Monday, January 23

Friday, January 20

Kate Moss & Who?

Jack Osbourne??????

Need A Laugh?

Read This

--And by the way, I TOTALLY heard the whole "Crying Game" song and was laughing my ass off.

Runway Runaway

Project Runway 2 is the highest-rated show on cable. Love this show!! Don't tell me anything about it though.... I am two episodes behind in watching......

Thursday, January 19

New ABC Shows

Sixty Minute Man is a drama project about a guy who loses an hour each day, no memory whatsoever, leaving he and his family to wonder if he isn't involved in some sort of bizarre national conspiracy. This project is from exec producers Chris Brancato, Bert Salke and Graham Yost.

Day Break - think The Fugitive with the cop being the guy on the run, and while he's running he's also attempting to thwart the murder of someone else and find the guy that framed him. This project comes from exec producer Matt Gross and writer Paul Zbyszewski.

Brothers & Sisters is described as a primetime soap focused on adult siblings, exec produced by Ken Olin and written by Jon Robin Baitz.

Our Thirties is a comedy project from Warren Littlefield and writer Dave Walpert about a group of friends, in their 30's, who are managing life and living in San Francisco.

LOST: Recap

From EW:

OMG, hi, my little Lost kittens! It's me! Whitney! Back to guide you through this week's action-packed episode! Oh, man, do we have some stuff to talk about. Let's start with this: Skating With Celebrities? Didn't suck as bad as I thought it was going to!

So tonight will be remembered for one thing: The first real, declarative appearance of the Others. Sure, I mean, kidnapping Walt was one way to get noticed, but if you really want to make your point, what you gotta do is send Zeke out for a little face-to-face time with Jack. That'll wake 'em up, trust me.

Oh, while I've got you here: Did we all read the latest conspiracy roundup by EW's Jeff Jensen? Yes, he's listened to you, kittens, and posted some of his and your favorite theories about Smokey McSmoke-Smoke over yonder. If you at any point tire of my unfamiliarity with nanotechnology, let me assure you: Mr. Jensen and your fellow readers have it covered.

So once upon a time, Jack was a doctor. And after saving Carol Vessey's life (and then marrying her), word got out that he might also be a miracle worker. Enter Boris and Natasha! Boris has a tumor growing on his spine that he's been told is inoperable; Natasha is his daughter, who is hoping Jack will bring about another miracle (and then marry her). Jack — although he doesn't necessarily believe in miracles — takes the case, works long hours running tests, tries the surgery. Boris dies. Natasha (clearly experiencing some significant grief, duh) makes out with Jack. Jack goes home to discover that Carol Vessey is leaving him for another man anyway. And there, my friends, is what's wrong with Jack. I liked this flashback. Hell, I like any loose end that gets tied up. In the ''Oversimplification of Character's Personal Issues'' column, go right ahead and pencil in ''Jack always needs something to fix.''

That should explain why he's scampering off through the woods looking for Michael, no?

Oh! Right. Michael. Well, remember that one time last week when Michael took a sudden interest in guns? Yeah, well, he sorta clubbed Locke over the head, stole a gun, locked Locke and Jack in the gun closet, and ran off in search of Walt. Two things here: (1) Thank God someone's being proactive, and (2) boy, it sure makes a lot of sense to have Locke and Jack on Button Duty at the same time. But anyhoo, Kate and Sawyer show up just in time to let the President and VP out of the closet and Push the Button before the clock runs down, and then they all go off hunting for Michael.

Except Kate. Jack tells Kate to stay home, as usual.

Kate, as usual, does not do ''stay home.''

So the three boys are running through the woods, looking for Michael. They hear gunshots — seven or so. They take off running toward the gunshots. They find only three shells. Three is less than seven! And when Locke (who Sawyer, now a veritable nickname machine, has dubbed Mr. Clean) loses Michael's trail, that sets everything up oh-so-nice for the little Jungle U.N. Summit. And currently, Team Jack is not sitting on the U.N. Security Council — if you know what I mean. ''I think it's time we all had a talk,'' rasps Bad Santa Zeke (picture me now, sitting on my couch, mouthful of Nilla Wafers, screaming, ''Yes! It is high time someone had a talk with anyone around here!''). And then he makes some cat allusions and some coffee table metaphors and says, ''This is our island.'' But Jack tries to call Zeke's bluff. ''I think we outnumber you,'' he says, refusing to back down. Nice try, Jack! ''Light 'em up!'' Zeke yells, and the jungle is ablaze with torches, and then he reveals that not only has Kate not stayed home but she's gone and got herself kidnapped, too. And Zeke holds a gun to Kate's head and tells Team Jack to drop their guns. And because Evangeline Lilly is not scheduled to get killed off the show any time soon, Team Jack complies, and Zeke and his buddies slink off into the woods, leaving our friends to wonder exactly what they're up against here. Whatever it is, Jack's now a believer: When they all get home, he marches straight over to Strangely Peaceful Michelle Rodriguez and asks, ''How long do you think it would take to train an army?''

Oh, snap. It is on.

A few random notes of interest:

1. Lest you think I am not paying attention, I Googled ''Geronimo Jackson,'' and the first result was the birth announcement of a very cute kid born on Oct. 5, 2004. Please enjoy working yourselves into a lather over that one.

2. In the battle of ''He's my friend'' vs. ''I'm your wife,'' I give Sun 10-to-1 odds of getting her heart broken again. In fact, right now, I am projecting that Jin will be the next cast member killed. That's right. I said it. Too much happiness going on in that relationship. Smokey McSmoke-Smoke no like.

3. We knew Sawyer's real name was James Ford before, right?

4. Would it be possible, given enough time, to rig a clearing with some torches that could be lit by remote? Because I don't know about you, but I only saw like two, three actual people in the jungle surrounding Team Jack. Didn't the Lost Boys try something like that in Hook? (Ru-fee-oh!)

5. Is it just me, or was the whole scene with Charlie and Hurley in the bunker like some weird outtake from Everybody Loves Hurley? Lots of yuks — Hurley declares Libby to be cute ''in a 'I've been terrorized by the Others for 40 days' kind of way'' — and a random, we're-contractually-obligated-to-have-him-in-this-ep entrance from wacky neighbor Sayid? Don't get me wrong: I loved it. I think it has promise as a midseason replacement. It just seemed...odd. Like, oh, I dunno, the whole scene was there for the sole purpose of introducing Geronimo Jackson?

Anyhoo. Boy oh boy, those scenes from next week looked like a party, huh, kids? Something's up with Charlie's Heroin Marys and Claire's baby — plus, Todd Bridges is totally gonna eat it on those skates. See ya then!

What do you think? Do you have a better idea who the Others are? Do you think Jack's army could beat them? And what's your favorite Geronimo Jackson song?

Wednesday, January 18

Get on with it, Fox

I just got word that Fox has STILL not cancelled Arrested Development, and that there is a slight chance it could return in the fall. Fox, you blew it. Cancel it. Let another network that has some balls pick it up.

Tuesday, January 17

Malcolm At the End

This is its last season. I used to like this show but stopped watching for no reason at all. Is it still good?

The Golden Globes opening number

New rule: No more musical numbers at awards shows.

I know it’s Globe time
I know it’s Globe time
Here’s how I know
Here’s how I know
I know we won’t see this many stars at any other show
Desperate Housewives…
These Desperate Housewives……
are matched pearl to pearl
Here is Capote and Johnny Cash
And his name is Earl
Don’t ya think that Jaime looks hot tonight?
Don’t ya think that Reese has a shot tonight?
Don’t ya?
Don’t ya?
Don’t ya love that Russell can throw left hooks?
Don’t ya love the cowboy with his good looks?
Don’t ya?
Don’t ya?
Gwyneth the baby
She’s a baby
George could win three
He could win three
Hannibal Lecter is licking his lips to taste the Cecil B,
This guy’s a riot
He’s a riot
Funny worldwide
Funny worldwide
I hope that this cast that’s known as Lost can find their seats inside
Don’t ya dig the bling on the robes tonight?
Don’t ya want to come to the Globes tonight?
Don’t ya?
Don’t ya?!?

Um... not really. But thanks for asking.

[Lyrics transcribed by BetterThanFudge.com]

Miss Golden Globes

What is the deal with Miss Golden Globes? Why do they need her again?

I honestly didn't think it was possible to look more oblivious than Melanie Griffith, but I guess it is possible: if you are her daughter! I don't think Miss Golden Globes knew she was at the Golden Globes.

Is it me?

Or did Penelope Cruz look like a Star Trek-like hologram last night on the Globes? It was just bizarre.

New iPod Use

Interesting

The DeGeneres Family

The WB has ordered a comedy pilot script that will be penned by Ellen DeGeneres and her brother Vance DeGeneres. The storyline is about a family from two very different perspectives -- the human family members, and the animal family members. Ellen will voice the family dog.

Palm Springs

New show by Kevin Williamson (Dawson's Creek). There should be no surprise that it centers around a group of teenagers. Fortunately, it's on UPN so no one will really watch it.

Mrs. Soprano

What if Tony went to jail and Carmella took over "the family?" That's the premise of a new Fox pilot called Southern Comfort. I would watch it, but it's on Fox. I'm boycotting Fox.

Emily's Reasons Why Not

Reason #1: Because it sucks.

The show has been shut down by ABC. It hasn't been cancelled yet. It joins the ranks of one-air wonders in television history.

Rock Star: ???

Rock Star will be back for a second season with the entire "cast" intact, except for INXS. No word yet who the band will be, but at least it's official the show will return!

The Mathers Honeymoon is Complete

...with the news that Jerry Springer has signed up for a few more years.

My Globes Score

11 out of 24. Bite me.

Idol Mania

Tonight is the night, kids. American Idol invades our every nook and cranny!


From Reality Blurred:

The fifth (!) season of American Idol debuts tonight on FOX. Who will make us swoon and lead us to buy their CD? And who will, say, warble a song through their tracheotomy hole and become America’s newest celebrity even though Simon Cowell dismisses them with, “You have the worst voice I’ve ever heard, at least since the last person I told that to, and you’d have to have a hole in your head to think you’re a good singer.”?

The mass hysteria and parade of delusional talentless media whores begins tonight at 8 p.m. ET, when nine (!) hours of auditions begin. Two hours air tonight, two hours air tomorrow night, and then one hour airs each Tuesday and Wednesday until Feb. 8, when the Hollywood round begins. The actual voting competition starts Feb. 21, more than a month away.

Although most things won’t change, the show is dumping the celebrity judges, thankfully. The financial stakes are higher this year, however, which means that the show will find more ways to cram products down our throats.

Why have we continued to be obsessed by this parade of commercials interrupted by singing? Journalists and writers have answers, and the trend this year seems to be providing those answers in lists. Knight-Ridder’s seven reasons why the show is successful. MSNBC’s Craig Berman calls this “comfort food” but lists 10 things that should be dropped from the show. TV Squad lists five reasons I shouldn’t watch American Idol, but promises a list of five “reasons I should watch American Idol” later today.

14 out of 24

That's my score for the Globes.

Monday, January 16

President Gore?

From his speech today:

Is our Congress today in more danger than were their predecessors when the British army was marching on the Capitol? Is the world more dangerous than when we faced an ideological enemy with tens of thousands of missiles poised to be launched against us and annihilate our country at a moment's notice? Is America in more danger now than when we faced worldwide fascism on the march-when our fathers fought and won two World Wars simultaneously?

It is simply an insult to those who came before us and sacrificed so much on our behalf to imply that we have more to be fearful of than they. Yet they faithfully protected our freedoms and now it is up to us to do the same.

We have a duty as Americans to defend our citizens' right not only to life but also to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is therefore vital in our current circumstances that immediate steps be taken to safeguard our Constitution against the present danger posed by the intrusive overreaching on the part of the Executive Branch and the President's apparent belief that he need not live under the rule of law.

I endorse the words of Bob Barr, when he said, "The President has dared the American people to do something about it. For the sake of the Constitution, I hope they will."

Thighs Wide Shuts: 2005 in Movies

One of my favorite blogs recaps the year in movies.

Kim Mathers

I'm so interested in seeing her non-white wedding dress... or maybe she wore wedding cut-off-jean-shorts. Either way, I bet she looked absolutely trashy!

What are the odds it will last this time?

Band

I'm joining a band. I think. I hope.

Some more new music...

Caribou (or Manitoba... it's called both for some reason)
She Wants Revenge
Cafe Tacuba (always a good choice, if you like Spanish-language rock)


Also, I bought two books this weekend:
-A Million Little Pieces (yeah, I know about the contraversy... but I hear it's still a helluva read)
-Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs

New Music for Your iPod

If you haven't listened to Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, then you should!

Also, check out:

Any Jose Gonzales
Ryan Adams - 29
Sia - Colour the Small One
Death Cab for Cutie - Plans
Elbow - Leaders of the Free World
The Magic Numbers
Shout Out Louds - Howl Howl Gaff Gaff
Any Sufjan Stevens

I Need Me Some New Music!

My MP3 account is loaded with cash and I'm feelin' the need for some tunes! Anyone got any rec's for me???

Wacko Jacko Update

Jackson's Troubles

--I really hope that animal stuff isn't true. How sad... if it is!

Sleuth

New mystery network, owned by NBC. DirecTV will carry it. No word who else.

Golden Globes

Tonight are the Golden Globes. Don't forget to fill out your scorecard! Be honest, and post your results tomorrow. Here are my guesses (note: the Globes are notoriously fickle, tend to go for new TV shows, and you could accuse the voters of being star-fuckers)... my picks (based on who I THINK will win) in orange:

Best Picture Drama

Brokeback Mountain
The Constant Gardener
Good Night, and Good Luck
A History of Violence
Match Point

Best Picture, Musical/Comedy
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Pride & Prejudice
The Producers
The Squid and the Whale
Walk the Line

Best Director
Woody Allen, Match Point
George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck
Peter Jackson, King Kong
Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Fernando Mereilles, The Constant Gardener
Steven Spielberg, Munich

Best Screenplay
Match Point
Good Night, And Good Luck
Crash
Munich
Brokeback Mountain

Best Actor, Drama
Russell Crowe, Cinderella Man
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Terence Howard, Hustle and Flow
Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
David Strathairn, Good Night, and Good Luck

Best Actor, Musical/Comedy
Peirce Brosnan, The Matador
Jeff Daniels, The Squid and the Whale
Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Nathan Lane, The Producers
Cillian Murphy,Breakfast on Pluto
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line

Best Actress, Musical/Comedy
Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson Presents
Keira Knightley, Pride & Prejudice
Laura Linney, Squid and the Whale
Sarah Jessica Parker, The Family Stone
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

Best Actress, Drama
Maria Bello, A History of Violence
Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof
Charlize Theron, North Country
Ziyi Zhang, Memoirs of a Geisha

Best Supporting Actress
Scarlett Johannsson, Match Point
Shirley MacLaine, In Her Shoes
Frances McDormand, North Country
Rachel Weisz, Contant Gardener
Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

Best Supporting Actor
George Clooney, Syriana
Matt Dillon, Crash
Wil Farrell, The Producers
Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man
Bob Hoskins, Mrs. Henderson Presents

Best Foreign Language Film
Kung Fu Hustle
The Promise
Merry Christmas
Paradise Now
Tsotsi

Best Original Score
Alexandre Desplat - Syriana
James Newton Howard - King Kong
Gustavo Santaolalla - Brokeback Mountain
Harry Gregson - The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
John Williams - Memoirs Of A Geisha


Best Original Song
"A Love That Will Never Grow Old" -- Brokeback Mountain
Music By: Gustavo Santaolalla
Lyrics By: Bernie Taupin

"Christmas In Love" - Christmas In Love
Music By: Tony Renis
Lyrics By: Marva Jan Marrow

"There's Nothing Like A Show On Broadway" - The Producers
Music & Lyrics By: Mel Brooks

"Travelin' Thru" - Transamerica
Music & Lyrics By: Dolly Parton

"Wunderkind" - The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
Music & Lyrics By: Alanis Morissette


Best Television Series - Drama
Commander In Chief
Grey's Anatomy
Lost
Prison Break
Rome

Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series - Drama
Patricia Arquette - Medium
Glenn Close - The Shield
Geena Davis - Commander In Chief
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer
Polly Walker - Rome

Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series - Drama
Patrick Dempsey - Grey's Anatomy
Matthew Fox - Lost
Hugh Laurie - House
Wentworth Miller - Prison Break
Kiefer Sutherland - 24

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
Everybody Hates Chris
My Name Is Earl
Weeds

Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Marcia Cross - Desperate Housewives
Teri Hatcher - Desperate Housewives
Felicity Huffman - Desperate Housewives
Eva Longoria - Desperate Housewives
Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Zach Braff - Scrubs
Steve Carell - The Office
Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm
Jason Lee - My Name Is Earl
Charlie Sheen - Two And A Half Men

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Empire Falls
Into The West
Lackawanna Blues
Sleeper Viva Blackpool
Warm Springs

Best Performance By An Actress In A Mini-Series Or A Motion Picture Made For Television
Halle Berry - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Kelly Macdonald - The Girl In The Café
S. Epatha Merkerson - Lackawanna Blues
Cynthia Nixon - Warm Springs
Mira Sorvino - Human Trafficking

Best Performance By An Actor In A Mini-Series Or A Motion Picture Made For Television
Kenneth Branagh - Warm Springs
Ed Harris - Empire Falls
Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Elvis
Bill Nighy - The Girl In The Café
Donald Sutherland - Human Trafficking

Best Performance By An Actress In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Candice Bergen - Boston Legal
Camryn Manheim - Elvis
Sandra Oh - Grey's Anatomy
Elizabeth Perkins - Weeds
Joanne Woodward - Empire Falls

Best Performance By An Actor In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television
Naveen Andrews - Lost
Paul Newman - Empire Falls
Jeremy Piven - Entourage
Randy Quaid - Elvis
Donald Sutherland - Commander In Chief

24

Premieres tonight.

CBS Tries to make you watch commercials

But CBS, you forgot that NBC tried this once and it didn't work out very well.
CBS is prepping for the launch of a new series -- a series you may not have heard anything about, and if you're not really careful, you could miss it altogether. The Courier is called a microseries - that is the episodes are less than a minute long and will air nightly during the 9pm commercial break, beginning January 24, according to the Wall Street Journal. The Courier is about a man desperately trying to rescue his
kidnapped wife by trying to figure out various clues while working against the clock. The show will be sponsored by GM's Pontiac Torrent SUV, which will also be prominently featured in the spots. Additionally, CBS will show the episodes on its website, and will make it available to your mobile. The goal of this series is obvious -
getting viewers to sit through the commercial break, with the added incentive of returning nightly.

[Source: Cynthia's Cynopsis]

The Squid & The Whale

This film boasts some of the best writing and ensemble acting you'll see all year. Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney are fantastic. The actors who play their children are devastating. (In case you're wondering, this movie is about a particularly nasty divorce... kind of like Kramer vs. Kramer.) The problem with this movie is the ending. There isn't one. And that is the one thing that frustrates me most about a great movie... when it just stops without any resolution.

I'm planning to rent this and listen to the audio commentary. Maybe that will shed some light on the thinking behind the movie.

Friday, January 13

Fuck Fox

I'm serious. They are trying to ruin my life. I think I'll take all their shows off my Season Pass on Tivo. Here is how they are saying goodbye to Arrested Development:

Fox: February 10th, they're giving it a "Special Two Hour Finale."

Interpretation: They're dumping the final four episodes in one night - a FRIDAY NIGHT (the second least watched night on TV) - that happens to be the same night NBC is airing the Olympic opening ceremonies.

That is a shame. Shame, shame, shame. Why didn't Fox just move the sitcom to FX? You know that the viewers are loyal, and FX hasn't produced a comedy worth a damn yet. Seems like a win-win to me. I guess Fox doesn't see it that way. Maybe ABC or Showtime will.

Simpson Knocked Around

Looks like Jessica has a shiner. Hmmmm... wonder what that is all about?

Looky Here

Blow Out

Coming back in March. Look for lots of tears and general jerk-a-tude.

Give It A Rest!

Is anyone else sick and tired of the ridiculous news reports about Jen-Brad-Angelina? Does Jen know about the baby? Did Brad call her? How is Angelina's "bump" progressing? How will they tell her two adopted children about the new baby? Hell, CNN even had a poll posted which asked if "you were happy for them" or not. WTF? Does anyone care? Not me and seriously doubt any of our 2 readers do either.

My Tivo

I'm catching up.

Desperate Housewives - Nice little episode. Probably the best of the season, at least as far as intrigue goes. It was nice to see the five main housewives spend a little time together, coming up with theories and gossiping!

Will & Grace - This show has been grating lately, but this episode had me laughing the entire time. The actors are obviously talented, but the live aspect brought a lot of energy and (dare I say it) realism to this show. Plus, the writing is still wicked. They should do even more live shows.

The Office/Earl - Best hour of comedy on TV (not including back-to-back episodes of Arrested Development).

Monk

This is a show that I have no interest in ever seeing, but maybe some of you watch it. Anyways, USA has ordered 2 more seasons of this show.

Taken: Nine Lives

For the Sci Fi Channel, produced by Spielberg (like Taken was), this will explore what happens to us when we die, and how people deal with death. This was obviously the theme of Six Feet Under, but this sounds a little bit more fantastical than 6FU.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

It will return to Bravo in October.

10 Days That Unexpectedly Changed America

A 10-part series on The History Channel. Each part will be created by a different director. Cool idea.

Another Reason to Listen to NPR

Ted Koppel is joining NPR, providing analysis, commentary and perspective. This will make my 10 minutes commute even more enjoyable!

Bush

I just listened to his press conference on NPR. The man knows 40 words. It's maddening!

Thursday, January 12

Lost Thoughts

What an episode. I have a few thoughts:

-Is the black smoke covering something else up? (Like, was it something else looking at Eko, but covered in black smoke?)

-How the hell did Eko and his brother both end up on the island through plane crashes? Is there a connection? (I heard that this season will reveal how the plane crashed.)

- Why was Claire wearing so much makeup?

- There was an episode in the first season where Locke must have encountered the black smoke the same way Eko did. Which means the writers must know what they're doing (thank God).

- We shall call it "The Black Cloud of Judgement" from now on.

New JJ Abrams

ABC has ordered the pilot for Six Degrees from J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot and Touchstone TV. The show is a dramatization of the six degrees theory - a group of unrelated people in New York City, and how their lives criss-cross.

The Diary of Alicia Keyes

Coming to the UPN. A drama based on her life. Blah.

A&E

I never watch this channel, but they might have some good stuff:

A Guy Walks into a Bar is a 30m sketch comedy project with George Wendt and comedian George Gray.

Commander Castle is a 30m reality series focused on a British police consultant and his particular, if not peculiar teaching techniques.

Driving Force is a 30m reality show current in production, and at the center is dragster John Force and his daughters. This project will likely get to air this summer.

God or the Girl is a reality series about four guys who must decide between marriage or monestary where they will train to become Roman Catholic priests. Currently in production, this show is slated to air during Easter week.

Finally a Family is a reality show about adoption, with a particular focus on two sets of parents who are both in the midst of the adoption process - the twist is they're both going after the same child.

Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, already in production, is a 30m reality series about Simmons and his family.

King of Cars, also in production and scheduled to premiere in March, is a 30m reality show about a Las Vegas car dealer and his whacked out infomercials that have made him a local success

Polar Posse, a 30m realty project about a team of firefighters and EMS volunteers in Alaska.

Lost Recap 2

From Television Without Pity:

Mister Eko's in flashbacks this week, and we watch him as a young lad making a violent decision to save his brother. Naturally, as the two grow up, they become polar opposites: Eko's a murderous drug lord, and his brother, Yemi, becomes a priest. Eko tries to extort some assistance from Father Yemi -- it involves Eko and his crew posing as priests and smuggling heroin in statues of the Virgin Mary (wonder what that has to do with the island). Yemi brings in the military in an ultimately fatal attempt to save his brother (Yemi, good Catholic that he is, carries some guilt from his brother's sacrifice all those years ago). Yemi gets shot and winds up on the plane with Eko's crew, who hightail it, leaving Eko sprawled on the tarmac. When the military mistakes Eko for Yemi, Eko smoothly begins his life of piety (maybe -- he quotes the 23rd Psalm, but big deal. Even Coolio knows that, and he doesn't preach much beyond getting your woman on the floor).

On the island, Eko discovers Charlie's Lady of Perpetual Tied-Off Arms, and forces Charlie to take him to the plane, where Eko finds his brother's long dead and desiccated corpse. Eko also manages to stare down Lostzilla, which is that black cloud, more fully defined than we've seen it to date, with holograms or hallucinations or something, barely visible inside it. Oh, and Claire knows about Charlie's heroin now, and she ain't happy. And she didn't even see him whining and making excuses for his behaviour all throughout the episode. She'd be even less pleased to know that Charlie has a whole stash of backup Virgin Marys.

Michael gets some rifle-training from Locke, in between chat sessions with his son, which could yet turn out to be hallucinations of his addled brain.

Looking forward to episodes referencing the 4th, 8th, 15th, 16th, and 42nd Psalms, that's for sure.

Lost Recap

From EW:

Every month EW will turn to our shadowy operative inside the world of Lost for insight. Burn this when you're done. The truth is out there.

We have looked into the face of The Monster and have seen The Abyss — cinematically speaking. Lost's Jan. 11 episode finally gave us a body shot of the show's man-chomping, peek-a-boo boogey-beast. Meet Smokey: a billowing coil of seemingly sentient black haze, a shadowy cousin to the morphing, mind-reading ETs of James Cameron's sci-fi opus. The Abyss allusion could be instructive, though I doubt it's pointing us toward an extraterrestrial explanation of the island.

Think thematically. In the movie, the aliens were so alarmed by mankind's potential for self-destruction, they resorted to drastic measures — the threat of annihilation by tidal wave — to save us. On Lost, we've learned that the island has been/is host to gonzo experiments funded by Alvar Hanso, a munitions mogul/philanthropist dedicated to ''a brighter future for all humanity.'' My theory? Twilight Zone Isle is being used by Hanso's Dharma Initiative as a sort of human recycling plant, designed to to either rehabilitate damaged, fallen people — or junk them.

Smokey is a sophisticated piece of machinery in this soul-crunching refinery. Its function: quality control. Kinda like another cult-pop alien, the Marvel Comics scourge Galactus. Apparently, the planet-chomping leviathan (also telepathic) serves an elusive celestial purpose. He might be the embodiment of random catastrophe — an essential Lost theme. Yet he might also exist to test the mettle of living beings. Fend him off; you deserve to live. If you can't, you don't. Chomp!

But back to Lost: During Smokey's stare-down with Mr. Eko, the monster appeared to scan the former Nigerian warlord's personal history, then retreated instead of eviscerating him. Why? Because the Born Again Eko was deemed worthy. (For now, at least.) But I could be wrong. After all, we're talking about a creature made of smog and reflective properties — in other words, smoke and mirrors.

Wednesday, January 11

She's Scary Looking!

Whitney Houston

Good For A Laugh

Gallery Of The Absurd

What's That Bulge In Your Pants?

New Levi's

LOST: Insider Scoop

Tonight:

The CREATURE (security system) is seen again and it approaches Eko gets up close and personal. He doesn’t budge. The smoke (security system) somehow analizes Eko you can see flash images of his past in the smoke there are several images and they are faint and go by quickly.

Dad of four… this epi is not gory but eko does slash a couple of throats and as a boy he shoots a man. Yes, Mr. EKO is the drug dealer. His brother was a real priest on the plane that went down.

The only other significant thing that really happens is that it appears that Charlie is still hooked on the heroin. He keeps a stash hidden out in the jungle.


--all rumor... no way for me to verify, but still worth posting.

Mr. Ecko

My guess: he's a cannibal.

The Lacheys

This is fucked up. I have no idea if this is true or not:

NICK SUES JESSICA FOR ENDING MARRIAGE THREE MONTHS BEFORE CONTRACT ENDED

According to court documents, Nick Lachey has sued estranged spouse Jessica Simpson for ending their marriage three months before the pair contractually agreed to stay together.

“Mr. Lachey signed over to Ms. Simpson all royalties from ’98 Degrees’ songs, his appearance on an MTV reality show to promote her albums and perfume line, and his soul in exchange for 41 months of marriage that would keep him in the public spotlight,” wrote Lachey’s attorney. “The couple has been married only 38 months and Ms. Simpson is in violation of the contract, ending the union early.”

In a written response, Simpson’s lawyers argued that since Lachey would continue to receive publicity until the divorce is official in several months, she is still fulfilling her contractual obligations.

“I hope Katie Holmes is paying attention to this,” said one source close to Lachey. “These Hollywood stars feel free to play fast and loose with marriage contracts and they think they have so much power you can’t do anything about it. The lack of morals sickens me.”

[Source: Dateline Hollywood]

LOST: 12 hours!

Brangeletus

Brad & Angelina are expecting.

Worst Dressed Women

Britney Tops List

Tuesday, January 10

All Lost, All The Time

From E!'s Kristin:

First up is this week's Eko-centric episode, The 23rd Psalm, in which we see a whole new side of the seemingly gentle giant. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje says, "Eko has been pretty mysterious up until now, which I've loved playing, actually. Less is certainly more in my opinion, but you're about to get more. [We're] gonna unveil the mystery behind Mr. Eko. Episode 2.10, his flashback, reveals much of why he acts like he acts and basically where he comes from. Because he's quite a dynamic character, you're gonna get a lot more action and a lot more intrigue." And from what I hear, lordy, lordy, he is anything but what he seems (and, yes, that is a hint).

In the next episode, our beloved Foxy promises we'll also get more answers to Jack's mysteries. "Most recently we found out about the miracle that happened between [Jack and his wife Sarah] and how that led to him marrying her. Obviously we know that the Jack Shephard on the island is a man who is no longer married and is even a little reticent to talk about that part of his life. The obvious questions: What happened to that love, and what does that mean to Jack? So, that will be very intensely covered in the second episode of 2006."

And we won't have to wait much longer to find out whether or not Charlie will fall off the wagon with all that Virgin Mary-encased heroin he's found. Dominic Monaghan says, "We're gonna jump into some pretty Charlie-centric stories involving his struggle with the drugs on the island, and the fact that he feels in some way he's losing his grip on his relationship with Claire and also with the baby, which sends Charlie down a kind of one-way street. He's kind of on his way to self-destruction."

Meanwhile, it seems the cast is still settling in to having the "tailies" on board. "It's very strange, very strange," Naveen Andrews (Sayid) says of having the new cast around. "You know, it's like two groups of cattle sort of sizing each other up. Or a herd of animals. You see a new animal, everybody tenses up when the new animal comes in."

And for the record, despite what silly little Teddypants may speculate about Naveen and Maggie Grace (Shannon), I can assure you they are nothing but friends. However, clearly, they are close. When asked what it's like to work with such a big cast, he says, "We're used to the fact that there are, like, thirteen or fourteen main characters, but I think the hardest thing is, difficult as this may be to believe, actors do have feelings. And you know, when you build a relationship with your fellow actor, say like with Maggie, and the character is killed, for want of a better term, it's very sad, and it's not easy to cope with, you know, because you don't feel it should've happened." It's so Sayid-like of him, no, to have her back?

The L Word

I'm not a huge fan of this show or anything, but I watched it with a friend of mine on Sunday night. The show was SO BAD! Seriously, like Lifetime Movie of the Week bad. Whoever plays Alice might as well be named Amy Sedaris. The acting, the writing, the cheesy shaky camera car chase filmmaking, all bad bad bad.

Mr. Ecko

What is his deal? Guesses?

Kristin Breaks It Down for Us

Jan. 9: The Bachelor, How I Met Your Mother, Jake in Progress, Las Vegas
Jan. 10: Commander in Chief, Gilmore Girls, House, The Shield
Jan. 11: Lost
Jan. 12: Beauty and the Geek, The O.C., Smallville
Jan. 13: Monk
Jan. 15: 24, Grey's Anatomy
Jan. 17: American Idol
Jan. 25: Bones, Veronica Mars
Feb. 21: The Real World
Mar. 1: Top Model
Mar. 2: Alias
Mar. 12: The Sopranos
Mar. 16: Everwood
Mar. 20: Prison Break

Arrested

No news is good news. Fox still hasn't cancelled. Second thoughts???

And according to last week's episode, "HBO won't want us." "Then it's showtime!" Brilliantly hilarious writing on this show. Fox is a moron.

Alias

I've been vocal about my love/hate relationship with this show. It's back to LOVE, mainly because Michael Vartan will be back for several episodes, as well as FRANCIE!!! And I'm thinking Melissa George may be back, as well. Hot! Now if they can just get Bradley Cooper back. Oh yeah, and mommy's back, too! This show is so fucking great.

"Funny" (Gay) Comedy

Logo has ordered a new sketch comedy show from executive producers Rosie O'Donnell, Dan MacDonald and Joe De Hierro, called Simply Sketch. They call it an irreverent comedy show for the LGBT audience.

Logo's got some good stuff going on (especially Wonder Falls!).

Monday, January 9

Where the Wild Things Are

Imagine the film version directed by Spike Jonze. Now imagine that becoming a reality. Wish granted. Badass!

Phantom

Phantom of the Opera will become the longest running musical on Broadway tonight. In other news, who cares?

And in musical news people should care about, Tim Burton is now going to direct Stephen Sondheim's (brilliant) Sweeney Todd musical. And Johnny Depp is going to play the barber that kills his customers. Wonder who will play Mrs. Lovett, the woman who puts the bodies in her meat pies? Yummy!

Lachey Laire For Sale

The five-bedroom, 6,500 square-foot Mediterranean-style house, which includes an infinity pool, a screening room and a music studio, is being listed by Kay Cole of Sotheby’s International for $3.75 million.

Country Boys

From Reality Blurred:

Many of us watch reality TV because it’s outrageously fun to watch a bunch of twits clamor for camera time while trying to navigate some outrageous artificial situation. At the same time, reality television is a window into the lives of others and the world around us, and that forms a significant part of its appeal.

Because of that, starting today, reality blurred will devote occasional coverage to noteworthy (emphasis on the worthy) documentaries in film and on television, specifically those that, like reality TV, present an entertaining story about real people in interesting or extraordinary situations or circumstances. And it was, after all, a 12-episode documentary, PBS’ An American Family, that gave birth to reality television as we know it.

Tonight, PBS debuts a three-part Frontline documentary Country Boys. It follows “Chris Johnson and Cody Perkins, two boys coming of age in the Appalachian hills of Floyd County in eastern Kentucky,” according to PBS’ synopsis. David Sutherland, whose documentary The Farmer’s Wife was critically acclaimed, followed the two for three years to produce the film.

Cody’s “mother’s postpartum suicide left the infant boy in the care of his father, who, 12 years later, killed his seventh wife before turning the gun on himself. Bounced around among relatives he barely knew, Cody eventually chose to live with his former step-grandmother,” while Chris “lives in a rundown trailer in a Kentucky ‘holler’ with his mother, Sheila, a high school dropout who cleans hotel rooms for a living, and his father, Randall, an alcoholic with terminal cirrhosis of the liver” and he “supports the family financially with the monthly Social Security disability check he receives for his learning disorders.”

And we think the kids on The Real World have problems.

The three two-hour parts air tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday, most likely starting at 9 p.m. ET (check local listings), thankfully giving much of the country an alternative to The Bachelor 9.

The Bachelor

Premieres tonight at 10pm on ABC. Yawn.

I will not be watching. I will not be watching. I will not be watching.

The Awful Truth

-----I almost hate to post this, but.... it's my duty to report all gossip.

Woebegone word from Texas--where a lotta folks seem to be from, including Lance, the Brothers Wilson, Renée Zellweger, Liz Smith, my old high school alumna Angie Harmon, etc.--is that Lance gave Sheryl the heave-ho right before Xmas.

Talk about X not marking the spot. Heavens, how hideous. "He was a cad," remarked one of Lance's relatives, regarding the seven-time Tour de France winner's reported dumping of glitzy rocker-babe Crow. "And Lance's family is trying to get him to change his mind; that's why [the news] hasn't gotten out yet."

I do not, at this point, know the reason for the supposed split. But let's get real. Everybody knows Mr. A., noble cancer survivor he may be, not only busted up with S.C. a time or two before, he also left his wife and young family before hooking up with Crow. Reps for both celebs did not comment.

Oh, and also, not to rain on everybody's poo-poo parade, but remember I did predict ages ago this somewhat odd (albeit most interesting) couple would not head down the aisle together. I do remember, with piercing accuracy, those e-darts and daggers shot my way when Lance and Sheryl's engagement was announced last September. Regardless, you two cuties, sorry it didn't work out this time. And I do hope that I'm wrong in the end and you fix things up. Mean it, love ya, don't ever change!

DWTS

From TVGasm:

It really won't surprise anybody to learn that Kenny Mayne was eliminated from Dancing With the Stars last night. To his credit, he had a very good attitude about it, blaming the Italian judge, and imploring people not to riot if he was eliminated. I still think Master P. should have been eliminated, if only because he didn't seem at all interested in performing, but to his credit, he said that he would practice and put in a better performance, which means he may actually practice. One couldn't help but wonder if the fans voted for Master P in order to keep Ashly Delgrosso around for another week, because Master P's promise of the gangster cha cha didn't live up to the hype. Maybe with his new found enthusiasm, he'll wear some gangster frills or some gangster sequins. Hey, it never hurts to dream.

Desperate Housewives

I just can't decide if I like this show anymore. It seems awfully tired and lacking freshness and creativity. For a show that is only in its second season, I really expect more.

Aquaman

=

Will Toale

Anyone know who he is?

Next Survivor

(Sorry if Jen covered this already...)

The next edition of CBS' Survivor will launch on February 2. This one is called Survivor: Panama - Exile Island, and will, naturally, have an all new twist to it. According to Variety, this time there will be four tribes, not just two, and they will be divvied up by age and sex. After a few weeks, the tribes will merge into just two. The list of players is expected to be announced today.

New Season Premieres

Tonight on ABC, check out Emily's Reasons Why Not (cute, but not must-see), Jake in Progress (returning from an okay season last year) and The Bachelor: Paris.

Yahoo! Go TV

Yahoo! Go TV is another new television program for computers... it will link your TV and computer and pretty much act as a Tivo. The moment when TV and the PC collide is upon us...

By the way, I read a great book about advertising called "Life After the 30-Second Spot," and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in pop culture.

Google Video

No one knows quite what to expect, but it should rival iPod for content... NBC, CBS, films from independent filmmakers, etc. Keep checking at http://video.google.com to see when it goes live (Google won't say when it opens).

Friday, January 6

Directors Guild Nominees

George Clooney - Good Night, And Good Luck
Paul Haggis - Crash
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Bennett Miller - Capote
Steven Spielberg - Munich

Damnit, I need to see Capote and Good Night. I agree with the other three, especially Munich.

More Deadwood

Season Three hasn't even come to air, but HBO has already ordered Season Four. My dad's gonna be happy!! (My mom... not so much. She doesn't like the word cocksucker as much as my dad does.)

The Real Housewives of Orange County

This is a new show for Bravo. If you know anything about The O.C., you'll know that this should be entertaining.

Book of Daniel

What is the deal with this show? AND what is the deal with people who have way too much time on their hands and write letters to networks about shows they probably haven't even seen?

Thursday, January 5

Four Kings

You know, this isn't the greatest show, but I saw the pilot and it was mildly entertaining. I'm going to watch it tonight, along with W&G, The Office and Earl. I think NBC is on to something with their new Thursday night line up. And can I tell you how happy I am that they are not only keeping The Office on the air, but they moved it to Thursday?!

Dancing With The Stars

--Rev up the Tivo's kids!! Not only does DWTS premiere tonight, but it's up against Earl, Office and CSI. Lots of good stuff to watch!


ABC kicks off a second season of Dancing with the Stars tonight at 8 p.m. ET with a two-hour premiere. After audience voting tonight, the losing team will be revealed on a half-hour results show that will air Friday at 8.

Ten teams, each comprised of a celebrity and a person who actually knows how to dance, will compete. According to odds posted by Pinnacle Sports, Stacy Keibler is the 2/1 favorite to win. A press release says that the site has “Tia Carrere with the second best odds to win the competition at 7/1, closely followed by fellow actress Lisa Rinna at 15/2. Famously tanned actor George Hamilton currently stands at 9/1 to win the competition after opening with the second best odds of 5/1 last week.”

The show faces off against a repeat of CSI, which should help its numbers somewhat, but also faces competition from NBC’s new Thursday lineup, which tonight features new episodes of My Name is Earl and The Office in the 9:00 hour. Dancing’s fall dance-off performed poorly in the ratings compared to the summer show, so we’ll see if people care about ballroom dancing D-list celebrities when there are other shows on TV.

Federletus Part Deux?

Britney wants another baby — with the same daddy. Despite the widely reported woes in the marriage between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Spears is eager to give their son Sean Preston a sibling — “the sooner the better” — according to In Touch Weekly. “Britney was advised to wait at least three months after her baby’s birth before trying to get pregnant again,” a “friend” told the mag. “Now that that’s passed, she wants to try right away.”

Spears reportedly is hoping for a girl this time around, and is actually thinking that another baby will help smooth out her rocky relationship with Federline. “She is hoping another baby will strengthen her marriage to Kevin,” another friend told the mag.

TomKat Watch

Hold off on buying that first edition of "Dianetics" as a wedding present for Tom Cruise and his pregnant fiancée, Katie Holmes. The buzz is that the engagement of the happy couple has hit a few bumps and, after reportedly tense holidays spent at Holmes’ house, wedding plans may have been put on hold.

With a new year beginning, Cruise “decided to take the opportunity to mend fences with the family of his fiancée, Katie Holmes,” according to the upcoming issue of Life & Style Weekly. It didn’t go so well. “Tom and Katie ended up leaving — three days earlier than planned,” according to a “close friend” of Cruise. “Katie was in tears, but that’s standard when it comes to dealing with family matters and Tom.” A spokesman for Cruise denies the story, but there have been previous reports that Holmes’ lawyer father is not thrilled with the prospects of the two getting hitched.

“My honest opinion is that the wedding’s not going to happen,” a “friend of the couple” told the mag. “Neither one of them seems as enthusiastic as they once did about marriage.”

Oscars

Jon Stewart is hosting. Dope.

Wednesday, January 4

Midseason

It's time for new shows to begin airing on the networks! (And about time, at that. Have you noticed how empty your "To Do" list is on Tivo? Sad!)

Let me know what you watch and what you think!

Rumblings...

The WB is going to go dark. The network has been struggling for years. It could easily sell its still-valuable programs (there are a couple, like Gilmore Girls) to the other networks, just like it sold Friends to NBC.

Keep an eye on it. Could be interesting.

Sports on iPod

Disney will put its sports properties on iTunes. I don't really care (personally), but Jen... now you'll be able to watch ABC and ESPN on your iPod!

Tuesday, January 3

Munich

I don't know if this is accurate (I have to do a full accounting of 2005), but this may be the best film of the year. Not an easy one to watch, and the ending is nasty as all hell. Easily Spielberg's most pesimistic film, not a damn glimmer of hope. This is the anti-Schindler's List. It is also a tense thriller, amazingly shot (no one works a camera like Steven) and perfectly acted. You must see this important film.

Running With Scissors

Maybe my favorite book ever. The trailer looks fantastic.

How 'Bout Those Buckeyes!!!!

Swayze Crazy?

In what's surely the scariest development of the young new year, allhiphop.com reports that "Dirty Dancing" star Patrick Swayze wants to release a rap single. The actor, who had a massive hit in 1987 with "She's Like the Wind," told the site he's working on a new tune which will show that "rap rhythms [are] an emotional undercurrent for ballads." Swayze is no stranger to keepin' it real - he starred in Ja Rule's video for "Reign" - but didn't have a "timeline" for when his foray into hip-hop would be released.

--WTF????

Seacrest: In!

Ryan Seacrest has finalized his rumored deal with E! to produce and host shows for the cable network.

According to People magazine, “The new deal, which is said to cover approximately three years, calls for Seacrest to executive produce the network’s Live from the Red Carpet awards-show coverage, starting with the Jan. 16 Golden Globes Awards. In addition, he will serve as managing editor of E! News; will produce and host celebrity interview specials; act as tower host of red-carpet shows; and start—in March—as lead anchor E! News.”

All of that is in addition to hosting American Top 40 and doing his morning talk show in LA. Oh, and hosting American Idol 5. For all of this, he’ll be paid $21 million over three years.

--can you say over-exposed? i'm tired of him already

Delta

Don't ever fly Delta. I'm surprised they are aware they are flying planes. They are outrageously incompetent. It took me about 16 hours to fly from Columbus to Los Angeles. Granted, there was weather problems in Atlanta (my connection), but that doesn't excuse them for losing both of my bags.