ourselves the painful trip down memory lane and, instead, ponder the three performers who took some risks and, at least to a certain degree, succeeded.
While Ayla Brown's ''I Want You to Need Me'' was probably my least favorite of these three, I had to completely agree with Simon and Paula's assessments that she works harder and seems to want to win as much as or more than any of her competitors. Indeed, choosing a Celine Dion song proved the kid is ambitious; choosing one of her lesser-known hits (and skipping the played-out ''My Heart Will Go On'') showed she's savvy too. And best of all, by discussing her tomboy roots (and the fact that she only recently discovered what foundation is), Ayla came across as winningly real. That's more than I'm willing to say for Gosh-Golly Pickler, who's coming off a bit too wide-eyed by half, but I'll be darned if her gritty ''Something to Talk About'' wasn't one of the evening's best performances. (Extra points for actually working the stage, Pickles.)
Still, any way you slice it, this ladies' night belonged to Mandisa! and her unflinching reinterpretation of Faith Hill's ''Cry.'' Like Randy, I heard a couple of rough notes from the plus-size beauty, but I also heard something that's all too rare on the Idol stage: an artist who's able to erase a well-known hit from my brain and make me feel as if I were hearing it for the very first time. Add to that Mandisa!'s genre-spanning comfort zone, as well as her megawatt personality (''dog jaw!''), and it's clear why playing it safe simply won't cut it for her competition.
Amazing Race Recap
Well... it's sorta a recap... thanks to RealityBlurred. Really loving the "old" format of Amazing Race. When it's good, there's nothing better to watch (at least in terms of reality TV).
Amazing Race
And here's a great run-down of the AR "couples", thanks to EW!
Meet The New Duos
Amazing Race
And here's a great run-down of the AR "couples", thanks to EW!
Meet The New Duos
Tuesday, February 28
And the best music...
Ryan Adams put out three great albums.
Sia's "Breathe Me" ended Six Feet Under brilliantly.
Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah is one weird band.
Danger Doom put out a quirky, fun album called "The Mouse and the Mask" based on Adult Swim!
Madonna made up for a shitty American Life with "Confessions from a Dancefloor"
Death Cab For Cutie made another good one ("Plans").
Sufjan Stevens and Fiona Apple, I can't stop listening to either you.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (probably my new favorite band) put out a helluvan album called "Howl."
Franz Ferdinand is making it hard for other bands to come up with such great guitar hooks!
Gorillaz and Sigur Ros put out some of the most interesting stuff.
...another band that is now one of my favorites: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead...
AND the best concerts:
-U2 (of course)
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (tight)
-NIN (loud)
-Ray LaMontagne (wonderful acoustic)
And that's all for now.
Sia's "Breathe Me" ended Six Feet Under brilliantly.
Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah is one weird band.
Danger Doom put out a quirky, fun album called "The Mouse and the Mask" based on Adult Swim!
Madonna made up for a shitty American Life with "Confessions from a Dancefloor"
Death Cab For Cutie made another good one ("Plans").
Sufjan Stevens and Fiona Apple, I can't stop listening to either you.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (probably my new favorite band) put out a helluvan album called "Howl."
Franz Ferdinand is making it hard for other bands to come up with such great guitar hooks!
Gorillaz and Sigur Ros put out some of the most interesting stuff.
...another band that is now one of my favorites: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead...
AND the best concerts:
-U2 (of course)
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (tight)
-NIN (loud)
-Ray LaMontagne (wonderful acoustic)
And that's all for now.
Okay, it's time...
...to list my favorite films of 2005, in alphabetical order:
BATMAN BEGINS
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY
HAPPY ENDINGS
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
MUNICH
MURDERBALL
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
TRANSAMERICA
Looking over this list, it hasn't been a great year for movies. (I mean... the list should be much longer!)
BUT I still have to see:
Good Night & Good Luck
Capote
Match Point
King Kong
Hustle & Flow
Biggest Let Down (that I saw):
Rent
(I usually stay away from movies I think I won't like.)
BATMAN BEGINS
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY
HAPPY ENDINGS
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
MUNICH
MURDERBALL
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
TRANSAMERICA
Looking over this list, it hasn't been a great year for movies. (I mean... the list should be much longer!)
BUT I still have to see:
Good Night & Good Luck
Capote
Match Point
King Kong
Hustle & Flow
Biggest Let Down (that I saw):
Rent
(I usually stay away from movies I think I won't like.)
New Music Tuesday
Arctic Monkeys: Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Jack Johnson: Sing-a-longs & Lullabies For the Film Curious George
James Blunt: Back to Bedlam
Richard Ashcroft: Keys to the World
Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures
13 & God: 13 & God
Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Animal Collective: Feels
Say Anything: Is a Real Boy
Plus singles/b-sides from:
U2
Bloc Party
Coldplay
Franz Ferdinand
Jack Johnson: Sing-a-longs & Lullabies For the Film Curious George
James Blunt: Back to Bedlam
Richard Ashcroft: Keys to the World
Rogue Wave: Descended Like Vultures
13 & God: 13 & God
Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Animal Collective: Feels
Say Anything: Is a Real Boy
Plus singles/b-sides from:
U2
Bloc Party
Coldplay
Franz Ferdinand
Arrested Development
The Showtime deal is harder to figure out than the engagement of Keith Urban and Nikki Kidman. But Page Six is reporting that Showtime picked it up for 26 episodes (2 seasons). And this could quite possibly be the best news ever!
Tuesday Tube
Okay, lots of goodies for today. Hope your Tivo (and if you don't have one, why the hell not????????) is prepped and ready to go!
First off and most importantly, Amazing Race 9 debuts with a two-hour premier tonight on CBS at 9pm
Deal or No Deal is on tonight. I have not watched the show but hear it's quite entertaining. It's on NBC and starts at 8pm.
8pm on FOX brings us American Idol. Love this show. Definitely has a spot on my season pass.
For those still subjecting themselves to the train wreck called the Real World, it premiers tonight at 10pm on MTV. I used to look forward to this show. Now it's become a complete parody of itself and is no longer worth watching.
And finally a couple oddball tidbits....
We learn that Fear Factor may not be coming back. Was anyone even watching this? It's so like, 3 years ago.
And last night we learned Travis picked Sarah. I predict they will stay together for the obligatory publicity tour and then go their separate ways. Can anyone tell me why this show is still on the air?
First off and most importantly, Amazing Race 9 debuts with a two-hour premier tonight on CBS at 9pm
Deal or No Deal is on tonight. I have not watched the show but hear it's quite entertaining. It's on NBC and starts at 8pm.
8pm on FOX brings us American Idol. Love this show. Definitely has a spot on my season pass.
For those still subjecting themselves to the train wreck called the Real World, it premiers tonight at 10pm on MTV. I used to look forward to this show. Now it's become a complete parody of itself and is no longer worth watching.
And finally a couple oddball tidbits....
We learn that Fear Factor may not be coming back. Was anyone even watching this? It's so like, 3 years ago.
And last night we learned Travis picked Sarah. I predict they will stay together for the obligatory publicity tour and then go their separate ways. Can anyone tell me why this show is still on the air?
Monday, February 27
John Leguizamo
He was at the dog park yesterday. Seems like a really nice guy, but I felt bad when everyone at the park crowded around him and did tricks with their dogs, like he was a freaking circus ringleader or something. Leave the man alone!
TWP on GA
Wow. We spend FAR too much time between Addison's legs during this episode. I mean, really. Thankfully, though, we don't become personally acquainted with her va-jay-jay. As it turns out, Addison got poison oak on her pookie and she thinks this is a karmic payback for screwing Mark a year ago. Addison finally clues Derek in on her blistering cootch and he enjoys a good hearty laugh over it, as do we all.
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as he…just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
In the karmic sense, George thinks that, because he's a doormat -- erm, I mean, "a nice guy," the result of him sleeping with Meredith should be more of the dream-fantasy lounging-by-the-pool variety and not the she's-ignoring-him-and-he's-moping-all-over-the-damn-place variety that's actually occurring. But the universe is listening, George, and it's telling you to date that hot doctor who helped set your shoulder. Grow a pair, buddy, and date outside the damn house, okay?
Denny the Magical Heart Patient shows up long enough to talk about karma and charm the proverbial pants off of Izzie, much to Alex's chagrin. Especially when she forgets a date with Alex in order to make googly eyes at Denny. Aw. There's a rush on charming heart patients, apparently, because another dude shows up with an aneurysm and teaches George a lesson about love and how we shouldn't waste our time on bitches who don't love us back. Or maybe I'm projecting a bit.
Answering my prayers, George grows a pair and moves out of the House of Blue Tequila and manages to get Hot Doc's phone number as well. The pair he grows isn't all that large, however, seeing as he…just moves in with Cristina and Burke. What, these people haven't heard of motels?
Grey's
I passed out before the end, but did anyone else think about why George was the voiceover? Is that the first time?
AD News from Kristin
"Hey all --I, too, have seen the report on betterthanfudge.com that Arrested has been picked up for 12 episodes. My source (*Very reliable*) says: "No deal yet. It's closer, but not done. The chances are now 50/50. "Yee!!! So good news -- it looks like Arrested could be saved! Go Bluths!"
Alias is back!!!
And it's got a cushy time period!
From E!'s Kristin: "ALIAS IS COMING BACK IN APRIL FOR 8 FINAL HOURS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 8 PM! I'm told that there will be a two-hour midseason premiere, then four episodes, then a 2-hour finale in May."
From E!'s Kristin: "ALIAS IS COMING BACK IN APRIL FOR 8 FINAL HOURS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 8 PM! I'm told that there will be a two-hour midseason premiere, then four episodes, then a 2-hour finale in May."
LOST Theory
Courtesy of EW:
1. THE ISLAND: It's Alive!
Our theory of Lost begins with the question posed in the pilot by smack-addled rocker Charlie: ''Guys...where are we?'' Some have argued that the island could be a hallucination — ''A Psychological Shipwreck,'' to use the title of an 1879 short story by Lost-linked author Ambrose Bierce. Or an alien twilight zone. It's tempting to go with ''limbo'' — an elastic enough idea to corral the show's incredible coincidences and odd details, like a smoke monster and a band of child-swiping Others. But we believe the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 aren't stuck in a mass delusion or a satanic mousetrap. They're alive on the island. A haunted island. And it was made that way by the Dharma Initiative.
2. THE DHARMA INITIATIVE: Head Games
What we know about Dharma is incomplete at best, utterly bogus at worst. According to a choppy ''orientation film'' found in the hatch, Dharma founders Gerald and Karen DeGroot established a research facility on the island in the 1970s to conduct experiments in meteorology, zoology, electromagnetism, psychology, and parapsychology — a dubious science that believes the brain houses mind-over-matter powers. (Think X-Men, Jedi Knights, and sci-fi author Robert Heinlein, whose 1941 short story Lost Legacy is about kids realizing their psychic potential under the tutelage of — COINCIDENCE ALERT! — Ambrose Bierce.) Our theory is that intentionally or not, the Dharma team pulled loose psychic powers from one of its test subjects — skip to No. 5 for the answer about who that might be — with disastrous results. How? With fear. Where? Where else, down in...
3. THE HATCH: Human Testing
The orientation film claims the hatch was originally used to study the island's ''unique'' electromagnetic energy. And indeed, there is a curious wall that seems to be humming with the stuff. But the filmstrip also states that the DeGroots were following B.F. Skinner, a psychologist famous for his Skinner boxes: controlled environments used to study animal behavior. Folks, the hatch is a human Skinner box.
Why wasn't this mentioned in the orientation film? Because the orientation film is part of the experiment! The film was fiction, designed to induce paranoia and fear and observe the test subject's reaction. What Dharma was studying was the behavior every Lost fanatic engages in: the human imperative to organize seemingly random details into some kind of order. The problem is that someone — someone we haven't seen or met yet — was put in the hatch and had a psychic break of world-altering proportions.
4. THE NUMBERS: Those Damn Yankees!
It has been Lost's most baffling conundrum: the seemingly inexplicable connection between Hurley's havoc-causing Lotto picks — 4 8 15 16 23 42 — and the hatch's computer code. This is a two-part riddle. First, the original purpose of the numbers: Skinner box experiments require test subjects to execute empty tasks, like pulling levers or, say, inputting digits into a computer. The Dharma-ites chose the sequence because...they were big Yankee fans, and each number correlates to a retired Yankee jersey. But the second question is far more important: What purpose do the numbers serve now? There are lots of out-there (and fun) ways to go with this, but the truth is that the numbers don't do anything. The ''cursed'' digits are just one more sinister detail in Dharma's elaborate sleight of hand intended to freak out test subjects. The problem was that extreme stress on the subject in the hatch combined with the electromagnetic energy down there to jar loose some suppressed psychic powers. And it jarred them loose in the wrong individual. In that explosive moment, the once meaningless digits were encoded with devilish life. Hence, Hurley's bad luck, and a virus that is rewriting reality on the island.
5. THE ANSWER TO 'LOST': The Island Is Haunted by a Powerful Psychic
The Dharma experiments resulted in the creation of a potent disembodied being. A being deeply steeped in pop culture — think about all the novels, comic books, and random flotsam that make up the DNA of Lost — and powerful enough to bring those bits of pop culture to life. Someone who imprinted his consciousness on the island. Someone whose radioactive corpse was walled up in the hatch. Someone named Aaron.
So how did the Oceanic crew end up on the island? Aaron summoned them, because he has as-yet-undetermined uses for each of them...and he needed a new body. The body of a then-unborn baby. Claire's baby. Which is why the Others (Aaron's followers) have tried to kidnap her child. And why they had to snatch poor, psychic Walt — remember that dead bird from season 1? — who was the only one with the ability to see through their plan.
Of course, the castaways could all be dead. It could be a mass hallucination. The Others could be trying to secure franchise rights to the Twilight Zone Dairy Queen. But this is our story, and we're sticking to it. At least until the start of the next episode.
---Jen here.... I don't know about anyone else but if I am a victim of a fucking Skinner box experiment, I am going postal on somebody!!!!!!!!
1. THE ISLAND: It's Alive!
Our theory of Lost begins with the question posed in the pilot by smack-addled rocker Charlie: ''Guys...where are we?'' Some have argued that the island could be a hallucination — ''A Psychological Shipwreck,'' to use the title of an 1879 short story by Lost-linked author Ambrose Bierce. Or an alien twilight zone. It's tempting to go with ''limbo'' — an elastic enough idea to corral the show's incredible coincidences and odd details, like a smoke monster and a band of child-swiping Others. But we believe the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 aren't stuck in a mass delusion or a satanic mousetrap. They're alive on the island. A haunted island. And it was made that way by the Dharma Initiative.
2. THE DHARMA INITIATIVE: Head Games
What we know about Dharma is incomplete at best, utterly bogus at worst. According to a choppy ''orientation film'' found in the hatch, Dharma founders Gerald and Karen DeGroot established a research facility on the island in the 1970s to conduct experiments in meteorology, zoology, electromagnetism, psychology, and parapsychology — a dubious science that believes the brain houses mind-over-matter powers. (Think X-Men, Jedi Knights, and sci-fi author Robert Heinlein, whose 1941 short story Lost Legacy is about kids realizing their psychic potential under the tutelage of — COINCIDENCE ALERT! — Ambrose Bierce.) Our theory is that intentionally or not, the Dharma team pulled loose psychic powers from one of its test subjects — skip to No. 5 for the answer about who that might be — with disastrous results. How? With fear. Where? Where else, down in...
3. THE HATCH: Human Testing
The orientation film claims the hatch was originally used to study the island's ''unique'' electromagnetic energy. And indeed, there is a curious wall that seems to be humming with the stuff. But the filmstrip also states that the DeGroots were following B.F. Skinner, a psychologist famous for his Skinner boxes: controlled environments used to study animal behavior. Folks, the hatch is a human Skinner box.
Why wasn't this mentioned in the orientation film? Because the orientation film is part of the experiment! The film was fiction, designed to induce paranoia and fear and observe the test subject's reaction. What Dharma was studying was the behavior every Lost fanatic engages in: the human imperative to organize seemingly random details into some kind of order. The problem is that someone — someone we haven't seen or met yet — was put in the hatch and had a psychic break of world-altering proportions.
4. THE NUMBERS: Those Damn Yankees!
It has been Lost's most baffling conundrum: the seemingly inexplicable connection between Hurley's havoc-causing Lotto picks — 4 8 15 16 23 42 — and the hatch's computer code. This is a two-part riddle. First, the original purpose of the numbers: Skinner box experiments require test subjects to execute empty tasks, like pulling levers or, say, inputting digits into a computer. The Dharma-ites chose the sequence because...they were big Yankee fans, and each number correlates to a retired Yankee jersey. But the second question is far more important: What purpose do the numbers serve now? There are lots of out-there (and fun) ways to go with this, but the truth is that the numbers don't do anything. The ''cursed'' digits are just one more sinister detail in Dharma's elaborate sleight of hand intended to freak out test subjects. The problem was that extreme stress on the subject in the hatch combined with the electromagnetic energy down there to jar loose some suppressed psychic powers. And it jarred them loose in the wrong individual. In that explosive moment, the once meaningless digits were encoded with devilish life. Hence, Hurley's bad luck, and a virus that is rewriting reality on the island.
5. THE ANSWER TO 'LOST': The Island Is Haunted by a Powerful Psychic
The Dharma experiments resulted in the creation of a potent disembodied being. A being deeply steeped in pop culture — think about all the novels, comic books, and random flotsam that make up the DNA of Lost — and powerful enough to bring those bits of pop culture to life. Someone who imprinted his consciousness on the island. Someone whose radioactive corpse was walled up in the hatch. Someone named Aaron.
So how did the Oceanic crew end up on the island? Aaron summoned them, because he has as-yet-undetermined uses for each of them...and he needed a new body. The body of a then-unborn baby. Claire's baby. Which is why the Others (Aaron's followers) have tried to kidnap her child. And why they had to snatch poor, psychic Walt — remember that dead bird from season 1? — who was the only one with the ability to see through their plan.
Of course, the castaways could all be dead. It could be a mass hallucination. The Others could be trying to secure franchise rights to the Twilight Zone Dairy Queen. But this is our story, and we're sticking to it. At least until the start of the next episode.
---Jen here.... I don't know about anyone else but if I am a victim of a fucking Skinner box experiment, I am going postal on somebody!!!!!!!!
Shocked
That Sheryl has breast cancer. I hope she recovers well, and maybe she and Lance will give it another go?
DWTS 2
Drew Lachey wins!! Hooray!! Still can't believe Stacy Keibler didn't beat out Jerry Rice, though. Not that I cared. I wanted Drew to win anyhow. Fun show and I can't believe my husband sits there, week after week and actually watches it.
Tube Watch
The fifth season of The Apprentice kicks off tonight on NBC at 9pm. Yawn.
Also on tonight, the finale of The Bachelor (is anyone even watching this?) begins at 9pm on ABC and will stretch out for 2 hours.
Also on tonight, the finale of The Bachelor (is anyone even watching this?) begins at 9pm on ABC and will stretch out for 2 hours.
Friday, February 24
Madonna at the Wiltern???
The Wiltern is a small venue in LA. It's awesome. It's small. It's intimate. It's not where you'd expect to see Madonna perform. But that's the intent of her next tour, which will include many "intimate" venues, such as The Wiltern. Hot! And probably expensive!
Alias
No longer going 22 episodes this season, just 17. That means there are 8 left to air.
Lena Olin and Bradley Cooper and Michael Vartan are all coming back!!!! (Holy Season Two!)
Someone is going to die. (My guess... Sloane.)
Bring it back! Bring it back!
Lena Olin and Bradley Cooper and Michael Vartan are all coming back!!!! (Holy Season Two!)
Someone is going to die. (My guess... Sloane.)
Bring it back! Bring it back!
Woot
Woot.com has one great deal a day. Sometimes they're dumb (bobbleheads) and sometimes they're not (Pioneer Surround Sound Systems for like, 90% off).
Ban Against Adoption
Ohio Democratic Senator Robert Hagan wants to ban Republicans from adopting:
"Credible research exists that strongly suggests that adopted children raised in Republican households, though significantly wealthier than their Democrat-raised counterparts, are more at risk for developing emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos (and) an alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves...I have spoken to many adopted children raised in Republican households who have admitted that, well, it’s just plain boring most of the time."
This is hilarious. And obviously tongue-in-cheek. But he is trying to make a point that Republicans are being assholes when they introduce legislation that stops gays from legally adopting children.
"Credible research exists that strongly suggests that adopted children raised in Republican households, though significantly wealthier than their Democrat-raised counterparts, are more at risk for developing emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos (and) an alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves...I have spoken to many adopted children raised in Republican households who have admitted that, well, it’s just plain boring most of the time."
This is hilarious. And obviously tongue-in-cheek. But he is trying to make a point that Republicans are being assholes when they introduce legislation that stops gays from legally adopting children.
fun new products
That is what Apple will introduce next week. No other information is available. Interesting.
Details isn't the only gay magazine in the closet
Gayest
1. GQ, 10.39% of male readers are gay/bi
2. Entertainment Weekly, 10.35%
3. TV Guide, 5.46%
4. People, 5.1%
5. Newsweek, 4.74% (tie)
6. Time, 4.74% (tie)
7. Men’s Health, 4.68%
8. National Geographic, 4.1%
9. Consumer Reports, 3.96%
10. U.S. News, 3.9%
Straightest
1. North American Hunter, 99.9% of male readers are straight
2. North American Fisherman, 99.5%
3. Four Wheeler, 99.45%
4. Guns & Ammo, 99.43%
5. Sporting News, 99.41%
6. American Rifleman, 99.37%
7. Cycle World, 99.25%
8. Stuff, 99.23% (tie)
9. Field & Stream, 99.23 (tie)
10. Midwest Living, 99.23 (tie)
This list is mostly obvious, but what straight man reads Midwest Living??
1. GQ, 10.39% of male readers are gay/bi
2. Entertainment Weekly, 10.35%
3. TV Guide, 5.46%
4. People, 5.1%
5. Newsweek, 4.74% (tie)
6. Time, 4.74% (tie)
7. Men’s Health, 4.68%
8. National Geographic, 4.1%
9. Consumer Reports, 3.96%
10. U.S. News, 3.9%
Straightest
1. North American Hunter, 99.9% of male readers are straight
2. North American Fisherman, 99.5%
3. Four Wheeler, 99.45%
4. Guns & Ammo, 99.43%
5. Sporting News, 99.41%
6. American Rifleman, 99.37%
7. Cycle World, 99.25%
8. Stuff, 99.23% (tie)
9. Field & Stream, 99.23 (tie)
10. Midwest Living, 99.23 (tie)
This list is mostly obvious, but what straight man reads Midwest Living??
Great Pilot News!!!
Over at ABC, Calista Flockheart and Rachel Griffiths (!!!!) have joined the cast of Brothers & Sisters. I was wondering what Rachel would choose to do next! And also why Calista hasn't been in anything since Ally McBeal. Brothers & Sisters is about three siblings who run a business together after their father dies. Balthazar Getty (Alias) also stars.
Gina Gershon is set to star in the pilot Lipstick Jungle for NBC based on the Candace Bushnell novel about 3 high-powered NYC woman. Sounds an awful lot like Sex and the City.
Finally, James Van Der Beek joins Sex, Power, Love & Politics on CBS, which is about Joe's life in DC. (Actually, it's about 30-something Capitol Hill staffers. Can't wait!)
Gina Gershon is set to star in the pilot Lipstick Jungle for NBC based on the Candace Bushnell novel about 3 high-powered NYC woman. Sounds an awful lot like Sex and the City.
Finally, James Van Der Beek joins Sex, Power, Love & Politics on CBS, which is about Joe's life in DC. (Actually, it's about 30-something Capitol Hill staffers. Can't wait!)
Favorite Commercials
Here's one list of advertisers' favorites, compiled by Cynthia's Cynopsis:
Wendy's: Where's the Beef?
Coca Cola: I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing
Coca Cola: Mean Joe Green
Alka Seltzer: I can't believe I at the whole thing - meatball
Apple: 1984
Staples: Back to School Campaign: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Anheuser Busch: Clydesdales bow heads to NYC and the site of the former World Trade Center buildings
Dunkin Donuts: Time to Make the Donuts
Pepsi: Lots of Puppies climbing all over a little blond haired boy (interesting how many weren't sure what the product was in this ad)
Tabasco: Exploding mosquito
VW: VW driver arrives at the wedding late
Wendy's: Where's the Beef?
Coca Cola: I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing
Coca Cola: Mean Joe Green
Alka Seltzer: I can't believe I at the whole thing - meatball
Apple: 1984
Staples: Back to School Campaign: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Anheuser Busch: Clydesdales bow heads to NYC and the site of the former World Trade Center buildings
Dunkin Donuts: Time to Make the Donuts
Pepsi: Lots of Puppies climbing all over a little blond haired boy (interesting how many weren't sure what the product was in this ad)
Tabasco: Exploding mosquito
VW: VW driver arrives at the wedding late
1,000,000,000
That's how many songs have been downloaded on iTunes. And the billionth song??? Speed of Sound by Coldplay.
Survivor
A fairly blah episode with the exception of Terry finding the Idol. He would have needed to be blind not to have found it. That stupid map practically spelled it out! Oh... and Dan... he's still being filmed in black & white. Anyone else noticing that? The man has no melotonin or something.
Anyhow, here's the EW recap:
I'm a fraud. A phony. A fake. A good-for-nothing know-nothing. Just to recap, let's go back to what I wrote about the two tribes in week 2 after they were split into La Mina and Casaya: ''This could be Palau all over again....Everyone on La Mina...seems pretty physical. And with both [an] astronaut and a rocket scientist on their team, they figure to do well in puzzle challenges as well. Casaya, on the other hand, got stuck with Melinda and Cirie as well as quitter boy [Shane]....They're in a heap of trouble.'' Pretty bad. But I wasn't done. Last week, even after Casaya won immunity, I boldly proclaimed, ''I still think La Mina is going to dominate Casaya....Casaya is just a mess.''
Let's just pause now to let the embarrassment sink in. And pause...keep pausing...almost done now...there, that's enough. That's right, the members of that ''mess'' Casaya, who are ''in a heap of trouble,'' just won their third straight challenge. The funniest part about it is, they are a mess! So if they're a mess, what does that make La Mina, a hot mess? And what does that make me for predicting La Mina dominance, a...uh, messy mess? (And what does that make me for using the term ''messy mess,'' an idiot?) I have no idea about any of this, but I will say one thing in my defense — looking at the makeup of the tribes, Casaya should have not only won that immunity challenge but full-on dominated it, considering it was 100 percent balance oriented, and they had a yogi, a gymnast, and a martial artist running the course. Yes, I'm making excuses, but that's what all the great ones do when they get publicly humiliated.
Speaking of being publicly humiliated, I was almost shot down on a second front when my girl Sally looked like a surefire goner. The Sally Alert appeared to be ready for its final edition until she turned into Carl Lewis on the balance beam. Homegirl was smokin'! And not in the way that she's usually smokin', although she was certainly still smokin' in that way as well. You know what? Let's just consider her double smoked for this episode, shall we? Of course, this posed a problem for the men, who had promised Ruth Marie she could be fifth on their totem pole. This actually proved to be an interesting dilemma. Austin and Terry were right in assessing that Sally gives them a better chance to win challenges than Ruth Marie, but Dan-O (who for some reason insists on competing in swimming-based reward challenges with his shirt on) was also correct in pointing out that Sally is a lot more likely to flip should they make it to the merge. Still, it will be game over by the merge if they don't start winning some damn challenges, so I think they did the right thing in ousting Ruth Marie...even if I am just a tad biased.
I suppose this is the space where I'm supposed to give Terry big-time props for finding the hidden immunity idol. I'm sure Austin would: Does he have a major-league crush on the fighter pilot or what? But let's put it this way: If I find a note saying that there is a hidden six-pack of Milwaukee's Best sitting under the couch, you know what? I'm gonna find it. And then I'm gonna drink it. And then I'm gonna have an animated conversation with my limited-edition Star Wars tauntaun action figure, but that's beside the point. The point is, all those clues basically pointed out exactly where the idol was. (Putting the word ''why'' in quotes twice wasn't exactly the subtlest of moves.)
But while Terry was enjoying his home for the night, Casaya was enjoying its new shack, the Casa de Charmin. (What happened to the good ol' days when Survivor pimped classy stuff like beer and crappy sodas like Sierra Mist? Now it's down to toilet paper?) The best thing about it all was that we finally began to see the self-proclaimed Bob Dawg unleashed. While Aras and company were discussing turning the outhouse into a storage space for blankies, Bob Dawg took matters into his own hands — or, rather, other body parts. ''Anyone mind if I break in the dumpster?'' he inquired. ''I've got a deuce to drop.'' By all means, drop away, Mr. Dawg. And while you're at it, get your tribe to start dropping a few challenges so I don't look so bad.
What do you think? Will Casaya continue to dominate or fall apart? Will Sally survive? And will Dan ever get a tan?
Anyhow, here's the EW recap:
I'm a fraud. A phony. A fake. A good-for-nothing know-nothing. Just to recap, let's go back to what I wrote about the two tribes in week 2 after they were split into La Mina and Casaya: ''This could be Palau all over again....Everyone on La Mina...seems pretty physical. And with both [an] astronaut and a rocket scientist on their team, they figure to do well in puzzle challenges as well. Casaya, on the other hand, got stuck with Melinda and Cirie as well as quitter boy [Shane]....They're in a heap of trouble.'' Pretty bad. But I wasn't done. Last week, even after Casaya won immunity, I boldly proclaimed, ''I still think La Mina is going to dominate Casaya....Casaya is just a mess.''
Let's just pause now to let the embarrassment sink in. And pause...keep pausing...almost done now...there, that's enough. That's right, the members of that ''mess'' Casaya, who are ''in a heap of trouble,'' just won their third straight challenge. The funniest part about it is, they are a mess! So if they're a mess, what does that make La Mina, a hot mess? And what does that make me for predicting La Mina dominance, a...uh, messy mess? (And what does that make me for using the term ''messy mess,'' an idiot?) I have no idea about any of this, but I will say one thing in my defense — looking at the makeup of the tribes, Casaya should have not only won that immunity challenge but full-on dominated it, considering it was 100 percent balance oriented, and they had a yogi, a gymnast, and a martial artist running the course. Yes, I'm making excuses, but that's what all the great ones do when they get publicly humiliated.
Speaking of being publicly humiliated, I was almost shot down on a second front when my girl Sally looked like a surefire goner. The Sally Alert appeared to be ready for its final edition until she turned into Carl Lewis on the balance beam. Homegirl was smokin'! And not in the way that she's usually smokin', although she was certainly still smokin' in that way as well. You know what? Let's just consider her double smoked for this episode, shall we? Of course, this posed a problem for the men, who had promised Ruth Marie she could be fifth on their totem pole. This actually proved to be an interesting dilemma. Austin and Terry were right in assessing that Sally gives them a better chance to win challenges than Ruth Marie, but Dan-O (who for some reason insists on competing in swimming-based reward challenges with his shirt on) was also correct in pointing out that Sally is a lot more likely to flip should they make it to the merge. Still, it will be game over by the merge if they don't start winning some damn challenges, so I think they did the right thing in ousting Ruth Marie...even if I am just a tad biased.
I suppose this is the space where I'm supposed to give Terry big-time props for finding the hidden immunity idol. I'm sure Austin would: Does he have a major-league crush on the fighter pilot or what? But let's put it this way: If I find a note saying that there is a hidden six-pack of Milwaukee's Best sitting under the couch, you know what? I'm gonna find it. And then I'm gonna drink it. And then I'm gonna have an animated conversation with my limited-edition Star Wars tauntaun action figure, but that's beside the point. The point is, all those clues basically pointed out exactly where the idol was. (Putting the word ''why'' in quotes twice wasn't exactly the subtlest of moves.)
But while Terry was enjoying his home for the night, Casaya was enjoying its new shack, the Casa de Charmin. (What happened to the good ol' days when Survivor pimped classy stuff like beer and crappy sodas like Sierra Mist? Now it's down to toilet paper?) The best thing about it all was that we finally began to see the self-proclaimed Bob Dawg unleashed. While Aras and company were discussing turning the outhouse into a storage space for blankies, Bob Dawg took matters into his own hands — or, rather, other body parts. ''Anyone mind if I break in the dumpster?'' he inquired. ''I've got a deuce to drop.'' By all means, drop away, Mr. Dawg. And while you're at it, get your tribe to start dropping a few challenges so I don't look so bad.
What do you think? Will Casaya continue to dominate or fall apart? Will Sally survive? And will Dan ever get a tan?
DWTS
Okay so I sorta watched it last night. I did catch that Stacy Keibler did something to her ankle. My theory is that they laid the groundwork for this alleged ankle injury so that if she loses, they have a nice little excuse. As far as the dancing, Jerry Rice doesn't have a chance although the 'fro he was sporting was rather entertaining. Keibler did okay but the freestyle dance was pathetic and boring. Really liked Drew's dance. It was original, entertaining and performed very well. I'm rooting for him to take home the trophy (and hopefully before his wife explodes!)
Dancing with the Stars 2 concludes Sunday night with a two-hour live finale starting at 8 p.m. ET. No need to tune in until 9:50, the show will be 99% filler up until that point, I'm sure.
Dancing with the Stars 2 concludes Sunday night with a two-hour live finale starting at 8 p.m. ET. No need to tune in until 9:50, the show will be 99% filler up until that point, I'm sure.
Thursday, February 23
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