Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin today launched an attack on his record label EMI and the company's shareholders. It came after EMI, the world's third-largest music company, warned that profits would be lower because the band took longer than expected to finish their first studio album in three years.
But as Coldplay prepared for a concert in New York to promote their new album, called X&Y, Martin said: "I don't really care about EMI. I'm not really concerned about that. "I think shareholders are the great evil of this modern world." Martin told reporters at Manhattan's Beacon Theatre that the band was uncomfortable that they sell so many albums they can affect a major corporation's stock price. (EVENING STANDARD, UK)
Wednesday, May 18
Chris Martin = Cool
This guy's a badass, and not just because he named his daughter Apple:
Star Wars
Okay, I either live under a rock or I've been at work until midnight too much recently. I thought there was at least a month to go.... but apparently Star Wars comes out tonight at MIDNIGHT! I should've known when I saw George Lucas on The O.C.
I Talked To Bo!!!
OMG! I called to vote for Bo last night and he THANKED me for calling and voting for him. I think I might die..... squeeeeeeee!
Monday, May 16
Survive This!
The short version: Tom won!
Here's the recap from EW:
We all knew it was inevitable that, barring his losing an immunity challenge, Tom would end up winning this season of Survivor. It was as certain as the fact that the scribble boards to this article will be choked with cries of ''Where's Dalton?'' (He was at the live finale, rubbing shoulders with the cast members and trying to figure out how Caryn turned into Sharon Stone for the reunion show, so let's move on.)
But what I didn't see coming was just how easy Katie would make it for Tom. Her entire campaign platform was ''Vote for me! I was useless and lazy, but at least I knew whose ass to affix myself to like a barnacle.'' In her opening remarks, she made the nonexistent distinction that it wasn't that she skated by: No, what happened is she had made the strategic choice to let two stronger players carry her through. In other words, it's not that she didn't deserve to win; it was that it was her strategy not to deserve to win: Ergo, she deserved to win.
Perhaps — just perhaps — this theory would have worked if she had ended up against someone not in her original alliance, say, Caryn or Coby. Then she could at least brag of outsmarting those who brought her along. But how is it supposed to win people over when you say, ''I sucked as a competitor, but I stayed alive by hopping on the back of a great, talented competitor. See the guy to my right? Yeah, that's the guy.'' To be fair, that's kind of how Tina beat Colby in Australia, but at least she cooked occasionally and wasn't an alienating pain in the ass.
We all knew Katie was going to lose as soon as we saw only two votes cast at tribal council: They usually show as many as they can all the way up to a tie to make it seem as close as possible before the reveal. But the only one they had to show was Coby's, with his nonsensical, bitter rantings about honesty. (How did Tom ever screw him over, anyway, other than by not picking him for his alliance in the beginning, thus rekindling a thousand horrific kickball memories?) I find it a little difficult to get emotional over new daddy Coby's cathartic Survivor experience — no matter how badly Jeff Probst urged the audience to — considering how weaselly he was during the game. One minute he was weeping that no one treated him kindly growing up, and the next he was making bitchy, personal slams about everyone else in the game. And then there was his euphoric self-delusion: From the moment he was kicked off through the finale, he incessantly repeated how flattered he was to be a threat, even though it seemed more that he was booted because he was annoying. But it was as if repeating that he was a power player made it so for Coby. So if you're ever stuck in a room with Coby and desperate to get away, just appeal to his ego: ''Coby, I'd love to stay and talk, but I'm worried you'll win the conversation.''
While the tribal-council winner was never in question, the road from four players to two was quite an unpredictable ride. It's been painful watching Ian self-destruct; he wanted so badly to be a tricky player, but that desire was always trumped by his need to be liked. I respected the guy up until the past two episodes, when he was moved to spastic, arm-flailing histrionics whenever Katie or Tom would tsk-tsk him for his alliance switching. (And why, right up to the end, did he never point out that holier-than-thou Katie had flipped on him even before he flipped on her?) It all led up to his quitting after nearly 12 hours of standing on a pole, just so he can say he has two buddies for life. What the hell does he need two more friends for? The Chevy SSR only seats two, so if he won that, he'd only have room for one pal anyway.
(I'd like to take a second to address the SSR spotlight, if I may. Instead of attacking Howard Stern, could the FCC focus its energy on something more offensive on the air, like Mark Burnett's ever-growing product-placement greed? We usually hear about the prize car at the end of the show, but this time we got an extra sneak peek on the island, with footage of the starving final four oohing and aahing over the car as if it were made out of meat. This overblown reaction was even more foolish coming a week after Ian won a Corvette, which was a hell of a car. Now how are they supposed to get jazzed about a lemon-colored monstrosity that is 75 percent trunk space? The only good thing I can say for it is that it's the ultimate sporty ride for the man who wants to impress his date but also needs to move his piano.)
I'm sure that there are some people out there who think that Ian did the right thing. These are the same people who think that Titanic would have been a better movie if the ship hadn't sunk. This is a game show with one winner. It is the very definition of the show that someone is going to have to hurt someone else. It is not constructed to be a parable on ethics, and if it was, it would be incredibly dull. These players already have friends and family at home, and if they don't backstab them, they're doing just fine in the morals department. If you want to see someone win a million bucks by doing the right thing, try to find a game where contestants try to find the best cure for cancer, but stay away from TV.
Yes, Ian probably felt good about his decision, but in about a month, when he's sleeping in the storage closet of the Philadelphia aquarium on a bed fashioned out of penguin feed, having just finished a meal of fried minnows that his dolphins had spit back at him for being too small, and Katie hasn't called him back because his bowl haircut won't really fly with her Madison Avenue friends, maybe he'll rethink that decision. Especially when he loses his job because none of the dolphins will obey him anymore because they watched the show, too, and are thinking, ''Why should I do tricks for a schmuck who gave up a million bucks just so a fireman will teach him how to slide down a pole?''
As for the reunion show, there were the usual physical surprises: Caryn had her makeover, Gregg had metamorphosed into C. Thomas Howell, and a long winter had downgraded Stephenie's tan from midnight black to a mere skin-cancer brown. And then there were the shocking revelations, like Ibrehem disclosing that he learned from the loud Jolanda's ousting that he shouldn't show a strong personality, even though Ibrehem couldn't have mustered a strong personality if you hypnotized him into thinking he was Jenny McCarthy.
And then there was the moment that Jeff Probst meant to be uplifting, but managed to make viewers feel bad about America in two unintended ways: When discussing Coby's fabled victory over James on the raft battle, he asked James if his Alabama steelworker buddies gave him any crap at the plant for losing to a homosexual. James revealed that he was actually now unemployed, but that yes, his old pals did tease him. So there you have it, people: Our nation's workers can't get a job, but at least they're homophobic. Add that to the fact that America's auto companies are struggling, and their solution is to design misshapen jalopies like the SSR. The pride is . . . back?
Oh well, at least our nation still rules the world in wacko singing teachers. Take us out, Wanda!
Here's the recap from EW:
We all knew it was inevitable that, barring his losing an immunity challenge, Tom would end up winning this season of Survivor. It was as certain as the fact that the scribble boards to this article will be choked with cries of ''Where's Dalton?'' (He was at the live finale, rubbing shoulders with the cast members and trying to figure out how Caryn turned into Sharon Stone for the reunion show, so let's move on.)
But what I didn't see coming was just how easy Katie would make it for Tom. Her entire campaign platform was ''Vote for me! I was useless and lazy, but at least I knew whose ass to affix myself to like a barnacle.'' In her opening remarks, she made the nonexistent distinction that it wasn't that she skated by: No, what happened is she had made the strategic choice to let two stronger players carry her through. In other words, it's not that she didn't deserve to win; it was that it was her strategy not to deserve to win: Ergo, she deserved to win.
Perhaps — just perhaps — this theory would have worked if she had ended up against someone not in her original alliance, say, Caryn or Coby. Then she could at least brag of outsmarting those who brought her along. But how is it supposed to win people over when you say, ''I sucked as a competitor, but I stayed alive by hopping on the back of a great, talented competitor. See the guy to my right? Yeah, that's the guy.'' To be fair, that's kind of how Tina beat Colby in Australia, but at least she cooked occasionally and wasn't an alienating pain in the ass.
We all knew Katie was going to lose as soon as we saw only two votes cast at tribal council: They usually show as many as they can all the way up to a tie to make it seem as close as possible before the reveal. But the only one they had to show was Coby's, with his nonsensical, bitter rantings about honesty. (How did Tom ever screw him over, anyway, other than by not picking him for his alliance in the beginning, thus rekindling a thousand horrific kickball memories?) I find it a little difficult to get emotional over new daddy Coby's cathartic Survivor experience — no matter how badly Jeff Probst urged the audience to — considering how weaselly he was during the game. One minute he was weeping that no one treated him kindly growing up, and the next he was making bitchy, personal slams about everyone else in the game. And then there was his euphoric self-delusion: From the moment he was kicked off through the finale, he incessantly repeated how flattered he was to be a threat, even though it seemed more that he was booted because he was annoying. But it was as if repeating that he was a power player made it so for Coby. So if you're ever stuck in a room with Coby and desperate to get away, just appeal to his ego: ''Coby, I'd love to stay and talk, but I'm worried you'll win the conversation.''
While the tribal-council winner was never in question, the road from four players to two was quite an unpredictable ride. It's been painful watching Ian self-destruct; he wanted so badly to be a tricky player, but that desire was always trumped by his need to be liked. I respected the guy up until the past two episodes, when he was moved to spastic, arm-flailing histrionics whenever Katie or Tom would tsk-tsk him for his alliance switching. (And why, right up to the end, did he never point out that holier-than-thou Katie had flipped on him even before he flipped on her?) It all led up to his quitting after nearly 12 hours of standing on a pole, just so he can say he has two buddies for life. What the hell does he need two more friends for? The Chevy SSR only seats two, so if he won that, he'd only have room for one pal anyway.
(I'd like to take a second to address the SSR spotlight, if I may. Instead of attacking Howard Stern, could the FCC focus its energy on something more offensive on the air, like Mark Burnett's ever-growing product-placement greed? We usually hear about the prize car at the end of the show, but this time we got an extra sneak peek on the island, with footage of the starving final four oohing and aahing over the car as if it were made out of meat. This overblown reaction was even more foolish coming a week after Ian won a Corvette, which was a hell of a car. Now how are they supposed to get jazzed about a lemon-colored monstrosity that is 75 percent trunk space? The only good thing I can say for it is that it's the ultimate sporty ride for the man who wants to impress his date but also needs to move his piano.)
I'm sure that there are some people out there who think that Ian did the right thing. These are the same people who think that Titanic would have been a better movie if the ship hadn't sunk. This is a game show with one winner. It is the very definition of the show that someone is going to have to hurt someone else. It is not constructed to be a parable on ethics, and if it was, it would be incredibly dull. These players already have friends and family at home, and if they don't backstab them, they're doing just fine in the morals department. If you want to see someone win a million bucks by doing the right thing, try to find a game where contestants try to find the best cure for cancer, but stay away from TV.
Yes, Ian probably felt good about his decision, but in about a month, when he's sleeping in the storage closet of the Philadelphia aquarium on a bed fashioned out of penguin feed, having just finished a meal of fried minnows that his dolphins had spit back at him for being too small, and Katie hasn't called him back because his bowl haircut won't really fly with her Madison Avenue friends, maybe he'll rethink that decision. Especially when he loses his job because none of the dolphins will obey him anymore because they watched the show, too, and are thinking, ''Why should I do tricks for a schmuck who gave up a million bucks just so a fireman will teach him how to slide down a pole?''
As for the reunion show, there were the usual physical surprises: Caryn had her makeover, Gregg had metamorphosed into C. Thomas Howell, and a long winter had downgraded Stephenie's tan from midnight black to a mere skin-cancer brown. And then there were the shocking revelations, like Ibrehem disclosing that he learned from the loud Jolanda's ousting that he shouldn't show a strong personality, even though Ibrehem couldn't have mustered a strong personality if you hypnotized him into thinking he was Jenny McCarthy.
And then there was the moment that Jeff Probst meant to be uplifting, but managed to make viewers feel bad about America in two unintended ways: When discussing Coby's fabled victory over James on the raft battle, he asked James if his Alabama steelworker buddies gave him any crap at the plant for losing to a homosexual. James revealed that he was actually now unemployed, but that yes, his old pals did tease him. So there you have it, people: Our nation's workers can't get a job, but at least they're homophobic. Add that to the fact that America's auto companies are struggling, and their solution is to design misshapen jalopies like the SSR. The pride is . . . back?
Oh well, at least our nation still rules the world in wacko singing teachers. Take us out, Wanda!
Why Don't They Get Theirs Televised?
Another Amazing Race 7 couple is going to get married and have their nuptials broadcast and paid for by the broadcaster. Lynn Warren and Alex Ali will have their wedding broadcast live by Ottawa, Canada, radio station The New Hot 89.9. The radio station says in a release that it "will become the first station in the world to broadcast live -- a wedding for a gay couple." One of The Morning HOT Tub show's hosts, Mauler, says, "Since current laws do not allow the union of gay couples in California, we are ecstatic that they have agreed to come to Ottawa to share with us this once in a lifetime experience." The wedding will be broadcast live on June 1; Lynn and Alex will also get "a bachelor party, their wedding rehearsal and tour around Canada's beautiful capital city."
I just KNEW this was going to happen!
Amazing Race 7 winners Uchenna and Joyce have responded directly to the rumors and conspiracy theories about their win. Uchenna was asked by TV Guide if producers provided any help. "None whatsoever," he said. He adds, "There was a moment where I looked at the ticket agent and I just glared at her. They didn't show it, but I kind of yelled at her, too. And that's when she called the pilot." Rob helped fuel the rumors by telling Regis and Kelly, "I'm not saying anything. America can judge." He stoked the flames, though, by adding, "When was the last time you ever have seen them close the door of a plane and then turn around and open it after they pulled the Jetway away?" Joyce has a response, reminding the world of the time in Argentina when Rob and Amber were allowed to board a plane at the last minute, although a jetway wasn't involved. "We don't know why he did it. But karma comes back around. If you remember, there was a point on the race in Argentina where we were on a plane, the plane closed and then they let Rob and Amber on! Joyce said, "You know, turnabout is fair play, and it's just good karma coming back. We waited for this and it waited for us." Meanwhile, A CBS spokesperson tells the New York Post that
"Rob says everything with a grin. But such characterizations, even in jest, are completely without foundation. ... Reality series are always breeding grounds for conspiracy theories. Only an understanding gate agent and the goodwill of the pilot returned the Jetway back to the plane. Uchenna and Joyce treated everyone with kindness and respect thoughout race, and that karma was returned at a crucial moment."
--Um, is anyone noticing that ROB is the one bitching here? I don't hear any viewers complaining or questioning the outcome!!!!
"Rob says everything with a grin. But such characterizations, even in jest, are completely without foundation. ... Reality series are always breeding grounds for conspiracy theories. Only an understanding gate agent and the goodwill of the pilot returned the Jetway back to the plane. Uchenna and Joyce treated everyone with kindness and respect thoughout race, and that karma was returned at a crucial moment."
--Um, is anyone noticing that ROB is the one bitching here? I don't hear any viewers complaining or questioning the outcome!!!!
Anyone Can Write Kids Books
Although he was recently rehired by Donald Trump, original Apprentice winner Bill Rancic has so much free time between his media appearances that he's writing yet another book. (His first is You're Hired: How to Succeed in Business and Life from the Winner of The Apprentice.) The new tome is a children's book, and it is creatively titled Beyond the Lemonade Stand.
A press release identifies it as "an advice book for children ages 8-12 who are looking to get ahead," which would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic and sad. Gawker slams the book, but then hears from an editor at the book's publisher Penguin "that Rancic's royalties will be going to charity."
A press release identifies it as "an advice book for children ages 8-12 who are looking to get ahead," which would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic and sad. Gawker slams the book, but then hears from an editor at the book's publisher Penguin "that Rancic's royalties will be going to charity."
Romber Train.....
From TVGasm:
CBS keeps Rambah-ling on.
Network executives have long been criticized and scrutinized for finding a working formula for great TV then abusing it to hell, and the Rambah train is no exception. After three Survivor seasons and an Amazing Race under their (expanding) belt, Rambah is 8 days away from the 2 hour special event that is, their wedding. YAWN!
Last night during the Survivor Palau Finale, CBS unveiled their promo for the new special ROB AND AMBER GET MARRIED, and it hit me like a ton of bricks....I hate them. I guess I've been dancing around it for months, but I truly hate these two. He's cocky and she's on her way to heart break. I mean, the only thing he loves more than himself is the power of notoriety, she’s at best a distant third. These two need jobs, real jobs. No more coasting through life being rewarded for merely existing. These people have been on so many show's I didn't even know under what category to put this posting. Amazing Race? Survivor? The Player? I ultimately decided on Commercials, cause their entire existence has become bad salesmanship.
This is why, I am boycotting the wedding special next week. If that show gets ratings, their deal with E! will be finalized and then they will never go away. I will be setting all TV's at my home and office to NBC on May 24th and I urge like minded TV owners to do the same. Let B-Side's recap be sufficient. Like a decent meal, I have enjoyed them whilst they were around, tasted of their flavor, digested the memory and now its time for the big flush...in non-articulate nor poetic verbiage, I guess what I'm trying to say, is once fine and dandy they are now shit.
I suppose I would have interest in the televised divorce. FOX, you listening?
CBS keeps Rambah-ling on.
Network executives have long been criticized and scrutinized for finding a working formula for great TV then abusing it to hell, and the Rambah train is no exception. After three Survivor seasons and an Amazing Race under their (expanding) belt, Rambah is 8 days away from the 2 hour special event that is, their wedding. YAWN!
Last night during the Survivor Palau Finale, CBS unveiled their promo for the new special ROB AND AMBER GET MARRIED, and it hit me like a ton of bricks....I hate them. I guess I've been dancing around it for months, but I truly hate these two. He's cocky and she's on her way to heart break. I mean, the only thing he loves more than himself is the power of notoriety, she’s at best a distant third. These two need jobs, real jobs. No more coasting through life being rewarded for merely existing. These people have been on so many show's I didn't even know under what category to put this posting. Amazing Race? Survivor? The Player? I ultimately decided on Commercials, cause their entire existence has become bad salesmanship.
This is why, I am boycotting the wedding special next week. If that show gets ratings, their deal with E! will be finalized and then they will never go away. I will be setting all TV's at my home and office to NBC on May 24th and I urge like minded TV owners to do the same. Let B-Side's recap be sufficient. Like a decent meal, I have enjoyed them whilst they were around, tasted of their flavor, digested the memory and now its time for the big flush...in non-articulate nor poetic verbiage, I guess what I'm trying to say, is once fine and dandy they are now shit.
I suppose I would have interest in the televised divorce. FOX, you listening?
Real World/Road Rules
Julie is a freak. She's afraid of heights and climbing these enormously tall structures in one of the challenges, and she keeps yelling at it calling it a "DEVIL" and "DEMON." I love Mormons.
The upfronts are this week....
...and word is ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT and THE OFFICE are both coming back next year!!!! Arrested for a full season, and The Office mid-season.
Bye bye, JACK & BOBBY.
There will be tons of news coming this week. People I work with are at the upfronts as I type.
Bye bye, JACK & BOBBY.
There will be tons of news coming this week. People I work with are at the upfronts as I type.
Friday, May 13
More on the DC Evacuation
My friend, Joe, works in the Capitol Building and was evacuated. He sent me an email afterwards:
I had a lot of questions for Joe after receiving this email.
i'm not sure if this sent the first time i tried, but after my evacuation from the capitol yesterday, i got to meet the lovely joan rivers. while she does resemble a keebler elf, she was a total blast.
I had a lot of questions for Joe after receiving this email.
At least Protocols were in place...
My cousin, Susan, sent me this from Editor & Publisher. I used to read the White House Press Briefings each day to see what was going on. But then Bush was elected and he's a fucking idiot and so is his Press Secretary. Just read. It'll make you feel safe.
NEW YORK On the day after more than 30,000 people -- including the vice president, the first lady, and a former first lady -- were evacuated from their offices or homes in Washington, D.C., but the president, who was biking in Maryland was not notified until the threat passed, reporters grilled Press Secretary Scott McClellan at his daily briefing. For those who might have missed it on TV -- that is, nearly everyone -- here are some choice excerpts, as McClellan continually refers to "protocols" and reporters essentially ask, "Wouldn't most men like to know when their home is evacuated and their wife is hustled to a secure bunker?" They also wonder about the small matter of the president being commander in chief and the capital, theoretically, coming under attack. Some reporters also suggested that the off-kilter Cessna had come much closer to the White House than McClellan's claim yesterday of three miles. **
Q: Scott, yesterday the White House was on red alert, was evacuated. The first lady and Nancy Reagan were taken to a secure location. The Vice President was evacuated from the grounds. The Capitol building was evacuated. The continuity of government plan was initiated. And yet the president wasn't told of yesterday's events until after he finished his bike ride, about 36 minutes after the all-clear had been sent. Is he satisfied with the fact that he wasn't notified about this?
McCLELLAN: Yes. I think you just brought up a very good point -- the protocols that were in place after Sept. 11 were followed. The president was never considered to be in danger because he was at an off-site location. The president has a tremendous amount of trust in his Secret Service detail. ...
Q: The fact that the president wasn't in danger is one aspect of this. But he's also the commander in chief. There was a military operation underway. Other people were in contact with the White House. Shouldn't the commander in chief have been notified of what was going on?
McCLELLAN: John, the protocols that we put in place after Sept. 11 were being followed. They did not require presidential authority for this situation. I think you have to look at each situation and the circumstances surrounding the situation. And that's what officials here at the White House were doing. ...
Q: Even on a personal level, did nobody here at the White House think that calling the president to say, by the way, your wife has been evacuated from the White House, we just want to let you know everything is OK?
McCLELLAN: Actually, all the protocols were followed and people were -- officials that you point out were taken to secure locations or evacuated, in some cases. I think, again, you have to look at the circumstances surrounding the situation, and it depends on the situation and the circumstance. ...
Q: Nobody thought to say, by the way, this is going on, but it's all under control?
McCLELLAN: And I think it depends on each situation and the circumstances surrounding the situation when you're making those decisions.
Q: Isn't there a bit of an appearance problem, notwithstanding the president's safety was not in question, protocols were followed, that today, looking at it, he was enjoying a bike ride, and that recreation time was not considered expendable to inform him of this.
McCLELLAN: Well, I mean, John mentioned 36 minutes after the all-clear. Remember, this was a matter of minutes when all this was happening. ...
Q: But has the President even indicated that even if everything was followed that he would prefer to be notified, that if the choice is: tell the commander in chief or let him continue to exercise, that he would prefer to be informed?
MR. McCLELLAN: Again, it depends on the situation and the circumstances. And you have to take all that into account, and I think that's what people were doing here at the White House, as well as those people that were with the president.
Q: I think there's a disconnect here because, I mean, yesterday you had more than 30,000 people who were evacuated, you had millions of people who were watching this on television, and there was a sense at some point -- it was a short window, a 15-minute window, but there was a sense of confusion among some on the streets. There was a sense of fear. And people are wondering was this not a moment for the president to exercise some leadership, some guidance during that period of time?
MR. McCLELLAN: The president did lead, and the president did that after September the 11th when we put the protocols in place to make sure that situations like this were addressed before it was too late. And that was the case -- that was the case in this situation. ...
Q: I have one more question. When we walked out of this door yesterday, when those of us who heard that there was a situation, when we walked out of the door, we heard aircraft, jets overhead. There is a concern that that plane came closer to the White House than the White House said, more -- it came within the three-mile radius, it was closer than you --
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I said that it came within three miles.
Q: OK, but you said three miles. How close --
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, it came within three miles.
Q: How close was it? Because someone has taken a picture of a plane being escorted on K street. How close was the plane?
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I mean, if the Department of Homeland Security or FAA has any additional information, I'm sure --
Q: Scott, how close was it?
McCLELLAN: April, it was within --
Q: You know how close it was. Please tell us.
McCLELLAN: Yes, within three miles. I don't know beyond that. Go ahead.
Q: Might there be something wrong with protocols that render the president unnecessary when the alarm is going off at his house?
McCLELLAN: That's not at all what occurred, Ken. And I would disagree strongly with the way you characterize it for the reasons I started earlier, and that I talked about. This was a situation where the president was in an off-site location. He was not in danger, a situation where protocols have been put in place to address the situation. The protocols were followed. ...
Q: And those protocols are OK with the president despite the fact that his wife was in a situation where she might have been endangered?
McCLELLAN: She was taken to a secure location, as were some other officials.
Q: And wouldn't he want to know about that as it was happening?
McCLELLAN: He was briefed about the situation.
Q: After it happened.
McCLELLAN: He was briefed about the situation, Ken. And I think that he wants to make sure that the protocols that are in place are followed. The protocols that were in place were followed.
Q: Scott, to follow on the same line of questioning, if there is a possibility that a plane may have to be shot down over Washington, doesn't the President want to be involved in that type of decision?
McCLELLAN: Well, Keith, I think again, it depends on the circumstances in the situation. You have to look at each individual situation and the circumstances surrounding that situation. There are protocols --
Q: Doesn't the President want to be involved in what could be a decision to shoot down a plane over Washington?
McCLELLAN: To answer your question, I was just getting ready to address exactly what you're bringing up. The protocols that were put in place after Sept. 11 include protocols for that, as well. And there are protocols there. They're classified. But they do not require presidential authority. ...
Q: They don't require presidential authority, but they don't obviate the need for presidential authority, do they? They don't say the president cannot be involved --
McCLELLAN: Like I said, that depends on --
Q: -- wouldn't he want to be involved --
McCLELLAN: It depends on the circumstances and it depends on the situation.
Q: And wasn't there a possibility that a plane headed for the White House, that this was the leading edge of some broader attack, isn't the president concerned that maybe he should have been alerted to the fact that this could have been the beginning of a general attack?
McCLELLAN: That was not the case, and I think the Department of Defense yesterday indicated that they didn't sense any hostile intent on the part of the plane, so again --
Q: How did they know -- how did they know this plane wasn't laden with WMD or some other type of weapons like that? Did they get reassurances from the pilot? Or how did they know that?
McCLELLAN: Well, again, if you want to give me a chance to respond, I'll be glad to. The protocols were followed. This situation, as you're well aware, turned out to be an accident. The Department of Defense pointed out yesterday that they didn't sense any hostile intent on the part of the plane. There were fighter jets scrambled. There was a Blackhawk helicopter scrambled, as well, to get in contact with the plane. ...
Q So if it was assessed that there was no hostile intent on the part of this aircraft, can you tell us why 30,000 people -- 35,000 people were told to run for their lives?
McCLELLAN: Because of the protocols that are in place, John. We want to make sure that the people in the area of the threat are protected. After --
Q: But what was the threat? You just said there was no threat.
McCLELLAN: John, after Sept. 11, we have to take into account the world that we live in. We live in a very different world than we did before Sept. 11. And the president is going to do everything in his power to make sure we are protecting the American people and to make sure that the people in areas that could be high-risk areas are protected, as well.
Q: Right, but there seems to be so many disconnects here. You've got a plane that was assessed as not being a threat, you've got 35,000 people evacuated, you've got a person who you claim is a hands-on commander in chief who is left to go ride his bicycle through the rural wildlands of Maryland while his wife is in some secure location somewhere, it's just not adding up.
McCLELLAN: Well, John, I disagree, and let me tell you why: You have highly skilled professionals who are involved in situations like this, in a variety of different fronts, from our Homeland Security officials to our National Security Council officials to our Secret Service officials and to others and to local officials, and they work very closely together. The protocols that were put in place were followed, and I think they were followed well.
NEW YORK On the day after more than 30,000 people -- including the vice president, the first lady, and a former first lady -- were evacuated from their offices or homes in Washington, D.C., but the president, who was biking in Maryland was not notified until the threat passed, reporters grilled Press Secretary Scott McClellan at his daily briefing. For those who might have missed it on TV -- that is, nearly everyone -- here are some choice excerpts, as McClellan continually refers to "protocols" and reporters essentially ask, "Wouldn't most men like to know when their home is evacuated and their wife is hustled to a secure bunker?" They also wonder about the small matter of the president being commander in chief and the capital, theoretically, coming under attack. Some reporters also suggested that the off-kilter Cessna had come much closer to the White House than McClellan's claim yesterday of three miles. **
Q: Scott, yesterday the White House was on red alert, was evacuated. The first lady and Nancy Reagan were taken to a secure location. The Vice President was evacuated from the grounds. The Capitol building was evacuated. The continuity of government plan was initiated. And yet the president wasn't told of yesterday's events until after he finished his bike ride, about 36 minutes after the all-clear had been sent. Is he satisfied with the fact that he wasn't notified about this?
McCLELLAN: Yes. I think you just brought up a very good point -- the protocols that were in place after Sept. 11 were followed. The president was never considered to be in danger because he was at an off-site location. The president has a tremendous amount of trust in his Secret Service detail. ...
Q: The fact that the president wasn't in danger is one aspect of this. But he's also the commander in chief. There was a military operation underway. Other people were in contact with the White House. Shouldn't the commander in chief have been notified of what was going on?
McCLELLAN: John, the protocols that we put in place after Sept. 11 were being followed. They did not require presidential authority for this situation. I think you have to look at each situation and the circumstances surrounding the situation. And that's what officials here at the White House were doing. ...
Q: Even on a personal level, did nobody here at the White House think that calling the president to say, by the way, your wife has been evacuated from the White House, we just want to let you know everything is OK?
McCLELLAN: Actually, all the protocols were followed and people were -- officials that you point out were taken to secure locations or evacuated, in some cases. I think, again, you have to look at the circumstances surrounding the situation, and it depends on the situation and the circumstance. ...
Q: Nobody thought to say, by the way, this is going on, but it's all under control?
McCLELLAN: And I think it depends on each situation and the circumstances surrounding the situation when you're making those decisions.
Q: Isn't there a bit of an appearance problem, notwithstanding the president's safety was not in question, protocols were followed, that today, looking at it, he was enjoying a bike ride, and that recreation time was not considered expendable to inform him of this.
McCLELLAN: Well, I mean, John mentioned 36 minutes after the all-clear. Remember, this was a matter of minutes when all this was happening. ...
Q: But has the President even indicated that even if everything was followed that he would prefer to be notified, that if the choice is: tell the commander in chief or let him continue to exercise, that he would prefer to be informed?
MR. McCLELLAN: Again, it depends on the situation and the circumstances. And you have to take all that into account, and I think that's what people were doing here at the White House, as well as those people that were with the president.
Q: I think there's a disconnect here because, I mean, yesterday you had more than 30,000 people who were evacuated, you had millions of people who were watching this on television, and there was a sense at some point -- it was a short window, a 15-minute window, but there was a sense of confusion among some on the streets. There was a sense of fear. And people are wondering was this not a moment for the president to exercise some leadership, some guidance during that period of time?
MR. McCLELLAN: The president did lead, and the president did that after September the 11th when we put the protocols in place to make sure that situations like this were addressed before it was too late. And that was the case -- that was the case in this situation. ...
Q: I have one more question. When we walked out of this door yesterday, when those of us who heard that there was a situation, when we walked out of the door, we heard aircraft, jets overhead. There is a concern that that plane came closer to the White House than the White House said, more -- it came within the three-mile radius, it was closer than you --
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I said that it came within three miles.
Q: OK, but you said three miles. How close --
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, it came within three miles.
Q: How close was it? Because someone has taken a picture of a plane being escorted on K street. How close was the plane?
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I mean, if the Department of Homeland Security or FAA has any additional information, I'm sure --
Q: Scott, how close was it?
McCLELLAN: April, it was within --
Q: You know how close it was. Please tell us.
McCLELLAN: Yes, within three miles. I don't know beyond that. Go ahead.
Q: Might there be something wrong with protocols that render the president unnecessary when the alarm is going off at his house?
McCLELLAN: That's not at all what occurred, Ken. And I would disagree strongly with the way you characterize it for the reasons I started earlier, and that I talked about. This was a situation where the president was in an off-site location. He was not in danger, a situation where protocols have been put in place to address the situation. The protocols were followed. ...
Q: And those protocols are OK with the president despite the fact that his wife was in a situation where she might have been endangered?
McCLELLAN: She was taken to a secure location, as were some other officials.
Q: And wouldn't he want to know about that as it was happening?
McCLELLAN: He was briefed about the situation.
Q: After it happened.
McCLELLAN: He was briefed about the situation, Ken. And I think that he wants to make sure that the protocols that are in place are followed. The protocols that were in place were followed.
Q: Scott, to follow on the same line of questioning, if there is a possibility that a plane may have to be shot down over Washington, doesn't the President want to be involved in that type of decision?
McCLELLAN: Well, Keith, I think again, it depends on the circumstances in the situation. You have to look at each individual situation and the circumstances surrounding that situation. There are protocols --
Q: Doesn't the President want to be involved in what could be a decision to shoot down a plane over Washington?
McCLELLAN: To answer your question, I was just getting ready to address exactly what you're bringing up. The protocols that were put in place after Sept. 11 include protocols for that, as well. And there are protocols there. They're classified. But they do not require presidential authority. ...
Q: They don't require presidential authority, but they don't obviate the need for presidential authority, do they? They don't say the president cannot be involved --
McCLELLAN: Like I said, that depends on --
Q: -- wouldn't he want to be involved --
McCLELLAN: It depends on the circumstances and it depends on the situation.
Q: And wasn't there a possibility that a plane headed for the White House, that this was the leading edge of some broader attack, isn't the president concerned that maybe he should have been alerted to the fact that this could have been the beginning of a general attack?
McCLELLAN: That was not the case, and I think the Department of Defense yesterday indicated that they didn't sense any hostile intent on the part of the plane, so again --
Q: How did they know -- how did they know this plane wasn't laden with WMD or some other type of weapons like that? Did they get reassurances from the pilot? Or how did they know that?
McCLELLAN: Well, again, if you want to give me a chance to respond, I'll be glad to. The protocols were followed. This situation, as you're well aware, turned out to be an accident. The Department of Defense pointed out yesterday that they didn't sense any hostile intent on the part of the plane. There were fighter jets scrambled. There was a Blackhawk helicopter scrambled, as well, to get in contact with the plane. ...
Q So if it was assessed that there was no hostile intent on the part of this aircraft, can you tell us why 30,000 people -- 35,000 people were told to run for their lives?
McCLELLAN: Because of the protocols that are in place, John. We want to make sure that the people in the area of the threat are protected. After --
Q: But what was the threat? You just said there was no threat.
McCLELLAN: John, after Sept. 11, we have to take into account the world that we live in. We live in a very different world than we did before Sept. 11. And the president is going to do everything in his power to make sure we are protecting the American people and to make sure that the people in areas that could be high-risk areas are protected, as well.
Q: Right, but there seems to be so many disconnects here. You've got a plane that was assessed as not being a threat, you've got 35,000 people evacuated, you've got a person who you claim is a hands-on commander in chief who is left to go ride his bicycle through the rural wildlands of Maryland while his wife is in some secure location somewhere, it's just not adding up.
McCLELLAN: Well, John, I disagree, and let me tell you why: You have highly skilled professionals who are involved in situations like this, in a variety of different fronts, from our Homeland Security officials to our National Security Council officials to our Secret Service officials and to others and to local officials, and they work very closely together. The protocols that were put in place were followed, and I think they were followed well.
More Fox News Bullshit
From Media Matters:
During Fox News' coverage of the Capitol and White House evacuations on May 11, the channel's "Fox News Alert" banner twice read "RNC headquarters evacuated," referring to the Republican National Committee. Other messages that appeared on the banner included: "White House and Capitol evacuated," "U.S fighter jets over White House," "Capitol Building evacuation ordered," and "Fighter jets tracking small plane 3 miles from Capitol." Fox's alert banner did not note that the Democratic National Committee headquarters was also evacuated.
During Fox News' coverage of the Capitol and White House evacuations on May 11, the channel's "Fox News Alert" banner twice read "RNC headquarters evacuated," referring to the Republican National Committee. Other messages that appeared on the banner included: "White House and Capitol evacuated," "U.S fighter jets over White House," "Capitol Building evacuation ordered," and "Fighter jets tracking small plane 3 miles from Capitol." Fox's alert banner did not note that the Democratic National Committee headquarters was also evacuated.
Thursday, May 12
Thank you, Fox News
Now I know why you are so relevant. You really clear up how this President (or as you like to say, Commander-In-Chief) is so different than those others. It's the speeches.
"Though different commanders in chief handle speeches differently, this president likes to be very familiar with what he's going to say before he says it. His speeches — especially the important ones — will go through several drafts and a lot of tightening, with the final version typically completed ahead of time."
Ah, the speeches are completed ahead of time. Wow. This President really likes to break the rules.
I Work In Advertising, Goddamnit
This is the funniest posts (in one of the funniest blogs, blagg blogg) I've seen in a while. Sadly, it reminds me of people I know in the ad industry. And yes, I have like 63 iPods, too. (Okay, I have 1. But I want 63.)
The O.C. Jumps the Shark
George Lucas is guest starring... as himself.
This is how we do things (aka jumping the shark) in the O.C., bitches.
This is how we do things (aka jumping the shark) in the O.C., bitches.
America Wakes Up
Finally there's no more suckage on American Idol. Last week we said bye to Scott Savol and this week to A-Fed.
My thoughts about A-Fed... probably a real nice guy, he might be a lesbian, and I think someone crunched all of his facial features into the dead center of his head. Seriously, his eyes, nose and mouth are all in the dead center of his face. It's weird. He sounds like Jon Secada every week. And would be really good at karaoke. He was the best of the worst, and it's time for him to go. Here's Television Without Pity, just because Jacob (who writes the American Idol recaps) is so damn funny:
Vonzell and A-Fed look uproariously happy, while Carrie and Bo look freaked out and pissed. It's interesting. Ryan's dressed for his Fisher & Diaz interview, asks who we voted for, and points out the judges: "We know who they liked!" but I don't think we really do, because they were all bearing crazy Big Brother trickledown false witness with the producers' hands up them.
I believe: it was Carrie's best night so far, Bo was awesome on his first song but sucked on the second, and A-Fed did the best of anybody. All of which is the exact opposite opinion from the rest of the world. Carrie had a real girl's body; real live Bo was back, his grandmother crazy/beautiful; Vonzell screwed the pooch like Natasha Lyonne, and then lost her shit live, also like Natasha Lyonne; and A-Fed sang a song guaranteed to piss me and Simon off. Second go-round, Bo and the polloi made love to clichés; Vonzell brought it back with a damn vengeance; Carrie was awesome and got sold out, but had some glorious "emotions"; and A-Fed was called good but soulless. Per Ryan, they "rocked and rolled with country and soul." Oh, kiddo.
The Idols sing "Islands In The Stream," a fun song if ever there was one, and are all very loving with each other, and Bo for another week running was the superstar of all people. Is there anything cuter-slash-more terrifyingly Aryan than the Starship Troopers-ness of Carrie and Anthony singing together? They have to sing about "making love to each other (uh huh)" and it's more disturbing for them than anybody. Carrie's not good, Bo is of course great (though his mic is possibly not even on the whole time), Vonzell is lovely, and I can't hear Anthony at all. He's wearing this frayed-lapel jacket that makes him look like Red Buttons's little hobo baby, and then Carrie and Anthony hold hands in the air so that his votes will go to Carrie because they are BFF.
There's a totally awesome pimpomercial of "Ready To Go," which pulls me back in life like Eliza Dushku to when I could drink all day and I didn't even know what a hangover was and I thought I was better than coffee. Bo drives up like his drug-dealing self with some Björk hair, and talks the kids into getting into his ugly car for some candy; they hallucinate it's a rollercoaster, and make crazy faces. The Idols, they cannot act. There's not even pretend singing this week, just them making faces and having psycho hair, and it's so, so awesome. They get out of the car giggling, and A-Fed points at Bo and says, "You look funny!" in a very adorable way. Then we watch him say this sixteen times because the more pregnant Anna gets, the more times we have to watch A-Fed do cute things.
Then we get to see their original auditions, much of which footage we've never actually seen because the "audition" episodes were not about good singing. Vonzell in Miami with her pink and green outfit singing "Chain Chain Chain" freaking terrifically, and you see now-Zell being really, really nervous watching it. Maybe because it reminds her of the days when she had no eyebrows at all. Randy says that she's grown a lot and has gained confidence and figured out that she's awesome. Anthony in Cleveland sings a Jon Secada song we've never heard on the screen, where now-Thony and Ryan flirt about how goofy he was, and how yelly. He has not changed whatsoever, honestly, but Paula backhands that he's "his own Anthony," and not Clay anymore. Ugh. Catch up.
Carrie really hates watching her audition, but I like it: all kinds of actual feelings and emotions appropriate to a Checotah girl. She sings best song ever candidate "I Can't Make You Love Me," while now-Carrie whisper-giggles with A-Fed (possibly about how Paula totally hates her). BFF, people! Now vote! Randy tells then-Carrie to work on emotion and stage presence -- heh -- and then Ryan and Simon have another big gay love spat about Simon pimping her high and low. Bo's unseen audition, from the day I recapletted him as a swamp guy who shouts Bible verses at the people chained up in his basement, I do not like: it's screamy and affected and nervous. On the other hand, he is now fifty times hotter, and doesn't ramble on and on nearly as much.
The three non-losers will jet home all VIP and that'll be awesome, while A-Fed will fly home coach. Anna intuits that this will be one of those nights "where he just mows them down one after the other," and she's right: Bo, you didn't suck/sucked, or vice versa, and Carrie, you had your best night of the season or else you were great and then sucked, but you're both safe. Carrie giggles and jumps shrieking into Bo's arms and it's somehow adorable. A-Fed, the judges lied meanly to you some more, but Vonzell, you totally lost your mind, so Anthony's leaving. Which: bummer, but I called it, so I'm used to the idea. There is no "Seacrest out" tonight. Ryan and I keep losing our babies.
Video Journey, and you already know everything he says, and just because it's true and sweet doesn't mean it isn't kind of boring. Ryan grabs him and does not let go, during all this, but, like, it's A-Fed. Good day or bad day, he still requires judicious hugging. He sings "If You Don't Know Me" again and fucks up the lyrics but sounds pretty good, and Carrie freaks out Angela Chase-style, with the ugly real crying. Which is projected onto the giant screen above him (not her fault), and he sings to her, and she screams and intensely ASLs "I love you!" and continues to fucking lose it. Anna starts crying and throwing things into her purse and says through her tears, "Well, guess I'm a pedophile [sniffs, laughs bitterly, wipes a tear] and I guess I'm okay with that." And then runs out the door sobbing.
I'm just gonna leave it at that.
My thoughts about A-Fed... probably a real nice guy, he might be a lesbian, and I think someone crunched all of his facial features into the dead center of his head. Seriously, his eyes, nose and mouth are all in the dead center of his face. It's weird. He sounds like Jon Secada every week. And would be really good at karaoke. He was the best of the worst, and it's time for him to go. Here's Television Without Pity, just because Jacob (who writes the American Idol recaps) is so damn funny:
Vonzell and A-Fed look uproariously happy, while Carrie and Bo look freaked out and pissed. It's interesting. Ryan's dressed for his Fisher & Diaz interview, asks who we voted for, and points out the judges: "We know who they liked!" but I don't think we really do, because they were all bearing crazy Big Brother trickledown false witness with the producers' hands up them.
I believe: it was Carrie's best night so far, Bo was awesome on his first song but sucked on the second, and A-Fed did the best of anybody. All of which is the exact opposite opinion from the rest of the world. Carrie had a real girl's body; real live Bo was back, his grandmother crazy/beautiful; Vonzell screwed the pooch like Natasha Lyonne, and then lost her shit live, also like Natasha Lyonne; and A-Fed sang a song guaranteed to piss me and Simon off. Second go-round, Bo and the polloi made love to clichés; Vonzell brought it back with a damn vengeance; Carrie was awesome and got sold out, but had some glorious "emotions"; and A-Fed was called good but soulless. Per Ryan, they "rocked and rolled with country and soul." Oh, kiddo.
The Idols sing "Islands In The Stream," a fun song if ever there was one, and are all very loving with each other, and Bo for another week running was the superstar of all people. Is there anything cuter-slash-more terrifyingly Aryan than the Starship Troopers-ness of Carrie and Anthony singing together? They have to sing about "making love to each other (uh huh)" and it's more disturbing for them than anybody. Carrie's not good, Bo is of course great (though his mic is possibly not even on the whole time), Vonzell is lovely, and I can't hear Anthony at all. He's wearing this frayed-lapel jacket that makes him look like Red Buttons's little hobo baby, and then Carrie and Anthony hold hands in the air so that his votes will go to Carrie because they are BFF.
There's a totally awesome pimpomercial of "Ready To Go," which pulls me back in life like Eliza Dushku to when I could drink all day and I didn't even know what a hangover was and I thought I was better than coffee. Bo drives up like his drug-dealing self with some Björk hair, and talks the kids into getting into his ugly car for some candy; they hallucinate it's a rollercoaster, and make crazy faces. The Idols, they cannot act. There's not even pretend singing this week, just them making faces and having psycho hair, and it's so, so awesome. They get out of the car giggling, and A-Fed points at Bo and says, "You look funny!" in a very adorable way. Then we watch him say this sixteen times because the more pregnant Anna gets, the more times we have to watch A-Fed do cute things.
Then we get to see their original auditions, much of which footage we've never actually seen because the "audition" episodes were not about good singing. Vonzell in Miami with her pink and green outfit singing "Chain Chain Chain" freaking terrifically, and you see now-Zell being really, really nervous watching it. Maybe because it reminds her of the days when she had no eyebrows at all. Randy says that she's grown a lot and has gained confidence and figured out that she's awesome. Anthony in Cleveland sings a Jon Secada song we've never heard on the screen, where now-Thony and Ryan flirt about how goofy he was, and how yelly. He has not changed whatsoever, honestly, but Paula backhands that he's "his own Anthony," and not Clay anymore. Ugh. Catch up.
Carrie really hates watching her audition, but I like it: all kinds of actual feelings and emotions appropriate to a Checotah girl. She sings best song ever candidate "I Can't Make You Love Me," while now-Carrie whisper-giggles with A-Fed (possibly about how Paula totally hates her). BFF, people! Now vote! Randy tells then-Carrie to work on emotion and stage presence -- heh -- and then Ryan and Simon have another big gay love spat about Simon pimping her high and low. Bo's unseen audition, from the day I recapletted him as a swamp guy who shouts Bible verses at the people chained up in his basement, I do not like: it's screamy and affected and nervous. On the other hand, he is now fifty times hotter, and doesn't ramble on and on nearly as much.
The three non-losers will jet home all VIP and that'll be awesome, while A-Fed will fly home coach. Anna intuits that this will be one of those nights "where he just mows them down one after the other," and she's right: Bo, you didn't suck/sucked, or vice versa, and Carrie, you had your best night of the season or else you were great and then sucked, but you're both safe. Carrie giggles and jumps shrieking into Bo's arms and it's somehow adorable. A-Fed, the judges lied meanly to you some more, but Vonzell, you totally lost your mind, so Anthony's leaving. Which: bummer, but I called it, so I'm used to the idea. There is no "Seacrest out" tonight. Ryan and I keep losing our babies.
Video Journey, and you already know everything he says, and just because it's true and sweet doesn't mean it isn't kind of boring. Ryan grabs him and does not let go, during all this, but, like, it's A-Fed. Good day or bad day, he still requires judicious hugging. He sings "If You Don't Know Me" again and fucks up the lyrics but sounds pretty good, and Carrie freaks out Angela Chase-style, with the ugly real crying. Which is projected onto the giant screen above him (not her fault), and he sings to her, and she screams and intensely ASLs "I love you!" and continues to fucking lose it. Anna starts crying and throwing things into her purse and says through her tears, "Well, guess I'm a pedophile [sniffs, laughs bitterly, wipes a tear] and I guess I'm okay with that." And then runs out the door sobbing.
I'm just gonna leave it at that.
The Red States Have Gone MAD!
I just don't understand how the religious right thinks. I know several people that have had babies out of wedlock. And none of them ended up in crack houses. In fact, two of the best moms I know were both single teenagers when they had kids. Bill O'Reilly can suck it.
On a side note, since Bush is so obsessed with sex and who can and can't have it in their own bedrooms and abstinence only and blah blah, do you think the Bush twins are virgins? Or do you think they get fucked up drunk three nights a week and screw strangers? I'm going with the second...
On a side note, since Bush is so obsessed with sex and who can and can't have it in their own bedrooms and abstinence only and blah blah, do you think the Bush twins are virgins? Or do you think they get fucked up drunk three nights a week and screw strangers? I'm going with the second...
Weenie Roast
I am going to try to score tickets to KROQ's Weenie Roast. Seriously... one day... and you get all of these bands:
Audioslave, Foo Fighters, Hot Hot Heat, Interpol, Jimmy Eat World, The Killers, My Chemical Romance, Queens of the Stone Age, The Mars Volta, Bloc Party.
I haven't seen this good of a line up in, oh, two weeks. (Coachella.)
Audioslave, Foo Fighters, Hot Hot Heat, Interpol, Jimmy Eat World, The Killers, My Chemical Romance, Queens of the Stone Age, The Mars Volta, Bloc Party.
I haven't seen this good of a line up in, oh, two weeks. (Coachella.)
Remaining Lost Episodes
Television Without Pity sums it up better than I could:
"Are each of the three remaining episodes going to be five hours long? Because there's lots of shit they need to start wrapping up."
"Are each of the three remaining episodes going to be five hours long? Because there's lots of shit they need to start wrapping up."
Wednesday, May 11
Death Cab
One of my favorite current bands, Death Cab For Cutie is going to release a concert DVD in July! Yippee! Especially since I've never seen them live (their appearance on The O.C. doesn't count, bitches).
Merry Christmas, Baby
It's a little early, but I love that Brian Wilson's follow-up to "Smile" will be a Christmas album!
Finale Viewing Guide
From EW:
'Tis the season for season finales. Between now and May 25, the broadcast networks will try to pack so many special guest stars, explosive cliffhangers, and tearful farewells into your favorite series that you'll forgive them for all the reruns they'll air from June through August. Of course, the networks have to make it a little difficult for you. Different time slots (yeah, Survivor wraps on a Sunday, as in past years), scheduling conflicts (thanks, ABC and Fox, for pitting the Lost and American Idol finales against each another), and expanded episodes (surprise — According to Jim is getting bloated) may give you fits as you program your TiVo or VCR. We hope this guide will help.
Tuesday, May 10
Who killed Lilly Kane? How come Veronica's carrying a firearm? And why doesn't anybody watch the totally rad teen drama Veronica Mars? The show's ubiquitous ads promise an answer to at least the first question before the season concludes. (UPN, 9-10 p.m.)
Thursday, May 12
Surprisingly, neither Matthew Perry nor David Schwimmer is on the guest list for the extended finale of Joey. (NBC, 8-9 p.m.)
Friday, May 13
Star Trek Enterprise travels six years into the future for the signing of the Federation charter. It's doubtful the two-hour road to galactic peace will be smooth, but fans should get enough resolution for the series to permanently sign off after four years. (UPN, 8-10 p.m.)
Sunday, May 15
The Simpsons gets a full 60 minutes and two episodes to end its season. Liam Neeson and Jason Bateman provide guest voices. (Fox, 8-9 p.m.)
Following series tradition, Survivor leaps from Thursday to Sunday for the Palau conclusion (two hours) and postshow interviews (one hour). Chances are they'll also include the sappy, time-stretching tribute to the island or to fallen competitors. (CBS, 8-11 p.m.)
Monday, May 16
It'll take three long hours for The Bachelor's Charlie O'Connell to choose either Sarah B. or Krisily as his future bride, but how long will it take for the happy couple to visit Splitsville? (ABC, 8-11 p.m.)
Don't expect a Very Special Episode, just a typical 30 minutes of wacky Barone dysfunction, when Everybody Loves Raymond wraps its ninth (and final) season. (CBS, 9-9:30 p.m.)
Tuesday, May 17
ABC tries to squeeze a few extra laughs from its Tuesday-night sitcom block, with supersized versions of My Wife and Kids (8-8:40 p.m.), George Lopez (8:40-9:19 p.m.), and According to Jim (9:19-10 p.m.).
Wednesday, May 18
That '70s Show's producers can't say if Ashton Kutcher will be back again next year. But we do know that Topher Grace will be saying a permanent goodbye to the Disco Era and hello to his film career. In the one-hour season finale, Eric Forman (Grace) heads to Africa — leaving Mila Kunis and Wilmer Valderrama to keep the sitcom on life support. (Fox, 8-9 p.m.,)
Naima's been almost invincible in the ''CoverGirl of the Week'' fan polls, but that Brittany sure takes a fierce photo. Only one of them (or maybe Kahlen or Keenyah) will become America's Next Top Model — and land a photo shoot with ''renowned fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon.'' (UPN, 8-9 p.m.)
Thursday, May 19
Thursdays are never easy for TV lovers, but this one will be particularly tough, as CSI's two-hour Quentin Tarantino-directed episode (CBS, 8-10 p.m.) overlaps with The O.C.'s sudsy conclusion (Fox, 8-9 p.m.) and The Apprentice's climactic hiring (NBC, 9-10 p.m.).
Yet another character makes a life-changing decision to leave the ER: This time it's Noah Wyle's Dr. Carter. (NBC, 9:59-11 p.m.)
Sunday, May 22
Desperate Housewives raises questions that hit home for a large segment of the viewing public: What's the deal with Dana? What does that hellion Andrew have in store for Bree? And why aren't there any African-Americans on this show? Oh wait, there's Alfre Woodard answering at least one burning issue. (ABC, 9-10:02 p.m., ABC)
Wednesday, May 25
It could shape up as a battle of good versus evil, and you won't get an answer till the show's final minutes. We're talking about either the Jack-Locke confrontation on Lost (ABC, 8-10 p.m.) or the likely Bo-Carrie showdown on American Idol (Fox, 8-10 p.m.), or maybe both. In any case, you'll have to record one of 'em.
Now that you've gotten used to its Wednesdays-at-9 time slot, ABC pulls a fast one and airs Alias' season ender an hour later. (ABC, 10-11 p.m.)
'Tis the season for season finales. Between now and May 25, the broadcast networks will try to pack so many special guest stars, explosive cliffhangers, and tearful farewells into your favorite series that you'll forgive them for all the reruns they'll air from June through August. Of course, the networks have to make it a little difficult for you. Different time slots (yeah, Survivor wraps on a Sunday, as in past years), scheduling conflicts (thanks, ABC and Fox, for pitting the Lost and American Idol finales against each another), and expanded episodes (surprise — According to Jim is getting bloated) may give you fits as you program your TiVo or VCR. We hope this guide will help.
Tuesday, May 10
Who killed Lilly Kane? How come Veronica's carrying a firearm? And why doesn't anybody watch the totally rad teen drama Veronica Mars? The show's ubiquitous ads promise an answer to at least the first question before the season concludes. (UPN, 9-10 p.m.)
Thursday, May 12
Surprisingly, neither Matthew Perry nor David Schwimmer is on the guest list for the extended finale of Joey. (NBC, 8-9 p.m.)
Friday, May 13
Star Trek Enterprise travels six years into the future for the signing of the Federation charter. It's doubtful the two-hour road to galactic peace will be smooth, but fans should get enough resolution for the series to permanently sign off after four years. (UPN, 8-10 p.m.)
Sunday, May 15
The Simpsons gets a full 60 minutes and two episodes to end its season. Liam Neeson and Jason Bateman provide guest voices. (Fox, 8-9 p.m.)
Following series tradition, Survivor leaps from Thursday to Sunday for the Palau conclusion (two hours) and postshow interviews (one hour). Chances are they'll also include the sappy, time-stretching tribute to the island or to fallen competitors. (CBS, 8-11 p.m.)
Monday, May 16
It'll take three long hours for The Bachelor's Charlie O'Connell to choose either Sarah B. or Krisily as his future bride, but how long will it take for the happy couple to visit Splitsville? (ABC, 8-11 p.m.)
Don't expect a Very Special Episode, just a typical 30 minutes of wacky Barone dysfunction, when Everybody Loves Raymond wraps its ninth (and final) season. (CBS, 9-9:30 p.m.)
Tuesday, May 17
ABC tries to squeeze a few extra laughs from its Tuesday-night sitcom block, with supersized versions of My Wife and Kids (8-8:40 p.m.), George Lopez (8:40-9:19 p.m.), and According to Jim (9:19-10 p.m.).
Wednesday, May 18
That '70s Show's producers can't say if Ashton Kutcher will be back again next year. But we do know that Topher Grace will be saying a permanent goodbye to the Disco Era and hello to his film career. In the one-hour season finale, Eric Forman (Grace) heads to Africa — leaving Mila Kunis and Wilmer Valderrama to keep the sitcom on life support. (Fox, 8-9 p.m.,)
Naima's been almost invincible in the ''CoverGirl of the Week'' fan polls, but that Brittany sure takes a fierce photo. Only one of them (or maybe Kahlen or Keenyah) will become America's Next Top Model — and land a photo shoot with ''renowned fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon.'' (UPN, 8-9 p.m.)
Thursday, May 19
Thursdays are never easy for TV lovers, but this one will be particularly tough, as CSI's two-hour Quentin Tarantino-directed episode (CBS, 8-10 p.m.) overlaps with The O.C.'s sudsy conclusion (Fox, 8-9 p.m.) and The Apprentice's climactic hiring (NBC, 9-10 p.m.).
Yet another character makes a life-changing decision to leave the ER: This time it's Noah Wyle's Dr. Carter. (NBC, 9:59-11 p.m.)
Sunday, May 22
Desperate Housewives raises questions that hit home for a large segment of the viewing public: What's the deal with Dana? What does that hellion Andrew have in store for Bree? And why aren't there any African-Americans on this show? Oh wait, there's Alfre Woodard answering at least one burning issue. (ABC, 9-10:02 p.m., ABC)
Wednesday, May 25
It could shape up as a battle of good versus evil, and you won't get an answer till the show's final minutes. We're talking about either the Jack-Locke confrontation on Lost (ABC, 8-10 p.m.) or the likely Bo-Carrie showdown on American Idol (Fox, 8-10 p.m.), or maybe both. In any case, you'll have to record one of 'em.
Now that you've gotten used to its Wednesdays-at-9 time slot, ABC pulls a fast one and airs Alias' season ender an hour later. (ABC, 10-11 p.m.)
Amazing Race Finale
If you read nothing else today, read the TV Gasm recap. Totally hysterical!
TV Gasm
Entertainment Weekly
TV Gasm
Entertainment Weekly
Tuesday, May 10
The Onion's Summer Movie Preview
Cheeky fun... Read on:
Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge Of The Sith
Director: George Lucas
Cast: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, R2D2
Causes for excitement: The by-all-appearances-final entry in the Star Wars series, Revenge Of The Sith looks like it's drawing the saga to its conclusion—or at least its midpoint—in high style. The trailer looks thrilling and dark, more Empire Strikes Back than Phantom Menace, and the film appears to be loaded with Wookies. And who doesn't love Wookies? No one lining up for this movie, that's for sure.
Probable cause for disappointment: Early viewers have complained about the notable lack of sexual chemistry between Natalie Portman and Chewbacca. Also, the film appears to be light on Jar Jar Binks, the lovable, funny-talking man-imp who burrowed into our hearts back in 1999. Will no one shake George Lucas by the shoulders and demand he return to the series' core elements: fart jokes, gratuitous pratfalls, and thinly veiled ethnic humor?
Madagascar
Director: Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath
Cast: Voices of Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith
Causes for excitement: Dreamworks' new computer-animated film about a group of zoo-animal friends who accidentally get themselves shipped from New York City back to "the wild" has it all: Cute talking animals, a lively premise, and a cast of comedians including Cedric The Entertainer and Da Ali G Show's Sacha Baron Cohen. Also, as an animated character, Ben Stiller has no opportunity to do his increasingly irritating hapless pity-me-I'm-harmless-and-sensitive shtick.
Probable cause for disappointment: Unlike other Dreamworks CGI projects like Antz and Shark Tale, this one doesn't seem to have a clear antecedent in a Pixar movie. How could that possibly work out well? Hey Dreamworks... Pixar's next movie is Cars. Where are the cars in Madagascar, huh? Huh?
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Director: Doug Liman
Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie
Causes for excitement: Pitt and Jolie are two of Hollywood's best-looking stars, and as members of America's attractive community, they have a responsibility to give back to the rest of us, if necessary by making cartoony action-comedies about a husband-and-wife pair of assassins assigned to rub each other out. If they want to provide some offscreen entertainment by touching off rumors of home-wrecking affairs, all the better.
Probable cause for disappointment: Alleged scandal-sheet romances often leave viewers scanning the screen for chemistry, not plot. Also, Liman's work on Go and The Bourne Identity have shown him to be somewhat of a literalist, perhaps unsuited to a balance of whimsy, romance, and violence. Plus he's never really had to manage superstar egos. Expect a lot of close-ups.
Batman Begins
Director: Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman
Causes for excitement: Fans who were let down by an increasingly craptastic run of over-the-top Batman films are hoping Memento director Christopher Nolan will get it right with this back-to-basics take on the hero's story. A promising cast—from Michael Caine as Alfred to Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon to Ken Watanabe as Ra's Al Ghul—has the comics geeks geeking appropriately.
Probable cause for disappointment: The Batman origin story has been done so many times that it's going to be hard to put a fresh spin on things without departing from the geeks' beloved canon. And the shoehorned-in romantic subplot will doubtless lower the explosions-per-minute ratio considerably, possibly even cutting into Christian Bale's angsty rooftop-posing time.
War Of The Worlds
Director: Steven Spielberg
Cast: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning
Causes for excitement: Spielberg ranks as one of America's most dependable commercial filmmakers, and he seems like a natural to take on War Of The Worlds. That Cruise kid has scored a few box-office successes in his day as well. Early reports indicate that the filmmakers went all-out to make the film as spectacular as possible, even going so far as to spend thousands of dollars buying fancy computers that can conjure up beasties and aliens and bugaboos that don't actually exist.
Probable cause for disappointment: Then again, the teaming of Spielberg and Tom Hanks didn't seem too shabby either, and The Terminal didn't exactly wow critics or audiences. Besides, is America finally getting sick of Tom Cruise? It probably should.
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Director: Tim Burton
Cast: Johnny Depp, a bunch of kids
Causes for excitement: Roald Dahl's surreal, giddy children's book about an eccentric chocolatier, plus Tim Burton's surreal, giddy production aesthetic, equals a match made in heaven. And Burton will presumably have the sense not to bog down his version with turgid songs and an overlong prologue, like the 1971 film version did.
Probable cause for disappointment: Behold the terror of Planet Of The Apes syndrome. Given Burton's boundless and bizarre imagination, and the aesthetic successes of original films like Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, and Ed Wood, it's disappointing that he so often lets himself get caught up in gratuitous remakes and franchise entries that limit his story sensibility. Still, if this doesn't work out, there's always his Corpse Bride (with still more Johnny Depp) later this year.
The Island
Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou
Causes for excitement: Breaking away from evil mentor/puppetmaster Jerry Bruckheimer for the first time, Bay (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor) takes on the hot-button issue of human cloning, giving audiences reason to scratch their chins as they're being pounded by loud, thrillingly incoherent action sequences. McGregor and Johansson are playing clones who try to escape a system designed to "harvest" them for spare parts, and they have too much integrity as artists to sign onto a dumb commercial project for mercenary reasons. Right?
Probable cause for disappointment: Heady science fiction from Michael Bay? Pfft. Only those who consider Pearl Harbor an austere, sobering account of America's darkest day instead of a vulgar excuse for star-fucking and blowing up ships will purchase that bill of goods. And after the Robert De Niro/Greg Kinnear laugher Godsend, the bar for human cloning movies has been set too high.
The Dukes Of Hazzard
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Cast: Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson
Causes for excitement: Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg. Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse. Waylon Jennings reprising his old Dukes Of Hazzard theme song. The '70s are coming alive again, tongue pretty firmly in cheek, courtesy of Jay Chandrasekhar of the Broken Lizard comedy troupe. Look for a lot of car-leaping, car-crashing, dynamite-arrow-shooting, short-shorts-wearing, yee-hawing action.
Probable cause for disappointment: The Duke boys with grungy facial hair? Jackass star Johnny Knoxville as Luke Duke? Stifler from American Pie as Bo Duke? It's almost like the people behind this film have no respect for the original TV series' clean-cut, all-American, good-ol'-boy way of life, not to mention its frequent-shirtlessness aesthetic. Do people really want to see a half-naked Seann William Scott totin' hay-bales?
The Pink Panther
Director: Shawn Levy
Cast: Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Beyoncé Knowles
Causes for excitement: There is no law forcing anyone to see it.
Probable cause for disappointment: It exists.
On the other hand, all this relentless negativity could be totally misplaced. Maybe this is the summer where everyone gets it right. The comedies will be filled with laughs, the thrillers filled with thrills, and the remakes of old TV shows not totally inconsequential. Yeah! Hooray for movies! Let's all go buy some tickets!
Monday, May 9
Tell Us Something We Didn't Know
Amazing Race news......
In their post-elimination interview with TV Guide, Meredith and Gretchen confirm what Romber haters have thought all along about their effect on the race: "it wasn't a totally level playing field." Meredith says, "People recognized him and Amber throughout the race and were falling over themselves to offer them a hand. You saw his character on Survivor and he was no different in this game." She says that, specifically, Rob is "a very manipulative guy and it came out on the race. I think viewers will make their own judgment as to how he played the game."
And a reminder to all you AR fans... the big finale is Tuesday night! 2 hours of long, drawn-out fun!
In their post-elimination interview with TV Guide, Meredith and Gretchen confirm what Romber haters have thought all along about their effect on the race: "it wasn't a totally level playing field." Meredith says, "People recognized him and Amber throughout the race and were falling over themselves to offer them a hand. You saw his character on Survivor and he was no different in this game." She says that, specifically, Rob is "a very manipulative guy and it came out on the race. I think viewers will make their own judgment as to how he played the game."
And a reminder to all you AR fans... the big finale is Tuesday night! 2 hours of long, drawn-out fun!
Lady Lost
From NY Post:
May 9, 2005 --The hit series "Lost" is threaded through with storylines - there are more than 13 characters in the ensemble portraying crash survivors on an island in the Pacific. But Yunjin Kim's demure Sun has been one of the highlights.
At the outset, Sun and her possessive husband, Jin-Soo (Daniel Dae Kim), spoke only in Korean and isolated themselves from the rest of the survivors. Recently, though, Sun revealed that she speaks English and proved that she possesses more inner strength than anyone, including her husband, had imagined.
Kim, 31, grew up on Staten Island but has called Seoul, South Korea, home for the past eight years.
Will all the secrets of the island be revealed on the finale of "Lost" (May 25)? I think the writers will give us something, but I think it will be another cliffhanger. You have to come back for the second season. For us, it's frustrating, too. We are just as much in the dark as the rest of the audience. We get our scripts pretty late. Sometimes we get them the day before we go to shoot, which is fine because you are only doing eight pages a day, and I don't say very much. But now, with Sun speaking English, you have a lot more dialogue. Thank God everyone knows now (that the character can speak English). I can mingle with others. I can get involved in other people's crises. There are some characters Sun has never even talked to! Still, I get this fan mail from all over the world that says they kind of wish that Sun doesn't speak English or just speaks Korean. They liked the fact I didn't say much. They said sometimes they didn't need to read the subtitles to understand what was going on.
Wasn't the reaction from the Asian community rather negative to Sun and Jin-Soo? In the very beginning, we were sort of portrayed as a bad stereotype of an Asian couple - the subservient wife and domineering husband. But I kept on saying that you have to watch the characters because they will continue to grow, and you will see the reason why he is treating her that way and why she is reacting that way. In the beginning, I was really concerned that the whole Asian community would be turned off.
Every character on "Lost" is an archetype, and ... once they are in motion, they break away (from the archetype). Sun's defining moment was defying Jin-Soo by wearing the bikini. I got more response from coming out in a bikini. I thought it was really silly. They thought it was very symbolic, and I thought it wasn't like just a girl in a bikini - it had a meaning. It was Sun finally putting her foot down and saying, "I am going to go and take a swim."
May 9, 2005 --The hit series "Lost" is threaded through with storylines - there are more than 13 characters in the ensemble portraying crash survivors on an island in the Pacific. But Yunjin Kim's demure Sun has been one of the highlights.
At the outset, Sun and her possessive husband, Jin-Soo (Daniel Dae Kim), spoke only in Korean and isolated themselves from the rest of the survivors. Recently, though, Sun revealed that she speaks English and proved that she possesses more inner strength than anyone, including her husband, had imagined.
Kim, 31, grew up on Staten Island but has called Seoul, South Korea, home for the past eight years.
Will all the secrets of the island be revealed on the finale of "Lost" (May 25)? I think the writers will give us something, but I think it will be another cliffhanger. You have to come back for the second season. For us, it's frustrating, too. We are just as much in the dark as the rest of the audience. We get our scripts pretty late. Sometimes we get them the day before we go to shoot, which is fine because you are only doing eight pages a day, and I don't say very much. But now, with Sun speaking English, you have a lot more dialogue. Thank God everyone knows now (that the character can speak English). I can mingle with others. I can get involved in other people's crises. There are some characters Sun has never even talked to! Still, I get this fan mail from all over the world that says they kind of wish that Sun doesn't speak English or just speaks Korean. They liked the fact I didn't say much. They said sometimes they didn't need to read the subtitles to understand what was going on.
Wasn't the reaction from the Asian community rather negative to Sun and Jin-Soo? In the very beginning, we were sort of portrayed as a bad stereotype of an Asian couple - the subservient wife and domineering husband. But I kept on saying that you have to watch the characters because they will continue to grow, and you will see the reason why he is treating her that way and why she is reacting that way. In the beginning, I was really concerned that the whole Asian community would be turned off.
Every character on "Lost" is an archetype, and ... once they are in motion, they break away (from the archetype). Sun's defining moment was defying Jin-Soo by wearing the bikini. I got more response from coming out in a bikini. I thought it was really silly. They thought it was very symbolic, and I thought it wasn't like just a girl in a bikini - it had a meaning. It was Sun finally putting her foot down and saying, "I am going to go and take a swim."
I Can't Stand It When Jews Talk During Movies
This P.C. column taken from The Onion:
Do you have a pet peeve—some little thing that drives you completely bonkers? For certain people, it's the sound of a Jewish person dragging her fingernails across a chalkboard. For others, it's when Jews don't signal before making a turn. Me? I can't stand it when Jews talk during movies!
Last Friday, I knocked off early from work and headed to the multiplex to catch The Pacifier. Sure enough, as soon as the lights go out, a pack of Jews waltzes in and plunks down right in front of me! All through the first preview, they had to have a Jewish debate about where to put their coats and who should hold the Twizzlers. What's wrong with these idiots? If you want to chat, go to a coffee shop, or that Jewish community center down on Cavendish Avenue.
Where did these people learn to whisper? An Israeli helicopter?
I sure didn't pay $10 to listen to a group of twits talk back to the screen like those obnoxious Jewish robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000! And apparently, "God's chosen people" weren't selected based on their ability to follow plotlines. No wonder they wandered the desert for so many years—they can't even watch a Vin Diesel movie without getting lost.
It would help if management took stronger action against this total lack of regard. A sign saying, "Jews: Kindly refrain from talking during the film" couldn't hurt. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. That theater was as loud as an Elders of Zion meeting. Is it asking too much to expect a little courtesy from your fellow moviegoers? I guess some people just weren't raised gentile.
Look, I enjoy eating popcorn while taking in a flick, but at least I have the presence of mind to keep my munching to a conscientious level. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who wasn't raised in a barn where special precautions are taken to slaughter livestock in accordance with Jewish laws and traditions.
If you can keep kosher, why can't you keep quiet?
And how many times can these descendants of Abraham possibly need to use the washroom? If you have to go that often, sit near an aisle and leave the middle seats for those of us who aren't circumcised. You guys may not believe in the doctrine of original sin, but everyone agrees that failing to turn off your cell phone before the movie starts is just plain rude! I swear, the next time a phone goes off, someone's getting a yarmulke shoved down his throat.
If there were some other way to see movies, I'd do it. I've tried renting movies, only to have the film interrupted midway through by a Jewish telemarketer or the sounds of the Jews upstairs blasting their rap music. I can only imagine what that guy with the fiddler on his roof went through. It's the Jewish year 5766, for cripes sake! It's time to learn some courtesy.
Do you have a pet peeve—some little thing that drives you completely bonkers? For certain people, it's the sound of a Jewish person dragging her fingernails across a chalkboard. For others, it's when Jews don't signal before making a turn. Me? I can't stand it when Jews talk during movies!
Last Friday, I knocked off early from work and headed to the multiplex to catch The Pacifier. Sure enough, as soon as the lights go out, a pack of Jews waltzes in and plunks down right in front of me! All through the first preview, they had to have a Jewish debate about where to put their coats and who should hold the Twizzlers. What's wrong with these idiots? If you want to chat, go to a coffee shop, or that Jewish community center down on Cavendish Avenue.
Where did these people learn to whisper? An Israeli helicopter?
I sure didn't pay $10 to listen to a group of twits talk back to the screen like those obnoxious Jewish robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000! And apparently, "God's chosen people" weren't selected based on their ability to follow plotlines. No wonder they wandered the desert for so many years—they can't even watch a Vin Diesel movie without getting lost.
It would help if management took stronger action against this total lack of regard. A sign saying, "Jews: Kindly refrain from talking during the film" couldn't hurt. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. That theater was as loud as an Elders of Zion meeting. Is it asking too much to expect a little courtesy from your fellow moviegoers? I guess some people just weren't raised gentile.
Look, I enjoy eating popcorn while taking in a flick, but at least I have the presence of mind to keep my munching to a conscientious level. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who wasn't raised in a barn where special precautions are taken to slaughter livestock in accordance with Jewish laws and traditions.
If you can keep kosher, why can't you keep quiet?
And how many times can these descendants of Abraham possibly need to use the washroom? If you have to go that often, sit near an aisle and leave the middle seats for those of us who aren't circumcised. You guys may not believe in the doctrine of original sin, but everyone agrees that failing to turn off your cell phone before the movie starts is just plain rude! I swear, the next time a phone goes off, someone's getting a yarmulke shoved down his throat.
If there were some other way to see movies, I'd do it. I've tried renting movies, only to have the film interrupted midway through by a Jewish telemarketer or the sounds of the Jews upstairs blasting their rap music. I can only imagine what that guy with the fiddler on his roof went through. It's the Jewish year 5766, for cripes sake! It's time to learn some courtesy.
BenGar Baby Watch
From Defamer:
Call off the Jennifer Garner WombWatch! While we were rolling on Saturday and hugging tourists on the Third Street Promenade, one kind stranger escaped our chemically-induced love-clinch and asked if we were so happy because Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced that they’ve created another human life deep underneath her Alias-toned abs. So now that we’re finally hugged out and back in front of the internets: Huzzah! We’re especially elated that the couple’s canny PR team observed the Order of Operations for a celebrity knocking-up: engagement first, fertilized eggs second.
Call off the Jennifer Garner WombWatch! While we were rolling on Saturday and hugging tourists on the Third Street Promenade, one kind stranger escaped our chemically-induced love-clinch and asked if we were so happy because Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced that they’ve created another human life deep underneath her Alias-toned abs. So now that we’re finally hugged out and back in front of the internets: Huzzah! We’re especially elated that the couple’s canny PR team observed the Order of Operations for a celebrity knocking-up: engagement first, fertilized eggs second.
So what are the implications for "Alias?"
J. Garner is pregnant. I guess the rumors that Sydney Bristow is pregnant may be true? Could be good, with Lena Olin coming back. The show could explore, in greater detail, what it takes to be a mother. They've certainly explored the same idea with fathers.
Ouch
Weezer's new album, Make Believe, recieved a 0.4 out of 10.0 on Pitchforkmedia.com, one of the most respected music sites on the net. Yes, that's a zero-point-four out of ten-point-oh. Money quote:
"Weezer have been given a lot of breaks in their second era-- both The Green Album and Maladroit were cut miles of slack despite consisting of little more than slightly above-average power-pop. The obvious reason for this lenience has to do with the mean age of rock critics, and the fact that most of these mid-20s scribes were at their absolute peak for bias-forming melodrama when The Blue Album and Pinkerton were released. Even for someone like me, who came late to the Weezer appreciation club, it was impossible to hear these "comeback" albums without the echoes of the earlier alt-rock pillars ringing in our ears."
It then goes on to say that Weezer deserves no more breaks and that, "Sometimes an album is just awful. Make Believe is one of those albums."
I've never been a huge fan of Weezer but found mild joy at a couple of their albums. I think I'll waste my time on other big-name albums coming out soon (like Audioslave, whose new single is just damn good).
"Weezer have been given a lot of breaks in their second era-- both The Green Album and Maladroit were cut miles of slack despite consisting of little more than slightly above-average power-pop. The obvious reason for this lenience has to do with the mean age of rock critics, and the fact that most of these mid-20s scribes were at their absolute peak for bias-forming melodrama when The Blue Album and Pinkerton were released. Even for someone like me, who came late to the Weezer appreciation club, it was impossible to hear these "comeback" albums without the echoes of the earlier alt-rock pillars ringing in our ears."
It then goes on to say that Weezer deserves no more breaks and that, "Sometimes an album is just awful. Make Believe is one of those albums."
I've never been a huge fan of Weezer but found mild joy at a couple of their albums. I think I'll waste my time on other big-name albums coming out soon (like Audioslave, whose new single is just damn good).
Denial Is The First Sign Of A Problem
Jessica Simpson denies rumors of she and Fred Durst having an affair.
Osbourne Family Happenings
Apparently Ozzy recently announced he suffers from Parkin Syndrome, not to be confused with the effects of long-time drug and alcohol abuse.
In a related story, Kelly Osbourne announced that all her drug and alcohol issues are due to "bad genes". I guess that absolves her of all responsibility of actually taking pills and drinking alcohol, huh?
Now she can look forward to Parkin Syndrome, too. How fun!
In a related story, Kelly Osbourne announced that all her drug and alcohol issues are due to "bad genes". I guess that absolves her of all responsibility of actually taking pills and drinking alcohol, huh?
Now she can look forward to Parkin Syndrome, too. How fun!
Sunday, May 8
Don't Hate Me.....
But I had an awesome time this weekend. Yep... I went to Donkey Ball on Saturday night. Now, don't be jealous and be all hatin' on me because I got to go and you didn't!!
Actually, I must lead one of the most boring lives ever.... I went to Donkey Ball!! It was an event to help support the local school and teams of 4 played against one another, including teachers, administrative staff, students and jocks from the local radio station. It was a riot. I've never seen anything like it and probably won't ever again. Those donkeys sure have a mind of their own!
Actually, I must lead one of the most boring lives ever.... I went to Donkey Ball!! It was an event to help support the local school and teams of 4 played against one another, including teachers, administrative staff, students and jocks from the local radio station. It was a riot. I've never seen anything like it and probably won't ever again. Those donkeys sure have a mind of their own!
Friday, May 6
Survive This!
From EW:
''That little trip that they took may cost them big.'' —Tom (a.k.a. Robosurvivor)
Funny, I said the exact same thing the second Gregg, Jenn, and Katiee (I mean, Katie) took off for their little reward-challenge overnight getaway. Then I realized I was talking to myself, so I shut the hell up. But seriously, when has going on one of these rewards ever turned out to be a good thing? The answer? Never! It's a bad thing — a bad, bad, bad thing! Never, ever separate yourself from the tribe and give them a chance to strategize against you. And if you do win it, for Probst's sake don't take an ally. Remember how that turned out for Burton and Johnny Fairplay in the Pearl Islands? They left that wacky Boy Scout troop leader for a few hours, and look what happened. She flipped like freakin' Mary Lou Retton!
All of this came as a result of what people on the Survivor crew refer to as a ''f--- you'' challenge. A ''f--- you'' challenge is basically one in which players are forced to take other players out of the game. ''F--- you'' challenges rule, because they always end up either opening players' eyes as to where they stand in the pecking order or creating rifts that didn't exist before. (Yes, Katie and Ian, that would be you.) Personally, I couldn't care less about Palau trivia, but watching Gregg make a deal with Katie, then ask permission from Jenn to pull her switch (it's not what it sounds like), then get called out by Jeff Probst for asking permission, and then turn around and break his deal with Katie was all pretty fantastic stuff. And for what? A stupid overnight stay on the Palau Aggression II?
But as if Gregg — who until this episode I always pegged as a very cunning player — didn't screw all that up enough, he then invited his girlfriend and Katie to go along with him. ''I'll pay you back,'' he told Tom and Ian. ''No, we'll pay you back,'' replied Robosurvivor. And, oh, they did. Now, I know there has been a lot of Haterade being consumed by some of you Tom naysayers out there, but you have to give Ian and him props for not only dominating every single challenge but also recognizing a developing threat and immediately neutralizing it. The only person that smacked Gregg's ass harder was . . . well, Gregg's best friend, Greg.
The whole Tom-Ian-Caryn alliance had me excited. Partly because I don't want to see Jenn and Katie in the finals. But more so because I was pumped for a little colored-rock action. We haven't seen this little hellion since Marquesas, and as anyone who — warning: shameless plug approaching — read Jeff Probst's article in EW a few months back knows, that time it wasn't even done correctly. So I was all fired up to see someone get Paschaled into oblivion. But then Mr. 10-Foot-High Dolphin Trainer had to go and tell Katie, thereby sending the colored rock back into its lonely little sack.
That's not to say tribal council wasn't entertaining. I don't know what was more gratifying — seeing Jenn's look of horror after her main man got the heave ho, or watching Coby ham it up in the jury. I will say this for Gregg — he may have an extra consonant at the end of his name, but he reacted like a pro. He realized he'd been outplayed, and he didn't take it personally. He was a big man about it. A big man who made one big mistake. Hope it was worth it, dude.
''That little trip that they took may cost them big.'' —Tom (a.k.a. Robosurvivor)
Funny, I said the exact same thing the second Gregg, Jenn, and Katiee (I mean, Katie) took off for their little reward-challenge overnight getaway. Then I realized I was talking to myself, so I shut the hell up. But seriously, when has going on one of these rewards ever turned out to be a good thing? The answer? Never! It's a bad thing — a bad, bad, bad thing! Never, ever separate yourself from the tribe and give them a chance to strategize against you. And if you do win it, for Probst's sake don't take an ally. Remember how that turned out for Burton and Johnny Fairplay in the Pearl Islands? They left that wacky Boy Scout troop leader for a few hours, and look what happened. She flipped like freakin' Mary Lou Retton!
All of this came as a result of what people on the Survivor crew refer to as a ''f--- you'' challenge. A ''f--- you'' challenge is basically one in which players are forced to take other players out of the game. ''F--- you'' challenges rule, because they always end up either opening players' eyes as to where they stand in the pecking order or creating rifts that didn't exist before. (Yes, Katie and Ian, that would be you.) Personally, I couldn't care less about Palau trivia, but watching Gregg make a deal with Katie, then ask permission from Jenn to pull her switch (it's not what it sounds like), then get called out by Jeff Probst for asking permission, and then turn around and break his deal with Katie was all pretty fantastic stuff. And for what? A stupid overnight stay on the Palau Aggression II?
But as if Gregg — who until this episode I always pegged as a very cunning player — didn't screw all that up enough, he then invited his girlfriend and Katie to go along with him. ''I'll pay you back,'' he told Tom and Ian. ''No, we'll pay you back,'' replied Robosurvivor. And, oh, they did. Now, I know there has been a lot of Haterade being consumed by some of you Tom naysayers out there, but you have to give Ian and him props for not only dominating every single challenge but also recognizing a developing threat and immediately neutralizing it. The only person that smacked Gregg's ass harder was . . . well, Gregg's best friend, Greg.
The whole Tom-Ian-Caryn alliance had me excited. Partly because I don't want to see Jenn and Katie in the finals. But more so because I was pumped for a little colored-rock action. We haven't seen this little hellion since Marquesas, and as anyone who — warning: shameless plug approaching — read Jeff Probst's article in EW a few months back knows, that time it wasn't even done correctly. So I was all fired up to see someone get Paschaled into oblivion. But then Mr. 10-Foot-High Dolphin Trainer had to go and tell Katie, thereby sending the colored rock back into its lonely little sack.
That's not to say tribal council wasn't entertaining. I don't know what was more gratifying — seeing Jenn's look of horror after her main man got the heave ho, or watching Coby ham it up in the jury. I will say this for Gregg — he may have an extra consonant at the end of his name, but he reacted like a pro. He realized he'd been outplayed, and he didn't take it personally. He was a big man about it. A big man who made one big mistake. Hope it was worth it, dude.
Thursday, May 5
Disturbing
Star Magazine needs to stop predicting what a celebrity couple's baby will look like by morphing two pictures together. If a baby came out looking like Star's prediction, the celebrity parents would likely throw it away.
Chappelle's MIA
Where'd he go? Apparently Comedy Central doesn't even know. His show has suspended production, as it seems Dave has gone missing. Updates to come.
Big Brother
He's coming sooner than you think...
At the Ad:Tech conference in San Francisco last week, advertising experts contemplated a variety of approaches, ranging from round-the-clock automated ad tracking to simply reducing the number of ads per show, that could make it easier for advertisers to reach an increasingly fragmented viewing public.
To measure the impact of ad campaigns, VNU, the parent company of television-audience measurement firm Nielsen Media Research, and Arbitron, the media research firm, are developing an experimental program called Project Apollo that takes the concept of viewer tracking to a level of unprecedented detail.
The project, which the companies hope to roll out on a trial basis next year, will require participants to carry a pager-sized device that records all advertising messages to which its wearer is exposed. Participants will also record everything they buy, so that advertisers can figure out exactly which messages made an impact. (WIRED NEWS)
At the Ad:Tech conference in San Francisco last week, advertising experts contemplated a variety of approaches, ranging from round-the-clock automated ad tracking to simply reducing the number of ads per show, that could make it easier for advertisers to reach an increasingly fragmented viewing public.
To measure the impact of ad campaigns, VNU, the parent company of television-audience measurement firm Nielsen Media Research, and Arbitron, the media research firm, are developing an experimental program called Project Apollo that takes the concept of viewer tracking to a level of unprecedented detail.
The project, which the companies hope to roll out on a trial basis next year, will require participants to carry a pager-sized device that records all advertising messages to which its wearer is exposed. Participants will also record everything they buy, so that advertisers can figure out exactly which messages made an impact. (WIRED NEWS)
Magazine Advertising
Has anyone else seen the advertising campaign for magazines? I work in advertising and get about 20 magazines a day in the mail. Lately, they've all had "covers" from the future (2105, to be exact). Examples:
-Newsweek: "California Island: More popular than ever 62 years after the Big Quake."
-Sports Illustrated: "Hell Freezes Over: Cubs win 2105 World Series."
Just wondering if anyone else had noticed. I guess the point is to tell advertisers that, hey, magazines might be around a long time. Maybe you should advertising with us.
-Newsweek: "California Island: More popular than ever 62 years after the Big Quake."
-Sports Illustrated: "Hell Freezes Over: Cubs win 2105 World Series."
Just wondering if anyone else had noticed. I guess the point is to tell advertisers that, hey, magazines might be around a long time. Maybe you should advertising with us.
Best Night Ever
Scott Savol finally got kicked off. I was surprised Paula didn't dry hump him before he left.
Did anyone watch Primetime Live? What a load of crap. Who the hell would trust Corey Clark. Yes, Paula if fuctup. No, Corey Clark is not honest. What a loser. And his music sucks, too. And quite honestly, Primetime Live sucks, too. That must be the lowest quality news program on television (not including anything on Fox News).
Did anyone watch Primetime Live? What a load of crap. Who the hell would trust Corey Clark. Yes, Paula if fuctup. No, Corey Clark is not honest. What a loser. And his music sucks, too. And quite honestly, Primetime Live sucks, too. That must be the lowest quality news program on television (not including anything on Fox News).
Lost Recap
From EW :
We learned a lot extra about Sayid and are having trouble determining whether Charlie's obsession with Claire and her baby, Turnip Head, is okay or not so okay. And the biggest news of all: It was Locke who sabotaged Sayid's efforts to triangulate the radio signal. Locke said that he ''did what was in everyone's best interest'' and that ''back then'' the castaways were all so focused on getting off the island that they weren't ''seeing things clearly.'' Okay, but judging by the progress on the raft and next week's previews, it seems they're still pretty focused on that goal.
I'm not sure what changed for Locke, but his sudden opening up to Sayid was kind of a tease — it suggested we might finally figure out what the hell he's been talking about this whole time, but we didn't learn very much. Especially after seeing him possibly die in the previews, I figured this episode would open up the Locke box of secrets. Let's go through our Locke checklist. Dead? No. Strange? Completely. Liar? Sometimes. Evil? Maybe. Powerfully omniscient being? Oh, yeah. But we already knew all of this. So here's what else happened.
The gang gathered round to bury Boone. Jack asked Shannon if there was anything in that pretty little head of hers she'd like to share. Stupid question. It seemed no one would say a word until Sayid swept in with an honorable speech about the young, courageous lad that can be paraphrased thusly: ''I'm hoping to bang his sister.'' Suddenly Locke appeared, all revved up from presumably spending the night with his face pressed up against the glowing Hatch. He confessed that Boone had fallen inside a plane, not off a cliff as he'd previously said. He was sorry he'd lied, and he called Boone a hero, which prompted Jack to tackle Locke to the ground. I can't blame him, really. None of the islanders had the privilege we had of watching multiple episodes of the prophet-disciple bonding that went on between Locke and Boone. For all Jack knew, Locke was a killer.
But wait! Before anything else could happen, Jack needed to sleep. Hmmm. Did he really? The soul-sister tag team of Kate and Sun convinced him of it, and right away we knew something was off. How about Kate insisting to Jack that she ''strongly advised'' him to nap? She's doesn't really have the medical training to assess his need for sleep, which suggested to me that she was strongly advising him to stay out of the risky Locke killing until it was over so that the rest of the peeps would still have a hunky doctor to take care of them. Kate's scary, but I enjoyed her matter-of-fact delivery of the line ''I crushed up some sleeping pills, put 'em in your juice.'' (Where did they get juice? Is this Oceanic Airlines-brand juice? Coconut? Jesus? Turnip?)
Meanwhile, Shannon decided that Locke killed Boone. It's not really rational based on their conversation (high points: ''I know what it feels like to lose family'' and ''I'm sorry''), but then again Locke could have increased his credibility by changing into a shirt that wasn't soaked with Boone blood. Shannon ran to Sayid with her theory, and asked him to ''do something about that.'' And . . . it's flashback time.
As it turns out, Sayid knows more than a little about taking big risks for people he cares about. A snooty CIA agent named Melissa conned him into pumping his college roommate (who belonged to an Australian-based Iraqi terrorist cell) for information about stolen explosives by promising Sayid he'd get to see the Woman in the Photo, Nadia, again. If he didn't, she'd have Nadia (whom she called Nora) arrested. After learning that his friend, Essam, planned on blowing himself up in a truck (all for the Greater Good, of course), Sayid acted like he'd go along with Essam until crunch time, when he confessed that he was working for the CIA and in it for a woman. Distraught, Essam told Sayid, ''I hope she makes you whole again,'' before shooting himself. For extra irony, Sayid's insistence on claiming Essam's body before taking off to search for Nadia put him on the doomed Oceanic flight.
Okay, downer. What a dreadful paragraph. Luckily, despite all the hate and deceit and gunplay, the happenings on the island were on the whole more upbeat than the happenings in Sayid's memory. For example, Jin can now say the words good and no. Charlie, Hurley, and Sawyer presented Three Men and a Baby: Tropical Edition while keeping an eye on Turnip Head for a few hours. Hurley also put in a solid effort as a heavyset James Brown who felt good. I'm convinced that it takes two people to write Hurley's lines: One to write them, and another to come in and pencil a ''Dude'' at the beginning of each. Dude, he's so predictable! Dude, I mean awesome. Dude, I didn't mean anything by it.
Now, I love Charlie, too, so it pains me to even suggest this, but did anyone else experience an alarming visual of Charlie drowning the baby after he ''mistakenly'' substituted the word drowned for washed during ''The Itsy-Bitsy Spider''? I thought that was funny — honestly — until my eyes widened with speculation. . . . Oh, man, now I just want to take it back. All the hobbit lovers are going to crash the message board. But it's too late. For a minute there (and at other points throughout the season), I was definitely spooked. Charlie was really intent on taking that baby away from Claire. I know he's like in love with her and a really decent guy — I'm just throwing it out there. Throw it back in my face if you wish. Okay, ouch.
Locke and Sayid had a surprisingly reasonable conversation, after Locke finally wrung out that bloody shirt. As much as he wanted to help Shannon, Sayid the former interrogator knows when he's being lied to, and he believed most of what Locke said about the found plane. He kind of had to, once they actually arrived at the plane. I liked how Sayid went the extra mile to assure us viewers what that powdery substance was. He smacked those luscious lips together and immediately pronounced, ''Heroin.'' Well, that was easy. Thanks (dude).
Then things got almost as bad as Sayid's flashbacks, except not quite, because those involved death. And this episode didn't! Huzzah. That ''necklace'' of Jack's, the one he's probably always had on but this time we all noticed in his first few scenes and pointed out to our Lost-watching buddies as something of key importance, was missing. It's hard to say who stole the key to the gun-filled briefcase. Shannon ended up with the gun, but I'm going with Kate as the one who probably slid the key off Jack's neck. She's slithery like a snake.
Jack, Kate, and Sayid sprinted to an exact location in the jungle, because the jungle's convenient like that, and found Locke at Shannon's gunpoint. Instead of whipping out the gun Locke just gave him and freaking everyone the hell out, Sayid performed Tackle No. 2 of the night and took Shannon to the ground, just as he's always wanted to. Locke's head bled, but that was it. Boom. Shannon, you Lost.
For the penultimate tying-flashbacks-to-the-present line, Sayid told Kate, ''There's always a choice.'' This time, he went against love (if that's what it is). Sayid might have lost out with Shannon, who flipped out and walked (rather calmly, I thought) away from her brief Lockedown. (Not funny.) But now Sayid can take us further with Locke, whom he called ''our best hope of surviving.'' I admire the difficult balance this show has managed to achieve concerning the group's collective opinion of Locke. It's easy to distrust him day to day, but you can tell the castaways all somehow sense he's in charge and leading them through whatever/wherever this island is. We only get hints of this acknowledgement, but it looks to be more prominent in the weeks ahead.
What do you think? Is Sayid truly in love with Shannon, or does he just feel the need to protect someone? How does Walt know about the Hatch? And what happens when Turnip Head runs out of diapers?
We learned a lot extra about Sayid and are having trouble determining whether Charlie's obsession with Claire and her baby, Turnip Head, is okay or not so okay. And the biggest news of all: It was Locke who sabotaged Sayid's efforts to triangulate the radio signal. Locke said that he ''did what was in everyone's best interest'' and that ''back then'' the castaways were all so focused on getting off the island that they weren't ''seeing things clearly.'' Okay, but judging by the progress on the raft and next week's previews, it seems they're still pretty focused on that goal.
I'm not sure what changed for Locke, but his sudden opening up to Sayid was kind of a tease — it suggested we might finally figure out what the hell he's been talking about this whole time, but we didn't learn very much. Especially after seeing him possibly die in the previews, I figured this episode would open up the Locke box of secrets. Let's go through our Locke checklist. Dead? No. Strange? Completely. Liar? Sometimes. Evil? Maybe. Powerfully omniscient being? Oh, yeah. But we already knew all of this. So here's what else happened.
The gang gathered round to bury Boone. Jack asked Shannon if there was anything in that pretty little head of hers she'd like to share. Stupid question. It seemed no one would say a word until Sayid swept in with an honorable speech about the young, courageous lad that can be paraphrased thusly: ''I'm hoping to bang his sister.'' Suddenly Locke appeared, all revved up from presumably spending the night with his face pressed up against the glowing Hatch. He confessed that Boone had fallen inside a plane, not off a cliff as he'd previously said. He was sorry he'd lied, and he called Boone a hero, which prompted Jack to tackle Locke to the ground. I can't blame him, really. None of the islanders had the privilege we had of watching multiple episodes of the prophet-disciple bonding that went on between Locke and Boone. For all Jack knew, Locke was a killer.
But wait! Before anything else could happen, Jack needed to sleep. Hmmm. Did he really? The soul-sister tag team of Kate and Sun convinced him of it, and right away we knew something was off. How about Kate insisting to Jack that she ''strongly advised'' him to nap? She's doesn't really have the medical training to assess his need for sleep, which suggested to me that she was strongly advising him to stay out of the risky Locke killing until it was over so that the rest of the peeps would still have a hunky doctor to take care of them. Kate's scary, but I enjoyed her matter-of-fact delivery of the line ''I crushed up some sleeping pills, put 'em in your juice.'' (Where did they get juice? Is this Oceanic Airlines-brand juice? Coconut? Jesus? Turnip?)
Meanwhile, Shannon decided that Locke killed Boone. It's not really rational based on their conversation (high points: ''I know what it feels like to lose family'' and ''I'm sorry''), but then again Locke could have increased his credibility by changing into a shirt that wasn't soaked with Boone blood. Shannon ran to Sayid with her theory, and asked him to ''do something about that.'' And . . . it's flashback time.
As it turns out, Sayid knows more than a little about taking big risks for people he cares about. A snooty CIA agent named Melissa conned him into pumping his college roommate (who belonged to an Australian-based Iraqi terrorist cell) for information about stolen explosives by promising Sayid he'd get to see the Woman in the Photo, Nadia, again. If he didn't, she'd have Nadia (whom she called Nora) arrested. After learning that his friend, Essam, planned on blowing himself up in a truck (all for the Greater Good, of course), Sayid acted like he'd go along with Essam until crunch time, when he confessed that he was working for the CIA and in it for a woman. Distraught, Essam told Sayid, ''I hope she makes you whole again,'' before shooting himself. For extra irony, Sayid's insistence on claiming Essam's body before taking off to search for Nadia put him on the doomed Oceanic flight.
Okay, downer. What a dreadful paragraph. Luckily, despite all the hate and deceit and gunplay, the happenings on the island were on the whole more upbeat than the happenings in Sayid's memory. For example, Jin can now say the words good and no. Charlie, Hurley, and Sawyer presented Three Men and a Baby: Tropical Edition while keeping an eye on Turnip Head for a few hours. Hurley also put in a solid effort as a heavyset James Brown who felt good. I'm convinced that it takes two people to write Hurley's lines: One to write them, and another to come in and pencil a ''Dude'' at the beginning of each. Dude, he's so predictable! Dude, I mean awesome. Dude, I didn't mean anything by it.
Now, I love Charlie, too, so it pains me to even suggest this, but did anyone else experience an alarming visual of Charlie drowning the baby after he ''mistakenly'' substituted the word drowned for washed during ''The Itsy-Bitsy Spider''? I thought that was funny — honestly — until my eyes widened with speculation. . . . Oh, man, now I just want to take it back. All the hobbit lovers are going to crash the message board. But it's too late. For a minute there (and at other points throughout the season), I was definitely spooked. Charlie was really intent on taking that baby away from Claire. I know he's like in love with her and a really decent guy — I'm just throwing it out there. Throw it back in my face if you wish. Okay, ouch.
Locke and Sayid had a surprisingly reasonable conversation, after Locke finally wrung out that bloody shirt. As much as he wanted to help Shannon, Sayid the former interrogator knows when he's being lied to, and he believed most of what Locke said about the found plane. He kind of had to, once they actually arrived at the plane. I liked how Sayid went the extra mile to assure us viewers what that powdery substance was. He smacked those luscious lips together and immediately pronounced, ''Heroin.'' Well, that was easy. Thanks (dude).
Then things got almost as bad as Sayid's flashbacks, except not quite, because those involved death. And this episode didn't! Huzzah. That ''necklace'' of Jack's, the one he's probably always had on but this time we all noticed in his first few scenes and pointed out to our Lost-watching buddies as something of key importance, was missing. It's hard to say who stole the key to the gun-filled briefcase. Shannon ended up with the gun, but I'm going with Kate as the one who probably slid the key off Jack's neck. She's slithery like a snake.
Jack, Kate, and Sayid sprinted to an exact location in the jungle, because the jungle's convenient like that, and found Locke at Shannon's gunpoint. Instead of whipping out the gun Locke just gave him and freaking everyone the hell out, Sayid performed Tackle No. 2 of the night and took Shannon to the ground, just as he's always wanted to. Locke's head bled, but that was it. Boom. Shannon, you Lost.
For the penultimate tying-flashbacks-to-the-present line, Sayid told Kate, ''There's always a choice.'' This time, he went against love (if that's what it is). Sayid might have lost out with Shannon, who flipped out and walked (rather calmly, I thought) away from her brief Lockedown. (Not funny.) But now Sayid can take us further with Locke, whom he called ''our best hope of surviving.'' I admire the difficult balance this show has managed to achieve concerning the group's collective opinion of Locke. It's easy to distrust him day to day, but you can tell the castaways all somehow sense he's in charge and leading them through whatever/wherever this island is. We only get hints of this acknowledgement, but it looks to be more prominent in the weeks ahead.
What do you think? Is Sayid truly in love with Shannon, or does he just feel the need to protect someone? How does Walt know about the Hatch? And what happens when Turnip Head runs out of diapers?
Scott Booted!
From EW:
Maybe pride really does goeth before a fall.
After boldly stating during his Tuesday-night postperformance interview that he needed to start selecting his songs for next week — and then misguidedly thinking Ryan Seacrest had told him he was safe during Wednesday's results show — Scott Savol got a rude awakening from American Idol viewers, who gave him the lowest number of votes among the final five contestants. Was that a collective sigh of relief from EW.com readers we heard around 9:29pm EDT?
Indeed, while many of you noted that Scott's performance of ''On Broadway'' was his best in weeks — and certainly no worse than Anthony Fedorov's abysmal ''Poison Ivy'' — our message boards reflected a feverish desire to see Scott eliminated, mixed with concern that either Anthony or Vonzell Solomon would get the ax instead.
Apparently, Scott also felt that the others were more likely to be rejected. When Seacrest sent the surly Ohio native from center stage to sit on the couch alongside A-Fed, Scott looked to the sky, blew a kiss, and thanked God. What he failed to realize, though, was that the Idol host never said he was safe, and in fact, Scott and Anthony were the week's bottom two.
Debbie in Glen Burnie correctly predicted the outcome, arguing that while Anthony isn't good enough to win the competition, this week was Scott's turn to go home. ''His sad stories have carried him far enough,'' she said, referring to the contestant's early-season revelation that his father never thought he'd succeed as a singer.
Many readers said their goodwill toward Scott evaporated when he began mouthing off to Simon and giving hostile looks to the judges' panel whenever they offered him a critique. ''Even though Scott's singing makes my ears hurt and my dogs howl,'' wrote Miztaz, ''it's his crummy attitude that really hacks me off.''
Ohiogal027, meanwhile, said Scott's vocals were all the reason she needed to root against him. ''Singing like Scott on national TV should be illegal,'' she wrote. ''Heck, it should be illegal in your own home!'' GaryRSA probably wouldn't argue against that opinion, but he was secretly rooting for Scott anyway: ''There is a perverse part of me that wants to see Scott Savol win it all, if only to watch his inevitable and atomically spectacular fall from grace. I get giddy just thinking about it.''
A few of you, however, felt the big guy on the Idol campus genuinely earned another week in the competition. ''There were many weeks Scott should have been the one to go, but this is not one of them,'' wrote Ally. ''He showed personality and performed well.''
One conspiracy theory popular with readers was that the votefortheworst.com website had played a role in Scott's success to date. A less accepted idea was that Simon's prediction last week that Scott would be eliminated had created a groundswell of sympathy votes for him. Joe, in fact, thought the irascible British judge toned down his anti-Scott rhetoric on Tuesday ''in hopes he would not set off [another] backlash.''
If Scott had somehow managed to avoid elimination this week, most EW readers were worried Anthony (who gave a much-improved performance during the results show) or Vonzell would pay the price, driving some to drastic measures. Joe said he voted an estimated 650 times for A-Fed, but Joe had nothing on VA Fan, who racked up more than 1,000 votes for the Eastern European singing sensation. ''I could complete and redial a call in 7.5 seconds,'' VA Fan wrote, ''so you do the math. I did get 60-100 busy signals though.''
One reader theorized that Simon worked on Vonzell's behalf on Tuesday by warning her fans that she was potentially at risk of elimination. ''Do you remember when he told Jasmine Trias that all of Hawaii had better vote for her?'' asked We Love The Vonz. ''They did. I love and support Vonzell and hope her people called in last night!''
One such person, Laverne, did exactly that, but not for the reasons you might expect. ''I never vote, but I voted for [Vonzell] last night,'' she wrote. ''Why? She sang well. But she looked incredible. I live for the way that brown dress fit her, the hair and makeup. Flawless! What's wrong with a little glamour?''
Absolutely nothing. And Baby V was certainly in fine vocal form during the group rendition of ''Bridge Over Troubled Water'' on Wednesday. My only question: How come Ryan Seacrest attributed the song to Michael W. Smith when everyone knows that it's Simon and Garfunkel who sang it first — and best?
What did you think of the results show? Have we heard the last of Scott Savol, or does he have a future? What do Anthony and Vonzell have to do to contend with the current front-runners, Bo and Carrie? And who do you think deserves to win the whole darn thing?
Maybe pride really does goeth before a fall.
After boldly stating during his Tuesday-night postperformance interview that he needed to start selecting his songs for next week — and then misguidedly thinking Ryan Seacrest had told him he was safe during Wednesday's results show — Scott Savol got a rude awakening from American Idol viewers, who gave him the lowest number of votes among the final five contestants. Was that a collective sigh of relief from EW.com readers we heard around 9:29pm EDT?
Indeed, while many of you noted that Scott's performance of ''On Broadway'' was his best in weeks — and certainly no worse than Anthony Fedorov's abysmal ''Poison Ivy'' — our message boards reflected a feverish desire to see Scott eliminated, mixed with concern that either Anthony or Vonzell Solomon would get the ax instead.
Apparently, Scott also felt that the others were more likely to be rejected. When Seacrest sent the surly Ohio native from center stage to sit on the couch alongside A-Fed, Scott looked to the sky, blew a kiss, and thanked God. What he failed to realize, though, was that the Idol host never said he was safe, and in fact, Scott and Anthony were the week's bottom two.
Debbie in Glen Burnie correctly predicted the outcome, arguing that while Anthony isn't good enough to win the competition, this week was Scott's turn to go home. ''His sad stories have carried him far enough,'' she said, referring to the contestant's early-season revelation that his father never thought he'd succeed as a singer.
Many readers said their goodwill toward Scott evaporated when he began mouthing off to Simon and giving hostile looks to the judges' panel whenever they offered him a critique. ''Even though Scott's singing makes my ears hurt and my dogs howl,'' wrote Miztaz, ''it's his crummy attitude that really hacks me off.''
Ohiogal027, meanwhile, said Scott's vocals were all the reason she needed to root against him. ''Singing like Scott on national TV should be illegal,'' she wrote. ''Heck, it should be illegal in your own home!'' GaryRSA probably wouldn't argue against that opinion, but he was secretly rooting for Scott anyway: ''There is a perverse part of me that wants to see Scott Savol win it all, if only to watch his inevitable and atomically spectacular fall from grace. I get giddy just thinking about it.''
A few of you, however, felt the big guy on the Idol campus genuinely earned another week in the competition. ''There were many weeks Scott should have been the one to go, but this is not one of them,'' wrote Ally. ''He showed personality and performed well.''
One conspiracy theory popular with readers was that the votefortheworst.com website had played a role in Scott's success to date. A less accepted idea was that Simon's prediction last week that Scott would be eliminated had created a groundswell of sympathy votes for him. Joe, in fact, thought the irascible British judge toned down his anti-Scott rhetoric on Tuesday ''in hopes he would not set off [another] backlash.''
If Scott had somehow managed to avoid elimination this week, most EW readers were worried Anthony (who gave a much-improved performance during the results show) or Vonzell would pay the price, driving some to drastic measures. Joe said he voted an estimated 650 times for A-Fed, but Joe had nothing on VA Fan, who racked up more than 1,000 votes for the Eastern European singing sensation. ''I could complete and redial a call in 7.5 seconds,'' VA Fan wrote, ''so you do the math. I did get 60-100 busy signals though.''
One reader theorized that Simon worked on Vonzell's behalf on Tuesday by warning her fans that she was potentially at risk of elimination. ''Do you remember when he told Jasmine Trias that all of Hawaii had better vote for her?'' asked We Love The Vonz. ''They did. I love and support Vonzell and hope her people called in last night!''
One such person, Laverne, did exactly that, but not for the reasons you might expect. ''I never vote, but I voted for [Vonzell] last night,'' she wrote. ''Why? She sang well. But she looked incredible. I live for the way that brown dress fit her, the hair and makeup. Flawless! What's wrong with a little glamour?''
Absolutely nothing. And Baby V was certainly in fine vocal form during the group rendition of ''Bridge Over Troubled Water'' on Wednesday. My only question: How come Ryan Seacrest attributed the song to Michael W. Smith when everyone knows that it's Simon and Garfunkel who sang it first — and best?
What did you think of the results show? Have we heard the last of Scott Savol, or does he have a future? What do Anthony and Vonzell have to do to contend with the current front-runners, Bo and Carrie? And who do you think deserves to win the whole darn thing?
Romber Fans - You're In Luck!
Can't get enough of Rob and Amber? Well, neither can Rob and Amber, which is why they'll be returning to reality TV yet again with a brand new Newlyweds-ish pilot for E! Yes, after three seasons of Survivor, one season of The Amazing Race, a cameo on The Player, and a very special televised wedding ceremony later this month, America's very own reality whores once again mug for the camera as they embark on the over-explored journey that is celebrity marriage. I can't imagine that this will be a totally scintillating series. After all, we love (and hate) Rob for his scheming and villainy, not his day-to-day thoughts and musings. With any luck, this show will provide new insights on the stars, maybe answer some questions: Just how many Boston hats does Rob have? And does Amber ever not gaze upon something with a pleasantly bland ennui? The possibilities are endless.
No word yet on whether this series will be picked up, but insiders at E! assure us that production will begin soon.
No word yet on whether this series will be picked up, but insiders at E! assure us that production will begin soon.
Wednesday, May 4
Finally.... An Answer!
The reason why Scott Savol stayed on American Idol so long?
They were tryiing to use up Ruben's old clothes.
They were tryiing to use up Ruben's old clothes.
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You
There is a lot of new music coming out in the next few months (NIN, Coldplay, Ryan Adams, Weezer, Audioslave, System of a Down, Gorillaz, Oasis, Dream Theater, Huey Lewis and the News, DMB, Backstreet Boys, etc.). I thought I would provide a guide of what's good and what's not. First, a sneak peak of Ryan Adams new one, courtesy of Pitchforkmedia.com. FYI - I loved Gold and Demolition (one of his EPs). Didn't love Rock 'n Roll, but really really like Love is Hell and Heartbreaker. He is really one of my favorites. Here's the review. I can't wait to hear the album:
Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
Cold Roses
7.2 out of 10
In late 2001, Ryan Adams was inadvertently anointed the face-du-jour for "alt-country," an idea scraped off the ink-smeared pages of No Depression and tremulously shot into semi-mainstream consciousness by an over-jubilant, rural-romanticizing press: Adams' "breakthrough" record, Gold, turned out to be a lot more alt-rock than alt-country, and its proper, non-demo follow-up, 2003's spastic Rock N Roll, ditched the pedal steel altogether, embracing, instead, overblown riffs and smarmy vocal mugging. Cold Roses, which follows two weepy acoustic EPs (2003's Love Is Hell Parts One and Two), sees Adams trudging back to his country roots, turning up the twang, curling his cowboy boots into cold, east village pavement, and transforming his frantic yawps into star-fed cries.
Even for Adams' most zealous fans, hunting down new material has never been a particularly pressing concern: The two-disc Cold Roses is one of (a vaguely audacious) three full-length releases planned for 2005 (Jacksonville City Nights is slated to arrive this summer, with 29 expected in the fall), and while Adams has never been an especially sharp judge of his own work, Cold Roses suffers considerably from its double-disc conceit. Overstuffed and vaguely monotonous, the album could be easily whittled down to a single sequence of impressive songs; Instead, it's a meandering, occasionally moving series of mid-tempo laments, some more memorable than others.
Despite ample backing by the Cardinals (guitarists J.P. Bowersock and Cindy Cashdollar, drummer Brad Pemberton, and bassist Catherine Popper; with singer-songwriter Rachael Yamagata, formerly of Chicago's Bumpus, taking guest turns on "Cold Roses" and "Let It Ride"), Cold Roses doesn't feel particularly collaborative; followers of Adams' solo work will recognize loads of parallels to Adams' post-Whiskeytown, 2000 solo debut, Heartbreaker (minus the punk throwdowns).
Cold Roses' most palpable reference point may be American Beauty-era Grateful Dead: Excellent opener "Magnolia Mountain" mixes slow, "Box of Rain" melancholy ("If the morning don't come/ Will you lie to me?/ Will you take me to your bed and lay me down?") with Adams' trademark guitar scrapes and sandpapered howls, while "Cold Roses" is packed with giddy guitar noodling and jam-friendly interludes (even Adams' vocals seem deliberately Garcia-infused, straining and paper-thin, careening off into a smoke-filled sunset.) Meanwhile, nearly every bit of electric guitar on Cold Roses sounds as though it was plucked straight from Dick's vault, all wiggly solos and playful licks, unintentional and woozy.
Lead single "Let It Ride" bounces, proudly shuffling through a laundry-list of country requirements: whining steel guitar, longing mentions of Tennessee and Carolina, nods to the Cumberland River and ferryboats, big, lonesome wails. But "Let It Ride" also employs plenty of weird, Ennio Morricone-inspired western guitar whirls, and Adams' coaxing vocals are undeniable, charmingly sincere and innocent: The resulting song is properly engaging, more classic country than alt-anything.
"Cherry Lane" employs honky-tonk yawping and girl-gone words ("The glass/ It hits the floor" is accompanied by requisite glass-shattering sound effects), while the preciously titled "How Do You Keep Love Alive" mopes along, wearied and oddly pretty, half-sung over a languishing piano line. Adams' songwriting proclivities have always flirted with MOR, adult-alternative sappiness, but for the most part, Cold Roses is clever and uncommonly listenable, far less bombastic and contrived than its predecessor. Even lyrically, Adams is modest and cautiously confessional, careful to avoid the cocky caterwauling that invades much of his back catalogue.
Tellingly, Cold Roses is the first Ryan Adams record not to feature a picture of him on the cover; it's increasingly difficult to say exactly when Adams transitioned from bloated media darling to scrappy underdog, but it happened, and he commandeered the passage all by himself, squirming away from the overblown antics of yesteryear and embracing, instead, the staid earnestness of his roots. It's a welcome return.
Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
Cold Roses
7.2 out of 10
In late 2001, Ryan Adams was inadvertently anointed the face-du-jour for "alt-country," an idea scraped off the ink-smeared pages of No Depression and tremulously shot into semi-mainstream consciousness by an over-jubilant, rural-romanticizing press: Adams' "breakthrough" record, Gold, turned out to be a lot more alt-rock than alt-country, and its proper, non-demo follow-up, 2003's spastic Rock N Roll, ditched the pedal steel altogether, embracing, instead, overblown riffs and smarmy vocal mugging. Cold Roses, which follows two weepy acoustic EPs (2003's Love Is Hell Parts One and Two), sees Adams trudging back to his country roots, turning up the twang, curling his cowboy boots into cold, east village pavement, and transforming his frantic yawps into star-fed cries.
Even for Adams' most zealous fans, hunting down new material has never been a particularly pressing concern: The two-disc Cold Roses is one of (a vaguely audacious) three full-length releases planned for 2005 (Jacksonville City Nights is slated to arrive this summer, with 29 expected in the fall), and while Adams has never been an especially sharp judge of his own work, Cold Roses suffers considerably from its double-disc conceit. Overstuffed and vaguely monotonous, the album could be easily whittled down to a single sequence of impressive songs; Instead, it's a meandering, occasionally moving series of mid-tempo laments, some more memorable than others.
Despite ample backing by the Cardinals (guitarists J.P. Bowersock and Cindy Cashdollar, drummer Brad Pemberton, and bassist Catherine Popper; with singer-songwriter Rachael Yamagata, formerly of Chicago's Bumpus, taking guest turns on "Cold Roses" and "Let It Ride"), Cold Roses doesn't feel particularly collaborative; followers of Adams' solo work will recognize loads of parallels to Adams' post-Whiskeytown, 2000 solo debut, Heartbreaker (minus the punk throwdowns).
Cold Roses' most palpable reference point may be American Beauty-era Grateful Dead: Excellent opener "Magnolia Mountain" mixes slow, "Box of Rain" melancholy ("If the morning don't come/ Will you lie to me?/ Will you take me to your bed and lay me down?") with Adams' trademark guitar scrapes and sandpapered howls, while "Cold Roses" is packed with giddy guitar noodling and jam-friendly interludes (even Adams' vocals seem deliberately Garcia-infused, straining and paper-thin, careening off into a smoke-filled sunset.) Meanwhile, nearly every bit of electric guitar on Cold Roses sounds as though it was plucked straight from Dick's vault, all wiggly solos and playful licks, unintentional and woozy.
Lead single "Let It Ride" bounces, proudly shuffling through a laundry-list of country requirements: whining steel guitar, longing mentions of Tennessee and Carolina, nods to the Cumberland River and ferryboats, big, lonesome wails. But "Let It Ride" also employs plenty of weird, Ennio Morricone-inspired western guitar whirls, and Adams' coaxing vocals are undeniable, charmingly sincere and innocent: The resulting song is properly engaging, more classic country than alt-anything.
"Cherry Lane" employs honky-tonk yawping and girl-gone words ("The glass/ It hits the floor" is accompanied by requisite glass-shattering sound effects), while the preciously titled "How Do You Keep Love Alive" mopes along, wearied and oddly pretty, half-sung over a languishing piano line. Adams' songwriting proclivities have always flirted with MOR, adult-alternative sappiness, but for the most part, Cold Roses is clever and uncommonly listenable, far less bombastic and contrived than its predecessor. Even lyrically, Adams is modest and cautiously confessional, careful to avoid the cocky caterwauling that invades much of his back catalogue.
Tellingly, Cold Roses is the first Ryan Adams record not to feature a picture of him on the cover; it's increasingly difficult to say exactly when Adams transitioned from bloated media darling to scrappy underdog, but it happened, and he commandeered the passage all by himself, squirming away from the overblown antics of yesteryear and embracing, instead, the staid earnestness of his roots. It's a welcome return.
Ann Coulter and the Sanctity of Ass-Fucking
If you read one political blog, read Wonkette:
Lawrence v. Texas made sodomy legal in the Lone Star state, but that doesn't mean it's legal to say "ass-fucking" in public. Or, more specifically, to ask Ann Coulter about anal sex at a public lecture. "You say that you believe in the sanctity of marriage," college sophomore Ajai Raj asked the willowy fortysomething spinster, who was giving a speech at the University of Texas at Austin. "How do you feel about marriages where the man does nothing but fuck his wife up the ass?" Raj was arrested for disorderly conduct, and as far as we know, Coulter kept her thoughts on all-anal connubial bliss to herself. She did, however, say that "a good woman civilizes and inspires a man to strive for something better." In other words, she thinks marriage is like an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But with more ass-banging, or less? — GREG BEATO
Lawrence v. Texas made sodomy legal in the Lone Star state, but that doesn't mean it's legal to say "ass-fucking" in public. Or, more specifically, to ask Ann Coulter about anal sex at a public lecture. "You say that you believe in the sanctity of marriage," college sophomore Ajai Raj asked the willowy fortysomething spinster, who was giving a speech at the University of Texas at Austin. "How do you feel about marriages where the man does nothing but fuck his wife up the ass?" Raj was arrested for disorderly conduct, and as far as we know, Coulter kept her thoughts on all-anal connubial bliss to herself. She did, however, say that "a good woman civilizes and inspires a man to strive for something better." In other words, she thinks marriage is like an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But with more ass-banging, or less? — GREG BEATO
My favorite network: Comedy Central
This is a new development. I never used to watch it. Now I can't turn it off. Here's some news:
Comedy Central said yesterday that it was giving Mr. Colbert his own show: a half-hour that is expected to follow "The Daily Show" on weeknights and will lampoon those cable-news shows that are dominated by the personality and sensibility of a single host. Think, he said, of Bill O'Reilly and Chris Matthews and Sean Hannity.Where "The Daily Show" and its host, Jon Stewart, generally spoof the headlines of the day (and the anchors and reporters who deliver them), Mr. Colbert's program will send up those hosts who have become household names doing interviews and offering analyses each night on the 24-hour cable news channels. The program, which is expected to begin appearing on Comedy Central as soon as early fall, is being produced by Mr. Stewart's production company, Busboy Productions.
Flesh Eating Bacteria?
What the hell is wrong with Katie Holmes face? Is it herpes? flesh-eating bacteria? what?????
GoToDefamer
GoToDefamer
What Could It Mean?
Brothers send 2 tons of salami to troops in Iraq. "We know there are a bunch of homesick men and women over there, and to be able to do something. ... How do you put words to it? You have to do something."
Excuses.... Excuses....
"Television host Pat O'Brien says he didn't escape into alcohol rehabilitation to avoid embarrassing stories about obscene telephone calls he made that were circulating on the Internet."
Sure... we believe anything the alcoholic, drug-takin', woman chaser says.
Sure... we believe anything the alcoholic, drug-takin', woman chaser says.
June 5-6
Forget May sweeps and all of the upcoming season finales:
“Entourage” - June 5 at 9 p.m.
“The Comeback” (Lisa Kudrow's new show) at 9:30 p.m.
Then June 6, the final season of “Six Feet Under” begins.
“Entourage” - June 5 at 9 p.m.
“The Comeback” (Lisa Kudrow's new show) at 9:30 p.m.
Then June 6, the final season of “Six Feet Under” begins.
TV Night
Busy, busy night folks.... your Tivo or VCR is gonna be smokin'!
Lost at 8pm on ABC
American Idol at 9pm on FOX
Fallen Idol at 10pm on ABC
Lost at 8pm on ABC
American Idol at 9pm on FOX
Fallen Idol at 10pm on ABC
Tuesday, May 3
Amy Sedaris
How I wish I grew up a member of the Sedaris family. I would be considered "normal."
Has anyone ever seen Amy (from Strangers With Candy, Sex and the City, etc) on David Letterman? She's so f'in strange, I don't know whether to laugh or to be offended. I always Tivo whenever she's on.
Has anyone ever seen Amy (from Strangers With Candy, Sex and the City, etc) on David Letterman? She's so f'in strange, I don't know whether to laugh or to be offended. I always Tivo whenever she's on.
Speaking of Life On A Stick
My friend and former roommate, Jack Worley, was a guest star on Life on a Stick last Wednesday. His lines were cut, but boy, he sure made a fucking awesome extra! Go Jack!
Also, see his Saturn ads in national magazines everywhere! I can't wait till Jack is famous. It will be really cool to hang out with him in public. I hope he gets a Sidekick, it gets stolen, and my number's in it.
Also, see his Saturn ads in national magazines everywhere! I can't wait till Jack is famous. It will be really cool to hang out with him in public. I hope he gets a Sidekick, it gets stolen, and my number's in it.
Paula Learns Her ABCs
I can't wait for ABC's expose on American Idol tomorrow. It could turn out to be nothing, but then again, it could turn out to be the latest in celebrity trainwrecks. How is it that one show attracts such fucking idiots, both contestants or judges. When Scott Savol is making other people on AI look good, there's some shit going on. Some 100% enjoyable shit. (FYI - Bo Bice doing cocaine is about the biggest "so what" since Life on a Stick got cancelled.)
I Heart Jon Stewart
"Would maybe his back not hurt if he fondled taller people?" - Jon Stewart joking about Michael Jackson's chronic back pain
Punk'd, without the punchline
Have you seen Con on Comedy Central? OMG, hilarious! Skyler Stone is outrageously funny. He'll do anything to get something for free. When he and his friends take over a swanky salon in BevHills pretending to be filming "Extreme Homeless Makeover" and get the entire staff to get all emotional over his story as he's pretending to be homeless (the receptionist even begins to cry, she's so touched) and then he NEVER LETS THEM IN ON THE JOKE! Hilarious. Also, the episode where his Brad Pitt-dead-on-look-a-like friend pretends to be Brad Pitt being punk'd at a restaurant and the entire staff and everyone eating at the restaurant taking pictures and clapping, totally thinking it's Brad Pitt, and then they're NEVER LET IN ON THE JOKE! So mean! And maybe my new favorite show...
Salma Takes a Shit
I never watched Punk'd. But I did the other night. And boy, I'm glad I did. Ashton did a hilarious punk'd on Salma Hayek that eventually got an entire restaurant thinking she took a giant dump in the bathroom which led to the toilet flooding. Salma was visibly disturbed that she was being accussed of this. "I can't believe we're talking about this in your restaurant!" Classic!
The Eva Longoria punk'd wasn't bad, either. But I'm sad to learn that she is one of those actresses that likes to flaunt how successful they are. Ick.
The Eva Longoria punk'd wasn't bad, either. But I'm sad to learn that she is one of those actresses that likes to flaunt how successful they are. Ick.
Coachella
I made it to Coachella over the weekend. What an amazing, if completely overwhelming, music festival. My goal was to see about 20 of the 40 or so bands that played on Saturday. I think I caught 10. It's hard when all of the sets overlap and are a bit of a walk. My favorites: Snow Patrol, Bloc Party and Secret Machines. Of course, Coldplay, Keane and Wilco were fab, and so was Cafe Tacuba. Here's MTV's take:
INDIO, California — One played tender melodic rock, the other fierce industrial metal, but at the heart of Coachella's headliners was the same thing: a man with a piano and something to say.
On paper, Coldplay and Nine Inch Nails, who topped Saturday and Sunday's lineups respectively, represent the wide diversity that is the Coachella Valley Music Festival. However, when it came to their performances, both bands drew from deep emotions for sets that, despite the massive setting, felt intensely intimate. Whether it's "Yellow" or "Hurt," there's just something profoundly personal about a piano solo under the stars.While new parent Chris Martin clearly had love and happiness on his mind (one of their new songs is even titled "Love"), Trent Reznor's song selections stuck to his signature declarations of hatred (at himself and others) and isolation. "Don't you f---ing know what you are?" he screamed over and over during one new track.
Now in its sixth year, Coachella has mastered the recipe for the perfect weekend festival: enough buzz bands to fill a season of "The O.C.," a couple of chart-toppers and a pinch of under-the-radar show-stealers to perform for 22 hours over two days on five stages. All this and not one stage named after a corporate sponsor.With attendance back to about 50,000 per day (last year topped 60,000) and temperatures 20 degrees below 2004's scorching 100-degree days, navigating the five stages was much more bearable, although there was still the juggling act of trying to catch all the anticipated shows. It's not easy when the Bravery, the Futureheads and Tegan and Sara are playing simultaneously, but here at MTV News, we did our best. Here are some highlights:
"I know, it's cheesy," Coldplay's Chris Martin told the largest assembled audience of the weekend at Saturday's end after changing "And it was called yellow" to "And it was Coachella" during the band's breakthrough hit. Martin also called himself ugly, apologized for rambling and asked, "I know we're foreigners, but will you give us a chance?" Maybe the sleepers in the back made him insecure (hey, it was almost midnight), but the thunderous roars for both their old and new songs and the constant flicking of camera flashes had to have been ego-boosting. Coldplay previewed several new tunes, including the heart-tugging " 'Til Kingdom Come," which Martin said was written for Johnny Cash.
Wait, is that Trent Reznor in white? Perhaps symbolic of the new, sober man behind Nine Inch Nails? Regardless, he shed the shirt for a black tank top after a few tunes, around the same time the band really got going with Pretty Hate Machine anthem "Terrible Lies." Reznor, whose new band tore into its instruments like untamed beasts, mixed favorites such as "Piggy" and "Closer" with the heavier tracks from the upcoming With Teeth, including the title track and "You Know What You Are?" For the finale, the sweat-covered singer marched through "Hurt," "The Hand That Feeds" and "Head Like a Hole," the best of Nails' three eras.
The Arcade Fire, one of the biggest buzz bands of the weekend, appeared to live up to the hype as the Outdoor Theatre crowd pogoed for most of the group's high-energy set. Singer Win Butler has a rock-star persona similar to Conor Oberst (whose Bright Eyes played later), but the fun was in watching the rest of the band, whose various members not only switched instruments constantly but also screamed every lyric, climbed the rafters, banged on everything in sight and wrestled each other to the ground.
Snow Patrol, Keane and Wilco drew surprising numbers to the Coachella stage Saturday, but it was Weezer who brought the hits. The band played radio single after radio single, and the audience sang along "just like Buddy Holly."
Not only did several bands inspired by New Order and Joy Division perform — among them the Secret Machines, the Bravery and Bloc Party — but so did New Order themselves. They dusted off "Blue Monday" and "Bizarre Love Triangle," as well as JD's "Love Will Tear Us Apart."
Filling in for the Cocteau Twins (who backed out of their reunion) were reunited legends of a different genre. Performing as Black Star for the first time in years, Mos Def and Talib Kweli rose to the difficulty of following Nine Inch Nails by bringing out the festival's only surprise guest, Common, for his "Get By" and the Black Star collabo "Respiration."
With the wall of sound from the Raveonettes on the Coachella Stage echoing beside him, British jazz crooner Jamie Cullum literally stomped on his piano keys to lure in curious early arrivers Saturday afternoon. Although he wondered aloud what he was doing there ("I'm playing Cole Porter at a rock festival!"), Cullum answered his own question with a set every bit as rock and roll — in spirit at least — as the other piano men on the bill. For his closer, Cullum delivered his cover of Radiohead's "High and Dry," ambitiously adding audience participation, some piano freestyling and a drum solo he played standing while his drummer kept the beat on the same kit.
Later Saturday on the Outdoor Theatre, after shirtless Razorlight singer Johnny Borrell channeled Iggy Pop in a blistering set that blended infectious rock with politically charged punk, Rilo Kiley stole alt-country fans on their way to see Wilco by beginning with their single "It's a Hit." Singer Jenny Lewis, one of only a few females performing at Coachella, and her angelic, pitch-perfect voice proved a soothing soundtrack to the desert sunset, especially on the sexy "love song" (her words) "I Never."
Sunday had its own angelic voice on the Outdoor Theatre in Jem. The British singer played "They," "Wish I" and other sunny tracks from Finally Woken for her early afternoon show, as well as covers of Stevie Wonder's "Master Blaster" and Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed." "I don't know if this is PC to say here, but I did this song when I was the wedding band on 'The O.C.,' " Jem said with a smile. "Oh, come on, it's a guilty pleasure."
In the Sahara tent, which was definitely the spot for the techno heads fiendin' for a rave, UNKLE stole the show Saturday with a set that ended with a remix of the Killers' "Mr. Brightside" followed by U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name."
While Kasabian whipped the Mojave tent into a frenzy for a solid hour Sunday afternoon, a crowd spilling out of the nearby Gobi tent caught Sri Lankan rapper M.I.A. After she ended her set with the single "Galang," the crowd's screaming brought her for a rare Coachella encore, a freestyle to the beat of Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'." Earlier that afternoon, M.I.A.'s DJ and boyfriend, Diplo, dropped tongues in the Sahara tent by working in mash-ups of Outkast with the Cure and Ying Yang Twins with the Bangles into his set of Brazilian hip-hop.
It was all worth it for the goth kids (and there were many) who sweated out hours of desert heat in their black PVC pants, mesh shirts and black lipstick when Bauhaus took the main stage Saturday (oddly, in between Weezer and Coldplay). Singer Peter Murphy, in shocking bleach-blond hair, took the stage by being lowered upside-down on a wire, while the band took care of its biggest hit, "Bela Lugosi's Dead."
Although not spotted together, 'NSYNC's Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez both took in Coachella. JT and girlfriend Cameron Diaz mingled in the VIP area before joining Gwyneth Paltrow on the side of Coldplay's stage. Meanwhile, Chasez was seen checking out a DJ set from Perry Farrell, the only artist to perform at all six Coachellas. Chloë Sevigny, Danny Masterson and Danny DeVito were also seen around the festival.
A star is traditionally born at each Coachella, and while Rilo Kiley's Lewis and the Arcade Fire's Butler are this year's frontrunners, 2005 saw the festival's first actual birth: Although it took place at a nearby hospital, a woman went into labor at the festival on Saturday afternoon.
INDIO, California — One played tender melodic rock, the other fierce industrial metal, but at the heart of Coachella's headliners was the same thing: a man with a piano and something to say.
On paper, Coldplay and Nine Inch Nails, who topped Saturday and Sunday's lineups respectively, represent the wide diversity that is the Coachella Valley Music Festival. However, when it came to their performances, both bands drew from deep emotions for sets that, despite the massive setting, felt intensely intimate. Whether it's "Yellow" or "Hurt," there's just something profoundly personal about a piano solo under the stars.While new parent Chris Martin clearly had love and happiness on his mind (one of their new songs is even titled "Love"), Trent Reznor's song selections stuck to his signature declarations of hatred (at himself and others) and isolation. "Don't you f---ing know what you are?" he screamed over and over during one new track.
Now in its sixth year, Coachella has mastered the recipe for the perfect weekend festival: enough buzz bands to fill a season of "The O.C.," a couple of chart-toppers and a pinch of under-the-radar show-stealers to perform for 22 hours over two days on five stages. All this and not one stage named after a corporate sponsor.With attendance back to about 50,000 per day (last year topped 60,000) and temperatures 20 degrees below 2004's scorching 100-degree days, navigating the five stages was much more bearable, although there was still the juggling act of trying to catch all the anticipated shows. It's not easy when the Bravery, the Futureheads and Tegan and Sara are playing simultaneously, but here at MTV News, we did our best. Here are some highlights:
"I know, it's cheesy," Coldplay's Chris Martin told the largest assembled audience of the weekend at Saturday's end after changing "And it was called yellow" to "And it was Coachella" during the band's breakthrough hit. Martin also called himself ugly, apologized for rambling and asked, "I know we're foreigners, but will you give us a chance?" Maybe the sleepers in the back made him insecure (hey, it was almost midnight), but the thunderous roars for both their old and new songs and the constant flicking of camera flashes had to have been ego-boosting. Coldplay previewed several new tunes, including the heart-tugging " 'Til Kingdom Come," which Martin said was written for Johnny Cash.
Wait, is that Trent Reznor in white? Perhaps symbolic of the new, sober man behind Nine Inch Nails? Regardless, he shed the shirt for a black tank top after a few tunes, around the same time the band really got going with Pretty Hate Machine anthem "Terrible Lies." Reznor, whose new band tore into its instruments like untamed beasts, mixed favorites such as "Piggy" and "Closer" with the heavier tracks from the upcoming With Teeth, including the title track and "You Know What You Are?" For the finale, the sweat-covered singer marched through "Hurt," "The Hand That Feeds" and "Head Like a Hole," the best of Nails' three eras.
The Arcade Fire, one of the biggest buzz bands of the weekend, appeared to live up to the hype as the Outdoor Theatre crowd pogoed for most of the group's high-energy set. Singer Win Butler has a rock-star persona similar to Conor Oberst (whose Bright Eyes played later), but the fun was in watching the rest of the band, whose various members not only switched instruments constantly but also screamed every lyric, climbed the rafters, banged on everything in sight and wrestled each other to the ground.
Snow Patrol, Keane and Wilco drew surprising numbers to the Coachella stage Saturday, but it was Weezer who brought the hits. The band played radio single after radio single, and the audience sang along "just like Buddy Holly."
Not only did several bands inspired by New Order and Joy Division perform — among them the Secret Machines, the Bravery and Bloc Party — but so did New Order themselves. They dusted off "Blue Monday" and "Bizarre Love Triangle," as well as JD's "Love Will Tear Us Apart."
Filling in for the Cocteau Twins (who backed out of their reunion) were reunited legends of a different genre. Performing as Black Star for the first time in years, Mos Def and Talib Kweli rose to the difficulty of following Nine Inch Nails by bringing out the festival's only surprise guest, Common, for his "Get By" and the Black Star collabo "Respiration."
With the wall of sound from the Raveonettes on the Coachella Stage echoing beside him, British jazz crooner Jamie Cullum literally stomped on his piano keys to lure in curious early arrivers Saturday afternoon. Although he wondered aloud what he was doing there ("I'm playing Cole Porter at a rock festival!"), Cullum answered his own question with a set every bit as rock and roll — in spirit at least — as the other piano men on the bill. For his closer, Cullum delivered his cover of Radiohead's "High and Dry," ambitiously adding audience participation, some piano freestyling and a drum solo he played standing while his drummer kept the beat on the same kit.
Later Saturday on the Outdoor Theatre, after shirtless Razorlight singer Johnny Borrell channeled Iggy Pop in a blistering set that blended infectious rock with politically charged punk, Rilo Kiley stole alt-country fans on their way to see Wilco by beginning with their single "It's a Hit." Singer Jenny Lewis, one of only a few females performing at Coachella, and her angelic, pitch-perfect voice proved a soothing soundtrack to the desert sunset, especially on the sexy "love song" (her words) "I Never."
Sunday had its own angelic voice on the Outdoor Theatre in Jem. The British singer played "They," "Wish I" and other sunny tracks from Finally Woken for her early afternoon show, as well as covers of Stevie Wonder's "Master Blaster" and Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed." "I don't know if this is PC to say here, but I did this song when I was the wedding band on 'The O.C.,' " Jem said with a smile. "Oh, come on, it's a guilty pleasure."
In the Sahara tent, which was definitely the spot for the techno heads fiendin' for a rave, UNKLE stole the show Saturday with a set that ended with a remix of the Killers' "Mr. Brightside" followed by U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name."
While Kasabian whipped the Mojave tent into a frenzy for a solid hour Sunday afternoon, a crowd spilling out of the nearby Gobi tent caught Sri Lankan rapper M.I.A. After she ended her set with the single "Galang," the crowd's screaming brought her for a rare Coachella encore, a freestyle to the beat of Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'." Earlier that afternoon, M.I.A.'s DJ and boyfriend, Diplo, dropped tongues in the Sahara tent by working in mash-ups of Outkast with the Cure and Ying Yang Twins with the Bangles into his set of Brazilian hip-hop.
It was all worth it for the goth kids (and there were many) who sweated out hours of desert heat in their black PVC pants, mesh shirts and black lipstick when Bauhaus took the main stage Saturday (oddly, in between Weezer and Coldplay). Singer Peter Murphy, in shocking bleach-blond hair, took the stage by being lowered upside-down on a wire, while the band took care of its biggest hit, "Bela Lugosi's Dead."
Although not spotted together, 'NSYNC's Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez both took in Coachella. JT and girlfriend Cameron Diaz mingled in the VIP area before joining Gwyneth Paltrow on the side of Coldplay's stage. Meanwhile, Chasez was seen checking out a DJ set from Perry Farrell, the only artist to perform at all six Coachellas. Chloë Sevigny, Danny Masterson and Danny DeVito were also seen around the festival.
A star is traditionally born at each Coachella, and while Rilo Kiley's Lewis and the Arcade Fire's Butler are this year's frontrunners, 2005 saw the festival's first actual birth: Although it took place at a nearby hospital, a woman went into labor at the festival on Saturday afternoon.
Reality TV News
NBC has announced plans to air six reality series as part of its Summer 2005 programming schedule. Staggering their debuts throughout the summer, the network will launch the shows in three waves, starting with I Want To Be A Hilton and Average Joe 4: The Joes Strike Back in late June, followed by The Law Firm and Meet Mister Mom in late July/early August, and concluding with the mid-August premieres of Tommy Lee Goes To College and the second season of The Biggest Loser, its Fall 2005 surprise hit.
Idol Gossip
From Drudge:
WILL PAULA BE BOUNCED FROM 'IDOL': ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE TO BE AIRED
Is Paula Abdul the next person to be booted off AMERICAN IDOL?
FOX executives have declined to answer any and all questions posed by ABCNEWS regarding claims AMERICA IDOL judge Paula Abdul personally "coached" a favorite contestant and then tried to cover up the breach, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
Even though ABC has been warned by Abdul powerattorney Marty Singer that the network faces legal action if it proceeds with Wednesday night's PRIMETIME LIVE expose -- ABC lawyers are convinced the bombshell audio evidence and video material to be presented in the special will pass any legal challenge. Late night phone calls and answering machine messages are said to tie Abdul, 42, to an inappropriate relationship with a 22 year-old contestant, sources tell DRUDGE. ABC is preparing to play the audio, along with on-camera interviews given by former contestants who did not receive the same personal "coaching."
"I am quite surprised and disappointed ABC is devoting an hour of its prime time programming to air tabloid trash," a top FOX executive said from Los Angeles. FOX owner Rupert Murdoch has informed executives that it appears ABC is attempting to maliciously "destroy" the nation's most-watched series as it heads into the final weeks.
WILL PAULA BE BOUNCED FROM 'IDOL': ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE TO BE AIRED
Is Paula Abdul the next person to be booted off AMERICAN IDOL?
FOX executives have declined to answer any and all questions posed by ABCNEWS regarding claims AMERICA IDOL judge Paula Abdul personally "coached" a favorite contestant and then tried to cover up the breach, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
Even though ABC has been warned by Abdul powerattorney Marty Singer that the network faces legal action if it proceeds with Wednesday night's PRIMETIME LIVE expose -- ABC lawyers are convinced the bombshell audio evidence and video material to be presented in the special will pass any legal challenge. Late night phone calls and answering machine messages are said to tie Abdul, 42, to an inappropriate relationship with a 22 year-old contestant, sources tell DRUDGE. ABC is preparing to play the audio, along with on-camera interviews given by former contestants who did not receive the same personal "coaching."
"I am quite surprised and disappointed ABC is devoting an hour of its prime time programming to air tabloid trash," a top FOX executive said from Los Angeles. FOX owner Rupert Murdoch has informed executives that it appears ABC is attempting to maliciously "destroy" the nation's most-watched series as it heads into the final weeks.
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